#cheetotalks

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

What if that silk moth never landed on Hornet’s gilded cage?

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

LU Headcanon #1

In Wild’s era, it is common etiquette to leave a bite of food on your plate to signal that you’re done and satisfied with your meal—if you finish your whole plate, you obviously are still hungry, and you need another serving. With a group of travelers around a cooking pot on the road (with many of them contributing to the pot as well), it makes sense that everyone should get as much as they want, because the cook will always make an effort to ensure there will be more to go around and lots of leftovers afterwards. The people of Wild’s era pride themselves on fiercely taking care of taking care of one another, even a stranger they’ll never meet again, and to do that they can ensure they have a full belly and a happy heart for the road ahead.

Some of the other heroes (Hyrule, Twilight maybe or Warrior or Wind) instead come from a culture where not finishing one’s plate is extremely, extremely rude and ungrateful. Food is a precious commodity, nevermind hot, just prepared food—to leave a single scrap of food on your plate for any other reason that it was poisoned would be a slap in the face to the cook that has spent so much time and effort to prepare the meal. To deny any offered food would amount to a similar crime.

Anyways. This is how I imagine their first few days going, before they realize they’re having a communication issue:

Wild, tapping away at his Slate: wow, these guys really are hungry! I better up the portions, I was hoping for leftovers but they’re eating enough to feed a group three times their size! I wonder if next time I should… Twilight: (slumped over) wow that new guy sure likes to cook, huh? Wind: Ough *burp* I’m so full.... Warrior: you don’t say? I feel like a pig fattened for the slaughter Hyrule: (face down on the ground in a food coma) ……. ……. …… Time: (hesitantly) you know, you boys can just say no when he offers you another serving… The others, in panicked unison: NO Warrior: (scoffing) Hylia, Time, who raised you?

Anyways. General hilarity ensues until they figure out the miscommunication that, no, an empty plate doesn't mean Wild should silently pile it with more food. Discuss.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Hello everyone! A group of friends and I got into a discussion that spanned multiple weeks about the true definition of a "babygirl" in media. It started as a discussion of "babygirls" in Linked Universe fanfiction but soon expanded to mainstream media, and as such most examples are from this mainstream media for a wider audience (aside from War Crimes Warriors from Call Them Brothers by @wutheringmights, whose fabulous work sparked this debate). Please note that the definition is still under construction, and that all examples may not fit within it 100%, but I believe still generally match the vibes of babygirl. Now, without further ado:

Babygirl Definition

Committing/has committed war crimes (*)

Has Emotions TM about the war crimes, often doubles down

Usually male?

Is, at some point in his life, a sad wet cat (**)

Has experienced the Horrors (***)

Make the Horrors everybody else's problem

Attractive (????)

To fans: endearing but also frustrating, misunderstood

To non-fans: hateable

(Used to) have an ego/pride/"reputation" (which may lead to the aforementioned war crimes)

Has a vulnerability they're stupid about, are aware they're being stupid about it, and yet continue to be stupid about it (passion project, child, etc).

Babygirl examples: War Crime Warriors from Call Them Brothers, Jayce Arcane, Hohenheim FMAB, Zuko ATLA, Boromir LOTR, Elphaba Wicked, Anakin Star Wars, Odysseus, Bill Nye, Stanley and Stanford Pines Gravity Falls, Jamie Lannister, Obama, Howl Moving Castle, Katniss and Haymitch The Hunger Games, The 9th Doctor, Dean Winchester, Bucky Barnes.

(*) War crimes do not refer specifically to acts that violate the Geneva Conventions, but rather to any general act that would be considered inexcusable or otherwise extremely unsavory by the in-universe population. Ex: Jayce accidentally killing a Zaunite child.

(**) For definition of sad wet cat, just imagine a sopping wet cat caught in a sudden, unexpected rainstorm and you're there. A full definition list, like the one above, has not been made: but this term, generally defined, is a period of time in which one feels self-loathing, disgust, hatred, and powerlessness towards oneself, others, and/or the current situation at hand. Often at least partially self created. Ex: Zuko's banishment arc

(***) A traumatic experience (sometimes more than one) that changes them irrevocably. It propels the character forwards into the plot in a way that they do not anticipate, enjoy, and/or completely understand, but have no choice but to adapt to anyways. Ex: Katniss' reaping Thank you to @bittirsweeteer @not-freyja @life-in-winter @elle-rosewater @hytiaa @cinis0 @anime-obsessed @whatvioletdoes-blog @lunaopus @glowingmin @gia-d and @undertheopensky for contributing to the discussion, that was a fun few conversation (if I've forgotten anyone, please let me know). This is mostly being posted for my own amusement, but I hope that anyone else who stumbles across this post finds it mildly amusing! You're welcome to reblog with your own babygirls, lol

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

I am joining the fight against evil on the side of evil. May the heroes fall and may evil reign forever. Until declared otherwise, my name is now Mild Mayonnaise Love.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

So many evil LU boys followed me today. I hope you guys are having fun

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

What's up guys they need to take me out back. For a birthday party! Or something. check out ao3 in just a couple of minutes I guess.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Ah, we meet at last. Will you stand beside me as allies united under the same name, or do you seek to challenge me, believing that there can only be one...?

You.

Over a year after this account was created, we finally meet face to face. I am honored to make your acquaintance on this cursed website.

We are better than allies and worse than enemies, dear internet stranger. We are mutuals, now. Brothers, even. Brothers under the same name, the likes of Cain and Abel.

Whether our fates are similar to theirs is up to you, dear Hot Cheeto Hatred. And choose carefully: it may not be the older brother that prevails this time. That would be quite the boring story.

In the meantime, I am glad to be in your company.

Sincerely, HotCheetoHatred(WasTaken)

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

I just nearly illegally downloaded a turkey, all of you should be proud of me for not