May 8
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IM ACTUALLY PISSING THIS VIDEO IS SO FUNNY
what happens in monaco, doesn’t stay in monaco? - a.buttle
𝗆𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍!
request:𝗁𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒! 𝗂 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗂 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖺 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝖿𝗂𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗉 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝖺𝖼𝗈 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗉 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗅𝗒 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗑?
authors note: 𝖨’𝗏𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝗒 𝗌𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖽𝗎𝗅𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖨 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗄𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗅𝗈𝗅
warnings:𝗂 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗅𝗆𝗄!
You weren’t sure what to expect from Monaco—Alfie had painted it as a glamorous brand trip, full of yachts, sun, and racing, but seeing it in person made your jaw drop. The sunlight bounced off the water, glinting like liquid gold. Luxury cars lined the streets, and every corner seemed like it was made for a photoshoot. Alfie grinned beside you, hands in his pockets, looking completely at ease.
“Welcome to paradise,” he said, looping his arm through yours.
You laughed, eyes darting around. “Paradise with a million rules about not tripping over millionaires’ handbags, apparently.”
Alfie chuckled. “Ignore them. We’re here to have fun… and maybe sneak off when no one’s looking.”
Your first stop was the AirBnB Alfie had rented for the group. The villa overlooked the high mountains, a sweeping view of clouds barely scattered across the sky. The living room had floor-to-ceiling windows, a terrace with sunbeds, and a kitchen so pristine you were sure Alfie would never dare cook in it.
“This is insane,” you whispered, spinning slowly in the open space.
“Right? And wait until you see the rooftop terrace,” Alfie said, tugging you toward the sliding doors. The warm air hit your face as you stepped outside; the scent of salt, sunscreen, and blooming flowers filled your senses. He paused, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “It’s kind of perfect for… private moments,” he murmured, eyes glinting mischievously.
You rolled your eyes, laughing, but couldn’t help feeling a thrill. So far, the trip was everything Alfie had promised—and the secrecy of your relationship made it feel like an adventure all its own.
The next day, the group set off for the yacht. Alfie and you had managed to avoid the full attention of the other friends so far—Chip, Will, and Arthur were busy wrangling themselves onto the boat. You followed Alfie down the marina steps, your hand brushing against his, hearts skipping every time your fingers touched.
The yacht was bigger than you imagined: polished teak floors, cushioned lounges, and an upper deck with a perfect view of the bay. Alfie led you to a quieter corner near the stern, just enough out of sight of the others, before helping you get some food provided and guiding you to the top deck where not many people were.
“See? Now this is private,” he said, leaning close. “Just us.”
You laughed softly. “Until someone spies on us, right?”
Alfie grinned, tilting his head toward yours. “Then it’s even more exciting.”
The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur of champagne, laughter, and the sun glinting on your skin. Alfie kept finding excuses to brush against you, a hand resting lightly on your back as you leaned over to look at the map of the harbor or passing your hand over the railing. Each touch sent a thrill through you, but you both remained careful—no one could know. Not yet.
Evenings were spent exploring the surrounding streets, stopping at cafés, and laughing over the smallest things. Alfie led you to the rooftop terrace at the AirBnB one night, where the city lights twinkled below like a river of stars.
“God, it’s beautiful,” you said, leaning against the railing.
“Not as beautiful as this view,” Alfie murmured, brushing your hair behind your ear. He leaned close, and you felt the warmth of his body before his lips touched yours.
You pulled back slightly, just as a laugh from below carried up—Chip, of course, pretending to adjust something and spying on you. You both froze, hearts racing, realizing just how precarious your secret really was.
Alfie groaned softly. “We need better hiding spots,” he whispered, a mixture of exasperation and amusement in his voice.
You laughed, tugging him toward the corner of the terrace. “We’ll manage… somehow.”
By the time a few days had passed, the two of you had carved out your own little routine—morning coffees on the terrace, afternoons on the yacht, evenings wandering Monaco’s streets. The thrill of secrecy made everything feel electric, and every small touch, every quiet kiss, was its own adventure.
It was the third day, and the yacht had finally settled into a calm rhythm. Everyone else was below deck, exploring the cabins or getting snacks, leaving Alfie and you alone on the upper deck. The sun was starting to dip, turning the water gold, and the soft sway of the boat made every movement feel dreamlike.
Alfie leaned close, brushing your hair from your face. “I wish these moments could last forever,” he murmured, fingers tracing the curve of your jaw.
You laughed softly, your hand finding his. “You say that every time we hide somewhere.”
“Well…” he tilted his head, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, “maybe because it’s true.”
Before you could respond, a loud, familiar voice echoed across the deck:
“Well, well, well…”
Your stomach dropped. Chip. Of course it was Chip.
You both froze. Alfie’s hands instinctively moved to cover yours, but Chip was already striding toward you, grin impossibly wide. “Would you look at this! Alfie Buttles and… oh, you know who. The secret girlfriend?”
Alfie groaned, cheeks heating. “Chip! No, it’s not—”
“Oh, don’t even try!” Chip interrupted, pretending to clutch his heart. “I saw enough from over there. You two have been sneaky little monkeys. And honestly… I’m impressed.”
From below deck, footsteps pounded as Will and Arthur appeared, curiosity on full blast. “Caught what? Alfie, what’s going on?” Will asked, eyes darting between the two of you.
Arthur leaned dramatically on the railing, eyes wide. “I feel betrayed! I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend!”
“No one did,” Alfie muttered, tugging you gently behind him. “This was supposed to be private!”
Chip waved a hand dismissively. “Private? Ha! You’re practically performing a romance novel in front of us!”
You couldn’t stop laughing, half at Alfie’s mortified expression and half at the ridiculousness of the situation. Alfie tried to bury his face in his hands, mumbling, “I’m never living this down…”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Chip said with a grin. “We’ll make sure everyone remembers this yacht trip. Now, spill it. How long? When did this start? Is she serious or is this just a fling?”
Arthur leaned closer, his grin teasing. “Yeah, Alfie, I demand all the details. Don’t leave anything out. Lives may depend on this knowledge.”
Alfie groaned again, tugging you close under the railing. “We… we were just… it wasn’t supposed to happen like this!”
“Oh, it happened alright,” Chip said, clearly savoring the chaos. “And now we’re all investigators. You can’t escape us. Start talking.”
Even as your cheeks burned, you couldn’t stop laughing. Alfie looked like he wanted to sink through the deck, but there was a spark in his eyes—half embarrassed, half thrilled—because despite the teasing, the chaos, and Chip’s over-the-top interrogation, you were together, right there on the yacht, and no one could take that away.
By the time the rest of the group joined, the story had already grown in exaggeration—Chip narrating, Arthur adding dramatic commentary, Will laughing at every awkward pause. Alfie groaned, burying his face in his hands again, muttering something about “impossible friends.”
You leaned into him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Don’t worry. You’re mine,” you whispered.
Alfie peeked at you through his fingers, a small, embarrassed smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah… and you’re stuck with me,” he murmured back.
Chip, overhearing, just laughed. “Oh, don’t worry, mate. This yacht trip is officially legendary. Secrets or not, the rest of us will never let this one go.”
And as the sun set over Monaco, casting a golden glow on the water, Alfie and you held each other tight—caught, teased, and completely in love—knowing that some secrets are worth the chaos.
The sun had dipped below the horizon, painting the water a deep gold, but the chaos on the yacht had only just begun. Chip, grinning like a cat that got the cream, had already started narrating the “incident” in full dramatic fashion.
“I swear, I saw it all!” he announced, pacing the deck. “Alfie Buttles, caught in flagrante delicto!”
Will laughed so hard he nearly toppled over a deck chair. “Mate, you didn’t even try to hide it! Were you auditioning for a rom-com?”
Arthur, ever the dramatist, clasped his hands over his chest. “I demand answers. Alfie, who initiated? What was said? How long? Details, man. Details!”
Alfie groaned, burying his face in his hands again, muttering, “I’m never living this down.”
You, of course, found it impossible not to laugh. Sliding closer, you whispered in his ear, “You’re ridiculous. But also kind of adorable.”
He peeked at you through his fingers, a small, embarrassed grin tugging at his lips. “I am ridiculous,” he admitted, “but… worth it, I hope?”
“Definitely worth it,” you whispered back, pressing a quick kiss to his temple before pretending to shield him from the gang’s prying eyes.
By now, the group had fully gathered on the upper deck. Chip was in full storyteller mode, Will and Arthur practically hanging onto every word, and Will had appeared from below deck, curious and smirking.
“So… wait,” Willsaid, leaning against the railing, “Alfie… you’ve been keeping a girlfriend a secret this whole time?”
Alfie groaned again, tugging you slightly behind him. “Yes. That’s the point of secret! I… wasn’t planning on this becoming public knowledge.”
Chip laughed. “Public knowledge? Mate, it’s Monaco. You’re basically on the world stage now!”
Arthur, who had been quietly observing, finally spoke up with a grin. “Honestly, Alfie, I didn’t even know you could keep anything from us. And yet… here we are.”
You couldn’t stop laughing, half at Alfie’s mortified expression, half at the absurdity of being the center of this ridiculous “interrogation.”
The questions came fast and furious:
“How long have you been seeing her?”
“Was this a fling or serious?”
“Who kissed first?”
“Do you actually like each other or is this just a holiday romance?”
Alfie groaned at every one. “Can we not?”
Chip shook his head. “Nope. You can’t hide in Monaco. Secrets don’t survive here, mate.”
You grinned and whispered, “It’s fine. They’re just… curious.”
Alfie muttered under his breath, “Curious or psychotic?”
Eventually, the teasing began to calm, and a quieter, more private moment emerged. Alfie took your hand, holding it beneath the railing where no one could see, and whispered, “I’m so glad it’s you… even if everyone else knows now.”
You smiled, leaning against him. “Me too. Honestly, this chaos makes it feel… real. And exciting.”
He chuckled softly, pressing his forehead to yours. “I think I’ll survive the embarrassment… as long as you’re here.”
You kissed him lightly, just enough for only him to feel it, ignoring the loud commentary of Chip and the rest of the crew.
Even amidst the chaos, the laughter, and the endless questions, you realized something important:
Being caught wasn’t the end of the secret—it was the start of something more. And if Alfie was willing to risk it all for you, teasing friends and all, then so were you.
The next morning, the group decided to make the most of the yacht. Alfie and you had been trying to stay “low-key” after Chip’s dramatic exposure, but as soon as Chip spotted you both sipping coffee together on the upper deck, all subtlety went out the window.
“Oi! Couple alert!” Chip shouted, pointing dramatically as if he were announcing royalty. “Everyone! Alfie’s girlfriend is here!”
Will and Arthur immediately crowded around, trying to inspect every subtle touch. Alfie groaned, hiding his face in his hands, while you snorted, trying not to laugh.
“You two are ridiculous,” you muttered under your breath, leaning close to Alfie.
“Yeah,” he replied, smirking despite himself, “but we’re having fun.”
Later, the group headed to watch an F1 practice run from the marina terrace. Everyone was crowded around binoculars and smartphones, but Alfie and you found a quiet corner behind a railing.
“Finally, some privacy,” Alfie murmured, leaning close.
“Until Chip spies on us again,” you teased, peeking over your shoulder.
Sure enough, Chip leaned around a post moments later, smirking. “Aha! Gotcha. Hand-holding detected!”
Will burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Alfie! You really can’t hide it!”
Arthur dramatically gasped. “I demand a full report! How long have these hands been touching?! Who initiated? Were there smooches?”
Alfie groaned, tugging your hand under the railing. “Do you ever stop?”
You laughed. “Apparently not.”
Dinner that evening was no better. The group had booked a terrace restaurant overlooking the harbor. Alfie tried to sit with you subtly on the same side of the table, hoping to avoid attention, but Chip immediately leaned in across from you.
“So,” he said, with a grin so wide it was almost criminal, “do we get the romantic story now? Or is this still classified?”
Alfie buried his face in the menu. “Classified!”
Arthur shook his head. “Classified or not, mate, everyone knows by now.”
Will smirked, raising his glass. “To Alfie and the secret girlfriend! May your sneaky kisses continue… but maybe not in front of us next time.”
You leaned into Alfie’s side, whispering, “They’re worse than paparazzi with celebrities.”
“I know,” he whispered back, pressing a quick kiss to your temple. “But at least they’re our kind of chaos.”
By the end of the night, the group had settled into a playful rhythm: teasing, challenges, questions, and endless commentary about you two. But amidst all the laughter, chaos, and ridiculous interrogation, you and Alfie found moments just for yourselves—soft touches beneath the table, quiet whispers, and stolen glances across the table that no one else could interrupt.
Even in Monaco’s glitz, with friends watching and teasing endlessly, it felt like your own little world existed just for the two of you.
𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍: @bambilenny
Hold on he’s thinking
aweee so cute SO CUTE
Can I introduce you all to my laptop background???
Spoilers for this week's episode of exit strategy on Moresidemen
Another enjoyable 47 minutes and 47 seconds of my life that I would not have wanted to spend any other way, sidemen you've done it again.
This week's episode of exit strategy was awesome as expected. A bit sad to see Jack and Arthur go but I suppose it's a necessary evil.
Also, Ethan and Harry on their team sidemen was so cute i love them so much🥹
whenever I see or think about that clip of chippo saying that when he was on a date with a girl, she just talked about wrotoeshaw it genuinely boils my blood because she genuinely had the PERFECT opportunity to become a ukyt wag and be involved (especially considering she did secretly fancy his best friend) and she just messed up massively 😭 never seen a worse fumble in my LIFEEEE