An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: ちはやふる | Chihayafuru (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Mashima Taichi/Suou Hisashi
Characters: Mashima Taichi, Suou Hisashi, Suou Masashi
Additional Tags: Camping, Wilderness, Nature, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Hiking, Future Fic, Post-Canon
Summary:
Growing up, the only camping that Taichi’s mother allowed seemed only loosely related to the word. She preferred hotel rooms and cabins in scenic locations, not the grit and grime of the outdoors. Taichi had never built a fire or put up a tent or struggled with a tarp when the weather turned sour. He’s afraid he won’t be good at it. His hiking boots are almost new, though he’s been wearing them around campus for a few weeks now since he read that new boots can be more hindrance than help if they’re not broken in.
Still, he’s glad. He’s glad to be meeting Suo in Nagasaki and not dragging him there, though it would have been nice to have the company even for the short trip. He’s glad Suo asked.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Title: Moon Path
Summary:
Suou could be surprisingly tactile sometimes, but hugging was a first.
Taichi gave a short, nervous chuckle and awkwardly put his own arms around Suou’s waist. “Thank you, Suou-san.”
And then, Suou moved his head, and lightly pressed his lips not on Taichi’s cheek, not on his mouth, but right on the corner of Taichi’s lips.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Fandom: ちはやふる | Chihayafuru (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Mashima Taichi/Suou Hisashi, Mashima Taichi & Suou Hisashi
Characters: Suou Hisashi, Mashima Taichi
Additional Tags: Sickfic, Missing Scene, One-Sided Attraction, Character Study, in which taichi's 18 card loss hit him so hard he caught a cold, Unresolved Sexual Tension, and oh boy will it never be resolved
Series: Part 9 of i don't like karuta either
Summary:
“Suo-san?” he asks. How did you find my house would be a logical next thought, but despite a sharp breath in, more questions don’t follow. Taichi exhales, shakily, maybe deciding that any response Suo could provide wouldn’t answer his real question.
--
Taichi loses to Arata at the Meijin qualifier. Suo pays him a visit.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: ちはやふる | Chihayafuru (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Mashima Taichi/Suou Hisashi
Characters: Mashima Taichi, Suou Hisashi
Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Birthday Sex, Food Kink, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Post-Canon, Birthday Cake, there's a little bit of plot but mostly they just fuck nasty........
Summary:
“Can I have my present now?”
“The cake is your present,” Suo says. His uninterested tone of voice is mismatched with his deft fingers. He leans toward Taichi, and he teases down his zipper. “Did you have something else in mind?”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: ちはやふる | Chihayafuru (Anime & Manga)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Mashima Taichi/Suou Hisashi, Mashima Taichi/Wataya Arata (background), Wataya Arata & Suou Hisashi
Characters: Suou Hisashi, Mashima Taichi, Wataya Arata
Additional Tags: Camping, Skinny Dipping, Emotional Baggage, Post-Canon, Character Study, definitely the most polyamorous suotai fic i ever could've written, also the most arataichi-focused suotai fic i could've written, over 10k means there is something for Everyone, Year of the OTP Prompt Event 2023
Series: Part 7 of i don't like karuta either
Summary:
"You shouldn't have bothered inviting me," Taichi says, squatting down and arranging the firewood until it looks right.
He hopes no one hears, he hopes that Suo will hear—and maybe ask him if he's okay, so he can respond I'm fine, I'm fine a few times, until he's sure Suo cares to know the real answer. Arata probably hears him, too, but he's a natural at being the bigger person. He bends down and drives the last point of their tent into the earth. Taichi winces every time his hammer connects with the stake.
--
Suo agrees to take Arata camping. Taichi comes along.
(july entry for @yearoftheotpevent, prompt: vacation together)
the period of time that suo and taichi spend playing karuta together, as well as spending a lot of their non-karuta time together, is genuinely fascinating to me. while i love so many of the relationships and dynamics in chihayafuru, suo and taichi’s is without a doubt my favorite in the series.
they come from very different backgrounds (with regards to class, location, family, how they’re perceived socially, etc.). they are almost diametrically opposed within the karuta world, too—suo is a five-time meijin, a genius to whom karuta came naturally, whereas taichi continually struggles with being unable to catch up with chihaya, arata, and the other players around him. even with these differences, it’s the striking amount of qualities that they share, both positive and negative, that allow them to form one of the most unlikely yet deep connections in the story.
while suo initially comes into taichi’s life in a sort of mentor/teacher role, imo calling their dynamic strictly a mentorship would be reductive. setting aside their in-text denial and/or acceptance of the nature of their relationship (truthfully, i don’t think either of them fully knows what to call it LMAO), their relationship actually subverts the typical mentor/disciple dynamic. their innate similarities, as well as their ability to see through each other’s pretenses, allow them to reach an equal ground that you wouldn’t expect. taichi is able to reciprocate the way that suo invested in him, making just as much of an impact on suo and helping him accept himself in turn.
what gets me the most about their dynamic is that taichi, a person who spends so much time trying to escape himself and disguise his shortcomings, is able to be the most real version of himself around suo. the caveat to this statement is that, yes, taichi has pretty much hit rock bottom when he starts spending time with suo… but that rock bottom version of taichi is a part of the real him, and it’s suo’s understanding and acceptance of that part of him that even allows taichi to start playing karuta again, albeit with a new and arguably disingenuous playstyle. getting rejected by chihaya sent taichi into a self-destructive freefall which starts with quitting the karuta club, torpedoing his friendship with chihaya, and throwing himself into his studies. he is absolutely Doing Bad, and he has deeper reasons for believing that he hates karuta, but i’ll get to that in a second.
while most of the emphasis initially is placed on suo becoming taichi’s new light house, suo is also not at a good place in life. he’s very aware of his retinal disease (it’s the reason he hasn’t visited his family in eight years), and he’s fallen into a very nihilistic mindset. while that mindset of letting everything go and not caring is what allows him to demolish his opponents in karuta, it’s something that he’s allowed to seep into his personal life as well. he’s terrified of not making anything meaningful of his life, about not being able to become an outstanding person or someone to be admired; his solution is to project an attitude of total apathy. if he pretends that his goals and pursuits don’t really matter, he won’t have to think about what it would mean to lose them. with his worsening eyesight and losing the ability to play karuta looming on the horizon, he avoids the future at every turn.
textually he’s in his eighth year of college because of a german class that he can’t pass, but i’d argue that his avoidance of graduating is also by choice. college is comfortable, routine, and allows suo to stall his future in a tangible way. he also plans to retire after his fifth meijin win because he “doesn’t like karuta,” and he would’ve if arata hadn’t begged him not to. because again, it’s easier for him to not care—and there’s no better way to demonstrate not caring than to preemptively quit. his inclination was to quit while he was ahead (and before his eyesight got any worse), rather than confront the pain of potentially losing his title that he actually did value.
this is broadly speaking the set-up we’ve been given for suo and taichi before their paths cross in a meaningful way. it’s not difficult to notice that there are a ton of parallels between them, but the first one that’s acknowledged by the characters themselves is that suo and taichi both “hate karuta.” it occurs in chapter 141, when taichi follows suo after running into him at dinner. suo tells him that he thought taichi was admirable for pursuing karuta around people who were so passionate about it, even though taichi didn’t share that love.
this is a very loaded scene to tackle, because neither taichi or suo actually hate karuta. this is explicitly revealed when taichi loses in the challenger match and during the meijin matches for suo, but that doesn’t render this entire scene a falsehood. in fact, taichi’s strong emotional reaction to suo’s words (he cries and then chases after him) conveys that suo was 100% on the mark in understanding taichi’s feelings, despite their limited interactions up to that point.
the key to understanding what taichi “hating karuta” actually means is in the same chapter. he reflects back on harada’s words about spending his entire youth on karuta. this comes after suo’s lecture on words holding power, and taichi decides that harada’s words, which had motivated him for so long, have become a “curse.” in this moment where he’s hit rock bottom, taichi believes that harada’s words trapped him into a futile pursuit of karuta. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that taichi was miserable for the two years he was in the karuta club; those times were absolutely precious to him, even if it’s hard for him to see that in his post-rejection depressive spiral.
rather, the reason taichi ended up seeing karuta as a “cursed” was because he felt he lacked the passion that everyone else, particularly chihaya and arata, innately had for karuta. he didn’t actually lack this passion, or else literally most of his actions in the story wouldn’t have happened. but imo taichi, who is normally incredibly self-aware, has a huge blindspot: he prioritizes others’ needs and dreams ahead of his own, which he does realize, but he doesn’t recognize how that causes him to unconsciously strip his own dreams of their value.
it’s a bit of a cyclical problem: because he doesn’t think his own goals matter, he has to push himself to prioritize them. but because it doesn’t come naturally to prioritize himself, he sells himself short and assumes that he must not want to win as badly as everyone else. especially since his two best friends have been so single-mindedly committed to karuta (and more skilled than him) since they were kids, taichi undermines his own love for karuta and then feels isolated by that self-perception.
this is where suo comes in and helps taichi make a breakthrough with some well-intentioned nihilism. there’s a lot of nuance to suo and taichi’s relationship in general, but particularly in the way that they meet. suo and taichi truly meet when they’re both in a toxic and dark place, and you could argue that they enable each other to both lean into that darkness or toxicity—and hear me out, they do, but it’s in a way that ultimately impacts them both for the better. even though they both experience a lot of joy and mutual understanding in their time spent together, it’s through being at their worst together that they’re able to move forward at all.
as much as suo is regarded as taichi’s mentor and teacher, he is far from a wise sage teaching taichi the ways of the world. for one thing, that is really overselling suo’s grasp on being a functional person—he has just as many toxic coping mechanisms as taichi, if not more. second, that is overselling how much suo taught or influenced taichi.
coming back to their first substantial conversation in chapter 141, suo doesn’t actually tell taichi anything new. it was all beliefs that taichi already held about himself, but refused to admit about his own self-perception. he already had internalized that he didn’t love karuta like the people around him, he already was predisposed to preferring to give up and not care rather than potentially fail, he already felt different and unable to go on playing karuta the way that he was.
therefore, what actually happens in this scene is that suo immediately clocks these insecurities that taichi prefers to not think about, and he voices them. he sees taichi and the secret he’s tried to hide from his friends—that he doesn’t love karuta like they do—with startling clarity. and then suo accepts that about him. what’s more, he tells taichi that that’s okay, because he’s the same: he also doesn’t like karuta. this accomplishes a few purposes narratively.
at his absolute worst, taichi is seen for exactly who he is, the most real and undisguised version of himself (again, this is complicated by the fact that taichi and suo both loved karuta all along, but in the moment suo is exactly on the mark about how taichi views himself, regardless of what becomes of those beliefs later), and he receives acceptance. taichi spends so much of the story wishing to be someone else, anyone else, because escaping himself—becoming someone else entirely who doesn’t have his flaws—sounds easier than overcoming those obstacles. but as taichi grows, he develops a desire to strive for self-improvement and becoming the best version of himself. in chapter 108 he expresses this: he doesn’t want to be a coward anymore, but he also doesn’t want to run from the person he is.
thus, the acceptance that taichi receives from suo is a huge step on that winding path towards accepting himself. for someone to immediately see through his carefully constructed facade down to the very core of who he is—not to mention, to be told that suo finds him admirable—is distressing and shocking to taichi. however, it also serves as a breakthrough for him. this isn’t the first time taichi has dropped his pretenses around suo, either—earlier on when he lied about being chihaya’s boyfriend, he felt compelled to come clean about it the next time he saw suo. we get the sense that for whatever reason, taichi feels like he can be an honest version of himself around suo (this is huge for a character like taichi), and that suo admires taichi’s ability to let his guard down around him.
the second purpose this scene on the staircase serves is that, after acknowledging and accepting taichi at his worst, suo tells him that they’re the same. after finding this out, taichi looks up at suo in awe; even though suo also dislikes karuta, he’s “invincible on the tatami.” up to this moment, taichi’s image of a good karuta player was someone who loved it immeasurably. he’s never been presented with a different type of player. what’s more, he’s never considered that someone like him could reach the meijin’s level. that, when all is said and done, is what held taichi back, more than any perceived lack of skill. that’s the reason he’s able to go back to karuta training with suo. their huge gap in skill doesn’t deter taichi; what matters is that they both feel no passion for karuta, and with that commonality, taichi no longer thinks it’s impossible to reach suo’s level.
the period of time where suo and taichi train together is tricky to break down because, even during taichi’s self-proclaimed villain arc which is spurred on by suo’s nihilistic tendencies, taichi experiences a lot of growth and does reach a better place—just not in the way you’d expect. he grows in a nonlinear way, almost getting way worse before he can get better.
the visual emphasis on darkness and light in suo and taichi’s dynamic extends to the narrative as well. their relationship and how they behave around each seems self-contradictory, paradoxical in nature. through a shared “apathy,” they play karuta together for hours, for days, for weeks at a time. taichi reflects on how he assumed being by suo’s side would feel painful due to his genius, but again, the ways that they’re similar make taichi feel more at home than ever before. even if it’s only with the intention to mess with the other players, it’s in large part due to his practice with suo that taichi is able to become the eastern representative at all. in a twisted way, obfuscated by the pretense that they both don’t care about karuta, suo is the reason taichi is able to fall in love with karuta again (and later, taichi bringing suo’s family to the meijin match is a catalyst for suo to do the same).
during one of their practice matches in chapter 150, taichi thinks to himself “now that i’ve separated myself from the team, now that i’m alone and on my own, for the first time in my life i’m actually having fun playing karuta.” this line is pretty layered, but ultimately i do think that taichi is being sincere here. the line about leaving the team is evidence of him still working through a lot of his insecurities. obviously, he loved chihaya and the karuta team a lot and is trying to stomp out the pain that situation caused him by pretending he always hated it.
even so, taichi genuinely enjoys playing suo or else he wouldn’t be there. in fact, at this point in the story taichi has inaccurately internalized that he only pretended to love karuta in order to stay by chihaya’s side. if that was true, nothing would’ve been able to bring him back to karuta after he was rejected and quit the karuta club.
imo, suo also wouldn’t waste his time playing against taichi if he didn’t truly want to. he’s drawn to seek out taichi in part because he also hones in on their similarities. even more, suo has a reputation for making other players hate karuta, leaving him with very few people that want to play against him consistently. since taichi also “hates karuta” like him, losing against suo doesn’t deter taichi; he can’t grow to hate something that he already doesn’t care about. this ends up being incredibly freeing for taichi.
in fact, earlier in chapter 150, hyoro thinks as he’s playing against chihaya during nationals, “come back, mashima. i’m lonely. being by the talent’s side is so painful”—but that doesn’t appear to be a feeling that taichi shares. in direct juxtaposition, the next page has taichi reflecting that he “thought being by meijin suo’s side would be more painful,” with the implication that he hasn’t found his time with suo to be painful at all. it’s clear from their playful banter, from taichi’s relaxed, open body language around suo, from the ease with which they ask each other personal questions (and then never answer them). even though taichi constantly loses against suo, he genuinely wants to be there with him. this is actually huge for a character like taichi, who will avoid losing at any cost. taichi’s uphill karuta battle against suo just doesn’t seem to phase him at all, because again, regardless of their gap in skill, their similarities and shared lack of passion have given taichi all the hope and satisfaction he needs to keep playing right now.
that’s ultimately the point i’m working toward with regards to the paradoxical nature of suo and taichi’s relationship: even though their deep bond is forged through apathy, through pretending to not care, through reveling in the worst parts of each other—they still find immense understanding in each other, and a lot of happiness and joy in playing karuta together.
as i was writing this, i actually thought of something i’ve heard in therapy a lot: it’s unhealthy to continually lie to yourself about your own emotions. it’s a lot healthier to let yourself be honest and feel what you feel, even your most negative emotions—and that’s what i think suo gives taichi the space to do in this arc. although taichi (and eventually suo) both come around to acknowledging that they do love karuta, in his post-rejection depressive spiral it was actually very important for taichi to let himself feel his feelings, especially when it came to karuta. he had formed such a complex about his self-efficacy, hinging his worth on whether he won or lost, but imo he never really let himself acknowledge those darker feelings because the people around him loved karuta wholeheartedly.
in the time taichi spends with suo, the unconditional acceptance that suo gives him is what frees taichi to start being a more honest version of himself. truthfully, if taichi hadn’t encountered suo and started playing with him, i doubt he would’ve started playing karuta again at all, at least not in high school. even if his villain era contained its own falsehoods and missteps, it was still an important step. this mindset was crucial for taichi to work through so that when he did come back to loving karuta and holding it dear, it wasn’t something that he forced himself to do. it was a conclusion he came to on his own, because he truly does love karuta and always has—but he was only able to reach this point because he played alongside suo. alongside someone who didn’t trigger his self-imposed inadequacies about not caring enough, or constantly make him feel that he wasn’t passionate enough. taichi ends up finding a karuta that isn’t solely harada’s, nor is it just a copy of suo’s nasty style; it’s taichi’s most authentic karuta, the honest version of himself that he always hoped to grow up to be.
writing this is making me emotional LMAO but it’s really reaffirmed to me how, as convoluted as their dynamic is, as much as suo and taichi sidestep around what they really feel and communicate in very guarded ways, the bond that they form is so unconditional. they understand each other for exactly what they are, and they push each other to be more truthful—but they also let each other exist in that bitterness, that indifference when they both need to. they hear each other in the quiet, and they live in the same shadows, and it’s that quiet understanding that lets them pull each other towards light.
taichi felt like suo could see the darker parts of his personality, his flaws and insecurities, and still accept them. taichi could play a karuta with suo where he didn’t feel like he had to be more like the people around him. through this experience, taichi was able to admit to himself that he did love karuta after all. furthermore, because suo helped taichi reach this realization himself, taichi was able to help suo come to the same realization.
a lot of why their relationship is so powerful, and why they’re able to impact each other so profoundly, is because taichi and suo both loved karuta so much all along, but they didn’t, but they did. even though they played karuta together under the pretense that they both didn’t like karuta, they did. that’s why that time they spend playing together, in spite of its blatant nihilism and mutual toxicity, feels like a genuinely happy and special time that they share.
while i selfishly would’ve loved to get one last scene between them in the final chapter of the manga, there’s actually something incredibly poignant to me in the way they don’t speak. taichi never gets the chance to plainly tell suo that he in a way saved taichi, as dramatic as that sounds; suo never gets to thank taichi for bringing his family to the meijin match, for giving suo just as much as suo gave to him. i love that this final cathartic moment is left entirely unspoken, because it’s so true to them.
i also love how utterly selfless this lack of a final scene renders their relationship as a whole. suo, who never seemed to care about much of anything, invested so greatly in taichi that he was able to become a karuta player who could challenge arata; taichi, who struggled with acting selflessly and then resenting when he didn’t get anything in return, goes to nagasaki behind suo’s back because he knows suo wants to see his family. the fact that there’s no “thank you,” no direct acknowledgment of these acts (particularly in taichi’s case) is incredibly powerful to me. in chapter 150, we learn that taichi said, “he can now hear suo-san’s quiet voice loud and clear”—and to me, these selfless acts of quiet care between them, an unspoken and understated connection, truly exemplify that idea.
suo and taichi absolutely hold the time they spent playing karuta together—their convoluted mentor/disciple dynamic—as dear, regardless of how they act like it doesn’t matter. it takes a long time before they can acknowledge that karuta, and by extension the time they spend playing together, meant a lot to both of them. they went through their worst together, but they absolutely changed each other for the better.
