Fun thing that happened at work; someone threw a hydrazine-soaked kimwipe in the trashcan. Apparently you do need a sign that says "Do not throw rocket fuel in trash. Thanks"
"What of your quiet days? Has he helped you through any of those?"
Dallon reached out, running his finger along the edge of the desk, "I will regale you with the first day he came to me during that time. I knew it was an off day for me, as when I opened my eyes getting up seemed like an undoable chore to me, pointless. I called forth a servant to go to his room to let him know that he was free to do as he wished for the day.
"An hour later, or rather what felt like an hour later, I was still in my bed, and he came into my room with many questions. I could not answer. My mind would not process his words fast enough and all I could manage was the question of why he was there in my room. He was free for the day, or had the servant not told him?
"Apparently he had thought that by a free day that whilst he was out I was going to be caught up doing lessons, or getting ready to court somebody for marriage. But when he had gotten wind that I was simply alone in my room he was confused. He did not consider me the type to sulk over anything.
"Oh if only it was sulking, I answered. Once again, he was lost I think. But the air changed when he seemed to understand. Then he asked why I had isolated myself like I had done, would I not be better off with some kind of company?
I will admit I scoffed, answering harshly and slowly as I seem to do on days like those (He did not deserve the attitude I gave him.). Why, I said, I doubted anyone would like to have to deal with me in my current state. It was better to keep to myself during those times so nobody would have to see me. Everyone has to deal with me on a day to day basis as I am, I would rather not have to make them tolerate me more when I reach my lows.
"This shocked him, I could hear it, and he asked if I thought that he was just dealing with or tolerating me (Keep in mind, this was about a month or so into our companionship and I had managed to keep my mind in check and my mouth even more so. So I believe such bluntness about my person, about myself, surprised him at first.)."
"And what was your reply?"
Dallon scratched at his arm, "I could not lie. I said yes."
"What was his reaction?" The Chemist tapped his fingers on his arm.
"He was silent for a fair few moments, then he sat on the edge of the bed."
"And?"
"That was it. He sat there. He would talk at times, get up and walk about the room when I think he got tired of sitting still, but he never left my presence unless he had to go relieve himself or get us food."
"He compelled you to eat?" Chemist interjected, smile widening even more.
"Two dried dates, a slice of bread and a drink of beer."
That was more than Dallon had ever eaten during those times. Most times he wouldn't even eat when Silkez asked him to.
"At night, he bade me to walk with him, promising everyone else asleep at that time. I agreed, having enough energy and a slight want to leave my room, and took his arm, walking out of my room and into the dark of night with him at my side.
"You were feeling better then?"
"Marginally. Enough to walk slowly and give curt replies to conversations when he would gently implore me to join. He did listen when we exited into the courtyard and I told him that I'd had enough of idle words and wished to sit.
"I was led to the pool, where we sat and dipped our legs in. And after a few seconds of sitting, he began to sing. Oh gods, his voice is like a gentle breeze on a burning desert day already, but when he sings...the only likeness I can compare it to is honey. Even the birds would be jealous had they been awake to hear him.
"He started out softly at first, something in his native Persian tongue as I could not understand it to be something of ours, or a language I knew. I will admit, the melody soothed my nerves for a moment, and pleased my ears all the while. But my mind, it would not be calmed for long.
"Again I asked silence of him, and he obeyed. Then I relayed my previous question unto him again. Why was he here with me this day? Surely I was the worst of company in my state. Cold, harsh. I could hardly muster a multisyllabic answer to any of his own questions much less an action of proper affection as I would on our days of usual jest. He could have found more entertainment with the servants, or the people in the market place. He could have entertained with his dancing, which I knew he loved to do. Why, I asked, would he shut such a vivacious flame as himself up with me?"
Dallon had paused, so much so that the Chemist grew worried, "What was his reply?"
A soft blush spread over Dallon's cheeks, "He said: "To keep you warm.""
Chemist's eyes widened, "Such a bold answer!"
"It is his nature." Dallon tried to keep his smile down, but the crimson on his cheeks made up for it, "To answer so boldly."
"And what next then?"
"I was speechless in the moment, hoping my reaction was not obviously painted on my face. by this time I had already known my own feelings for him, and to hear such a statement from him set my heart to skip a beat. However, in that same moment the demons shut it down. I could not possibly think that such affections were towards me, my fantasizing must have gotten the best of me. It was platonic, nay, spur of the moment - platonic if I was lucky.
"I looked down, saying that staying shut up with me and the beer had gone to his head. To which he replied that it took a lot more than that to make him lose his senses. So then I asked him if he felt obligated because of the collar he wore...." Dallon ran his fingers lightly over his palm, "He took my hand gently, and brushed my fingers over his neck, revealing that he had vested himself of the accessory, and was supposedly there of his own volition.
"My heart picked up even faster, as if it was making up for the skips that had happened earlier, but the demons teased me further. Surely he still had that sense of obligation. After all, he could not ignore me all day and not rouse your concern could he?
"I pulled...well...jolted my hand away instantly on a reflex, I was so shocked. But I think I hurt his feelings by doing so. And he asked something, I cannot remember as it was too quiet and my heart was audible in my ears. I demanded to be taken back to my room, things were beginning to be too much for me in that moment. And while his shift indicated that he seemed to have more to say on the subject, he did not say a word. But rather, he held my hand when he led me back, and kissed the top of it as he wished me a good night."
Summary: Dallon is asked if he wants to be the next in line, acquiesces, and then talks of marriage ensue. Will his love be pursued? (yeah)
"Do you wish to be next in line for Pharaoh?"
The Chemist's question came out so sharp and from seemingly out of nowhere that Dallon had immediately stopped what he had been talking about, and looked at his father in disbelief. It took him a minute to formulate a reply, mouth agape and stuttering a few times before he did so.
"And what of Silkez?" He started, "Was he not next in line?"
A nod from the Chemist, "Indeed, he was. But earlier this week when I had a meeting with him, he voiced to me that he did not desire to be next in line. He told me that his nerves would be too high, and he feared that he would not be a good leader. I, too, admit I was worried for his mental health and was going to ask, but that he brought it up first was much better." He did hate underestimating his sons, even if he knew their limits. Leaning back in his chair, he kept an eye on Dallon, gauging his reaction.
The younger son half nodded, head down as he played with his hands, "Do you suppose as well, that part of it may have been the pressure to carry on the lineage of our family?"
At that Chem squinted, "He brought up the very same thing. Have you two discussed the subject previously?"
"Yes we have spoken of this privately. We know that carrying on the line is a very important task that would require us to marry the opposite sex. And you know our interests to say the least.
"Surely you do not think I would tear you away from your loves for the sake of such a thing." Chem's face became serious as he folded his arms.
"So does this mean you'll allow Silkez to marry Sciens if he wishes?" Dallon challenged, seeming to test his father's steadfastness on the matter.
The Chemist was well prepared, however. Having not only thought about it himself, but discussed the entire subject with his wife, the Uccisore (How could he not after all? Every important situation or subject he talked with her about. As well, there was hardly one that she didn't already know about.), "Yes. And if Cognitio wishes to keep a bit of tradition, and Silkez is alright with it then he can join Sciens back to their home islands." he raised a brow, "You still have not answered my question."
Dallon looked perplexed, like he still had much more to say on the matter, "I will answer your questions yet, but I must know: If not I and Silkez, then who will carry on the line?"
"Your sisters, if they wish to have children at all. And, subsequently, are alright with their children having the possibility to rule."
"So you are completely fine with possibility that this line may end where we currently stand?"
Chemist was silent. Weighing how to answer, "Dallon, what I am not okay with is ruining my children's happiness for my own selfish wants. If the line ends, so be it. I'd rather you all be happy without a continuation, than miserable with."
Dallon looked a bit taken aback with the answer he was given, but he nodded with a small cough, "I see. And no, I would not mind being next in line for the Pharaoh. It is a great honor you would ask me."
"Alright. Now, I know you Dallon. Will you need help some days?"
A moment of silence, from his end, "Yes, I will, but the marriage will secure that there is always a help to be had, correct?"
"Only if you wish to be married." the Chemist smiled, having a feeling already who he wished to be partnered with, "Do you already have a person in mind for this?"
"Yes. Viveka would make a lovely wife."
If the Chemist had been drinking anything, he would have spit it out immediately, "What? Dallon please tell me that is a joke. I know for a fact neither of you are interested in each other in the least. You two are more like siblings than anything, she was raised alongside you. And, that aside, her wife to-be would be very offended by your invitation."
Dallon's eyes shifted slightly, "Alright then...Araxie will work."
The Chemist frowned in frustration, "Dallon...."
"Miss Ratsel? I am certain one of the twins could bade her to come visit. She seems very sweet."
"Dallon-"
"Princex Compos is very beautiful I hear."
"Dallon!" Chemist shouted a bit louder than he meant to, making Dallon silence himself. The younger son scratching at his hands, and still not looking up.
The Chemist sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose before, eyes narrowed, he studied his son, "Dallon, why are you doing this? Listing off women, or rather, biological women, that you could never love that same way you do a biological man? The way you love a very certain man." He leaned forwards on his desk, "Did nothing I say about not having to continue our lineage, and to pursue your love make it through to you?"
"It made it through," Dallon fidgeted, "But I cannot very well pursue the one I love for much longer. I would rather, or may as well, do something and try to give back to you and the kingdom."
"And you would do so by putting yourself and your partner into a marriage where you may very well grow to detest and they will be miserable in? All for the sake of lineage and lovelessness? I am very disappointed to hear this Dallon. I thought in these matters your mother and I taught you to consider other's feelings far better than this." Chem was harsh, but his expression softened when he saw Dallon shaking a bit.
"I'm sorry." Dallon whispered, wiping at his eyes, he seemed to be pushing hard on them as he did so.
Another moment of silence passed between them, "His leave getting closer is bothering you...isn't it?"
"I know his father has been demanding him back earlier and ealier. I am very afraid that I will not even have a chance to say goodbye in the way I wish to, let alone at all. He doesn't like to wake me up when he has to use the bathroom or get us food, I fear he will do the same on the day he leaves."
"You think he thinks that little of you?"
Dallon did not answer that directly, "I think he would view it as protecting me if he were to do it."
Chem was silent as he pondered, "What do you think he thinks of you?"
"I...." Dallon seemed to be fighting for words, "I believe he loves me."
A small smile came on the Chemists face when he heard that, "How many demons did you have to fight to be able to say that?"
At that, Dallon laughed bitterly, rubbing his arms, "Many."
"Well then." Chem hummed in thought, "What does he do, or what has he done, that makes you know he loves you?'
"Know?"
"Yes, know."
Dallon looked as if he was racking his mind again, "Well...he.... When I say I love him now, he holds my hand when he replies with the same words in return. When we go out to the river, he goes swimming and brings me back shells, all different, and each he describes to me," Dallon laughed a bit, relaxing as he spoke, "He has given me so many I have two shelves for them now. I have made sure to keep every one.
"Speaking of the river, he even taught me how to swim...somewhat. It was in the shallows, and I did have to hold onto him sometimes for a way to get in a certain direction, but at one point he was just holding my torso steady as I swam and I was doing it! Then afterwards he let me just hold onto him while he swam. Once we were back on shore we stayed sitting where the waves came up. He described the sunset to me.
"And in that same way, he describes the night sky to me. As many nights as he can remember to now. When I tell him that he does not have to, he frowns, I swear he does, and tells me there is so much he has not told me about. That there's always another star he needs to inform me of, another galaxy he did not catch the last time. I cannot deny him, I love hearing about the skies, especially from his voice. So, I let him hold me and tell me about all he can see from where we left off another night." Dallon's smile was gradually getting bigger, and the Chemist's was too. He hadn't seen his son this happy in years.
One of the things that irks Viveka about Dallon, and irks me about the Osmont line has to be that they think they can do, or think they have to, everything and handle everything themselves.
When something happens that affects them, especially them directly - like the sickness, or heftig, or their depression/ptsd - they want to go it alone without help. They doesn't want to seem weak or needy-this especially applies to the depression and general insecurities. They will work or pressure themselves until they break and not ask a single person to help until it's too late.
Even though that's been helped a lot since Feroces, Allevos, Ehorins, and of course Sargens have come along, there's still a lot they won't say about themselves because of that niggling feeling, that fear. Chem is one of the worst, because he's a mob boss, and that thought process has become more of a mantra than anything.
And all these people are trying to get them to see that 'no you're not weak' or 'you can ask for help anytime' but they're stubborn as shit and second guess themselves too much.
