To be honest, I miss my chick bestie. I'll never really admit it though because i'm too ashamed. I fucked up big time with the one person who would never go that far to hurt me. I can't say sorry because it won't make a difference now but I am. Like I say sorry a lot but this is the first time I have actually meant it. I am sorry for being such an inconsiderate bitch... for fucking over my closest friend and ruining everything. I let a guy come in between us and convince me to have sex with him. And this time it was my best friends ex.. the kid she is head over heels in love with. What was going through my head. I hate myself for that. I hate that I only thought of myself and revenge on someone who would do anything for me. Melissa has been there for me since day one and through all the fights she never gave up on me. She sat in the hospital with me, she stayed at my house for hours to make sure I didn't kill myself and was always a phone call away. And what do I do? Fuck it all up. I don't blame her for never forgiving me and not speaking to me. But it's time I do say i'm sorry because it was complete bullshit for me to do that to someone that close to me and I regret it so much. Everyday I think to myself how much of a fucked up thing I did. I should have never hung out with Mike or let him drive me home. You know, Moms are right when they say guys only want one thing. This time I can't run from my problems though because Melissa still means the world to me. She's always going too. Every memory will always be there no matter what. I never admit to fucking up but I did, big time. And whether or not she reads this I am sorry. I don't expect a word back. It just sucks when you know that no one understands everything besides that one person and she's that person. I can have a billion friends but none of them will understand everything like she has. Nothing will ever compare to all the things she has done for me and given me.. No excuses this time though, no more avoiding the situation. I fucked up. And it's time I just face it.
Also, I just want to wish you good luck with everything, college, boyfriends, friends, family, etc. You'll get far.. don't stress too much and remember to stay positive.