Not proofread, black coded reader, fem reader, mentions of smoking, broken limbs, broken bones, child abuse, brothels, pleasure district, red light district, that’s about it—see yuh (Enjoy!!)
Basically the start of this, as well as the prologue check this out!!
That’s the first thing you’ve ever felt, in your whole life. Warmth, for a split second, then it left. The swift changed triggered something within you, and next thing you know you were screaming, crying, and kicking.
“You did swell, missus L/N.” A strange man said, taking you gently and gently taking a small napkin, wiping you gently and calming you down.
You never knew that in just three years, that man would be like a father to you.
He gently but swiftly wrapped you up in a warm, but small cloth. He then stands, and walks to a futon on the floor.
He holds you close as he bends down, he makes sure you’re secure in his arms before he looks up at a woman.
Her tired eyes glare at him. She has her hand resting against one of the ropes that hung above the small mattress while her other one had let go and was gently rubbing against her coily head.
The man gestures you towards her, your little eyes stare up into hers. Yours full of life while her looks down on you with distain.
She scoffed and turned her head away, “Take it away.” She murmured bitterly.
The man stood up, securing you once again before he turned around and left.
He secures you on the way to the mistress, she turns around and looks down in his arms, looking at you before scoffing.
“What?” She scowls, before she bring a long pipe to her lips, pulling away and letting air blow past her lips.
“Please don’t smoke near the baby, Ms. Xiuying…” He sighs, pulling you closer to his chest before speaking.
“Missus L/N won’t take her, what would you like for me to do?” He asks, rocking you.
The mistress sighs before she empty’s her pipe and sets it down. She clears the air before holding out her hands, taking you.
“She could stay with me, I suppose…” She sighs, rocking you.
“But, me and my girls will be busy. Could she stay with you on those days and I go pick her up?”
He nods, before grabbing the strap of his bag and rummaging through it. He pulls out a small bottle. “Give this to the new mother, it could help her with the soreness.”
He explains, before setting it down, turning and leaving.
The mistress sighs, staring at the wide doors of the house before looking down at you.
Your eyes become droopy and you yawn, nuzzling into the side of her arm.
“Poor little girl…” She whispers as she rocks you. “What a sad way to come into the world, don’t worry. You won’t be loved, but you’ll be adored.”
She hummed, it was like a promise. And she shouldn’t have said it to someone so young, but she set the path for you. It was now your choice to follow it.
But, then again you were a baby. You had to learn things the hard way before anything ever clicked.
But, unfortunately for you, no one understood that…
She would ignore your cries and wails, she’d cover her ears while trying to block you out.
Postpartum was never an uncommon thing. Birthing blues was definitely something that everyone had seen once or twice.
But, it still didn’t excuse how for the first few weeks of your life, you had nothing to eat.
It was a true annoyance, your tears and screams drove the patrons away.
The other consorts, your older sisters, would reassure you it wasn’t your fault. But even from a young age, you knew.
You knew that the reason no man or patron walked into the brothel for a long while. The reason that sales had a brief but noticeable and negative effect on the house. Why no one got sleep for a long time.
And one night, it all blew over.
A late night. Very late. The moon shined through the window and onto your small body.
Tears, made your face glow in the moonlight. You wailed and screamed, thrashing around. Your little hands balled against your chest.
You shift back and forth, your mouth opening more as your tears grew louder.
Even to this day, you don’t know why you cried so much that night.
Maybe it was hunger or the lack of attention and care from your mother, but all you know is your tears didn’t stop.
Your mother just sat there, staring at your small body. But a look of pure rage and annoyance sat in her eyes.
Her hair was messy, she hadn’t taken care of herself in a while. Possibly due to you or just depression.
“Shut up…” She growls, her hands gripping her kimono tightly. But you ignored her, still moving. Begging for whatever you wanted.
“Shut up.” She says again, gripping even harder, her eyes scowling harder.
You thrashed more, kicking your tiny legs as more tears pooled in your eyes and rolled down your face, not stopping.
She charges at you, using one hand to push your small body into the mattress and the other raised above her head.
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She screams, pushing you down harder.
Her eyes were full of rage as she looked down at your body. Your little coughs from suffocation and tears ripping through you.
“I hate you! Why did he leave me?! I just wanted my freedom!” She growls, slamming her raise fist onto the mattress next to your head.
She stares at your suffocating body before she lets go. She climbs off the bed and storms away.
You never cried after that day.
As you grew, every time you came close to crying, you’d remember that day and stop nearly immediately.
You learned, it was always best if you stayed quiet and small.
Most days, you would ball yourself next to one of the shelves in the hallways, or you’d just sit outside by the back of the house.
You thought no one would see you for nothing more than a little doll, like your sisters did. Or a burden, like the mistress and your mother did.
You always hated how nobody saw you as your own person, everyone saw you as something that wasn’t fit for someone with a conscious. You remember how you used to wish someone saw you.
But, one day, your mother and the mistress finally dropped you off. To the man that saw you as something.
It wasn’t far, just the physician down the street to the brothel.
“Mister Haoyu, this is my young girl L/N. The best lady in the house. And this little girl here is Y/N.” The mistress greets him.
He smiles, softly. But that’s broken when your mother practically shoves you into his arms.
“I need this child away from me…” She muttered, before Haoyu could respond, your sister was already walking away.
The mistress turned to her before turning to him. “Please look after her. We’ll be back soon.”
Haoyu watched them leave, before looking down at you. He smiled then walked back inside.
Being a physician, he could already tell you weren’t taken care of. You were skinny, even for a baby, he could see a few bones.
“You’re very malnourished, Y/N.” Haoyu states, grabbing at your baby feet.
You only giggle in response, a gumless smile spreading across your face as you stared up at him.
His old hands reach onto the counter before handing a small bottle to you.
Your little hands grabbed at it, and with that still developing brain, you shook it for about a good minute before you put it in your mouth.
He giggles as he watches you happily chug the bottle. His soft and frail hands reach out to gently brush you coils back.
You stare up at him as you drank, you coo and waddle back and forth, scooting closer to him.
“Oh, Y/N…I’m so sorry.” He whispers, bringing you in closer to him.
“You’re very malnourished, but I’ll take care of you.” He reassures, tilting your body to grab the bottle.
“I promise.” He whispers, setting you down as you continue to drink and he continues with making his medicine.
He was always a great man, he took swell care of you when you were little. He understood that your mother couldn’t.
Nobody, in that wretched house could, so, every time someone from the house brought you, he would keep you for a few days.
Thankfully he did, if it weren’t for him, your growth probably would have gone nowhere at all.
The mistress returned the next morning, she had her arms crossed, standing in front of Haoyu and you.
“I can keep her, Xiuying.” He reassures her, holding a new bottle to your lips while you drank happily.
“L/N might not be happy. She should just come along back with me.” She retorts, her hands moving to be help out in front of her.
“I believe it’s for the best. The poor baby is malnourished, you know.” He claims, raising a brown as he fixed his hold on you.
The mistress glares, before sighing. “Okay, okay, fine…She’ll stay with you. But if L/N comes in here one day yelling about her daughter being missing, it was you.” She exclaims, before turning around and heading back.
Haoyu stares at her back before turning around, heading back into his shop before looking down at you.
“I truly doubt that.” He murmurs with a smile, looking down at you.
It was a good few months, almost a year. You had begun to speak and talk, thanks to Haoyu and his care.
You began turning over, crawling, walking, all thanks to him.
Your first words were please, much to his disadvantage. You were the cutest and hardest thing to say no to.
You finally became healthy, your body and health was amazing, thanks to him.
But, all good things come to an end. Because eventually your mother came back. She wasn’t even happy.
She stormed into the physician’s small house that day, picked you up with little care, and stormed out, not even explaining.
You silently cried in one of the corners of the brothel for days. Until your mother got tired of that and forced you to spend time with her.
Her definition of “spend time together” was her telling stories of your father. Of course, only she was ever enthusiastic with these stories.
She would get mad when you showed no emotion. Of course, it was your fault you never knew your father, I mean, how could you not know the man that gave life to you but hasn’t been in said life since you were born?
She also loved to remind you that you never were supposed to be born.
You were sitting on her bed, your feet crossed and your legs pulled up to you. You look down at her.
She’s already looking at you, glaring.
“I never asked for you to be born, Y/N.”
“I know…” You whisper, trying to make yourself seem smaller so it wouldn’t trigger one of her tyrants.
She scoffs, propping her head up with her hand.
“But…It’s for the best, I guess. Hopefully your father will come back to save me…” She sighs, smiling light before looking at you.
“He’ll probably love you…” She sighs, her smile dropping.
You two stare at each other before she grabs the blankets, pulling them over her body.
You nearly tumble off the bed as she does so but you hang on and climb back up.
You stare at the back of her before you lay down, facing the other way as her.
That’s how days went when your mother never knew how to be a mother. She would just tell stories, and damn near all of them never made sense to you.
You didn’t understand what a war or the military was. And you never asked to be born so why did she always make it seem like you didn’t and you never asked for permission.
Speaking of, most of those stories was about that unknown man.
Your mother always told stories of your father, in your youth. Whenever she didn’t know what to do with you.
“Your father…that man had eyes like yours.” She began, lying against her pillows. She sighs, looking away with a soft smile before she looked back at you.
She had you in her lap, her hands rested against your little legs as she spoke.
“You have his hair, it’s the same color. And face…you have his nose.” She says with a smile. Her hand reaches out to your face.
But before she touched you, she scowled and pulled her hand back. “But you have my eyes, as well as my face…That’s the only downside to having you.”
Your small smile drops from your face, before you look down and nod.
“He was lively, unlike you and me. He had this certain thing to him. I can never pinpoint what it is, but he always had this smile.”
“He always smiled at me, even when I never smiled back. He always told stupid jokes that I couldn’t help my laugh at.”
“He never stopped trying to make me smile.” She sighed, before looking back at you.
“You’ll love him. And he’ll love you.” She says, before she sets you down and gets up. “Get ready, you’re going to the old man’s.”
“Yes, L/N.” You say, climbing out of bed.
She walked ahead of you that day, while you struggled to keep up.
Your little legs basically running after her’s while she cursed you for being so slow and to keep up.
You two finally made it after she pulled you aside to beat you for wasting her time.
You nearly ran into Haoyu’s arms. Your mother only scoffed before she turned to leave, ignoring your muffled whimpers and Haoyu’s confused voice calling after her’s.
Later that night, you clung to Haoyu, your head resting against his chest as you looked down towards your feet.
“Please don’t make me go back, Haoyu…” You whispered, tears threatening to spill again even though your eyes felt dry and puffy.
“Please, Haoyu.” You begged, grabbing at your little yukata.
He only sighs, gently playing with your little coils and rubbing your knee. “Oh, Y/N…I wish I could. If it were up to me, you and I would be together, until you decide to leave.”
You perk up, looking up at him and glaring. “I wouldn’t do that! I never want to leave you, Haoyu!” You protest, wrapping your little arms around his waist.
“Oh, but you will. One day, Y/N.” He chuckles, combing out your little naps.
“Noooo!” You protest, shaking your head and trying to bury your face in his chest.
“Yes. One day you’ll find someone you wouldn’t mind staying with instead of me!” He claims, nipping your little side and shaking you a bit.
You only whine in protest, looking up at him with a pout as you clung to him.
It was the good things in life, like Haoyu that got you through the years your mother was still alive and the years she still remembered.
Because two months after she lost her mind.
She was complaining about itching. About how her skin was bothering her. About how she felt weird and disgusting.
She was losing customers, and the mistress finally just sent her to Haoyu’s, you had to be picked up anyways.
Your pickup turned into one of the worst days of your life. She had Syphilis. When she got pregnant, her ranking diminished.
She was set to the lower courtesans, who were subjected to sleeping with low paying customers. All those customers were low paying for a reason.
They all were disease ridden. Almost every single one of them, and your mother was unlucky enough she scored one patron that had been a secret admirer of her forever.
The walk back was very awkward. She walked in silence, looking down with dead eyes.
You knew better to talk to her.
She was sent to the back of the brothel’s house. In a hidden part of the brothel. S room was reserved just for her.
You didn’t really see her after she was sent there. But being the child you were, you were still naive. And you missed your mother.
You remember the first time you witnessed her going through her violent outbursts.
You had wondered to her little section of the house, you opened her door and waddled towards her.
You propped yourself up by your tiptoes and looked at her. Once her eyes met yours she glared, hard. Before she sat up and began yelling at you.
Her cruel and harsh words chased you out of her room. You ran to the mistress, only for her to continue smoking her pipe.
You tried a few other times to spend time with her, only for her to curse, scream, and yell at you.
You stopped going for a while, more focused on the next time you could head over to Haoyu’s shop.
One day, you came back from his shop. You became of the age where you could walk to his shop and back on your own.
The mistress stopped you before you ran off to your sister’s rooms. “You’ll have to stay here for a while, Y/N. Haoyu is heading out to deliver a package to a customer. He won’t be back until two weeks free m now.” She informs you.
You pout a bit but nod, running off.
You played with your sisters for a bit before a loud horn from outside pulled you all from your little play time.
You all looked out the window, imperial soldiers rolled through the town, they all held scrolls and helmets.
“Citizens of the red light district, we come bearing the remains of the soldiers that unfortunately fell during their time in the military!” One of the imperial guards called.
Next thing you all knew, you all heard footsteps running past your door. You all looked and saw your mother.
“Big sis!” “L/N!” Your sisters and the Mistress called after her. The mistress chased after her.
Her diseased riddled skin and messy hair caused everyone to turn to her. The other citizens gasped and stepped away from her, mothers grabbed their children, men and the soldiers staggered back.
Your mother breaths heavily before she begins screaming, “Lei Qiang, I know he’s here!”
“M-Ma’am-“ One of the soldiers tried to stop her but she cuts him off. “I KNOW HE’S HERE! WHERE IS HE?!” She screams.
The mistress walks up to her, grabbing her and trying to pull her back.
“Please! I need to know if he’s alive or not!” She screams reaching out to the carriage.
The soldiers look at each other before their commander gestures his head, the other one nods before heading to the carriage.
Your mother breaks free from the mistress and gasps, as she sees the soldier pull a helmet from the back of their carriage.
“This belonged to one of our soldiers, Lei Qiang.” He says, handing it to her. “We’re sorry ma’am, he was a good man.” He says.
Your mother’s eyes water before she falls to the ground, crying out and screaming in the streets as she clutches the helmet tightly to her chest.
You all watch, your sisters stand and head out to go comfort her. You only continue to stare.
You thought, the death of your father would bring you two closer, but she only gets even more violent.
You tried to go in her room to provide comfort, her response was screams as usual, but this time she grabbed the vase beside her bed and threw it at you as well. You thankfully dodged it, and ran away.
The objects would go flying, sometimes heavy book and other time glass that would decorate the floors. You would hideaway after she did this, waiting for Haoyu’s return.
Sometimes, she would close the door and chase you around her room, trying to harm you.
“He would’ve save me!” She screams as she chased you, you dodged her successfully and ran to the door, opening it and running out. “Now I’m left with you!” She yells as she watches you run away.
You never really learned your lesson…well you did, but she only retorted with the same response.
You remember the day it all came to a head.
You sat on the mistress’s lap as she gently combed through your hair.
It was late at night, and she decided it was time about time for you to go to bed. So she gently began to comb through your coils so they wouldn’t get all tangled by morning.
“You’re done, Y/N.” She murmurs to you, lifting you so she could set you down.
You’re ready to run away, but she stops you first. “Don’t go into L/N’s room, Y/N.” She scolds you.
“I’m serious.” She says, her eyes darkening as she grips your shoulder.
“Okay, granny.” You nod before running off.
Of course you didn’t listen, you wanted to see your mother. Wanted her comfort and to make sure she was okay.
You walked to her room, opening the door and stepping inside.
You look around, nothing but darkness greets you. It’s silent. There’s nothing on the bed but your father’s helmet. You hesitate before stepping inside, successfully avoiding the glass shards that decorate the floor.
You look down, making sure you successfully avoid the glass and step on the floor.
The sound of the door shutting makes you jump. You look back only to see your mother there. She stares into your eyes, glaring hard.
“Filthy child…” is all she says before she picks you up by the back of your shirt. She slams you against the floor before she grabs your face, holding you down to the floor.
She uses her body to push you down. She curses you under her breath and pushes her hand against your mouth so you couldn’t scream.
That had ended up, being the worst day of your life.
You remember the pain, the way she twisted and bent your ankles until they ached, how she grabbed her pillow off her bed and shoved it against your face, cutting off your airway and your ability to cry for help.
You remember how when she successfully bent your ankle out of place, she dragged you to the door, across the broken glass, before she threw you out her room.
You shake and cry softly against the floor, your legs pulled to your chest while your face lays in your arms.
It’s not until the next morning someone finds you, the mistress. She’s hysterical, asking what happened and holding you.
You only ask her to bring you to Haoyu’s shop.
She tries asking you what happened and how this could’ve happened, but you only respond how you wish to be with Haoyu.
She eventually takes you there, then leaves when you ask she does.
Haoyu’s return was busy, he tended to your wound while you leaned on him. You only asked that you stay with him.
He responds with what he told you all those years ago, but his smiles drops when he sees your eyes looking up at him with sincerity.
He sighs, before saying he’ll see what he could do. You both knew that house wasn’t safe, so he didn’t try and convince you.
He carved you a cane while you sleep. His hands shook as he gripped the knife and the cane.
He wished he hadn’t gone. Maybe if he did none of this would’ve happened. Maybe you wouldn’t be within his cramped home, seeking comfort you never knew back at the brothel.
He sighs heavily as he finished. He stands and puts it next to your bed, before he lays down next to you.
You instinctively scooted closer, seeking warmth and comfort. He holds you close so you don’t feel like you’re back home. Back in that awful house.
The mistress returns the next morning, she calls for you but Haoyu tells her to go back, that he’ll take care of you until the time was right.
They go back and forth, she says you belong to the brothel while he argues that the brothel nearly killed you.
She glares before she storms out.
Haoyu sighs, but turns his head when he hears you open the door and waddle over to him, grabbing at his yukata.
He smiles down at you before bending down to pat your head.
“We’ll be with each other for a while, Y/N.” He promises, leaning down to kiss yhe top of your coily crown.
You look up at him with a smile, before holding him close.
And he was right, you spent nearly 13 years with him. He grew older as you grew up. He saw you through the rest of your toddle years and teens to your early adulthood.
You saw him go through the rest of his late thirties and to his mid sixties, watched him have to make his own cane to steady himself.
You two took care of each other, and you finally knew happiness…
But all good things come to an end.
you were 17 when the mistress returned.
You woke up one day to see her, she was definitely older, she claimed it was about time to return to the brothel and become what you were always destined to be.
He tries to fight but sighs. “She comes back here during the weekends, also whenever I please.” He threatens, before he lets go of you.
You glance back as you’re dragged away. He only smiles weakly and softly.
A smiled that told you, you always had a second place to call home. That you always had somewhere to run away to. That you two would always be together, even when physically separated or distant.
You felt joy knowing that, but it was shortly lived as the mistress immediately began working on your makeup and hair. She dressed you elegantly and made sure you were gorgeous and pampered.
Then you were put up, out on the market for all that wanted to lust after you. You knew this would always be the outcome of your life, with being born in a brothel and from a worker…
But you still thought you would’ve had a choice.
But now you are subjected to the same cruel work as your mother.
And all you could do was stare down at your clasped hands as you gripped them and bit back your tongue from cursing at the disgusting pigs that wanted you.
Hopefully one day, you could be free. Maybe live with Haoyu or someone might save you…?
This is possibly around one of the longest things I’ve wrote, so please enjoy.
