#chihiro rant

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

tetro danganronpa RANT time 😂✌️

about yaitabashi and his interview (it's not negative dw)

yk what I love about his interview? THE QUESTION ABOUT BEING AROACE. or about love. idk what it was

because FINALLY. fucking FINALLY we get some actual aroace rep in canon. because the constant stereotype is that aroace people can't feel love at ALL and like yes! I get that! it's technically true! however, aroace is also a spectrum. A FUCKING SPECTRUM. and no one talks about it. FINALLY seeing a character that's somewhere in the middle of the aroace spectrum means SO much to me.

I've been so tired of the whole "oh you're aroace? then why did you say that person was pretty? why did you talk about an ideal date?? huh?? what are you even on???" oh idk, maybe the aroace SPECTRUM. there's so much more depth to being aroace than the whole "EWWWW love is gross ew don't talk about sex to me eww you got married fuck off don't talk to me about that love is disgusting" thing. y'know? the stereotype has pissed me off for so long and we FINALLY get a character disproving it. I'm only gonna be even more pissed off of if I see people stereotyping sou. JUST LET SOMEONE BE ON THE AROACE SPECTRUM.

you don't need a label or specific identity to feel how you feel while being on the aroace spectrum. just saying you're aroace spectrum in general is fine. there's no need for specifics 😭 PLEASE let him be 💔 if there were specifics, it would've been specified.

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

I think tetro whispered in my ear or something because this whole time I've been panicking and thinking of what style of dress I needed and about how id look in them, but I forgot one crucial thing

and that's that just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I need a dress 😭

safe to say I found a silk tie, button down, and pair of pants I think will be a lot more comfortable and really express ME, rather than the shitty dress I got

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

rant maybe this will be under a cht but it's just me being sick

I hate being sick. it makes me feel pathetic. I swear to god I haven't consumed anything aside from my own fucking spit in HOURS. I had, what, two popsicles?? that did NOTHING. all that happened was my throat hurts AGAIN. not to mention my tounge is STILL FUCKING BURNED FROM THIS MORNING. and god. I want to eat so FUCKING BAD. but I can't. why?? because it's gonna hurt. and if it hurts, I'll cough, and if I cough, I'll probably end up crying from the pain, and then what. someone's gonna come and force it down manually?? and fuck I want water. I need more medicine. SO BAD. but I'm scared to take it. and I fucking hate that I'm scared to take it too because all it is is FUCKING MEDICINE ITS NOT THAT BIG OF A FUCKING DEAL IT WONT EVEN HURT THAT FUCKING BAD SO KM JUST BEING A FUCKING COWARD ABOUT IT BECAUSE IM SCARED. SCARED OF WHAT??? DOCTORS?? PAIN???? ITS BULLSHIT. THIS IS ALL SUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT AND IM ACTUALLY SO FUCKING DONE. LIKE??? I'm not exaggerating anymore. I just want someone to choke me out. I just want to sleep. every time I fucking feel the hunger come back, feel the exhaustion tugging at my eyes, feel the pain in my throat and the pain of knowing I can't even do what I love and am failing the people I care about?? it hurts. so. fucking. bad. and it's not like I've got a low pain tolerance, either. I'm good at pushing through this shit. but please. just for once, I just want to sleep. I'm so fucking tired and nothing is making me actually wanna fall asleep. I just wanna go to sleep and I can't even do that for myself. I just feel like a pathetic embarrassment of what someone could really be as a person. as if it wasn't bad enough I'm naturally weaker in my arms, I was practically BEGGING my friend to walk me to my next class. I feel so fucking bad because I kept apologizing and I was just waiting for her to snap and it never came and it's stressing me out. I'm worried she's just gonna hate me for being so needy and pathetic all the time. like fuck why am I texting her after dark and asking if she hates me. goddamnit she's too fucking sweet about it why is she so kind and patient with me? like... it's as bad as dealing with a traumatized little kid or something.. why does she know what to say or how to make me feel better

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

so um.....

tw for sexual harassment..?

NO ONE WAS GONNA FUCKING TELL ME THAT I CAN ALSO JUST NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE CONSTANTLY SEXUALIZING ME? THAT I CAN GET OUT OF PEOPLE ASSUMING OTHERS ARE ONLY TALKING TO ME TO FUCK ME? THAT IT WASNT OK FOR PEOPLE TO ASK ME WHO ID FUCK, OR LET FUCK ME?? THAT IT WASNT OK FOR PEOPLE TO SEXUALIZE COMPLETELY INNOCENT VIDEOS OF ME JUST EXISTING? NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME???

what the fuck man.

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

don't read this it's cringe

my friends need to stop jokingly flirting with me I'm gonna DIE. "naughty girl" PLEASE IM GONNA HAVE AN EPISODE

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

"chihiro, in our next li-" don't fucking do this to me

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

I'm bored I'm answering the "ask your oc these!!" questions

"what music genre do you like?"

theres more than just one I fear.. let's just say it ranges between alt rock and bossa nova

"what sort of fashion do you hate"

that one style that has a bunch of clashing colors and patterns that just doesn't look good 😭 like I love chaotic outfits that still match, but there's some that are just ehhh imo

"how do I handle high stress situations"

⭐, angel, and scoring the bread iykwim, or disassociating

"how do I make friends"

depends. irl, I don't. they just come to me and I accept it. online? I usually just find people with mutual interests and who can put up with my yapping and high maintenance personality

"cats or dogs? why?"

well, I love cats. I think it's just cus I see myself in cats more, and it's easier to mirror their behaviors. though, I also share some dog ish qualities, but cats are definitely more me core, especially with their versatile personalities

"what are your flaws as a person?"

there's a LOT. let's just say I'm bad at communication, to sum it up. if there's an argument, I have a bad tendency of just giving radio silence rather than talking it out. it's just easier to let the relationship fade out and ghost away, rather than reopen a wound just to have the mistake happen again and again

"what makes you instantly dislike someone?"

if they think bullying is ok 😭 or if they're dumb. not like, can't do school dumb, but like, a lack of emotional intelligence. I just CANT put up with people who have low emotional intelligence, I need someone who can understand my complicated mixes of emotions even when I don't 💔

"what are your beliefs and values?"

well, to start, I'm agnostic. but values?? good question I honestly don't know 😭 I have very questionable morals and values, so I'm not the right person to ask

"what are you insecure about?"

just about everything that you can be insecure about, inside and out. if it's something about me, I probably am insecure about it.

"what do you find comfort in/what helps you relax?"

a lot of things. I find comfort in overcast weather, whether that's cloudy days, thunderstorms, heavy rain, snow, or windy days, I love unconventional weather. I also find a lot of comfort in the cold. and also warm lighting. if someone were to turn off all the big lights and just use soft lights like night lights or fairy lights, I'd be instantly relaxed. I also find comfort in basic things like big hoodies/sweaters, flare leggings, compression socks, and warm compresses.

(I also find solace in certain kinds of pain, and it helps me relax, but I try to avoid that!!)

not a lot of things help me relax, but if I had to say.. probably anything regarding my hair 😭 I've noticed I completely lose my guard whenever someone's playing with my hair or like, scratching my scalp??? idfk it's weird but it kills me /pos 😭 and also like, cuddles with friends. not my mom cus she makes me uncomfortable when she touches me, but whenever im cuddled up to my friends I feel VERY comfortable. or like, holding hands or resting heads on shoulders, etc. ..I'm really not living up to being touch adverse, am I 😭🙏

"do you challenge authority or respect it?"

well, it depends. if authority is reasonable and actually keeps things under reasonable (and not suffocating) control, I completely respect it. but if it's out of control, I'll definitely be against it and challenge it. teachers HATE to see me coming.

"what's your least favorite chore?"

dishes. they make me sick, like genuinely. I'll do just about anything else, just NOT dishes.

"how often do I talk to my family members?"

let's go with immediate family. I talk to my mom just about daily, cus she drives me to school, and I run into her after school sometimes. we exchange atleast a few words daily. some days, I don't see my dad at all. between his work schedule of early mornings, late nights, and my school schedule, there's quite a few days each week that we don't talk. when he IS home, sometimes I fall asleep too quickly to see him, or I'm just in my room the entire day.

I talk to my brother rather rarely, but when we DO talk, it's amazing. long conversations that extend about nothing and everything at the same time 😭 I'd say maybe once weekly we see each other and say more than just "hi".

"how do/would you act around people you're in love with?"

I'm aroace so this questions kinda boring, but on the off chance I did fall for someone, probably the exact same as I usually do. if anything, id just subtly look for more excuses to spend more time with them.

"how do you treat someone you dislike?"

usually I just give them straight silent treatment. if not though, I'm usually short and snippy, but still civil. if they try to talk to me, though, I have a bad habit of looking at them like "genuinely what the fuck is actually happening to you right now can you shut the hell up"

"what would I find impressive?"

people with a wide vocal range. and also people who can pick me up (cus I'm notably heavy 😭), and people who can engage with me when I'm in full yapping/analyzing mode and speaking REALLY quickly. and also people who remember the things I mention in conversations, and genuinely seem like they care about it. don't see it very often, and means the WORLD to me.

"if you had one wish, what would you wish for?"

probably either for death, or for every ailment I have to be gone. mental and physical. meaning no more depression, no more anxiety, no more ed, no more ADHD, better immune system, no chronic illness, well rested after sleeping, etc. I wanna live like a normal person one day

"what's your sense of humor, what would you find funny?"

oh my god don't ask for my sense of humor. anything i SHOULDNT laugh at. I have a horrible habit of laughing at things that aren't funny (like seriously, the talks about slavery and 9/11 and school shootings in class are actually hell). really just about anything, but I always found the clanker joke tiktoks kinda funny 😭

"what's their favorite movie/trilogy?"

favorite movie: "laufey's a night at the symphony: Hollywood bowl (with the LA phillharmonic orchestra)", favorite trilogy: tetro Danganronpa (when white comes out)

"how do you show appreciation to others?"

in SO many ways. rants about how grateful I am for them, doing things in return for them, and sometimes just straight up saying "I fucking love you so much", "can I just kiss you??" or "yep that's it you're getting touched tonight." (last one is always /j)

blehhh I hope you learned something about me

[chihiro-mcdonaldz]

all my friends are lowk just walking past me and saying hi before leaving again and I'm kinda like

what'd I do

the ONE day where I actually feel sad and lonely and want someone to talk to and now they're all busy

did they ever love me in the first place