New Post has been published on The Unprofessional Football League
New Post has been published on http://theupfl.com/2014/10/jay-cutler-finally-just-throws-towel/
Jay Cutler Finally Just Throws in the Towel
In an unsurprising turn of event from the Chicago Bears, it seems as if Jay Cutler may never get his breakout season, deeming his career as a whole, rather pointless.
Even the veteran quarterback thinks so himself. Year after year with game after game, Cutler has expressed to coaches and team staff his interest of just giving up and quitting. And now, finally, The Chicago Bears have decided to give up (on Cutler) too. Finally.
An announcement of Jay Cutler’s departure came from The Bears’ front office on Monday morning: “Given the stature of the quarterback position, it doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to keep him around any longer. We gave it a shot.”
[NO PRESS WAS AVAILABLE FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT, MAINLY BECAUSE THEY HAD NO QUESTION AS TO WHY CUTLER DECIDED TO HANG UP THE TOWEL]
We caught up with who we think might be security or custodial staff with the Bears’ front office. He had mentioned something about everyone leaving early for a “celebration/happy hour” and had asked him to “watch the phones.”
“Whatever that means, it’s only 11 o’clock in the morning, if they’re leavin’ I’m leavin’. I was just about to lock it up and head out to my own ‘celebration/happy hour’.”
Apparently the man on the phone, whoever it was, had no idea why the whole office left for the day at 11 in the morning.
“What do I think of the news about Cutler? Which news? Did he finally quit?! Please tell me he did!”
The call was lost shortly after a series of loud crashing noises and ‘hoo-haws!’ involving glass breaking and champagne bottles popping.
No word from Chicago on who will win the starting quarterback position. Naturally, Bears back-up quarterback Jimmy Clausen is fit for the job. But since news of Cutler giving up has spread pretty rapidly, Kyle Orton has already expressed interest.
“Yeah I’m gonna try out. If Jimmy Clausen can beat me to the spot, the job is all his,” Orton said at his home garage-recorded press conference. “Believe me, anyone other than that cry-baby-yahoo-what’s-his-name is a step in a better direction for the team and city of Chicago. So if Clausen gets it, Clausen gets it.
Orton went on to say in his e-mail that he felt comfortable after his successful first game with the Bills on Sunday and was confident he could continue that success in Buffalo while also putting up better numbers in Chicago than that cry-baby-yahoo-what’s-his-name.
So that leaves us in question of Orton’s future. Will he finally have his breakout season? Or two breakout seasons in one? Only time will tell. As for Jay Cutler’s future, anything but football.
Image via