Charlie had always seen the colors. She defined the colors as pretty and scary. Mommy’s pretty color was a blue, the color of the ocean. Daddy’s pretty color was a green, like the grass in the backyard.
Charlie liked seeing the colors most at night when she was getting tucked into bed, her eyes sleepy and dimmed by the lack of light. Charlie snuggled against the streams of sapphires and emeralds that emerged from the mouths of her parents. The vibrant colors were tugged along by the gentle whispers of “I love you” and “sweet dreams.” The blue and green swirled around each other and into Charlie, lulling her to sleep and soaking into her dreams of rainbows and stars. This was Charlie’s favorite time of day. She wondered if it was Mommy and Daddy’s favorite time of day, too.
Charlie saw the pretty colors during the day, but they were less bright and they were often coupled with the scary colors. Mommy’s scary color was a crusted red, like a scab on Charlie’s knee, and Daddy’s was a wasteful brown, like the bits of dog poop that dotted the sidewalks on their street. Charlie hated the scary colors. Their ugliness would inch their way into the parade of purple and greens, their facets rough and tumble. The scary colors weren’t nice. They made Charlie’s eyes hurt.
What was strange to Charlie was how she could never predict when the scary colors would come. They slipped out from between her parents’ lips easily, just like the pretty colors. Charlie didn’t understand. She saw this perplexing sequence happen with other people’s pretty and scary colors too. Charlie’s kindergarten teacher, Mr. Appleton, always spoke with a nice, pleasant orange color, as bright as a tangerine. But whenever he spoke to Ms. Cranston, the music teacher, the orange melted into a putrid yellow.
Once, Charlie asked Mommy about why the colors changed from pretty to scary. Mommy explained that your eyes can play tricks on you and one color can really be a different color depending on the way the light hits the color. When Charlie asked if that was why the colors that came out of people’s mouths were so different sometimes, Mommy laughed and said that’s not what she meant. Charlie didn’t ask about the colors again.
Mommy and Daddy’s scary colors rarely came out streaming toward Charlie, but she saw Mommy and Daddy’s reds and browns spit toward each other often. On the playground, even in the bright sunlight, Charlie would glance back at her parents sitting on the bench and see the red and brown wave back and forth between them. She strained her eyes to see if blue or green existed, but those colors were only visible in the sky and ground. So Charlie pretended her eyes were playing tricks on her.
When she looked into the mirror, Charlie squinted really hard to see her own colors. She would sing a song or talk to her stuffed kitty, Magnanimous, but there was never a color to be seen. Anything that came from her lips was invisible. Charlie wished to see purple, her favorite color, or even just a hint of yellow. Charlie didn’t like being colorless.
Charlie knew her parents would divorce before they did. But Charlie didn’t have a name for it. She just had seen the scary colors too much. Sometimes Charlie squeezed her eyes closed when she saw Mommy and Daddy talking to each other because the sharpness of the red and brown made her eyes ache.
Bedtime wasn’t Charlie’s favorite time of day anymore. She now preferred playtime at school when she would play with Penelope, who always spoke with a lovely shade of violet mixed with hints of pink, like a sunset at the beach.
Only the twinkle of Mommy’s blue showed up to tuck Charlie in at bedtime. In the morning, the sparkle of Daddy’s green came to wake Charlie up. The turquoise swirls never appeared again. Charlie’s dreams became colorless.