Where AB takes you to the gym for your first video.
~established relationship, fluff, slight sexual mentions, very minor mention of weight (no detail)~
a/n: it’s a long one! x
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“Okay guys it’s currently 2 am and we’re going to the gym.” You laugh at the camera in your hand. It felt slightly strange considering you’ve only done it briefly when AB’s been filming, but now it was your turn due to popular demand.
“Yeah this is what happens when the mrs is scared to film in public.” AB addresses the camera, coming up behind you and slinging an arm round your shoulder.
“Oh jog on mate, as if you’re not.” You tut at him.
“So I’m your mate now?” He retorts.
You move out from under his arm and stand in front of him, “yeah we’re just friends.” You say, giving him a smile.
“I’ll show you just friends.” He mutters, coming towards you and caging you in his arms.
“AB!” You guffaw, “no inappropriate comments.” You scold, blushing, remembering that you were still filming. I mean you wouldn’t edit it out— not unless he said something really bad.
He laughs, sponging a kiss to your cheek before going to grab his car keys.
“Let’s go then, buddy.” He says, holding the front door open for you.
You roll your eyes at him, grabbing your water bottle and phone, still filming with the camera in hand.
You didn’t properly tell AB how much it meant to you that he agreed to go the gym so late at night, in fact he was the one who came up with the idea, knowing not only how reluctant you were to film in public but also how you were scared of the gym, for fear of being watched. He swapped out his usual morning work out for the one he was going to do now. He was always doing things like this for you— anything to make your life easier, even if it inconvenienced him.
“Thanks, Honey pie.” You say as you pass, laughing when you hear him grumble at the atrocious pet name.
“Just get in the car. Don’t wanna hear anymore out of ya.” You heard from behind you.
“Guys are you hearing this? The sass out of this man is crazy.” You say to the camera, hopping into the passenger seat whilst AB locks up the grotto.
You shut off the camera and get comfortable in the passenger seat, already loading up spotify as you were most definitely on aux.
AB then climbed into the car, looking sexy in his loose fitting grey joggers and white compression top. After all this time together you’ve still never watched him work out, for fear of you jumping his bones right there in the middle of the gym. God you were gonna have to restrain yourself tonight. But what you didn’t know, was that AB was having similar thoughts about you, sitting there all pretty in the zip up lululemon jacket he’d bought you— the bbl jacket you called it. But then again when did he not want to have his way with you, he imagined you’d look hot in a bin bag— bloody gorgeous woman.
“Right let’s ‘ave a little motive in the car then.” He says, putting the key into the ignition.
You play the first song, already getting hype, “nah this is such a tune.” You comment on your own song choice, making AB laugh at you.
After a car ride full of both of your favourite songs you arrive at the 24hr gym, thankful to see no other cars in the car park.
Once actually inside and each of you putting your things in the respective change rooms, you switch on the camera to get started with the actual part of your video.
“Right, so what first?” You ask AB, looking clueless.
“S’probably best we warm up, yeah?” He says, starting to stretch.
“Mhm.” You hum in agreement, placing the camera down so you’re both in frame.
You really try to take this seriously, but you couldn’t hold back your laughter at watching AB contort his long and wide body in funny ways.
“S’rude to laugh at people in the gym ya know.” He comments, coming over to your crouched position and nudging you so that you lost your balance and toppled over.
“I bet it’s bloody rude to knock people over in the gym too!” You exclaim, holding out your hands for him to help you up.
AB grabs hold of your outstretched hands, hoisting you up and forgetting his own strength, causing you to stumble into his chest. You place your hands on his waist whilst he wraps his arms round your shoulders and smile up at him. He leans down and places a gentle kiss against your lips. Which you blur out in the edit, adding an “ew” sound effect in the background.
You make your way over to the treadmills, AB taking the camera off you to film instead.
“First, cardio.” He says filming himself before flipping it around to you. “Up ya get Y/N.”
You roll your eyes, regretting saying yes to this video idea already.
“I fuckin’ hate running.” You comment, pressing start on the treadmill.
“No complaining to the coach please.” AB deadpans.
You look over at him in disbelief ready to say something, before he reaches over and turns the machine up, causing you to run faster to keep up.
“AB!” You exclaim, already getting worn out.
“What’d I say.” He responds.
You simply turn to look at him and the smug expression on his face, sticking your tongue out at him and the little bit he was doing.
AB stopped filming and went to do his cardio instead leaving you to finish up your running. Once you felt satisfied— or, well, too tired to continue you went over to admire him, wishing his sweaty body was above yours in a bed and not on a treadmill.
He eventually steps off and you wolf whistle as he comes over to stand above you from your seated position.
He smirks and shakes his head at the noise, prompting you to get up and follow him.
“What’s next then coach?” You ask once you started filming again.
“You’re gonna spot my bench press. Reckon you can mange that?” He says cheekily, loading up the weights onto the bar.
“Yeah, how hard can it be.” You say confidently.
He stares at you with a twinkle in his eye as he watches you come over to him after setting up the camera.
“How heavy is this thing anyway?” You ask flippantly.
“One forty.” He replies, laying down on the bench.
“What, pounds?”
With you stood behind him and him lead down staring at you, dangerous thoughts enter his head of all the times he’s been underneath you, looking up at you— same way he is now— as he drives you to orgasm.
He shakes his head clear of the memories he knows he’ll never forget— one’s he wouldn’t want to, before answering you, “no, kg.”
You look at him gobsmacked at what he just said. Jesus you knew he was strong but not that strong, and the way he said it too, so nonchalantly as if that wasn’t over double your weight.
Just as he goes to lift up the bar you say, “just so you know if that falls on you or something, I genuinely won’t be able to lift that. Like I could try but you’ll still walk out of here with a concave chest. Well you probably won’t be walking either.”
“Jesus, Y/N. Don’t make me laugh whilst I do this, else you’ll be the cause of my concave chest.”
“S’just a warning, coach.” You mutter.
He squints his eyes at you for making him laugh again, before preparing to lift the bar for the second time.
He shoots daggers at you in warning and takes a deep breath before hoisting it in the air and bringing it back down to his chest, managing it twice before placing the bar back in its hold.
You clap as soon as he’s done, genuinely amazed at his strength and trying not to think too hard about how much that turned you on.
“Me next!” You cheer once he’s stood up.
He looks at you in disbelief, ready to shut you down and lecture you about how you can’t lift things that heavy without training. But you knew what he was going to say, so you didn’t let him start instead you carried on, “no, I want you to lift me. Show me what you got coach.” You tease, sticking your tongue in your cheek.
You were unsure if having him touch you right now was a good idea, especially after the display you just watched, but you thought it would be fun. Plus it would be great for the video you almost forgot you were filming.
He goes to lay down on the spongy part of the floor, knowing it would hurt less if you happened to fall but he would never let that happen.
“C’mere then girl.” He grins, holding his hands above his head.
Now that it was happening you were a little bit scared. You stood to the side of him unsure of even how you were doing this.
“Quit being a pussy and fall back onto my hands. I’ve got ya.” AB tells you.
“It’s scary!” You exclaim. “What if I hurt you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’d hurt more if a fuckin’ feather fell on me. C’mon.”
You roll your eyes, turning around and hoping he’ll catch you as you awkwardly fall against his outstretched hands. You cross you arms against your chest as you feel yourself being lowered to his chest and then lifted into the air again.
You giggle as he continues to do the up and down motion, doing more than necessary but he felt like showing off.
After what felt like him doing that a hundred times, you roll over onto his chest and rest your head against his stomach, patting his chest.
“Okay, we get it big boy. You’re ridiculously strong.” You say.
He chuckles, causing your head to vibrate from where it’s lead on his stomach. He brushes some fallen strands of hair out of your face before sitting up, making your head roll into his lap.
“Up ya get.” He says.
You refuse, stretching out like a starfish with your head still in his lap.
“I can’t be arsed to do anything else. M’tired.”
“Tired? You’ve barely done anything.” He laughs at your ridiculousness.
“Yeah but it’s past my bed time.” You mumble.
“Let’s get you to bed then.” He coos, bending over to place a peck on your forehead.
You again blur that out in the edit and take that as you’re cue to get up.
You go and pick up the camera, “okay that’s the end of the workout, we’ll wasn’t much of a workout but it’s like 3 am now and I need to go to bed.” You inform the audience.
“Well maybe if you let us go to the gym at a normal time this wouldn’t be happening.” AB pipes up.
“Sorry are you not the one to come up with this idea?” You question.
“Are you not the same girl who’s afraid of the gym when there’s other people there?” He retorts.
You stuck your tongue out at him, knowing he was right.
You ended the video before leaving the gym, knowing you’d be too tired to do it once you made it back to the grotto. You hoped it turned out okay and that people enjoyed it.
You were already excited to film the next one.
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i hope you guys enjoyed this one!!! sorry it’s quite long i just couldn’t help myself they’re so cute.
Pairing: ChrisMD x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Humour, Light Embarrassment, Friends-to-Lovers vibes
Summary: Chris forgets he’s mic’d up during a shoot and says way too many things about how fit you look that day — and the editors leave it all in for the final video
Word Count: 550
Masterlist
You had no idea.
Not when you tied your hair up in the car park.
Not when you tugged your hoodie off to reveal the fitted jersey Chris lent you.
Not even when you jogged over to the pitch, bouncing a ball between your feet, while Chris stood on the sidelines, fully mic’d up for the “Mic’d Football Challenges” shoot.
You had no idea he was saying stuff like this:
“Nah, this is ridiculous—what is she even wearing? Did she wake up and choose violence against my self-control?”
“Right, focus. Focus. She’s your mate. Your fit-as-hell, probably-unreachable, absolutely-glowing-in-the-sunlight mate.”
“Is she doing this on purpose? Is this payback for nutmegging me last week? Because fair play—this is torture.”
He said it all quietly. To himself. Probably thinking the boom mic wasn’t that close. But he forgot the golden rule: if you’re mic’d up, the editors will catch everything. Especially the good bits.
And they loved this.
You only found out days later when the video dropped.
The thumbnail was chaos, as always — Chunkz yelling, Theo mid-fall, you kicking a ball through two cones while Chris looked on in horror.
You clicked on it, expecting the usual mess. What you got was far more interesting.
Halfway through, there was a random slow-mo montage of you kicking a ball, set to dramatic music.
And then came his voice, dropped in like a commentary:
“Is she doing this on purpose? This is torture.”
The screen paused, glitched with a record-scratch effect, and the text:
“Yes, Chris was very much mic’d up.”
You dropped your phone. Picked it up again. Rewound.
They’d included all of it.
You watched, mortified and kind of... flattered? Your face burned as you listened to him panic-babbling under his breath, going from admiring to self-deprecating to very clearly down bad in a matter of seconds.
You got texts immediately.
Theo: "MATE. MATE. CHRIS IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. This is not a drill."
Talia Mar: "You absolute minx. What were you WEARING that day??"
Harry: "This is better than reality TV."
You showed up to the next shoot armed with a smug grin and a vengeance.
He spotted you from across the pitch, froze like a deer in headlights, and turned bright red.
“Oh, if it isn’t Mr. ‘She’s my fit-as-hell mate,’” you called, sauntering over. “Had anything else you’d like to mumble into a microphone today?”
Chris groaned, burying his face in his hands. “They promised they’d cut that.”
“They lied,” you sang, poking him in the chest. “So. Fit-as-hell, am I?”
He peeked at you between his fingers. “You’ve always known I fancied you.”
You tilted your head. “I knew you liked me. I didn’t know you suffered.”
He chuckled, a bit sheepish but grinning now. “That obvious, yeah?”
“You said self-control, Chris.”
He groaned again. You laughed and looped your arm around his.
"Relax. It’s kind of cute.”
“…Kind of?”
You leaned in, lips brushing his cheek.
“Okay. Very.”
And just like that, he was back to being absolutely flustered — but this time, he didn’t run. Just slipped his hand into yours, camera crew be damned.
summary: you end up going home with chris after an eventful charity match after party.
content: smuttttt 18+, unprotected pinv, oral (f receiving), cockwarming, chris is a bit nervous, some minor switch dynamics, nothing to heavy.
note: i had to write something for chris, he is the goat isn't he?
you were sitting at the sidemen charity match after party, drunk out of your mind.
you were sitting across from will, laughing with him.
you ended up talking about other youtubers and eventually the conversation shifted to chris.
“so what do you think of chris?” he asks you, fully aware that chris’s stood behind you.
“raw, next question.” you giggle, you had no idea that he was within ear shot, let alone right behind you.
“right. i’ll leave you to it mate.” will says, looking up at chris before he walks away, patting chris on the back.
“oh my god!” you’re cheeks flush red.
“it’s ok.” chris laughs, clearly finding the situation amusing.
“i didn’t- um, i’m not, i was just kidding.” you look down at your hands in your lap.
“it’s alright. i’d do you raw.” he continues laughing.
that sobered you up quickly. your eyes widen. this was the last thing you expected.
“don’t say it if you don’t mean it.” you bite your lip as you look over at him.
“oh i mean it alright. can i take you home?” chris licks his lips.
damn that was smooth.
“i mean if you want.” you try to come across as nonchalant, but you don’t think it’s working.
“let’s go.” he offers you his hand and you take it.
if you’d known that it would be this easy you would have done this ages ago.
the car ride back to his place seems to take forever.
chris holds your hand in his own, but he can’t look at you.
he wanted you so badly he felt almost uncontrollable. like his body would act on his behalf for him.
“you played really well in the match today.” you smile at chris.
“thank you.” his eyes are focused on his lap.
“you and arthur worked really well together.” you were happy to praise him. he had such a good game.
“well y’know.” he brushes it off.
eventually the car comes to a stop at what you assume is chris’s apartment complex.
“cheers mate!” chris opens up his door, helping you out of the car.
you head inside. chris leads the way.
he takes you inside, and offers you a glass of water.
“i’m alright chris.” you lick your lips.
“yeah. ok.” he takes you into his living room, sitting next to you on his couch.
“why are you so nervous?” you tease him.
“it’s just, you’re you. i don’t know.” he rubs his sweaty palms on his shorts.
“well i’m here aren’t i?” you ask him.
“i suppose so.” he responds.
you make eye contact for exactly 10 seconds before you lean in to kiss him, taking his lips in your own.
you climb into his lap, leaning down to kiss him.
he breaks up the kiss to take off his shirt. you run your nails down his chest, kissing his neck.
he pulls your top off your frame, leaving you in your bra.
“holy shit.” he stares at your chest, which is essentially eye level with him.
“you gonna take it off or what?” you run your fingers through his hair.
his fingers fumble with the back of your bra before eventually unhooking it.
he takes it off your body, discarding it on his floor. his hands run over your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples.
your head gets thrown back, your chest on full display for him.
“so you gonna fuck me now or what?” your look down at him.
“uh. would you like that?” his face turns beet red.
“no shit chris.” you roll your eyes playfully.
you take your body weight off of his lap so he can shrug down his shorts and boxers so that they pool down at his feet.
you start to grind against him and he bunches your skirt up at your waist.
the thin layer of your panties is the only thing left in between you.
“mmm chris. you wanna be inside of me?” you take his bottom lip in your mouth biting it lightly.
he nods frantically at you.
you slide your underwear to the side, taking him inside of you.
you take your time with it, slowly taking more and more.
he might not have been the biggest you’d ever had, but he stretched you out, his thick length filling you up.
he groaned underneath you, kissing your neck.
you start to increase your pace, moving up and down his shaft.
“oh fuck” he whines. he already felt so close.
you take a fistful of his hair, making him look up at you.
“you like that chris?” you make eye contact with him. it felt so sensual. so close.
he nods at you again.
“use your words sweetheart.” you roll your hips against him.
“yes, god yes.” his eyes shut, his head thrown back.
“you’re such a good boy chris.” your nails run down his chest, leaving red marks.
“i’m so close.” he whimpers, drool leaving his mouth.
“you wanna cum chris?” you take his face in your hand, making him look at you.
“please.” his pupils are shot.
you stick your thumb in his mouth and he starts to suck on it, maintaining eye contact with you.
“yeah? are you gonna be a good boy and finish inside of me?” you watch him suck on your thumb.
he nods, eyes looking up at you.
god he looked so cute like that. thumb in his mouth, about to cum.
he moans around your thumb, and you feel his dick twitch inside of you, emptying himself.
“now that wasn’t so hard was it?” you take your thumb out of his mouth, patting his cheek.
you start to get off of him but he grabs your hips, pulling you back onto his cock.
“not yet. need to be inside of you for a bit longer.” he groans. he loved the way you felt. he didn’t want you to ever get off of him.
he could fill you up like that forever.
“alright sweetheart.” you kiss his forehead. how on earth could you deny him?
chris buries his face into your neck, nuzzling his nose against you.
your hands run up and down his muscular back.
eventually he pulls back looking up at you.
“wait. you didn’t cum.” a disappointed look washes over his face.
“it’s ok love.” you smile down at him. “i really enjoyed it. i just can’t cum from penetration alone.”
“well i’m sure i know what you can cum from.” he smirks at you before grabbing your hips, pulling you off of his leaky cock.
before he takes you to his bedroom, he pulls your skirt down, leaving it in the living room.
chris picks you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. despite being slightly submissive underneath you, he was still quite happy to pick you up and carry you.
you giggle as he takes you into his bedroom, setting you down on his bed.
he’s stood over you, leaning down to kiss you.
“you wanna sit on my face?” chris says softly in your ear.
you nod, looking up at him. he lies down on his bed watching eagerly as you crawl in top of him.
eventually you’re hovering over his mouth, suddenly feeling quite self aware of how much you way.
“come on then love,” his says underneath you, “can’t do anything if you don’t sit down.”
his playful reassurance is enough for you to rest part of your weight of him, his mouth eagerly accepting you.
you hold onto his headboard, rolling your hips against him as he nips and sucks at your sex.
“oh god chris.” you whine.
chris grips your thighs, keeping you close to him.
he wanted you to cum all over his face, he’d got his fair share of his own bodily fluids, but he wanted yours.
he can tell you’re getting close, his lips wrapped around your clit.
“please chris.” it comes out in some sort of strangled whimper.
he groans against you and that does it for you, finishing on his face.
you try to life your body off of him, but his keeps your their, gripping your thighs.
“chris it’s too much.” you whine, he has you shaking, feeling overwhelmed.
but he won’t be satisfied until he’s had every last drop of what you have to offer.
he finally lets you go, his grip on your thighs releasing.
he grabs your hips, guiding you so that your chest is against his.
you lie down on him, body spent.
he warps his arms around you, holding you close.
“chris…” you say as you feel his hard length against your cunt.
“don’t worry, i won’t ask you to go again.” he says stroking your hair. “it’ll go down, or i’ll have a wank.” he says it like it’s nothing.
god you’d love to watch that. but you’d also love another round.
“mmm i could go again.”
“you don’t have to, honest. i don’t mind.” he caresses your back.
“chris please. i want to.” you kiss his neck.
before you know it chris has you flipped over so he’s on top of you.
“are you gonna be a good girl for me?” his dick is essentially teasing your entrance.
“mmm please chris.” you whine, wanting more.
chris pushes into you, hooking your legs over his hips.
you think he might turn into a drooling mess again, but this time he’s happy to take control.
“just like that for me.” chris groans as one of your hands reaches into his hair, pulling on it.
“fuck you feel so good.” chirs can’t get enough, thrusting into you over and over again.
his hand snakes in between your bodies, applying pressure to your clit.
you gasp at the feeling, clenching around chris.
that just makes him fuck you harder, increasing his pace.
“fuck chris.” he’s left you speechless, fucking you senseless.
it’s almost laughable how quickly the rolls were reversed. not that you were complaining, you’d happily have chris fuck you.
“you’re doing so well for me.” he groans as you run your nails down his back.
your chest rises up and down, panting as chris takes control.
your sweaty bodies are pressed against each other, and your run your hands along his supple skin.
god he was so fit. his muscular arms caged your body in a way that was so sensual.
everything about chris felt so intimate, so right. it was upsetting that you hadn’t done this sooner.
and now that you had a taste, you weren’t ever going to stop.
“come on. wanna feel you cum on my cock.” chris mumbles in your ear, still pounding into you.
“oh chris.” you whine, his voice puts you over the edge, and you hit your climax again, shaking around chris.
he’s not far behind, emptying himself inside of you again.
he kisses your neck, letting his body weight rest on you.
“mmm chris.” your arms wrapped around him.
“can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner.” he says, moving onto his back, pulling you on top of him.
he keeps his cock nestled inside of you, wanting to keep you like that for as long as he can.
he’d fall asleep like that if you’d let him.
“that was nice.” you plant a kiss on his lips.
“we should do that again sometime.” he starts stroking your hair, keeping your body weight on his frame.
you nod at him. you could have fallen asleep like that, you were so tired.
“maybe next time i’ll watch you have a wank.” you giggle. you loved watching him come undone.
“i just can’t believe you let me hit it raw.” he chuckles, its warm.
“anytime.” you respond as you start to drift off.
“you ready to sleep?” chris asks, brushing your hair out of your face.”
“please.” your eyes closing.
chris pulls you off of his cock again, watching as bodily fluid leaks out of you.
you shift next to him, curling up on your side with your back to him.
chris picks up on your body language, pulling you into him, becoming the big spoon.
“sleep well.” he kisses the back of your head, but you’re already out like a light, the warmth of sleep was too inviting.
chris drifts off soon after, feeling incredibly pleased with himself.
he knew you’d have to do this again, he was in far too deep.
Summary - Chris decides to film a drunk trivia night video and asks you to join in. He was shocked at how well you done and it only makes him love you more.
Based on this request
Pairing - Chris Dixon x Reader
Warnings - alcohol consumption, drunk Chris being a lover boy.
Word Count - 1.5k
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Chris had planned a new video for his channel, a trivia night with Bach, the Arthurs, George and of course, you. Trivia is kind of your thing, anything relating to literature, history, art, mythology is your area of expertise.
You were filming in your flat, and Chris had made it so that everyone had a whiteboard and pen. You’d have twenty seconds to write your answer, everyone flips their board at the same time and whoever gets it wrong has to drink. And you? You’re planning on being stone cold sober at the end of the video.
Not to be cocky or anything. You’re just really good at trivia and quizzes.
Once everyone has arrived and everything is all set up, Chris does the intro to the video. “Alright, Guys! Tonight is trivia night in the MD household. I’m joined by George, Bach, Arthur, Arthur, and my lovely girlfriend, Y/N. Each contestant has a white board and will have twenty seconds to write their answer down before everyone flips their board around at the same time. Anyone who gets it wrong, has to do a shot. Let’s get to it.”
You take the armchair, angling yourself so none of the boys could peek over and see your answers, because yes, it is that serious. The only girl in a room full of boys, you’re winning this thing for all the girls that watch the channel.
“Jeez, you’re taking this seriously,” George teases.
“I’m planning on only having, at most, two shots,” you grin, pouring a can of Pornstar Martini into your usual glass, then reaching for the pink shot glass and bottle of sambuca, “in fact, I’ll have a shot right now and that counts towards the two that I predict I’ll have by the end of the quiz.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so confident,” Chris says, looking at you with surprise.
You shrug, tipping the shot of sambuca into your mouth and chasing it with the cocktail.
“Okay, first question, guys and girl,” Chris starts, flicking to the first question, you’re already writing before he even reads it out. “Who painted “The Ambassadors”?”
“What kind of question is this?!” George exclaims, looking at the screen then back to his blank whiteboard.
Easy. Hans Holbein (the younger). Chris had taken you to see Six The Musical for your birthday last year, and obviously the song Haus of Holbein is a bop.
When the countdown hits zero, you all flip your boards over and the screen changes to the answer - Hans Holbein The Younger. Easy.
The boys had all made some sort of educated guess, writing down some of the greatest painters in history, but with the niche bit of knowledge you’d found out after Chris took you to see Six and you’d ended up down the Tudor rabbit hole and picked up bits and pieces from that.
“How do you know that?” Chris, for lack of a better word, looks flabbergasted.
“You took me to see Six for my birthday and there’s the song “The Haus of Holbein” and that’s who painted Anne of Cleves, and after we saw Six I went down a Tudor rabbit hole and well, I remembered the name of the painting and the artist.” You shrug, leaning over the coffee table to pour the boys a generous shot of tequila. “Drink up.”
The boys all take their shots. You dread to think how drunk they’re going to get, especially with how Arthur (TV) and Chris get when they drink together. You’ve had him come home after Pub Football with a bite mark on his bicep once thanks to Arthur. But, if anyone asks, you’ll deny that you bit the other one just to even them out.
“Next question, hopefully this one isn’t terrible.” Chris makes a face, “Which country has the most olympic medals in field hockey?”
“Oh!” You let out when you realise you know it. It’s not an obvious answer, but you remember hearing it at a pub quiz you were at with friends.
You quickly scribble India on to the board, smiling because you won’t have to take a shot.
“How do you know this?” Arthur Hill asks, writing something on his board. “Like, where do you get this knowledge?”
Chris pipes up as the timer runs out. “If you ask Y/N what we had for dinner yesterday she won’t remember but apparently she knows which country has the most olympic gold medals for field hockey.”
It’s true. You just remember the most random facts, or you end up down a rabbit hole at 3am with the weirdest YouTube videos when Chris is away for filming.
“I just remember things, I don’t know why,” you reply, sipping on the fruity cocktail.
You all flip your board around to an array of answers. You and Arthur TV got India, Chris guessed America, George and Arthur Hill guessed Canada. You and Arthur didn’ t have to do a shot, the others did.
You take out your phone, snapping a picture of Chris as he grimaces at the taste of tequila. That’s going in the folder you have of pictures of Chris pulling faces. Whether it’s when a video is paused at a weird time, or he makes a face at a TV show or a conversation. You always post them on his birthday.
“Do you have to?” Chris complains half heartedly.
“Yes. Yes I do.” You reply with a smile.
He just laughs and shakes his head at you, knowing you’ll never change and he wouldn’t want you to. Every correct answer you get, he looks at you with what might as well be cartoon hearts in his eyes. You have no doubt his editor or the fans will edit it once the video is out.
You go through another four or five questions, you get them all right. The boys compare you to how Stephen got all the quiz questions right in the North vs South video Chris done. The way Stephen was on fire, answering questions correctly and surprising everyone.
One of the questions had been about the hottest planet in the milky way. You’d written ‘Chris’s Ass’, crossed that out and written ‘Venus’ underneath to get the correct answer and a laugh.
Some of the questions are general knowledge, and given the fact that you’ve had one shot voluntarily and a can of pornstar martini, your answers are perfectly fine. The boys, however, have had quite a few shots each by now and are getting more and more tipsy as time goes on.
“I actually feel left out that I’m the only sober one,” you pout, grabbing a can of strawberry daiquiri to pour into your glass.
“Well, that’s just your own fault then, isn’t it?” Arthur Hill slurs, throwing back another shot after getting the last question wrong.
“I’ll just drink my daiquiri and catch up when I’ve won.” You smile, lifting your glass to cheers Chris’s shot glass as he downs his shot as well.
Chris reads out the next question, eyes glassy and a dopey smile on his face. “In Greek mythology, who is the goddess of health? Oh for fuck sake.”
He knows he’ll have to take another shot, but he looks at you, smiling because he knows you’ll get this right.
You write down the answer, Salus.
Again, the boys except Arthur TV do a shot.
There’s been such a range of questions that everyone is in a different state of drunkenness. Questions on literature, football (of course), history, and music. Chris, obviously smashes the football questions and thanks to him so did you.
The look he gives you every time you get a question right is nothing short of pure admiration and love. Like he’s fallen in love with you all over again.
“Last question!” Chris exclaims, changing the screen to the last question, “Who is the author of “The Colour purple”?”
“Oh my god, easy.” You chuckle, writing down the answer, Alice Walker.
It’s a split between the right and wrong answers. The Arthurs and you get it right. Chris writes Stephanie Meyer. Bach writes Steven King. George writes Jesus. They probably would know it had they not been in various states of drunkenness, or they just wanted an excuse to take another shot. Either way, you didn’t have to do any shots other than the one at the beginning you’d had voluntarily.
You won, celebrating, just enough to not be gloating. You feel quite proud that your, probably niche, knowledge has won you a challenge.
Chris presents you with a tiny, plastic trophy and signs off the video. Tipsy and giddy, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and presses a loud, exaggerated kiss to your cheek.
“This will probably be cut from the video, or maybe I’ll leave it in and let the comments call me a simp, who cares?” He slurs a little, leaning a bit of his weight on you, “but I want to say that I’ve never, never, been so in love with this girl right here. She is so smart, and so beautiful, and she absolutely smoked us on this quiz. Actually, I’m a bit, no, very turned on right now. That was so hot.”
“Okaaaay! That’s definitely getting cut from the video.”
Hi!! I was wondering if you could write a Soccer Saturday–themed fic with Chris?
The usual group (the Doncaster gang!) go out for another Soccer Saturday, but it’s absolutely hectic and packed this time. Because of how busy it is, some fans get a little too comfortable and make really inappropriate comments about the reader to Chris. He’s obviously not having it at all and shuts it down immediately.
It all ends up being caught on camera, and I’d love to see how fans react online afterwards as well.
bullshit ── ChrisMD⋆⭒˚.⋆
pairing: chris dixon x fem! reader
warnings/contents: catcalling, comments on female bodies, swearing etc.
Pm me to be on taglist <3
requests are open and i'm happy to write whatever, hope you enjoy xx
Soccer Saturday was rowdy this video. Not the usual shitty places it made you end up, this was bodies clashing together sharing heat, spilled pints, chanting so loud the windows it hurt your ears. Every pub was worse than the last, and by the time you’d squeezed into the third one, it felt like the entire city had decided this was the place to be.
Chris was in his element, arm slung loosely around your shoulders as Arthur tv shouted something incomprehensible, all of you could TELL this man was shitfaced. Bach was arguing with George after he knocked his pint glass, Becky had her camera up already filming you and chris wiggling her eyebrows as Arthur Hill was tagging along with her.
You leaned in closer to Chris just to hear him, and that’s when you heard it.
“Fucking hell,” a bloke behind you said, not even attempting to be quiet. “She’s got a nice rack, hasn’t she?”
Another voice chimed in immediately. “Top shelf, that. Didn’t clock Chris was pulling like that.”
Your stomach dropped, you froze, that awful split second where you’re deciding whether to pretend you didn’t hear it, whether it’s even worth reacting.
Chris didn’t hesitate at all. He turned around slowly, jaw tight, eyes dead serious.
“What did you just say?” he asked slurring his words slightly.
The lads laughed, already halfway pissed, clearly thinking they were being funny. One of them grinned, gesturing vaguely in your direction.
“Relax, mate. Just appreciating what’s in front of us. Can’t blame us that she’s got-”
“No,” Chris cut in sharply. “You don’t get to do that.”
The laughter faltered.
“She’s not part of your conversation,” he continued, voice firm and cutting straight through the noise of the pub. “You don’t comment on her body. You don’t talk about her like she’s a fucking object.”
Someone nearby went quiet. Becky’s camera dipped but didn’t stop recording.
One of the lads scoffed. “It’s a compliment relax, I thought youtubers were suppose' to be chill, you're a fuckin' prick.”
Chris stepped closer to the man, expression unreadable. “No, it’s you being a creep,” he said. “You're taking the piss now, just shut the fuck up and get back to your pint, okay?”
The bloke opened his mouth again but Chris didn’t let him.
“Actually,” he added, “Get out the fucking pub”
There was a beat of silence, the kind that makes people suddenly very aware of where they are. The pub owners clocked it immediately and moved in, hands already guiding the group away. One of them tried to protest, but no one was backing him up now.
Chris turned back to you the second they were gone.
“You alright?” he asked quietly, thumb brushing your arm.
You nodded, breath shaky but steadying. “Yeah. Just… gross.”
He frowned. “Yeah. I know.”
He pulled you closer, his body instinctively blocking you from the rest of the crowd as if daring anyone else to try.
You didn’t realise how much of it had been caught until later that week. Back home, showered and with a hot chocolate, you were curled up on the sofa scrolling when the clip popped up everywhere at once.
Clear audio with almost clear context. Youtube, tiktok, instagram and twitter had fucking field days
@user6: nahhh who do they think they are?? chris handled that perfectly
@user14: this is exactly what women deal with in pubs every weekend. glad he shut it down honestly stan chris always!
@user1: “don’t comment on her body” LOUDER FOR THE BACK
@user8: seeing a famous doesn’t give you the right to be a weirdo btw some people are fucking disgusting
user9: i feel so bad for her omg i hope shes okay, so shit when this stuff happens
Chris watched a tiktok thirst edit of that video, scoffed softly, and locked his phone.
“Internet’ll move on tomorrow,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. “But I meant every word.”
You smiled, leaning into him.
"Thank you Chris, I love you, all 4'11 of you" You grinned "I regret it now" He chucked a pillow at you playfully.
Could I make a request? Chris gets progressively more handsy with reader while filming a pub golf
HANDS TO MYSELF — chris dixon.┊ ➶ ｡˚ °𖥔 ݁ ˖
– hey anon, ofc my requests are always open! thank u for this request and feel free to send more xx here u go
backstory: you’ve been dating chris for almost a year and a half now and it’s definitely the most exciting relationship you’ve ever been in, from watching him from the sidelines, watching him record videos in his room — it was finally time for his fans to see you.
you’re in munich for your first pub golf video and your first ever on-screen appearance on chris’ channel.
-
—“TODAY WERE IN MUNICH where we will consume a beverage at each of nine pubs. welcome back to football pub golf everyone!” chris boomed with excitement as everyone cheered and clapped.
“also joined by my beautiful girlfriend yn, this is her first ever appearance on my channel so you guys get to see what she’s like absolutely battered.” he grinned. it faded to a vignette screen with the words ‘she’s a very big lightweight’ before cutting to the montages of the two teams.
you, chris and harry were on the england team whilst george, arthur and isaac(italianbach) was on the germany team.
the man, stephentries at the ref.
-
it cuts to interviews prior to the pubs where chris asks “do you enjoy pub golf?”
harry: “no. i mean- uh, well i do”
arthur: “not really, no. last time i passed out on harry’s sofa at 7:00 pm so..”
chris: “the last time we did pub golf it was probably the most drunk i’ve ever been in my entire life and there was a lot of footage the footage didn’t see.”
y/n: umm.. no comment, i’ve never done this video before and chris has held me at gunpoint to do this video so i didn’t really have a choice”
–“guys that’s not true!”
—“what do you think of stephen tries as our referee today?”
george: “uhh absolute calamity, dunno how the hell that happened”
isaac: “prick.”
y/n: oh stephen is a lovely man! throws me off that he’s very ginger though …
stephen: “it’s a bold call, last time he somewhat embarrassed himself, now he’s taken a backward step and realised he had a problem.”
-
stephen goes ahead and explains the rules, nodding your head as you slowly get a better understanding to the game, made much more sense than chris frantically trying to explain how the cane worked.
FIRST PUB—
chris and i sat beside each other having a little chat as pints were served. we all had our pints, i quickly downed my first pint, shaking the shivers out of my body as chris rubbed my back gently. i knew i was fucked when i felt the alcohol kick in not long after. not to mention that i haven’t had a full breakfast which made it 1000x worse.
SECOND PUB —
after arriving to the second pub, i sat in between harry and chris as chris explained the category game we were playing.
“first category is, ksi songs - features included” stephen says as he handed the drink to harry. in all honesty i had to name off the top of my head but i knew i wasn’t gonna last that long. as the game went on, arthur ended up losing — downing the first pint. “harry you start us off again, common names for boobs - go” i couldn’t help but snicker, knowing already that this round was gonna take ages.
THIRD PUB —
we arrive at the next pub, the pints set in front as chris explained the next game called ‘shot for shot’
“so does that mean i get to bully you?” i joked. “the other team y/n! fucks sake” he groaned, harry and george laughing at my comment.
after a game of banter and bickering, i didn’t really get targeted that much but when i did, i quickly fired back — george and i having a little laugh when he read out his lists of insults to chris.
FOURTH PUB—
“another shot for the little man please!” stephen announced as he held up a yellow card at chris, chris rolling his eyes since nobody laughed at his horrible joke. “should we just play fortnite mobile with all of us doing a battle royal were all of us join the same lobby and the last one standing—“
“oh my god i think you should stop talking” chris intruded arthur, stephen removing the shot while arthur frowned which made me feel a little bit bad. soon after, the waitress came with about 5 big pints in her hand as she set them down on our table. “oh i’m so fucked” i said as i shook my head. “oh no, oh no” chris said repeatedly as his eyes followed the foam running down the side of the pint glass.
“welcome to pub four everyone” we all passed the beer around, we all had the pints in front of us as we got ready for the next game, splitting the G. thankfully there was rubber bands around it to make it a little easier, but even so — i wasn’t all that bad with my splitting the g. we watched isaac split it perfectly before downing the rest of the drink, gaining no point for him.
chris did it next, harry and i telling him to keep going as he continued to drink, george and stephen making teasing comments. chris ended up not doing it which made him gain 2 points, chris downing it ever so slowly. harry next, unfortunately overdoing it which gained harry 2 points as well. as the others did their drinks, it was finally my turn. “y/ns usually good at this so i’m sure she’ll do fine” chris shrugged, everyone watching me as i lifted the glass up and started taking sips, after a few seconds i set the drink down, waiting for the fizz and foam to settle a bit which revealed i split it perfectly in the middle, harry and chris clapping before chris leaned up maybe a bit too close as he took a look at my pint. “see! she’s class” chris grinned from ear to ear, feeling his left hand on my thigh as we watched arthur do his turn.
FIFTH PUB—
“awh guys i just remembered we were having such good fun but woman suffer so much in menstruation!” arthur says in disbelief whilst we all laughed, chris shook his head “what a little dweeb” he snickers. “uh? rude, arthur’s not wrong yknow” i nudged chris’ arm, tutting at him jokingly. “aw i’m sorry darling” he teased back, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close unexpectedly, i totally realise that we’re both probably fucked now.
“right everyone, hi youtube!“ chris said sweetly as he waved to the camera — harry and i sharing a weird look before all of us bursted into laughter at his strange comment.
“basically, we’re swapping alcohol with a big girthy german sausage and you have to eat it in the fewest bites possible!” chris explained as one of the waiters came out with a plate of sausages, handing out one to each of us. “hmm, i dunno how that’s gonna fit in my mouth” i murmur to myself, chris and i sharing a glance “dont act like you don’t know how to take a sausage” he teased before piss laughing. “i heard that!” stephen said in disgust, pointing at trh two of us which made me giggle.
after arthur did his attempt, harry almost dying on us, isaac stuffing his face, george gagging like it’s a cock while chris and i did a cheers and shoving out face in sausage, trying not to laugh. stephen giving chris an extra shot for all of us. “oh thanks a lot chris, we just evened with them” i rolled my eyes as we made our way to the next area. “what did you say?” chris said before sprinting towards me, i let out a loud squeal as i try and run away from him — curse his little speedy legs, he caught up to me, grabbing my waist from the back and pulling me in close, my back against his chest as he lifted me off the ground as i laughed. “chris put me down!” i exclaimed while giggling
“i think chris gets incredibly horny when he’s drunk” george hummed as he spoke to isaac, “yeah, oh yeah - he’s all g-spot that guy” isaac nodded. “huh?” chris asked — looking back at the two behind him. “oh nothing!” george grinned.
as we kept walking, chris couldn’t stop touching me, wether it was his hands on my waist, his arms around my shoulder or holding my hand as we continued walking. “you’re incredibly clingy when you’re drunk y’know that right?“ i smiled. he shrugged, doing the little pouty face he does as his green eyes stared into mine. “well i can’t help that i want to hold my girl” he grinned. “ohh never say that ever again.” i laughed, pulling away from him which ended up him chasing me once again.
SIXTH PUB —
we entered the seating area inside since it was getting too cold — we watched arthur and chris get ready for their shots before chris does the most absolute stupidest thing ever.
“does this count as a red card?” chris tilts his head as he poured the shot onto the floor. i face-palm myself and groan. “fuck sake chris!” harry and i shaking our head in disappointment.
“red card!“ stephen stood up, taking out the red card from his bag. “we’re so losing” i mumble, taking out my phone as my vision started delaying by the tiniest bit — i try to focus on not puking up my stomach hopefully as i scanned through unread texts and whatnot. chris resting his head on my shoulder.
after a game of never have i ever, we make our way to pub number 5… i think.
SEVENTH PUB —
we arrived, sitting down and chris’ hands immediately wrapping around my shoulder as we all played the 10 to 1 game, harry may or may not have cheated but either way, arthur still had his shot to do.
the next challenge was a try not to laugh challenge, i was known for my shit humour so i feared i might fail us. i held beer in my mouth as i watched arthur, george and isaac tried to make me laugh, failing horribly — i just shook my head at the shit attempt.
after harry gives stephen some back shots — the drink spills over george and everyone stands up and goes to grab some tissues.
EIGHTH PUB —
we walked around the streets, drunk and loud as we made our way to the second last pub — chris not shutting up at all.
“he either acts really gay or is just so clingy to his girlfriend” george raised a brow.
we arrived into the eighth pub, playing snap, arthur getting a red card and downing shots to the individual who loses. arthur doing more painful shots, looking completely out of it before we left, arthur being the last to leave, he broke a shot glass. chris grabbing my hand and dragging me to arthur before telling stephen. i go on chris’ back, almost falling off as we headed to finally, our last pub.
NINETH PUB—
“whoever wins this, wins” stephen stated.
“lock the fuck in” i murmured, the game starting, as i quickly down my pint, fighting back the urge to spew my guts out before clinking my glass to harry as he started drinking his pint. we were in the lead for a good few moments but when it turns to chris, it went downhill.
unfortunately after our loss, i felt likibg dying. running to the nearest bush and throwing up. chris follows behind me, holding back my hair and rubbing my back. “don’t worry, we’re done now okay?” he said softly — slightly slurred but it’s not like i was any better anyway.
he wrapped his arm around my waist as i leaned on his shoulder, as he did the outro to his youtube video.
“do you enjoy pubgolf?”
harry: still no
y/n: i don’t think i can handle this — i just want to go home
chris: d’you know what, i handled my alcohol tolerance
george: i had a very good time, we came through in the end
isaac: i had a great time but we got let down by arthur cause he kept getting red cards and yellow cards.
arthur: best german experience ever!
stephen: lots of disgusting tactics, i got bend over a bench so
there was a quick clip at then end, you and chris having a little chat before he swiftly grabs your chin and kisses you, catching you by surprise whilst the boys cheer and clap and having a little laugh.
