I’ve finally read the last chapter of the manga, and it was just, it was beautiful.
Incoherent ramblings abound. I felt a bit sad when I read someone post sorry to chihayafuru fans because they were put through an ichiruki situation, because i have always thought there was no such thing as a fated love in Chihayafuru. (Also this is ironic, because while I slightly preferred ichiruki, no way would I say that ichihime was farfetched, in the same way that there is absolutely no way taichihaya was farfetched considering the development, and again ironic because both chihaya and taichi have the sun and moon motif so they actually healed my heartbroken ichiruki heart, but I digress -)
Anyway, I need to process my words. When I say there was no such thing as fated love, I mean that as much as I loved taichihaya, if Chihaya and Arata ended up together, I wouldn’t say that there was no basis. There was such a thing as fated friendship between our trio, but unlike other shoujo manga I’ve read, I wouldn’t consider either Taichi or Arata as Chihaya’s soul mate (I consider the three of them soul mates). Other people have shed insights about how Chihayafuru is a story of transience and youth, and I think the finale maintained that theme until the end (like Arata’s joke for example about wanting to be with Chihaya at 28, as he said the future isn’t set in stone).
What I loved about the ending is how it was a culmination of everything they were passionate about and fighting against. For Arata and Chihaya who were passionate about Karuta, and for Arata fighting against or for what his Grandfather means in the Karuta he plays now, for Chihaya growing up to be more sensitive to the world outside of Karuta (her wonderful conversation with Retro comes to mind, as well as her gaining a new dream in becoming a teacher). In the same way that this story was all about passion, and for Arata and Chihaya for that passion to be directed towards Karuta, I find that there’s nothing wrong with Taichi’s passion to have been directed at another person - specifically - Chihaya, even as he was fighting against himself.
I loved the finale, because it showed how much the people around Arata and Chihaya, specifically the people who had nothing to do with Karuta, like Arata’s childhood friend and Chihaya’s older sister impacted them and meant so much to them winning.
As a taichihaya shipper, I really loved the finale because it shows that it’s not just Taichi’s nearness that caused Chihaya to love him back, but at the same time it was him going far away that really puts things into perspective for her. It was just so Chihaya to confess even when she thought that Taichi had already lost his feelings for her. In others words, even if Taichi no longer loved her romantically, his confession impacted her that much that she had to answer it with a poem of her own.
I love taichihaya not because I was sure it would be canon, but because I just really preferred it, and these are just some of the reasons.
1. the parallels with harada sensei and his wife, as well as kana-chan and komano
I love parallels, ok? The parallel with harada sensei and his wife actually works two ways, harada sensei paralleling Taichi with the latter also becoming a doctor in the future, and both Chihaya and harada sensei’s wife saying all they wanted was to see their important person smile. It also works the other way around in that both harada sensei’s wife and taichi steadfastly supported their loved one’s drive to become the meijin and queen respectively.
kana-chan, our beloved taichihaya ship captain. I still remember how she compared chihaya and taichi’s match with her match with komano, and how they were each pair’s best matches precisely because of how well they knew the person they were facing. the irony and not of how it was these two who finally managed to push chihaya and taichi to get together.
2. the heartaches of love
I love how they each exemplified the highs and lows of love. How Chihaya showed how love could be greedy, in Hanano’s words, and how their experience was reflective of Taichi’s comment about love in the beginning of the series, about how love was painful but you still wanted to be with the other person.
How it showed from the very beginning that even if Chihaya wasn’t fully conscious of it, she had always been jealous of the girls around Taichi, first with his girlfriend, and even in the last chapter when Taichi mentioned Hanano.
I always mentioned this, even after the angsty confession and break-up (?). Chihaya relies on Taichi like no other. To be honest, they were practically co-dependent. Which is another reason why I loved why everything played out the way it did. Chihaya’s crush on Arata always seemed easy in that it didn’t seem as if she wanted it reciprocated (a happy crush mixed with admiration), meanwhile Taichi needed to confess to have Chihaya reevaluate what he meant to her and how she was supposed to relate to him.
And yet I’m so happy they made up first, Taichi was finally at peace with himself, and even chose to go somewhere for himself, even if it meant being physically apart from Chihaya.
It shows that Chihaya’s confession was not out of fear that she had to reciprocate to keep Taichi by her side like she wanted because Taichi had reassured her that their friendship along with Arata would remain strong even if she didn’t reciprocate. In other words, their friendship would remain the same, but it was now Chihaya who realized she wanted more.
3. spending your whole youth on it
Taichi’s conversation with Harada-sensei about wasted youth was both about Karuta and Chihaya, and yet despite his fears, he still kept working hard, still kept trying to reach out for the Chiha card.
The confession and Taichi’s behavior throughout the entire series always screamed to me about how self-sabotaging he really was. He is the one to bring Arata up during his confession. He never acts in a way to get Chihaya to like him because he was already sure that Chihaya loved Arata.
And despite all that, despite all his fears, in the same way he was sure that he no longer had any luck in the draw, in the same way he was sure that he had no chance with Chihaya, he still loved her anyway, still supported her the best that he could. Wasted effort but one that he no longer considered wasted even if Chihaya never loved him back because he was finally at peace with himself. But of course, he was overjoyed when she said she loved him, because as he said, he would always be helplessly in love with her.
I’ve always thought that in the same way throughout the story Taichi thought Chihaya didn’t notice him, it was also about Taichi never noticing how much Chihaya noticed him (the towel scene is really symbolic of this). It’s quite ironic how Taichi considers Chihaya dense, when he’s also a bit dense when it comes to Chihaya.
4. how taichihaya might as well be self-fulfillment for ariwara no narihira and the empress
listen, listen, brilliant people who are more well-versed in poetry have pointed out the parallels between narihira, the empress, the emperor and taichi, chihaya, and arata. It was pretty on the nose with how narihira was even drawn to look a bit like taichi, and now chihaya and arata are the queen and meijin respectively.
with how shinobu pointed out that the chiha and tachi cards were always paired together, nothing will now stop me from imagining chihaya and taichi as the empress and narihira who were reincarnated and can now be together.
I just really loved them, even way back in the beginning when I was just watching the anime. I was prepared for heartache, but even then, it wouldn’t diminish what they went through, so to have that last chapter is really heartwarming. I’ll probably be rambling more about Chihayafuru once I reread everything. Thank you for these past ten years Sueguetsu-sensei!
the period of time that suo and taichi spend playing karuta together, as well as spending a lot of their non-karuta time together, is genuinely fascinating to me. while i love so many of the relationships and dynamics in chihayafuru, suo and taichi’s is without a doubt my favorite in the series.
they come from very different backgrounds (with regards to class, location, family, how they’re perceived socially, etc.). they are almost diametrically opposed within the karuta world, too—suo is a five-time meijin, a genius to whom karuta came naturally, whereas taichi continually struggles with being unable to catch up with chihaya, arata, and the other players around him. even with these differences, it’s the striking amount of qualities that they share, both positive and negative, that allow them to form one of the most unlikely yet deep connections in the story.
while suo initially comes into taichi’s life in a sort of mentor/teacher role, imo calling their dynamic strictly a mentorship would be reductive. setting aside their in-text denial and/or acceptance of the nature of their relationship (truthfully, i don’t think either of them fully knows what to call it LMAO), their relationship actually subverts the typical mentor/disciple dynamic. their innate similarities, as well as their ability to see through each other’s pretenses, allow them to reach an equal ground that you wouldn’t expect. taichi is able to reciprocate the way that suo invested in him, making just as much of an impact on suo and helping him accept himself in turn.
what gets me the most about their dynamic is that taichi, a person who spends so much time trying to escape himself and disguise his shortcomings, is able to be the most real version of himself around suo. the caveat to this statement is that, yes, taichi has pretty much hit rock bottom when he starts spending time with suo… but that rock bottom version of taichi is a part of the real him, and it’s suo’s understanding and acceptance of that part of him that even allows taichi to start playing karuta again, albeit with a new and arguably disingenuous playstyle. getting rejected by chihaya sent taichi into a self-destructive freefall which starts with quitting the karuta club, torpedoing his friendship with chihaya, and throwing himself into his studies. he is absolutely Doing Bad, and he has deeper reasons for believing that he hates karuta, but i’ll get to that in a second.
while most of the emphasis initially is placed on suo becoming taichi’s new light house, suo is also not at a good place in life. he’s very aware of his retinal disease (it’s the reason he hasn’t visited his family in eight years), and he’s fallen into a very nihilistic mindset. while that mindset of letting everything go and not caring is what allows him to demolish his opponents in karuta, it’s something that he’s allowed to seep into his personal life as well. he’s terrified of not making anything meaningful of his life, about not being able to become an outstanding person or someone to be admired; his solution is to project an attitude of total apathy. if he pretends that his goals and pursuits don’t really matter, he won’t have to think about what it would mean to lose them. with his worsening eyesight and losing the ability to play karuta looming on the horizon, he avoids the future at every turn.
textually he’s in his eighth year of college because of a german class that he can’t pass, but i’d argue that his avoidance of graduating is also by choice. college is comfortable, routine, and allows suo to stall his future in a tangible way. he also plans to retire after his fifth meijin win because he “doesn’t like karuta,” and he would’ve if arata hadn’t begged him not to. because again, it’s easier for him to not care—and there’s no better way to demonstrate not caring than to preemptively quit. his inclination was to quit while he was ahead (and before his eyesight got any worse), rather than confront the pain of potentially losing his title that he actually did value.
this is broadly speaking the set-up we’ve been given for suo and taichi before their paths cross in a meaningful way. it’s not difficult to notice that there are a ton of parallels between them, but the first one that’s acknowledged by the characters themselves is that suo and taichi both “hate karuta.” it occurs in chapter 141, when taichi follows suo after running into him at dinner. suo tells him that he thought taichi was admirable for pursuing karuta around people who were so passionate about it, even though taichi didn’t share that love.
this is a very loaded scene to tackle, because neither taichi or suo actually hate karuta. this is explicitly revealed when taichi loses in the challenger match and during the meijin matches for suo, but that doesn’t render this entire scene a falsehood. in fact, taichi’s strong emotional reaction to suo’s words (he cries and then chases after him) conveys that suo was 100% on the mark in understanding taichi’s feelings, despite their limited interactions up to that point.
the key to understanding what taichi “hating karuta” actually means is in the same chapter. he reflects back on harada’s words about spending his entire youth on karuta. this comes after suo’s lecture on words holding power, and taichi decides that harada’s words, which had motivated him for so long, have become a “curse.” in this moment where he’s hit rock bottom, taichi believes that harada’s words trapped him into a futile pursuit of karuta. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that taichi was miserable for the two years he was in the karuta club; those times were absolutely precious to him, even if it’s hard for him to see that in his post-rejection depressive spiral.
rather, the reason taichi ended up seeing karuta as a “cursed” was because he felt he lacked the passion that everyone else, particularly chihaya and arata, innately had for karuta. he didn’t actually lack this passion, or else literally most of his actions in the story wouldn’t have happened. but imo taichi, who is normally incredibly self-aware, has a huge blindspot: he prioritizes others’ needs and dreams ahead of his own, which he does realize, but he doesn’t recognize how that causes him to unconsciously strip his own dreams of their value.
it’s a bit of a cyclical problem: because he doesn’t think his own goals matter, he has to push himself to prioritize them. but because it doesn’t come naturally to prioritize himself, he sells himself short and assumes that he must not want to win as badly as everyone else. especially since his two best friends have been so single-mindedly committed to karuta (and more skilled than him) since they were kids, taichi undermines his own love for karuta and then feels isolated by that self-perception.
this is where suo comes in and helps taichi make a breakthrough with some well-intentioned nihilism. there’s a lot of nuance to suo and taichi’s relationship in general, but particularly in the way that they meet. suo and taichi truly meet when they’re both in a toxic and dark place, and you could argue that they enable each other to both lean into that darkness or toxicity—and hear me out, they do, but it’s in a way that ultimately impacts them both for the better. even though they both experience a lot of joy and mutual understanding in their time spent together, it’s through being at their worst together that they’re able to move forward at all.
as much as suo is regarded as taichi’s mentor and teacher, he is far from a wise sage teaching taichi the ways of the world. for one thing, that is really overselling suo’s grasp on being a functional person—he has just as many toxic coping mechanisms as taichi, if not more. second, that is overselling how much suo taught or influenced taichi.
coming back to their first substantial conversation in chapter 141, suo doesn’t actually tell taichi anything new. it was all beliefs that taichi already held about himself, but refused to admit about his own self-perception. he already had internalized that he didn’t love karuta like the people around him, he already was predisposed to preferring to give up and not care rather than potentially fail, he already felt different and unable to go on playing karuta the way that he was.
therefore, what actually happens in this scene is that suo immediately clocks these insecurities that taichi prefers to not think about, and he voices them. he sees taichi and the secret he’s tried to hide from his friends—that he doesn’t love karuta like they do—with startling clarity. and then suo accepts that about him. what’s more, he tells taichi that that’s okay, because he’s the same: he also doesn’t like karuta. this accomplishes a few purposes narratively.
at his absolute worst, taichi is seen for exactly who he is, the most real and undisguised version of himself (again, this is complicated by the fact that taichi and suo both loved karuta all along, but in the moment suo is exactly on the mark about how taichi views himself, regardless of what becomes of those beliefs later), and he receives acceptance. taichi spends so much of the story wishing to be someone else, anyone else, because escaping himself—becoming someone else entirely who doesn’t have his flaws—sounds easier than overcoming those obstacles. but as taichi grows, he develops a desire to strive for self-improvement and becoming the best version of himself. in chapter 108 he expresses this: he doesn’t want to be a coward anymore, but he also doesn’t want to run from the person he is.
thus, the acceptance that taichi receives from suo is a huge step on that winding path towards accepting himself. for someone to immediately see through his carefully constructed facade down to the very core of who he is—not to mention, to be told that suo finds him admirable—is distressing and shocking to taichi. however, it also serves as a breakthrough for him. this isn’t the first time taichi has dropped his pretenses around suo, either—earlier on when he lied about being chihaya’s boyfriend, he felt compelled to come clean about it the next time he saw suo. we get the sense that for whatever reason, taichi feels like he can be an honest version of himself around suo (this is huge for a character like taichi), and that suo admires taichi’s ability to let his guard down around him.
the second purpose this scene on the staircase serves is that, after acknowledging and accepting taichi at his worst, suo tells him that they’re the same. after finding this out, taichi looks up at suo in awe; even though suo also dislikes karuta, he’s “invincible on the tatami.” up to this moment, taichi’s image of a good karuta player was someone who loved it immeasurably. he’s never been presented with a different type of player. what’s more, he’s never considered that someone like him could reach the meijin’s level. that, when all is said and done, is what held taichi back, more than any perceived lack of skill. that’s the reason he’s able to go back to karuta training with suo. their huge gap in skill doesn’t deter taichi; what matters is that they both feel no passion for karuta, and with that commonality, taichi no longer thinks it’s impossible to reach suo’s level.
the period of time where suo and taichi train together is tricky to break down because, even during taichi’s self-proclaimed villain arc which is spurred on by suo’s nihilistic tendencies, taichi experiences a lot of growth and does reach a better place—just not in the way you’d expect. he grows in a nonlinear way, almost getting way worse before he can get better.
the visual emphasis on darkness and light in suo and taichi’s dynamic extends to the narrative as well. their relationship and how they behave around each seems self-contradictory, paradoxical in nature. through a shared “apathy,” they play karuta together for hours, for days, for weeks at a time. taichi reflects on how he assumed being by suo’s side would feel painful due to his genius, but again, the ways that they’re similar make taichi feel more at home than ever before. even if it’s only with the intention to mess with the other players, it’s in large part due to his practice with suo that taichi is able to become the eastern representative at all. in a twisted way, obfuscated by the pretense that they both don’t care about karuta, suo is the reason taichi is able to fall in love with karuta again (and later, taichi bringing suo’s family to the meijin match is a catalyst for suo to do the same).
during one of their practice matches in chapter 150, taichi thinks to himself “now that i’ve separated myself from the team, now that i’m alone and on my own, for the first time in my life i’m actually having fun playing karuta.” this line is pretty layered, but ultimately i do think that taichi is being sincere here. the line about leaving the team is evidence of him still working through a lot of his insecurities. obviously, he loved chihaya and the karuta team a lot and is trying to stomp out the pain that situation caused him by pretending he always hated it.
even so, taichi genuinely enjoys playing suo or else he wouldn’t be there. in fact, at this point in the story taichi has inaccurately internalized that he only pretended to love karuta in order to stay by chihaya’s side. if that was true, nothing would’ve been able to bring him back to karuta after he was rejected and quit the karuta club.
imo, suo also wouldn’t waste his time playing against taichi if he didn’t truly want to. he’s drawn to seek out taichi in part because he also hones in on their similarities. even more, suo has a reputation for making other players hate karuta, leaving him with very few people that want to play against him consistently. since taichi also “hates karuta” like him, losing against suo doesn’t deter taichi; he can’t grow to hate something that he already doesn’t care about. this ends up being incredibly freeing for taichi.
in fact, earlier in chapter 150, hyoro thinks as he’s playing against chihaya during nationals, “come back, mashima. i’m lonely. being by the talent’s side is so painful”—but that doesn’t appear to be a feeling that taichi shares. in direct juxtaposition, the next page has taichi reflecting that he “thought being by meijin suo’s side would be more painful,” with the implication that he hasn’t found his time with suo to be painful at all. it’s clear from their playful banter, from taichi’s relaxed, open body language around suo, from the ease with which they ask each other personal questions (and then never answer them). even though taichi constantly loses against suo, he genuinely wants to be there with him. this is actually huge for a character like taichi, who will avoid losing at any cost. taichi’s uphill karuta battle against suo just doesn’t seem to phase him at all, because again, regardless of their gap in skill, their similarities and shared lack of passion have given taichi all the hope and satisfaction he needs to keep playing right now.
that’s ultimately the point i’m working toward with regards to the paradoxical nature of suo and taichi’s relationship: even though their deep bond is forged through apathy, through pretending to not care, through reveling in the worst parts of each other—they still find immense understanding in each other, and a lot of happiness and joy in playing karuta together.
as i was writing this, i actually thought of something i’ve heard in therapy a lot: it’s unhealthy to continually lie to yourself about your own emotions. it’s a lot healthier to let yourself be honest and feel what you feel, even your most negative emotions—and that’s what i think suo gives taichi the space to do in this arc. although taichi (and eventually suo) both come around to acknowledging that they do love karuta, in his post-rejection depressive spiral it was actually very important for taichi to let himself feel his feelings, especially when it came to karuta. he had formed such a complex about his self-efficacy, hinging his worth on whether he won or lost, but imo he never really let himself acknowledge those darker feelings because the people around him loved karuta wholeheartedly.
in the time taichi spends with suo, the unconditional acceptance that suo gives him is what frees taichi to start being a more honest version of himself. truthfully, if taichi hadn’t encountered suo and started playing with him, i doubt he would’ve started playing karuta again at all, at least not in high school. even if his villain era contained its own falsehoods and missteps, it was still an important step. this mindset was crucial for taichi to work through so that when he did come back to loving karuta and holding it dear, it wasn’t something that he forced himself to do. it was a conclusion he came to on his own, because he truly does love karuta and always has—but he was only able to reach this point because he played alongside suo. alongside someone who didn’t trigger his self-imposed inadequacies about not caring enough, or constantly make him feel that he wasn’t passionate enough. taichi ends up finding a karuta that isn’t solely harada’s, nor is it just a copy of suo’s nasty style; it’s taichi’s most authentic karuta, the honest version of himself that he always hoped to grow up to be.
writing this is making me emotional LMAO but it’s really reaffirmed to me how, as convoluted as their dynamic is, as much as suo and taichi sidestep around what they really feel and communicate in very guarded ways, the bond that they form is so unconditional. they understand each other for exactly what they are, and they push each other to be more truthful—but they also let each other exist in that bitterness, that indifference when they both need to. they hear each other in the quiet, and they live in the same shadows, and it’s that quiet understanding that lets them pull each other towards light.
taichi felt like suo could see the darker parts of his personality, his flaws and insecurities, and still accept them. taichi could play a karuta with suo where he didn’t feel like he had to be more like the people around him. through this experience, taichi was able to admit to himself that he did love karuta after all. furthermore, because suo helped taichi reach this realization himself, taichi was able to help suo come to the same realization.
a lot of why their relationship is so powerful, and why they’re able to impact each other so profoundly, is because taichi and suo both loved karuta so much all along, but they didn’t, but they did. even though they played karuta together under the pretense that they both didn’t like karuta, they did. that’s why that time they spend playing together, in spite of its blatant nihilism and mutual toxicity, feels like a genuinely happy and special time that they share.
while i selfishly would’ve loved to get one last scene between them in the final chapter of the manga, there’s actually something incredibly poignant to me in the way they don’t speak. taichi never gets the chance to plainly tell suo that he in a way saved taichi, as dramatic as that sounds; suo never gets to thank taichi for bringing his family to the meijin match, for giving suo just as much as suo gave to him. i love that this final cathartic moment is left entirely unspoken, because it’s so true to them.
i also love how utterly selfless this lack of a final scene renders their relationship as a whole. suo, who never seemed to care about much of anything, invested so greatly in taichi that he was able to become a karuta player who could challenge arata; taichi, who struggled with acting selflessly and then resenting when he didn’t get anything in return, goes to nagasaki behind suo’s back because he knows suo wants to see his family. the fact that there’s no “thank you,” no direct acknowledgment of these acts (particularly in taichi’s case) is incredibly powerful to me. in chapter 150, we learn that taichi said, “he can now hear suo-san’s quiet voice loud and clear”—and to me, these selfless acts of quiet care between them, an unspoken and understated connection, truly exemplify that idea.
suo and taichi absolutely hold the time they spent playing karuta together—their convoluted mentor/disciple dynamic—as dear, regardless of how they act like it doesn’t matter. it takes a long time before they can acknowledge that karuta, and by extension the time they spend playing together, meant a lot to both of them. they went through their worst together, but they absolutely changed each other for the better.
Welcome to my first Chihayafuru analysis essay? Think piece? Dellusional rant? Idk you decide what this is lmao.
It’s actually wild to think
@maci-brainrot messaged me after reading this and made a great point:
The Hakama scene number 2 happened after 173, I wonder if the reason Arata was holding back and feeling like he couldn’t say everything to her, or was self conscious, is because he had been soft rejected.
I definitely considered this to be part of the reason too!!
For those who don’t remember 173 was the chapter where Chihaya told Arata that she would be working on her goals to be Queen. I always understood this scene as a soft rejection even though Chiharata fans took this scene as Chihaya saying she would let him know how she felt after becoming queen (thereby I understand their outrage that Chihaya never… readdressed his feelings in a more formal manner).
However since that scene was… really intended to be a soft rejection (Suetsugu made a tweet about it but then quickly deleted it when fans got even more upset lmao). This moment should have given people a bit of a clue that even Arata himself had taken what Chihaya had said as a soft rejection. It would explain his hesitation and how he was unable to say the right words to her. I wouldn’t know what to say either tbh.
Like Chihaya caught him staring at her and then he was like oh shit what do I do? What do I say to explain the way I am looking at her still.
I also think partly he saw the way that she looked back at him. They were on different wave lengths. He had love in his eyes and Chihaya was like “wtf is happening rn”.
Either way, Arata knew it was neither the time or the place for to voice his feelings and he understood that. We can still respect a king who respects a girl’s boundaries.
