This is part 1 of 3 parts! I do recommend reading these in order to make them make sense lol
The Sky Caged
Chiteni squirmed as Urianger swiftly snipped off the end of a broken feather, anticipating some form of pain. It was thankfully absent.
“Hast thou been plucking them off?” The elezen carefully set the broken shaft down, his expression concerned.
“I wasn't really sure what else to do with the…the broken ones. There's just so many. And they hurt when they…rub up against things…” Chiteni confessed, his words staggered and difficult. It had been a trial enough to accept Urianger's help fixing and cleaning them after he decided to stop binding them, but now he braced himself for a lecture.
“Ah, understood.” The elezen quietly went back to snipping without a word. His manner of speaking was reassuring in its brevity - as though he meant what he'd said.
Chiteni turned slightly from where he sat to look at his friend. They were in a temporary room in Bestways Borough, sitting at the central table. It was hard to tell what time of day it was up here on the moon, but it felt like some point in the evening. Small neon loporrit-shaped lights adorned the table, lighting it in pinks, blues, and yellows; and Urianger sat behind Chiteni with a sharp pair of clippers, a growing pile of large, snipped feathers resting beside him on the table as he attempted to help with Chiteni's wings. Neither was really sure what to do aside from work on relieving the constant pain they gave him, first and foremost.
“You're not going to tell me that was wrong? Sometimes it ends up just…hurting more, honestly.”
“I am without the scope of knowledge to approve or disapprove of thine actions.” Urianger put the clippers down, meeting Chiteni's eye. “Such queries would be more worthy of an expert's company, I should think.” He smiled. “Full glad am I to see them at all.”
“Someone like…Erenville, maybe…” Chiteni turned away again, thinking; his ears burned from Urianger's unanticipated softness. It should not have surprised him thus, yet it always did. The carefulness with which his friends regarded one another. “Someone who understands beasts. And the like.” There was a faint hesitation as the word left his lips. Beasts. As he presently realized what he was comparing himself to. His shoulders sagged slightly as a wave of difficult emotions weighed down on him.
“Mankind are as beasts, much as we fancy ourselves at a distance,” he suggested lightly. “What doest thou feel about the comparison?”
“I…” Chiteni paused. He kept opening his mouth to respond, but different answers kept mixing together before he could decide upon one. Whether it was a humbling comparison, an insulting one, a reasonable one. The tribes of beastmen were called that to belittle them compared to humans. But beasts were also graceful and to be admired…or to be feared. “A lot of things,” he said after a moment. “I know that isn't the most satisfying answer.”
“To assume one can simply bring to bear the entire breadth and scope of all the fauna of the star within a single sentence - thou needst not fear a failure to do so,” Urianger rested a hand on Chiteni’s wing gently. “Tis a reasonable limitation of language.”
“My father named me after beasts,” Chiteni ventured. “We used wolves to help protect our sheep. We trained them, raised them from pups, tied collars of bells and beads around their necks so we could discern their movements even in the dark. When I left home, I trained one on the mountainside.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “I never saw her as lesser for what she was.”
“Then thou needst not find insult in the term,” Urianger continued sifting through the feathers. “I do however, countenance caution in the treatment of thy body. For it is thine.” He paused before continuing, “It is good to see you on the mend.”
“I'm sorry for putting you all through that,” Chiteni looked down, fist clenched. “When we get back I've a lot of work to do.”
“It's called ‘imping,’” Erenville said calmly as he walked around observing Chiteni's wings. “May I?”
“Uh, sure. If it would help.” Chiteni had been exercising his wings every day as best he could. First, in the water. Until he could not bear to be submerged any longer. He'd grown to feel a pall of anxiety every time he felt the cold touch seep into his feathers. The weight of his wings pulling him down. Even when his feet could touch the bottom, that irrational fear slowly crept into his mind as time wore on, and he dare not push too hard. But it had helped him learn how to feel the new musculature on his back. Helped him learn to move them. He could prop them up and fold them against himself with relative ease, now. And the muscles were getting stronger, more pronounced.
Erenville lifted Chiteni's right wing as he stood beside him, examining it carefully. He gently lifted it up and down, as if watching the motion. He traced the edges of the longest feathers with his fingers as if trying to determine their shape without their missing segments, and he gently squeezed the tops and ends as if searching for thinner sections.
The breeze in Labyrinthos was chilly in the morning air: perfectly mimicked as it was from the world above. He would still marvel at this place on occasion. The mechanical sun trapped in a cage of glass and golden metal; the sky but panes of light carefully positioned so as to perfectly suggest freedom was but an ilm beyond the borders of its latticed surface. The ‘torches’ - as best he could understand them - were like braziers of glittering energy; aether gently flowing out in an effervescent turquoise shimmer. His eyes wandered as Erenville quietly poked and prodded. The gleaner's thoughtful silence was nearly deafening.
“Could you…walk me through what's on your mind?” Chiteni asked hesitantly. “I'd like to know more about them, myself.”
“Certainly,” Erenville smiled. “Always interested in sharing rare finds, if you don't mind my insinuation.”
Chiteni laughed, “So I'm somekind’ve exotic creature to you?”
“In…more ways than one,” Erenville mused. “I was wondering if your wings could sustain you in flight. With some magical augmentation that would of course be easily possible, but I'm interested to know if they could do so without assistance. So I'm looking over their structure - trying to determine what avians are most similar and how they learn and achieve success in the air.” Erenville went back to poking at the wing. “Different cloudkin use different methods - each has strengths and weaknesses. You mentioned water is a problem? So it is unlikely your feathers have the proper oils coating them that are found on fishing varieties.”
“Saltwater,” Chiteni said quickly. Quietly. “Saltwater is the worst.” He looked down.
“That actually helps to know, truly.” Erenville offered in comfort. He squeezed the top of the wing, “These smaller feathers are largely intact, I see. I'm glad they are not broken. These are the coverts. Lesser coverts, for these small ones.” He gently ran his gloved fingers over the smaller, rounded feathers. “And the ones on the edge around this bend are called marginals. The structure is often different, but you can identify similar feathers in most any type of bird.”
Chiteni was trying not to squirm with all the touching. “So these are…protective?” he ventured carefully.
“Just so!” Erenville looked at him with a fascinated smile. “I'd say they've done a fine job, holding up as they have.” His hands moved past the midsection to the feathers along Chiteni's back. “May I?”
Uncomfortable but wanting to know more, Chiteni nodded. Erenville gently peeled open a little bit of the ridge of Chiteni's cotton shirt, running a finger down the edges. “These are tertials. They provide shape and stability, to keep it simple.” His gloved hands caught on one of the scars beneath the feathery canopy, and his hand quickly retreated. “They…protect the skin. Where it meets the rest of the feathers. They are also doing their job well.” He offered a halfhearted smile. “My apologies. In my pursuit of knowledge…sometimes I forget the finer things.”
“It's fine,” Chiteni sighed. “I'm here to learn, after all.” He gestured to his wingtips. “These longer feathers definitely suffered the most. Will they…do they grow back, do you think?”
“Have you ever molted?”
Chiteni's eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
Erenvilled laughed. Chiteni was taken aback by the sound but seeing Erenville so motivated and focused made him smile in spite of his confusion.
“The only way to replace these feathers is to shed them, which we call ‘molting.’ And if you have no idea what I mean, you may not regularly do so. Which means they may take months - perhaps well over a year to return.”
Chiteni's ears flattened. “I'm not sure why you'd bother to wonder if I could fly, knowing that. They're so…ragged. Certainly in no shape for the air.”
“That is where the imping I mentioned comes in “ Erenville proffered. “Imping is a transplant. We take feathers from donor birds - preferably the same species or ones that share a similar wing structure - and we plant them in the needed areas. Though…I do not think we could find any of your kin to donate,” he smiled wryly.
“Very funny, wiseass,” Chiteni shoved him.
Erenville smiled and lifted the end of Chiteni's wing slightly. “Locating birds of similar structure would prove a bit of a journey. These are similar to a crow. But there are no crows big enough to meet our needs…There are some cloudkin in Othard which come to mind. We have a few specimens here in Labyrinthos but it is unlikely we have enough to fix your problem. We'd need to procure more. This way we don't take too much from any one donor.”
“I might know some people who would be willing to help. If you've got time for an expedition?”
Author's Note: I know this isn't the fight I promised, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing things before I attempt that, first! This is 1 of 2 parts I've had sitting in my drafts as like...half-chewed notes. I'll get the other half done soon! I was hoping to just do it all in 1 take but I realize that things don't need to be crazy long, and sometimes I don't need to trim the dialogue so hard. I can just let all the words be said for once lol!
I hope this is enjoyable - or at least informative on just a bit. I wanted to have a little fun with it. Maybe touch on WHY Erenville and Chiteni are as comfortably close as they are. But also just get down to brass tacs about some specifics on things concerning his wing shape & structure. Just some silly physiology stuff! But I realize it's easier to see in your mind's eye the more you know about it. Assuming you dont have aphantasia like me lmao
So recently I've been trying to get a friend to tell me more about their WoLs, but ofc they are UNBEARABLY NICE [you know who you are] and insist that I share stuff about mine too in return. So I'll start this 1 character at a time (I actually have 4 FFXIV characters!) and I'll slowly talk about them with reblogs. If I'm understanding tumblr right lol But I'll post these kinda slowly
I'll try to add pictures for them at least, so I'll hafta log in and take a few, especially for Ibahko and Ira. I don't play them often but they also have stories! But first a little info about how I see my 'WoLs:'
So I don't actually differentiate my WoLs from myself, their own story, or the MSQ. Some actions or events might seem contrary, but I don't see contradictions as like...a break in their natrative. My characters exist primarily in my mind and that means that they're a bit nebulous by nature.
Chiteni is the easiest for me to make an example of, here: let's take the DRK questline in general. He IS the WoL in his story. The one in MSQ. Those events do happen in his story - including meeting Fray and Sid and Rielle. HOWEVER in his personal canon he wasn't trained by them. He had another teacher entirely. And he met his Shadow when he was young - a little ways into his 8th summer. These two things kind've conflict because they are both his canon. The DRK questline is just as real to him as the headcanon I made. I see no reason I can't just have both just because some folks find that confusing! He isn't 'trained by a knight then by Fray later' he is trained by them separately and simultaneously. They are BOTH his first teachers. You could see them as divergent paths if that makes it easier. Or even alternate timelines. Whatever makes sense to you.
But just as I refer to him as 'me/he/we;' he has his own story, he's the character in the game's story, AND he is my avatar that I play as. These things don't exist to cancel each other out; they exist simultaneously and separately whenever I want them to.
I at least want to establish this before I start to talk about them, because I know people feel very differently about the importance of actually being the WoL vs saying like..."My character isn't actually the WoL." All 4 of my characters are, and though their personal stories may conflict with the canon plot, I just want to make it known all of it is still part of their stories. I don't feel the need to say my characters aren't the WoL because like...'how can Chiteni be trained by Fray AND the knight from his childhood if he's been a DRK since a young age?' These are stories and they're meant to bring me happiness. The cake isn't real. I can have it and eat it, too. Everyone can. Contradictions don't bother me because my mental landscape isnt made of solid ground, anyway. Why should their stories be founded upon such?
That's not to say I mean disrespect if it matters to you, ofc! My characters are me/them/us simultaneously at all times and that's just how I like it. If there's a contradiction I honestly am not bothered by it. So with that said, I'll post about them in response to this soon! I hafta think of what I want to actually SAY tho lol
But I'll be going over both headcanon and MSQ so I just want to be sure nobody is confused
“My identity,” Chiteni muttered, clenching his fist.
“I'm afraid I didn't hear that, upstart,” Retsarra taunted, tilting his head up slightly so his bangs fell in an appealing way for the camera underneath the brim of his cap. It sounded harsh, but Chiteni knew the Cruiserweight champion was simply off his guard looking for a handhold.
Chiteni looked at the miqo'te, his mismatched eyes hard. “The thing that matters most to me. My identity. Not titles or actions but…my experiences. The steps I've taken to get here.”
Retsarra seemed thoughtful, his amber eyes flashing. “How do you intend to bargain something so nebulous?” his question seemed genuine, a quizzical hand on his chin. “That's not something so easily given up. So what do you plan to do? When you lose?”
Chiteni pulled his regulator from his pocket, proffering it forward. “Forfeit my memories. I suppose.” He pocketed the device. “But I won't be losing - least of all to a man who won't move to save those who matter to him,” Chiteni said the last bit coldly, fangs flashing and straightening himself as his tail lashed with challenge.
Retsarra bristled slightly, but he quickly regained his full composure with that winning smile. “I reckon your audience will enjoy the match, Honey,” he turned to look at the cameras as he spoke. He tipped his head courteously as he moved to walk away, stopping at the last moment. “I look forward to learning more about you in the ring, Chiteni.” He glanced over his shoulder with a sly grin. “One-on-one so nobody gets in our way, I should think.”
“I suppose it's my turn to ask what you mean by that?”
Retsarra didn't pivot to look at Chiteni. “You and that kid Silver use the same soul.” Chiteni stiffened but Retsarra continued, seeming not to notice, “That cauahepya. I'd like to see how it fares against my Fenrir. It sounds like a fine matchup.”
“I don't use feral souls to fight,” Chiteni countered, still rattled.
Now he had Retsarra's attention. The Cruiserweight champion cocked his head slightly, looking Chiteni up and down. His amber eyes seemed to truly see him for the first time. Not merely as the person trying to get between him and the president but…as if Retsarra were imagining the fight already. There was a spark of something - a glimmer of his will to live, perhaps. A crack in his armor as he stated plainly, “You will if you want to fight me.” He spun and trotted off, shooting over his shoulder, “You want it as much as I do.”
Chiteni sat on the edge of the building, his legs hanging over the side. He turned Silver's regulator - his regulator - over in his palm, watching the soft violet light play across its smooth surface. He thought about waking up in Origen's facility: wet and shaking from being submerged in that tank, his sodden wings tied behind him. Of everyone crowding around him happy to see him while his heart raced from the noise and lights and the strange duality he felt. Of reaching for the regulator; its contours alien but somehow a comforting presence in his hand…
“It is no ordinary creature,” a familiar voice resonated behind Chiteni, shaking him from his thoughts. Erenville was hanging off the side of the building, his arms resting on the roof. He climbed the rest of the way up, standing over his friend with a placid expression. “That soul. Retsarra thinks it is just a cauahepya.”
“I heard it was called a ‘lugarhoo.’ What is that? Is it a familiar name to you?”
“It's more of a folktale,” Erenville grunted as he sat down next to Chiteni, his gaze turned out over the city. “I see why you come up here, the view is quite amenable.”
“Erenville.” Chiteni raised an eyebrow.
“It's got many similar names. But it is a bloodthirsty creature. A massive silver cauahepya that some say was once a man. Or it could turn into a man. Or mimic human speech.” He shrugged. “It really depends on who is telling the story. In some tales in order to defeat it you need a cloudy night because it is impervious if the moonlight touches its fur. Sometimes its power is stored in one of its eyes. Other times you can only see it through a keyhole or a special device.”
“So it's not real, then,” Chiteni sighed.
Erenville seemed thoughtful, his head tilted slightly as the sound of vehicles droning by through the air filled the space between his words. “Myths are based on…mistranslations. Or displacement. Differing accounts may simply be the result of different experiences. The axiom of existence isn't something that is as simple as whether we have discovered something officially.” He seemed focused, looking at Chiteni's regulator. “I don't think you can call it a myth if you're holding it in your hand, however.”
Chiteni leaned back, collapsing onto his wings with a puff, the hard electrope surface cool on his back. “So you're saying - in the most roundabout way possible - that there's a bloodthirsty, evil-eyed, moon-blinked, can-only-see-it-through-a-keyhole, man-dog in this thing. Or it could be none of those things at all. Is that right?”
“Well theoretically yes.”
“You're about as fun to talk to as my Master, Erenville.” Chiteni sighed, propping himself up on his elbows. “Have you ever traced folklore back to an actual creature?” Erenville's trade was entirely in creatures. Chiteni himself had met a myth or two, but never intentionally out of pursuit of it.
“Not many times, but I've had the pleasure more than once, yes.”
“How many of the tales were true?”
“Not a one, my friend,” he smiled, and Chiteni exaggeratedly collapsed onto his back once more. Erenville's quiet laugh wound its way through the temperate air and into the drone of machinery that permeated Solution Nine. Chiteni smiled in response, a tired hand over his face.
“Why say something to pique my curiosity and then inform me you have no idea if anything about it is even true?”
Erenville paused a moment, causing Chiteni to look up at him.
“Erenville?”
“You intend to fight Retsarra on his terms, don't you?”
“I…” Chiteni trailed off, looking away. “Yes.”
“In order to make a tale such as that, the creature in that regulator must be long-lived. And clearly you struggle to mesh with it - do not act as though we were unaware.” Erenville's tone hardened. “You come back to them and then hurt yourself trying to help. You don't think they aren't concerned? That you'd do so again just for a challenge?” Erenville turned to him, frowning. “It is not a vidraal, but you cannot control it, can you?”
“I can. I know I can.”
“Are you trying to convince me?” The latter half of his statement hung in the air, unsaid.
“I've used it several times, ok? And I've shown no signs of psychonekrosis, either.”
“Silver used it. You only have twice.”
“That's the same thing, Erenville!” Chiteni growled, getting up. “You only came here to try and stop me from doing this. I'll admit: Retsarra was right. I am doing it for me. Because I want to.” Chiteni's tail lashed angrily. “But not because I want to fight him. I don't.” He exhaled, looking out over the skyline. “He…reminds me of myself a bit. That apathy. He doesn't care if he lives or dies because he doesn't even know he is alive.”
Erenville sat quietly, simply listening. He clearly wasn't judging just because he didn't approve: it was more as though he were watching an animal's behavior. An ear twitched slightly.
“He has so much and he doesn't even care,” Chiteni spat.
“You're mad at yourself. Not him, then.”
Chiteni sighed, relaxing. “I guess so.” His eyes met Erenville's. “I need to talk to him. And if this is how to do it, I have to.”
“Is it worth the risk of losing?” Erenville asked. He seemed concerned, his cool facade set aside.
“You're doing this for yourself, too,” Chiteni said quietly, looking down at him. The sincere concern hung in the air.
“It's…simple to find people. They're complicated, unlike animals, yes. But they have a tendency to return to familiar places all the same.” Very matter-of-fact. But also not an answer. Just an explanation of why they were on this roof together.
“Look at it this way,” Chiteni ventured, “If I can't handle it, there's more to worry about than me losing. But…I can't explain it - I don't think this thing is any of the stories you told me, either,” he looked at the regulator, warm in his palm. Lights off.
“You think it's peaceful?”
“Use your own logic: how did it live so long undetected if it was as savage as the stories say? Surely it would have been hunted.”
“Or perhaps none lived to say otherwise.”
“Then where do folktales even come from?” Chiteni closed his eyes. “You came here to gauge whether or not I was thinking this through. If I knew the risk I was taking. But some things are worth the risk. Everything worth doing is hard - you know that.”
“I suppose. Far be it from me to stop you when even those closest to you have admitted to a lack of results in that field,” Erenville said bitterly.
Chiteni stiffened, taken aback. “I didn't know- I'm sorry, Erenville. I'm listening. I've just made up my mind. We have to help these people. Or they're all going to end up dead or like Hector.”
“I should be the one apologizing,” Erenville puffed, deflating. He offered a resigned smile, “I shouldn't have doubted your intentions. After all you've done. It was wrong of me.”
Chiteni shook his head, sitting back down. “No I…you would've been right. Before…” he hesitated, starting again, “I've never been a pacifist, if I'm being honest.” He placed a hand over his heart, looking down and exhaling. “I would have been doing it for the fight, not for Retsarra or Hector or…anyone. Once upon a time, anyway.” Chiteni ran a hand through his hair anxiously, meeting Erenville's watchful eyes. “You're right to doubt my reasons. I'm the one who's changed.”
“You should try to speak with him.”
“I did - I really tried once already. This is the only language he seems interested in,” Chiteni narrowed his eyes. “A part of me is hoping he'll put up a fight for what I did to his best friend.”
“Hector didn't exactly leave room for diplomacy,” Erenville said dryly. “You couldn't have talked him down.”
“Then let's not suggest further pressure would work here, either,” Chiteni shook his head. “No. I will beat him at his own game - with his own rules. But I promise I won't use my regulator unless I absolutely have to. I just…might have to.”
“I trust you,” Erenville said calmly, not looking at him. His eyes wandered towards the streets below. He seemed at ease now that he'd spoken his mind.
Chiteni was surprised, but he relaxed, looking out over the city, himself. Even with everything that had happened lately, the rhythmic pulse of the lights and the steady bustle of the people moving on with their day-to-day lives seemed like an inevitability. He understood at once why Retsarra might downplay his existence here. In this unforgiving, ever-moving landscape of metal and light - where lives were commodities and your very essence was currency. He thought about all there was to fight for, however. It wasn't as if this place was dead or dying. There are always arms reaching out if you simply have the will to grasp for them.
“I can't lose, then.”
Author's Note: Yay, another storyyy! I'm gonna build this one up slowly, I think. I really want it to have that sort've narrative oomph you can only get from waiting patiently for something lmao But I really am sincerely looking forward to the conclusion of the Arcadion story. This has been my favorite raid series by MILES, and I've gotten so much out of it. I don't care how many people seem to hate Retsarra and Eutrope's relationship: leave that at the door because we are here to enjoy beating sense into this stupid catboy
Storge lay in a heap of feathers on the gravelly floor, Chiteni carefully waving the others back with a gentle hand. Ryne's eyes met his and he returned her gaze sternly, his mouth set in a hard, silent line. He would broker no argument.
~~~
She remembered her offer: to take some of the Light in his stead. Surely with her immunity she would fare just as well as he! It was a way she could help save her world. This wasn't even the Scions’ fight, and still they meant to protect her - when she had long since thought she'd proven herself worthy of her place by their sides.
But Chiteni had reprimanded her. She had never seen his dissent so swift and firm. His displeasure with her proposal had been obvious, and his reasons were clear.
“You should fight as you are. Not as who others wish you to be.”
She recalled how he and Thancred had gotten into a heated argument that night. She'd never heard the Warrior of Darkness so angry before. His manner of speaking was typically rather soft and reassuring, but this time his words fell hard and concise like hammers striking an anvil; their tone still even and quiet but with iron backing them. Thancred shouted in reprisal, the distance blissfully muffling the verbage; but she was concerned the two might come to blows as she watched their silhouettes dance in the lamplight against the wall from afar. Ryne knew what Chiteni had meant - that these two long-time friends were fighting because of her.
After their bout they had stormed off their separate ways; Ryne watching from the stairs as Chiteni staggered, leaning against a wall for support, breathless as he went to his room to rest. The cool night air blew through her hair, its chill gripping her exposed skin with the weight of a secret he doubtless didn't want her to know. But she did.
~~~
Here he stood, once again insisting he take the burden all upon himself. She knew he could feel what it was doing to him, and still…he'd go so far as to fight her for it. But now she felt she understood what it really meant. What he had really meant. And she realized those words he'd spoken were for her, but he himself was deaf to their meaning.
You're not alone, she thought sadly as she watched him. Y'shtola had once described what souls looked like to her. The way they smelled, the way they felt, their color - these things were less literal and more…dreamlike. A soul was almost a sort've place in a way; a reflection of the person it belonged to. It had seemed esoteric to her, and Ryne had brushed it off a bit as a metaphor she simply wasn't understanding. But with the power given to her by Minfilia, she finally saw.
Chiteni's soul smelled like cool air in the mountains. Dry, bitter bark, the wind over cold water, fresh wildflowers, and snow rolling off a distant peak. It sounded like the rustle of long grass in the wind as the blades gently brushed past one another. Of the distant scream of a swift breeze over stone, or of the rustle of a lake. It felt like things she'd never felt before: memories of some distant, otherworldly place - where her bare feet felt the cool grasses gliding between her toes as she ran with the wind in her hair and the warmth of home blossoming in her chest. It was one of the most beautiful things to ‘see.’ A soul.
Chiteni's felt…strained. In some inexplicable way. As if the world contained within was drawn on the soft shell of an egg and cracks were forming on its impossibly delicate surface. She couldn't imagine how it must've been before it had begun to crumble. Before the Light had wormed its way inside and started boring its way out; its slimy pearlescent tendrils wrapping around the seams like spiderwebs.
She knew why he wanted to protect her from it. If the rich world within each person was so beautiful, so full of life and color…it was worth protecting. Ryne watched as the Light moved towards and through him, sinking into the cracks with ease. He clutched his chest and she saw it flash as it seemed to lash out before calming back down. He looked exhausted, and only then did she notice the blood dripping on the floor.
Alphinaud had noticed too, for he ran over as soon as it felt safe, putting a gentle hand on his friend.
“I didn't see you were hurt,” he said nervously. “May I have a look?”
Chiteni nodded, exposing where Storge had stabbed him with its steely feathers. The plumes were still half-buried in the flesh around his ribs, but he was holding himself upright with little effort. He started helping the young healer to pull them out, and Thancred quickly and quietly offered some gauze, their squabble clearly forgotten when other matters demanded attention. It seemed fairly deep.
Before Alphinaud could finish, Chiteni pushed him away gently. “Let's go, I'll be fine. This place is…kind've unsettling,” he laughed quietly.
Alphinaud looked concerned but nodded. “I've given it enough aether that it should be alright,” he tried to smile. Ryne knew his capitulation was because he had seen it, too. The way Chiteni had reacted this time. The way his usual composed facade was crumbling; unable as he was to hide something that plagued him so deeply. But they all remained quiet, for what other path was there to take but to hope this was the right one? It didn't bear thinking about, much less burdening him further with concerns about devising a new strategy when there was such little time left.
Everyone set forth to go, and Ryne noticed the Warrior of Darkness hesitated briefly before taking a deep breath and joining in, following just behind the others. She fell into step beside him.
“You really don't need to-” she began, but he shot her a look. His red eye unsettled her, and it was the only one she could see from his right side.
“I'm fine. I know you and Y'shtola see something I don't. I'd rather not know what it is.”
“I wasn't going to say that,” she continued. “I was just going to say that we could have stayed longer, let you rest.”
Chiteni sighed, his shoulders sagging as they trekked carefully back up the steep slope and out of Storge's den. He held out a hand to her as they reached a steep incline. She watched as Thancred and Urianger boosted the twins up; her guardian's warm eyes looking back at her quizzically. It was rare she ever spent time alone with Chiteni, but this felt like a good opportunity. She grasped his bandaged hand and he lifted her with ease as if she weighed less than even his sword. Ryne could feel his scars and callouses underneath the soft cloth.
“Why do you wear bandages? Is it in case you need them? I notice you don't use them,” she thought back to how quickly Thancred had offered his own. As if the two had somekind’ve understanding between them.
“My Master used to wear some. Over their whole body. They said they'd been badly burned once - dragonfire, if you're curious. It burns even over water. It's…difficult to put out and scarred them terribly.”
“You say that as if you don't believe that story?” Ryne cocked her head slightly.
Chiteni smiled down at her. “No, I'm not sure I do.”
They approached a rickety wooden bridge, the boards partially bleached white by Storge's contaminating influence. The rest of their group was nearly on the other side, and a dark pit yawned beneath them. She wondered how deep it went.
“Why do you wear them, then?”
“To make my hands softer.”
Ryne thought about it for a moment, smiling. “I'm really not sure it's working.”
Chiteni clutched his chest dramatically. “Ouch." He carefully stepped across the boards as they groaned and rattled under the weight. The ropes kicked up dust as they grasped them for balance across the treacherous surface. “Maybe I just don't want people to see.”
“Perhaps your Master also had something to hide? You two sound like you were similar.”
Chiteni didn't turn back to her but instead said softly, “I suppose we might have been.”
It had taken them time to descend to the furthest depths of Malikah's Well, and it was certainly taking time to trek back out. Ryne noticed how tired Chiteni was getting, his breathing ragged. She made note of the dark circles under his eyes, his lack of stamina, how during battle he didn't seem as sharp or aware as he had been when he first arrived. And she thought of the things they'd learned and shared about sin eater physiology. It was unsettling, though he had asked her directly not to share her worries, so she said nothing. No one did. Urianger had explained that their silent support was more important right now than fretting over his condition, and she felt somewhat comforted. A healer would know best, after all.
They reached a series of branching tunnels in their climb - almost out of the earth but not quite yet. They reached a gap in the stone floor, their torches unable to breach the strange darkness below. It was a bit far of a jump across, but the remnants of an old bridge held fast to the stone on the other side. Alisaie leapt across with practiced ease, her brother following along after and grasping the bridgeposts as he crossed over. It was still fully dark in these caves, but she could almost feel the warm morning air as their ascent brought a fresher breeze down to them.
Chiteni waved her on, and she cleared the gap like the others. She turned back to him, worry in her eyes. He was hesitating, looking at the ledge before him and the one he was on. Judging the distance. Thancred had stopped to watch as well, clearly noticing his friend's difficulty. Chiteni said something too softly to hear and then he made his jump - she wasn't even sure why she had been concerned: the force with which he threw himself across nearly took out Thancred.
Chiteni righted himself breathlessly on the other side, leaning on his friend. Thancred grinned at him, clearly pushing back the impulse to shove him. Ryne smiled at the two, glad that the path she had chosen - difficult though it was - had eased the tension between them. And just then she heard a terrible crack. The ground beneath the three gave way, and they tumbled down into the darkness below as stone crumbled and grit showered down. Ryne covered her head as she tried to make sense of what was up and down, desperate not to land poorly. She pulled out a dagger with her other hand and stabbed into the stone wall, the metal finding a crack and her descent halting suddenly amidst sparks of light. She briefly saw that they were nearly at the bottom before she heard Thancred and Chiteni's grunts as they slammed into the soft dirt floor a few yalms below her.
“Are you two alright!?” she hopped down the rest of the way, illuminating her weapons slightly to offer a bit of dim light. They had both landed on a sandy bed at the bottom, and more tunnels stretched out in two directions around them. Thancred was already clambering up onto a rock and tapping his linkpearl to contact those above. Chiteni lie quietly nearby. Ryne dropped beside him and tried to look him over in the low light. She thought about his wound and reached carefully towards him.
He growled, suddenly animated, and pushed her away. “I'm fine,” he snapped.
She tumbled onto the sandy floor, unsure why he'd reacted so strongly. Thancred was talking to the others on his linkpearl, so he hadn't seemed to notice. A moment passed, and soon Chiteni appeared to realize he'd shoved her, and he quickly got up and offered her his hand.
“Gods, I'm so sorry, are you alright? Nothing injured when we fell?” He pulled her up and looked over her, concerned.
“Well I hadn't fallen until you pushed me,” she tried to joke. Chiteni sighed with relief. “But I'm fine. I was just making sure you two weren't hurt.”
“I'm…” Chiteni held a hand to his chest, his fingers coming away much darker, “I'm pretty sure I am.”
She held up her lights and saw the blood on the floor. “But I thought Alphinaud healed you?” Thancred had finished his call and was looking down at them from the rock he'd been standing on. He jumped down to Chiteni's side and made him move his arms out of the way, swearing. “Why didn't you let him finish?”
Chiteni hung his head low, not answering. Thancred snorted, pulling out a flint and some gauze. “I don't have much for light and bandages. And I'm not a healer. But...I can't stop the bleeding otherwise.” His gaze hardened at Chiteni. “Ryne, can you see which of these tunnels might lead to the surface?”
She knew why Thancred was sending her away, and an unknowable expression briefly flashed across Chiteni's face. He stepped backwards, his eyes wide and glinting in the dark, contracting into slits as though he were staring at something bright. He started taking short, quick breaths, and Ryne swore she could hear his furious heartbeat. “I-it's fine,” he stammered. “I'll be fine. Just…make the torch.” He was shaking, his hands balled into fists. "I can handle it."
Thancred stared at his friend for a moment. Then his expression softened and he sighed. “Let's just use the gauze to wrap it up. We've got enough light.”
All the tension left Chiteni's body at once and he crumpled to the floor, closing his eyes. He didn't offer thanks, but his relief was clear.
Ryne had heard the Warrior of Darkness was afraid of nothing in the stories. But perhaps those sorts of fairytale renditions left out the more human sides of their characters so that those reading them felt safer. It was easy to believe in a paragon who never tired, who never ate or slept. Who wasn't afraid of the mundane. But the convenience of imperviousness wasn't really afforded to those in the real world. She stood up as Thancred sighed in resignation and Chiteni leaned there on the floor, trying to relax his breathing.
“I'll be back soon.”
The trek had only gotten longer with the added detour, as none of them could climb the steep rock face to easily escape. Especially not with Chiteni's injury. They'd used Thancred's bandages and the ones Chiteni kept on his hands to tightly bind the wound, but everyone could tell the fatigue and blood loss were taking their toll on him. He did everything he could to keep up, and he never once complained. But after a while he simply collapsed onto the ground, unable to keep going. Thancred offered to prop him up on his shoulder, and his friend didn't make a sound in response. His eyes were sightless and dull, as if he were barely still conscious. But he continued to move his feet.
“We should just let him rest,” Ryne said quietly. They'd been talking to one another for a while now, certain Chiteni couldn't hear them.
“He needs to get to someone who can actually heal him. And we don't have all day to reach them. We need to keep moving.”
“Is he…afraid of fire?”
“Yes.”
Ryne continued quietly for a moment, unsure if she should probe further. Thancred sighed.
“He was in a fire as a kid. At least, that's really all he's said about it. I can't tell you much more.”
“That's ok! I was just…He had such a strange reaction. Cauterizing the wound would be the most reasonable thing to do, and it surprised me he was so…affected. By the idea.”
“Sometimes it's not the wound you can see that bothers you,” Thancred said quietly. He shook his head. “I shouldn't have suggested it, I knew he wouldn't try to resist but…” he trailed off.
“I don't think he wants any of us to worry,” Ryne ventured. “But…I'm not sure he knows it only makes it worse.”
They had stopped before an old rickety ladder, and Thancred groaned. Chiteni's breathing had become very shallow and short, his skin cold and clammy. His tail dragged behind them in the dust, and Thancred was all but carrying him at this point. He set Chiteni down, shaking him.
“You need to wake up. This would be a pretty boring place to die.” Chiteni's labored breathing continued. No response.
Thancred continued shaking him, calling his name. Eventually Chiteni did open his eyes, and Ryne swore she saw the red one flicker in the dark. He said nothing and didn't move, but Thancred clearly took consciousness as a good sign. He removed his jacket and hoisted Chiteni up onto his back. The two were about the same size, and it always amazed her how strong Thancred truly was.
“Can you wrap my coat around us?” Thancred suggested. “That way I can climb and he…hopefully won't fall off.” He smiled at her nervously in the dim light and she did as he instructed as best she could; taking the buckle and lashing them together.
She offered to bring up the rear - just in case Thancred slipped. But he wasn't hearing it. “If either of us falls you don't need to go down with us.”
Chiteni's eyes closed again on their way up, and Thancred swore. “Just keep going. Go faster, if you can. We're nearly there. If you can find Alphinaud or Urianger…Just go.” Ryne bolted after she got to the top. The fresh air was even stronger here, and the tunnel was beginning to turn a ruddy orange as light reflected off the dingy stone. She burst out into the afternoon sun, her eyes squinting to see.
“Are any of you there? We need help!”
Alisaie popped up around the corner, her expression grim. “Thancred told us. Where are they?”
“I'll take you there! Is Alphinaud here? Or Urianger?”
“Both are present, I do reassure you,” Urianger came from where Alisaie had been, Alphinaud running ahead of him.
“I knew something was wrong. Please Ryne, lead the way.”
They found the two sitting in a small alcove, Thancred trying to get Chiteni to say something. He had some manner of medicine out - one that Ryne recalled he'd used on her once after she'd taken a bad fall. Chiteni managed to look at him, his ears lightly swiveling as the others came around.
Urianger smiled at Thancred and he got up and moved aside. Both Alphinaud and Urianger immediately got to work, though before long they both seemed tired. They were no closer to managing to seal the wound, but Chiteni was at least present.
“Please just stop,” he murmured. He made a halfhearted attempt to move away, but he was cornered. Ryne knew Thancred put him here, aware he'd react like this. Y'shtola made her way into the space, frowning.
“It's necrotic, isn't it?”
Chiteni sighed tiredly. “It won't heal, they're just exhausting themselves. I need stitches.”
“Is that what you've been doing?” Alphinaud said sharply. “You refuse every time I offer healing - saying you're unharmed. Yet I always see you at the infirmary."
“You got me,” Chiteni leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Ryne thought he meant it as a joke, but she was unsure. Alphinaud stopped healing and looked down, clenching his fist.
“You…I want to be able to help, too…” he trailed off, as if unsure what to say. Ryne knew the helplessness he felt. They all must've felt it. But Chiteni pushed harder anyway.
“I don't-”
Alisaie rounded on him, fury in her icy blue eyes. “Don't finish that sentence,” she hissed. Looking at her brother but continuing to direct her voice at Chiteni she continued, “You…The way you just…think you can do it all alone. How do you think it makes the rest of us feel!? Trapped in a place we don't belong, doing everything we can to try and help! For longer than you have been here! And you bring your Gods’ given gifts with you and brush us aside like we're in your way!” She pressed on, “We have lost friends here. I'm sick of you acting like we always need protection! As if we always need to let you take over and work your magic! That we should just step aside and let you kill yourself because it's what you…you…” she trailed off, turning away.
Chiteni was staring at the ground. “I'm the only one who can do this.” He got up, leaning against the wall. “I know I can't do it alone, and I'm grateful for everyone being here but…I don't want you to have to worry about it.” He looked at Alphinaud, “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't know you felt that way. I just…don't want you to waste time or energy trying to do something impossible.”
He staggered forward, immediately sliding down the wall to his knees. “I wish I was enough,” he gritted his teeth, pounding the floor. “This can't hold me,” he got back up again, this time standing up straighter. The way he'd said those words sent a strange chill down Ryne's spine. “Let's just head back already.”
The moon beat down like a second sun. White heat radiated from its surface as it loomed large in the brilliant night sky - too large. The space above seemed almost consumed by its pearlescent magnificence, though the stars still twinkled fairly along its edges. It veritably hummed with presence and influence as it drew them around itself, swirling into the vortex of its massive plane. Chiteni felt it like a weight trying to crush him into the ground.
He staggered, trying to stay upright. On twos, then all fours. The brutal press of cold heat bearing down like the baleful eye of some unknowable god. It seemed to be judging, almost. He gasped, trying to get back upright. He could feel the weight grow heavier with his resistance - could hear a voice whispering words just out of reach of his ears. A maddening low-pitched chorus rose and rose, higher notes slowly joining in its incessant, beating drone. There was a sharp sensation in his chest and he felt as if something wanted to respond. The press threatened to crush him; the weight of a world above bearing down with cold malevolence.
Oh, Mother Moon.
The pain in his chest became a stabbing sensation. As if something were fighting its way out - his ribs a literal cage to contain it. Slamming, crashing, biting, gnashing. He tried to resist but it was wearing him down. He could feel that familiar change. His hair snaking down his back in a long mane, bones painfully stretching, limbs snapping into a new place. As if it was all too small a space…as if he were the one trapped, now fighting to get out. Slamming against his bars; gasping, growling.
“Please no,” he gasped. “This is a dream!” he squeezed his eyes shut, breathless and exhausted. He bit down.
You look so good in red.
His eyes snapped open at the unfamiliar voice, and the moon was normal in the clear night sky. He could smell something metallic. Warm. The sound of the watchwolves’ bells jingled softly in his ears on a summer night's breeze. Beneath him lie a figure, eclipsed by the size of his transformation. Their neck was broken and mangled, covered in teeth marks; and the body was coated in warm red blood. He could taste it dripping from long fangs as he panted, trying to discern who lay at his feet. It was a woman: her long, flowy creamy-white hair full of dead flowers, her violet skin giving rise to gentle rivers of carmine as it retreated into the grass. She opened empty, colorless black eyes to look up at him.
“Chinua,” she said. Wolf.
He reared back in shock, collapsing into the grass as she rose to stand silently before him, not a whisper betraying her presence, her body mangled and broken. Her neck barely hung onto her shoulders and muscle bled steadily as it stretched and tightened, visible alongside exposed bone. The bells on his collar chimed, and he could hear barking in the distance as other wolves caught the scent.
“Mother?” His voice was surprisingly clear.
She approached him and placed his head in her hands. Even from where he lay in the grass, he towered over her. She smiled.
“Your father was right about you. But I can help you.” Her dark, soulless eyes stared deep into his and he felt a pang of fear.
“Who…who are you?”
“Get away from him!” another voice snarled. A spear came rocketing through the dark, impaling the strange shade where she stood. It went through her body with ease, the sickening timbre of its force as it buried itself in the ground shocked him. She turned her head without moving her body, the neck snapping around, that serene smile still on her face.
“Husband,” she grinned through a blood-soaked mouth. “How did you get here?”
Chiteni felt a pain in his right eye and he covered it with clawed hands, rearing back with a hiss. The wings on his back moved almost without input, kicking up a storm of wind with each beat as if some other force had control of them.
Did I do this to her? he wondered deliriously, feeling the soft flesh of her neck snap between his jaws again. The taste of blood; warm and thick on his tongue.
You look so good in red.
Red. Red covering his fur, his hands. Coating his mouth. The smell of it. Sticky and hot and thick. His eye hurt so terribly. Red. Like it was on fire. He leaned forward, dazed and retching; blood oozing from his parted jaws.
Do you hear your bells, wolf?
He collapsed forward again, feeling exhausted. He felt a gentle hand on his muzzle, petting him gently. So gently.
“You can let go.” Her voice said to him. It was so soothing. He missed hearing it so much.
“She died in the fire,” the man's voice said from nearby. “You know that. You…you brought the knights to the camp that night. Do you remember any of it?”
Chiteni jolted from the pain in his eye. It was as if something was resisting.
“Is someone else there?” he murmured. He couldn't understand. Someone had said something…right?
“Chiteni.” He opened his left eye. His father stood over him, that characteristic frown on his face.
Mazalai. The voice issued from his own mouth, though he had not uttered it.
“Chiteni, this is a dream. That's all it is. But you need to wake up before someone else gets hurt.”
“Someone…else?” his own voice this time. He felt as though he were swimming through a thick swamp, searching for light. Something kept pulling him back under.
You've learned some new tricks, old man. The voice parted his own mouth to say the words, trying to snap at his father's nearby hand.
“So have you. I won't let you get the better of him.”
“How have you been?” Chiteni said mundanely. He tried to smile, relief washing over him. “I'm ok, I think.”
Mazalai frowned. “You can keep secrets from him even when I'm speaking directly?”
It is better for him to be happy, no?
What is he talking about? “I'm not keeping secrets from you. I'm sorry I haven't tried to come home,” he insisted.
A crooked smile spread across Chiteni's fanged maw, his red eye glowing. He does not hear a word, you know. Why do you not enjoy a little chat?
“Where did you get this kind've influence?” Mazalai asked through gritted teeth.
A caged bird can do little else but sing.
“Can you hear me?” Chiteni asked quietly. “I was just thinking about you. About working up the courage to come home. Is this still a dream?”
Mazalai rubbed his brow, frustrated. “Yes. Yes I can hear you. I…I want you to come. If you can.”
Ever the loving father.
“I will! I promise. It just…it hurts.”
Mazalai took the chance and rested a hand on him. “I cannot imagine how much it does. But you're not a child anymore. You haven't been for a very long time. Get up.”
Chiteni groaned, lifting off the ground, his red eye burning as it tried to keep him down. He shook off the pain and stood, suddenly just…his normal self again. He looked away.
Mazalai reached down and embraced him tightly. “You're so much taller,” he said quietly.
Chiteni could hear how his voice cracked when he said it. He buried his head in his father's arm, saying nothing, the pain gone and forgotten.
“I need you to listen,” Mazalai said, holding him firmly at arm's length. “Wake up. You don't have time for this. You need to wake up. And promise me you won't use that thing ever again.” Mazalai looked at Chiteni's regulator with an unknowable expression.
“But this is just a dream, right?” he smiled.
Author's Note: Hey hey! I'm not dead! I've been having a hard time irl lately. I thought about like, doing some serious edits to this - it's actually pretty rough. Mostly a string of consciousness. I'm unsure where to place it yet, either! But it's connected to everything going on, and I want to post it to just...get the weight off my chest a bit. I also decided to give Red-Eyes a red coloring just to maybe make things more clear when it is speaking. I may change my mind, I'm not really sure yet lmao
Anyway that song is stuck in my head, I'm gonna go listen to it another 20 times, now.
Krile sat back at the desk with a sigh, the chair creaking as she pressed into it. She tilted her head towards the ceiling with her eyes closed, massaging her temples. The backroom was slightly chilly as the drone of upbeat electro in the foyer drifted dully through the ventilation to her ears on its cool breeze. The lights were low save for the violet glow of the electrope generator and appliances; their bands of colored light snaking oddly around the space and leaving the rest of the room in a fair darkness.
She rubbed her arms and leaned back towards the screen. Krile had been deeply grateful for the opportunity to come to Tural. Her comrades had done much to alleviate her concerns that she may not belong: because even with all of her practice into her craft she'd put in, she had been worried they might deny her request. They were the heroes, after all; and she was not. She knew she was going to have to prove she could look out for herself. But…they had not asked her to do so, in the end. It wasn't that it had made her disappointed at her own effort being wasted, but…
There was a clattering sound followed by a crash of large, heavy objects across the room. Someone hissed sharply, the swift intake of breath denoting they might have gotten caught in the ruckus. Krile's eyes widened in the low light as she leaned over the desk and adjacent shelf, peering into the dark space. A familiar pair of mismatched eyes reflected the light back at her from the shadows by the floor, blinking.
Krile tapped a stylus to her cheek, feeling anxious. She twirled it up into a curl of brown hair as she thought about why she might feel the way she did. Why do I feel the need to impress anyone? Where does that come from…?
“I'm fine.”
“I'm sorry Chiteni, I didn't know you were still here!” she chuckled. She hopped off the chair and moved towards the wall by the entrance to the storage area, pressing the panel on her desk before she went to shut off her station. “I didn't hear you come in. What happened, are you alright?”
Chiteni was half-underneath a pile of crates, his wings clearly pinned as he pushed things around to remove the weight while they unintentionally twitched. Krile walked over to where he sat and gave one heavy box a shove to free one of the appendages, leaving a couple broken feathers on the floor. Chiteni was shoving another crate off of himself from his position on the ground, holding something tightly in his hands. His knuckles were white from gripping it so hard. “I said I was fine. I didn't know you were here, either,” he grunted. An obvious lie - hers was the only desk illuminated in the backroom. “Thanks for the help though, I was just…I got sort've stuck.”
Krile cocked her head slightly. If he wasn't willing to be honest there must be some reason she'd get later. No point pursuing it right now. “Well what are you doing over here?” She looked over at him as she stood level with where he sat. His tail was still slightly fluffed from alarm.
“I was just grabbing this,” he held up the object he'd been gripping: a small electrope screen.
“Silver's tablet! I was wondering where he'd put it.” Chiteni handed it to her and she took it, turning it on and leafing through the applications. She sat down on the floor, smiling at all the pictures the young man had taken. Many pranks had been played at Alphinaud's expense, it seemed. She continued leafing through the images, reliving the time as it had happened. Chiteni had gone silent beside her - she nearly forgot he was there. When she looked over at him after a moment, he was staring at her; his expression unreadable as his eyes flashed in the dark, immediately looking away.
“You knew where he put it?” she asked.
“Well, yes.”
“Oh…right. You remember what all he did, yes? I believe you said so before.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it. Seeming to choose his words carefully he said simply, “Everything that happened to me.”
He reached over without elaborating as he sat next to her, turning the tablet towards himself slightly; his face so close to hers that his spiky hair tickled her ear as his eyes wandered the screen. She nearly shifted to move away, but chose not to. She could feel the warmth from his skin as he breathed quietly next to her, his heart rate gently slowing down as the surprise from the clamor passed. Krile turned towards the screen where his attention was focused, trying to ignore his sudden closeness. Paging to the end, he showed there was a video as the last entry. He leaned away, leaving it unplayed. Getting up, he pushed some of the crates back into their places as Krile looked at the tablet. Chiteni then sat down further away to lean against the wall, putting distance between them.
“I- he'd want you to watch that,” he grunted as he reclined with a huff.
Krile gave him a confused look but pressed the playback, watching Chiteni's reaction briefly before the light sound of Silver's voice pulled her attention away.
“I'm sorry I didn't tell you. And I…I hope I get the chance to. And that I can just delete this,” he ran his fingers through his hair anxiously, the camera wobbling. “You always seemed really sad after we finished for the day. I don't know what's on your mind but I thought maybe it was my fault. I'm real sorry I lied about it. I had to keep it a secret.”
“Krile! I'm leaving this one for you,” the young man began, implying there were more videos like this. “You've been incredibly kind to me since we first met. I really wish I could repay that sometime. But I didn't want to leave this unsaid.” He adjusted the screen in his hands, his soft lavender eyes sad as ever even through his slight smile. His voice was low and she could tell he was recording from outside - likely as the others slept. The low drone of vehicles flying by and electrope humming were the only sounds on the quiet street. “I want you to know I was paying attention! Look, I did it all! All the assignments! Or, weIl - mean you can look but not while you have the video open, I guess.” He smiled, embarrassed, looking slightly away. “I really struggled with some of the lowercase letters but I did finish them.”
Krile thought about all her prior attempts to get Chiteni to learn to read and write. He always had some excuse or another: not wanting to take up her time, being busy to the point he couldn't focus on it and wanting to give it time, the suggestion maybe later would be better. She had watched him for years as he struggled with his disappointment in himself for not learning but also…watching as he refused to start. As if he thought it was too late to try. Or maybe he deserved not to. She could hear him shift uncomfortably over by the wall, his clothes rustling. She focused on the screen.
Having Silver to teach had been an opportunity she hadn't wanted to miss. He was eager to learn - and a terrible liar besides. So similar to his counterpart in both respects. She felt that by not pressing Chiteni hard enough, she'd missed her chance to help him. And it had definitely colored the way she pushed Silver. Sometimes to the point she thought he'd stop coming. But he had always been there, feigning disinterest; his love of learning written in those melancholy eyes and the way they lit up when he was put to task in any way.
“I knew,” she whispered, a sad smile on her face as she brushed a curl out of her way, covering her mouth. She could feel Chiteni's eyes boring a hole into her as she kept looking at the screen. She was aware even with how softly she's spoken that he'd heard her anyway.
“I'm going to hide my tablet, and I put the lessons under a different username so you wouldn't know. But if you're watching this you should have access to them! You'll have to grade me on them when I get back.” He didn't sound convinced as the words left his mouth, but he smiled anyway even if it never reached his eyes. As if simply believing would be enough. “I'm taping it to the underside of some crates over by the far wall. There's not many people small enough to get under there so it shouldn't fall into anyone's hands it's not meant to, anyway.” He laughed. It was a genuine sound. Full of affection. Krile felt a pang in her chest. It was rare to see him express anything real. Unguarded. “I'll see you soon! Thanks for teaching me. I swear I won't forget it. Not this time.”
As the playback ended Krile closed the application and opened the lesson plan. She leafed through the various modules with their completion badges. A sense of warmth bloomed in her as her fingers crept across the screen looking at them all. He really had been paying close attention. Setting the tablet down in her lap she closed her eyes. She could feel Chiteni still staring at her and when she turned to look at him, his eyes glowed in the dark with that same unreadable expression.
“Is that what all the noise was about?”
“Look, it was easier when I was…when he was…” He leaned forward, running his hands through his hair, flustered. A familiar gesture. “I'm not exactly small as was its intended audience.”
“You could have asked me to collect it,” Krile laughed. “It would have been no trouble at all.”
“I can't ask you to do more for me,” he said quietly.
She stared at him for a moment, unsure how to form her sudden thought without being too insensitive. “You remember everything?” she ventured tentatively.
Chiteni took a claw and spelled out a few letters on the floor. S-I-L-V-E-R. It was hard to make out in the dark and it wasn't exactly Eorzean, so she knew there was still progress to be made: but watching his tail curl in satisfaction as he granted himself the smallest of proud smiles was enough. But when he looked at her that pride melted away, only to be replaced with a contemplative sort've sadness. “I…I'm sorry. About everything, really. I know why you were so sad, now.”
Krile closed her eyes, thinking of all the times she had let him get away with his excuses. Out of not wishing to push him away when learning was something she dearly treasured. The thought of making someone resent that - someone she truly wished to share that appreciation with - had made her overly-cautious.
“I thought I had ripped out the end of my story. That it was over and I'd made it so, myself. I'm…I'm not sure which part of me that thought comes from, either.” He looked at the floor, his lips pursed tightly. “I'm finding I don't much understand myself, anymore.”
Krile got up and walked over to sit beside him along the wall. He shifted slightly, awkwardly waving one wing out of the way but - perhaps thinking better of it - allowed her to lean on it instead of the cold, hard electrope surface. It was his turn to stiffen at her proximity as she settled down, but he didn't move away again. Not like before. He simply wrapped his arms around his legs, drawing into himself. It was…almost a childlike gesture. As if he meant to make himself smaller.
“I don't claim to understand what you're going through,” Krile started slowly. “But I do know someone who loves to learn is in there and…maybe he'd like to work on some Eorzean this time?” She smiled at him hopefully.
“Maybe,” Chiteni mumbled.
Krile leaned into him, sighing. “I'm glad you're alive.”
“Me too.”
She leaned away again. “You may feel the need to apologize for not wanting to learn a thing or two,” she began, her voice stern, “but…I feel just as guilty for almost missing my chance to teach you. And I made Silver my target, which was unfair to him as well.”
“He'd forgive you,” Chiteni immediately insisted. “It was enjoyable. He liked the visits because he often learned a lot about the world from Y'shtola and yourself.”
“Does having his memories feel strange to you?”
“No, it's not that,” he shook his head. “It's explaining it. I don't know how to word anything when I was there but…I also wasn't. It's a bit awkward,” he laughed anxiously. “I'm just me though, I promise.” As he said it, a current of fear flashed across his eyes and his fingers clenched tighter to his legs. “Sometimes I…I remember the process. The…burning. Burning it all away.” His ears flattened and his pupils contracted into wary slits. Goosebumps mottled his skin, his look distant. He got very quiet.
“Chiteni?” She put a hand on his arm but he didn't so much as react; trapped in whatever memory he was recalling. Krile sat quietly beside him, unsure what to do. He sometimes got like this after he'd come back. Often shutting down if he thought too deeply about certain things. As if something he'd experienced still haunted him very presently.
“I remember when we met: Alphinaud was so concerned I'd spill some sort've…dark secret from his school days to this person he admired,” she began slowly, thinking back on it with a smile. “He was so on edge! He used to want to forget the things he wasn't particularly proud of. He's grown much since he came to Eorzea and met you - Alisaie, as well! They had always wanted to see the breadth of it. I remember the time their father brought Ameliance to this feast in Ishgard. Oof, it was tense.”
She continued on like that for several minutes. She recounted stories of times before she knew him, taking a walk down memory lane herself as she did so. All the trouble she'd gotten into with her grandfather in school during a particular project. Her own attempts to get anything done with the twins when their grandfather was around; taking them on some small adventure or another and distracting them from school. His forays always ended up tying back to the subject at hand, and Krile recounted her admiration for the man and his love of the world and all things therein.
“I remember how distant you seemed when we first met,” she said quietly, bringing things back to where she had started. “How it seemed you wished to be anywhere but where you were at present.” She watched out of the corner of her eye as he slowly relaxed. She could feel the tension leave from the wing he'd wrapped behind her, and his arms loosened from around his legs. He'd been so tightly wound that there were creases where his hands had gripped his clothes. “I thought you were a bit cold.”
“And what do you think, now?” he said, almost whispering.
Krile ran her fingers through the feathers behind her and he stiffened again. She sat in silence for a moment, letting the question hang in the air. “I take it you're with me again?”
“Yes. Thank you. I…I don't remember it very well. When we met.” Krile thought he might be teasing her for compliments but noticed his eyes seemed…empty. Searching. Trying to recall. “Was Alphinaud really worried about that? It sounds like him.”
She nodded, frowning. “You really don't remember?”
He sat up, shaking his head. His eyes flashed worriedly. “I don't remember meeting you at all,” he mumbled, trailing off.
Krile considered for a moment. The song drifting through the ventilation towards them was tinny in the silence as they sat on the floor, illuminated in a faint violet glow. “It's not easy to recall what you can't recall,” she puzzled. “Would it be ok if we had Y'shtola look at you sometime? Maybe there's something she missed.”
He nodded, leaning back against the wall again. His tail tip twitched anxiously. Krile was reminded he wasn't quite the same person who had left them two months ago. He was less confident but also warmer. As if there were things he'd lost and gained when his soul had been returned to him. “Krile, may I try something?”
She cocked her head quizzically. “As in…?”
He hesitated, holding out a hand. “I doubt it would work but can you think of that memory for me?”
Krile finally realized what he was getting at. “Oh! Yes, of course! The Echo!” she nodded. Closing her eyes, she held the memory in her mind and nodded when she thought she had it well enough. She held out her hand. Nothing. She popped open one eye, distracting herself from her thoughts. He was just sitting there, fidgeting. Not even trying to touch her outstretched palm. “Oh, for Heavens’ sakes!” she grabbed his hand, startling him.
He just sat stock still staring at her, his ears flat to the point they looked as though they were gone entirely. His tail puffed up and he had frozen as if she was electrocuting him; his eyes so huge the colors of his irises could barely be spotted save for their slight tint.
“Getting anything?”
“N-No.”
They sat there like that for a moment before Krile burst out laughing into the quiet room. “Oh, if only you could see the look on your face right now! Oh my goodness!”
Chiteni withdrew his hand. “What!? It was worth trying, alright!?” He turned away but she could see he was fighting desperately not to smile, too. His tail tip twitched to and fro as he crossed his arms. She covered her mouth to stifle a laugh still trying to escape and he finally smiled.
“I love when you laugh,” he said calmly.
Now it was her turn to stare.
Chiteni turned his gaze right at her, smiling. She recalled Silver had that same spark of warmth in his eyes sometimes. As if he'd been searching for something and found it simply looking at others. Being near them. She stood up in a huff, accidentally stamping a foot on his wing - forgotten in the moment. He flinched, laughing. “Ow, ok ok! I take it back! You're as much of a miser as Y'shtola!”
“You are unbelievable,” she turned on him, smiling. From her standing position they were the same height where he sat. Taking a chance she wasn't sure she'd get again soon she hugged him, burying her face in his shoulder. “Don't ever do anything like that ever again. I know everyone says that but…just don't.” She felt overwhelmed at the idea of losing another person close to her. It burned her throat as it clawed its way up and through her voice, making it shake. “I don't know how they deal with this every time.”
Chiteni seemed to understand. He let her lean on him, wrapping his wing back around her alongside his arm. He didn't respond. He couldn't give her the promise she wanted to hear. He simply sat in silence with her and let her have this moment.
Author's Note: I haven't written anything since September really, but this has been knocking around in my head for a while. During FFxivWrite I was in such a hurry to get everything out all the time. I have no idea how I kept up the pace I did - I was so creatively bankrupt when it was over and tbh I'm still working on getting that energy back.
But I was talking the other night about WoL crushes. Ppl your WoL might crush on or who might crush on them: maybe mutual maybe not. Most of Chiteni's crushes are people who largely aren't in his life anymore. And he's not really a romantic person so that's fine. But one is, and that's Krile. The two are very close - not romantic but they share a lot of moments together that might be easy to see that way. There's a comfort they derive from one another that's hard to explain. And after he disappeared, it made it incredibly hard for her to try and figure out where that left her.
They aren't intended to be any more than friends, but I wanted to talk about how good she is for him and how much she respects and gives him space; but also how much he deeply cares and respects her feelings. Recovery is a rocky process, and I'd like to leave some room for more elaboration in the future, esp in regards to his memory and relationships and how those things would be impacted by what he's done. Krile won't blindly support that - no one will. But he can't make any promises like the ones she wants to hear.
I may as well put these all together in one place for easier access! Now that it's over and all. I'll do the ones that are connected stories in blue - so those you would read in order of posting. The rest don't require this. It's more of an anthology.
Day 1: Steer - Day 2: Horizon - Day 3: Tempest - Day 4: Reticent - Day 5: Stamp - Day 6: Halcyon - Day 7: Morsel - Day 8: [Free Day]
Day 9: Lend an Ear - Day 10: Stable - Day 11: Surrogate - Day 12: Quarry - Day 13: Butte - Day 14: Telling - Day 15: [Free Day]
Day 16: Third-rate - Day 17: Sally - Day 18: Hackneyed - Day 19: Taken - Day 20: Duel - Day 21: Shade - Day 22: [Free Day]
Day 23: On Cloud Nine - Day 24: Bar - Day 25: Perpetuity - Day 26: Zip - Day 27: Memory - Day 28: Deleterious - Day 29: [Free Day]
The sun shone down on the grass as a cool breeze blew through the blades, causing them to billow and wave in patterns carved by the wind. The mountains stretched into the distance as far as the eye could see; their far-off peaks covered in a blanket of freshly fallen snow. But the sky was cloudless today, and crystal-clear water trickled softly from some source within the earth as it snaked down the hillside and into the Kha's camp.
Chiteni sat on a rock and watched the bustle in the village below him, tilting his head back for a moment and closing his eyes to feel the breeze. A karakul bumped into his knee, and he lazily peeked without moving to see the culprit. Of course it's you.
The little black karakul was pretending to ram him. The creature had been incredibly feisty since it had begun watching the others headbutting one another, and it clearly wanted someone to practice on. The wooly critter stepped backwards - slightly clumsily - and prepared to take another charge at its target. Chiteni sighed, closing his eyes again. The breeze made the beads in his hair and on his crook jingle slightly; the sound bringing to mind the beaded collars on their watchwolves. But the sun warmed his skin in the shadow of the mountains. He felt as though there was something he should be doing, but out here in the grass and the light he wasn't even sure it mattered.
Down in the Kha's camp Chiteni weaved through the bustle of people running around. They all wore loose-fitting robes adorned with beads and feathers from the Ixal they traded with, all dyed as many colors as they could get their hands on. The Kha were craftsmen and traders themselves, and they would often weave their art into their festivals - as today was. It was the last of the weeks before winter; and the karakul needed grazing, the wolves needed fattened up, and the grain needed harvesting. The tribes of Coerthas came together a few times a year to share their goods with one another in trade and compete with each other in sport, and the Kha were getting ready for the event.
Lifting up his crook, Chiteni ducked into the flap of a nearby tent. His mother greeted him as she always did, her smile warm and blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “Out dozing in the fields again?” she chuckled, pulling him down closer to her small frame and kissing his cheek. “Tell me you kept the little black one out of trouble.”
“He thought I was his sparring partner,” Chiteni replied, walking over to the far wall to hang up the crook. He turned back towards her. “You don't suppose father will be back from hunting soon, do you? Eba's leg doesn't seem to be healing right, and I've had to keep more than a few wild wolves off of her.”
Surelun had wandered into the cooking area and was leafing through some of her herbs; their fragile, dried seeds and pollen gently raining down on the countertop as she pulled a few off their strings. Chiteni poked his head into the space as she kept working, never missing a beat. “Hmm. I don't have any more of her medicine…” she muttered, continuing to search. “If we can't get something at the festival we might have to take her out of the herd.” She stopped rummaging and placed a pensive hand on her chin. “Do you think you could go to the willow grove and get some bark for her? I would go myself, but I'm not as young as I used to be, and it's a steep trek.” She smiled up at him. “Plus that's what sons are for, anyway.”
“Well, so long as he brings the dogs back,” Chiteni muttered. “Can I bring Eba into the tent just to keep her safe while I'm gone? I'll make up a spot for her.”
“Of course.” His mother didn't stop hanging her herbs back up as she responded, quietly humming to herself. “I won't be able to dry the bark, so please bring back enough to tide her over until the festival, Chinua. It won't be as potent.”
Chiteni opened the tent to exit, but Surelun's voice stopped him. “I do not know why you are upset with your father, but you two had best make amends,” she said sternly. He could hear her sigh behind him. “Nobody lives forever.”
The sun was red as fire, painting the sky in soft pinks and purples as it swiftly dipped behind the mountains with its usual wintry haste. Chiteni scraped the bark off an old willow tree, being careful not to cut too deeply into it with the knife as he collected the pieces in a small pouch.
“He's never around to even be upset with,” Chiteni snorted, continuing his task.
The sound of running water splashing nearby caught his attention. As it was getting dark, more predators might be out looking for an easy meal; and the willow grove provided ample places for large beasts to hide. Chiteni stilled, swiveling his ears towards the source of the noise. All was quiet save for the burble of the stream but…he thought he could faintly hear a strange beeping noise in his ears. It didn't seem to have a definite source. He shook his head to clear it, and the sound went away.
Curious, he approached the water, careful not to have the wind at his back. Behind the curtain of willow leaves the stream trickled serenely down the slope. It reflected the first rays of moonlight falling over the valley as the sun ducked away for the night and darkness overtook the land; its currents and eddies shimmering in the pale glow. Like a river made of starlight.
There was a sharp, stabbing pain on the left side of his head and he closed his eyes tightly, covering it with his hands. It was as if - like the tree - some knife were scraping against the side of his skull. Suddenly he felt as though he were falling, plunged deep underwater. He hadn't had time to hold his breath - something heavy on his back weighing him down. It was strangely bright beneath the waves. He felt as though he were surrounded by the lights of bioluminescent creatures as he sank deeper, his limbs too heavy to claw their way to the surface. He tried to breathe but something grabbed his throat, constricting around it. He panicked, bubbles escaping his mouth.
Gasping he sat up, his hands still cupping his head as he lay in the grass by the water. The willows whispered gently in the mountain breeze. He searched himself but there was no sign of any deep water or…that he was even wet at all. His heart pounding, he remembered there might be a predator about. Shake it off, he told himself, looking around wildly. Nothing. It's not real, you're just tired.
The sound of a steady beep resumed in his ears, and he felt as though he could still see colorful lights just outside his vision.
“You seem distracted Chiteni, are you alright?” a young Xaela woman rested a hand on his arm as he tied the cords on some decorations they had made earlier that day.
“I- I'm fine,” he stammered unconvincingly, resuming his task. When did I…?
“You're a really bad liar, you know,” a Xaela man approached the two of them. He was roughly the same age, his green eyes accusatory.
“I'm…I don't know, I'm just tired. It's really nothing, Kohlen.”
Kohlen - the male au ra - crossed his arms. “Well I suppose if it was serious you'd tell us.” He gave a slight smile. “But you might tell us even if it isn't, perhaps.”
“You don't need to be so pushy,” the young woman said tersely. “We're all working hard. And with Mazalai always being out, he's doing a lot more than most of us have to.”
“Yeah that's…probably it.” Chiteni stared forward, his hands seeming to move on their own. Everything seemed so…small.
“I can do this by myself now that Kohlen is here,” the auri woman said gently.
“I suck at tying knots, Anza,” Kohlen grunted, his head turned away.
“Anza, do you know what I was doing yesterday?” Chiteni asked hesitantly.
Anza's brown eyes narrowed. “You were avoiding your father. You went out in the field again to make sure the dogs were protecting the karakul. Taking an extra long time.” She sighed heavily. “I know things have been tough. You can talk to us anytime. We aren't kids anymore but…I wish we could speak the way we used to.”
“I haven't spoken to you in years,” Chiteni murmured. Low enough that she wouldn't hear.
The camp was on fire. Tents up in smoke. Temple Knights milling about shouting orders. Chiteni stared in horror. This isn't supposed to happen!
He rushed for home, everything seeming huge around him. The tents towered high above as did the knights whose legs he darted between. The flames almost seemed to reach into the sky - blotting out the stars in the dark reddish-purple expanse. He had to get back to their tent. Before his mother-
“What are you doing here?” A commanding voice cut through the flames and smoke and screams, the scene almost seeming to become muffled, events suddenly moving in slow motion.
He stopped running and turned around. Od Mazalai stood there amongst the fire, seemingly unbothered by the scene around him.
“It's mother!” Chiteni shouted. “She's going to die! We have to help her!”
“You don't belong here. And you can't change what happens. You can only dream of what might have happened instead.”
“Father, please! We have to save her!” he pleaded. He quickly glanced over his shoulder, wondering if there was enough time left before-
“I am not my father.”
He turned. A young miqo'te stood where the man had been, his eyes sad. There was a scar on the bridge of his nose that looked fresh, and blood trickled down his face. “I never can save her. I've tried.”
“What?”
“This is my memory,” the miqo'te boy glared with frustration. “Why are you here? Who are you!?” His mismatched eyes blazed with the flickering of the fire and his clothes looked burnt. His light grayish skin was covered with soot and ash. His voice was hoarse, as if he'd inhaled smoke.
“I-...” Silver looked over himself, bewildered. He was as he ever had been: in his black oversized jacket and torn, patched-up jeans. He could feel the warmth of his regulator as the fire heated it up on the left side of his head. He brushed his fingers over its surface.
“You need to get out of here. I'll show you the way. Come!” The miqo'te boy dashed off into the flames without waiting to see if Silver would follow.
“Wait! You don't understand! I'm here to help you!” Silver dashed after him, remembering his reason for being here at last through the haze of memories and dreams not his own. Time began to move normally again; the sound of screams rending the air and the stench of burning flesh and smoke making it hard to breathe. Silver coughed, his eyes watering. “Chiteni, wait!” he cried, his voice raw. His throat burned and he doubled over, choking. Is this what it felt like?
A knight spotted him wheezing and came over, their eyes glittering with malice through their visor. They grabbed him by the neck of his jacket and Silver squirmed, desperately trying to catch his breath. He was dizzy, a dark fog seeping into the edges of his vision. Sounds seemed to move far away. “Help,” he breathed, desperate, kicking as hard as he could, tail lashing. He grabbed for the knight's helm, and tried to knock it off, but he was torn away when the knight started dragging him.
“Halone's Halls, this place is crawling with dragonspawn,” they muttered in a voice tinged with madness. They cast a piteous glance down at Silver before looking forward again. “Better a dead bastard than a wyrm's slave.”
Silver could barely keep his eyes open as the knight tightened his grip on the boy's collar. It was hard enough to breathe as it was - smoke and ash lined his lungs and he tasted blood in his mouth. He reached weakly towards his nose, feeling the scar that Chiteni had on his face in the same place. Why does this keep happening?
The knight dragged him out of the tents and fire and into the cold night. Silver hadn't noticed snow was falling steadily until this moment - his feet hardly able to find purchase as he was hauled unceremoniously before a stone outside of the commotion. The knight tossed him towards it and Silver wheezed, trying to get back up. He felt as though he were trying to breathe lightning. It burned and spiked and jabbed at his throat as he desperately attempted to take in the cold night air. He heard the sound of metal sliding against metal and glimpsed the edge of a blade reflected in the distant firelight ilms from his face.
“Wa…wait,” he held up a hand, leaning back against the stone. He had so many questions. He didn't understand what was going on. Lost in this relentless tide of memory and dream that threatened to consume who he was.
As the knight lifted the blade, Silver squeezed his eyes shut. What happens when you die in a dream?
There was a gasp and the sound of bone and muscle cracking and tearing. Of a weight falling into the snow. And then silence. Only the distant sound of the fire crackling.
“You are going to answer my questions.”
Silver looked up, the man who he thought must surely be the person he was here to find stood over the body of the knight, blood dripping from a massive greatsword in his hands. There was a strange light in his eyes and Silver leaned back, thinking of the fervent madness the knight had expressed as they had dragged him here. It was a fiery glow that came from within, even as the world blazed around them. Like burning embers.
Chiteni reached out to him, helping him stand. The wild light was gone, replaced by a sort've disconnected melancholy. “I need to dream a better dream,” he muttered, as if to himself. He turned away.
“What?”
Chiteni sat by himself on a long wooden bench, Silver standing in an aisleway adjacent to him. Startled, he patted himself down. No trace of fire or ash or smoke, no horrifying smell of burning flesh. He felt his face - no scar.
“What are you doing here?” Chiteni asked again, seeming annoyed. “Better answer quick before I think of something else, again. My attention span isn't really what it used to be,” he said the last part with a dry sense of humor, a smile almost escaping through his voice.
Silver couldn't answer the question right away. His gaze wandered the room. Multicolored light from panels of some colorful glass-like substance framed the walls just-so, their filtered brilliance strategically peppering the floor with motifs of war and beasts and holy figures. A long central aisle was flanked on either side by exquisite wood and stone benches carved with beautiful patterns of leaves and nature. Down the aisle itself was a lush blue velvet carpet and a wooden stand adorned by a massive stone statue of a woman in armor, her face covered. She held a shield and a spear, her long flowing hair cascading behind her and framing her image in a graceful way. Candles dotted the altar around her, but the room seemed otherwise unoccupied.
“Where are we?” Silver asked, awestruck. He immediately felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. As if he were here to mourn for someone.
“Not my best memory.”
Silver looked over at him. Chiteni had changed again, now adorned in heavy red and black armor.
“The ‘where.’ My memories. Now, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help me understand who you are and what you're doing here. Because it's been difficult to control where you end up. And I really am not the biggest advocate for killing people with my mind - that's what the sword is for.” He gestured to the greatsword resting on the bench beside him, looking slightly annoyed.
“I'm here to…to get you out.” Silver wasn't sure what he'd been led to expect but it wasn't this.
“Ah, you're doing a fine job,” Chiteni said dryly, frowning.
“Your friends miss you,” Silver offered.
“I'd miss them too if I were certainly capable. But I'm sure if you're here you understand how I ended up in this place?”
For a brief moment a brilliant light flashed through the glass, blinding Silver. He felt a strange sensation in his chest and he gasped, Chiteni swearing next to him.
“Hey, are you alright?” Silver focused again, the sensation gone. Chiteni stood in front of the young man as if blocking him from something. Two great black wings stretched behind him and protectively curled around the two; Chiteni's eyes focused on Silver, a hand on his shoulder. He was wearing blue leather armor trimmed in gold. He looked slightly older.
Silver nodded, exhaling. The tension left Chiteni's grip and he laughed quietly. “I really shouldn't think about that.”
“This place is made up of your memories because it…is your memories,” Silver cautiously tried to piece things together.
Chiteni nodded. “You can only live my memories as me - sorry about that, by the way. I hope you're all there, still.”
“Yeah, I- I think so.”
“Well alright then. What's your name?”
“Silver.”
“Silver. I've got some bad news. I'm…just a memory. I cannot meaningfully influence anything. I'm just…thoughts with no outlet. I can't leave. I can hardly even keep you safe here.”
“I…I can help. At least, I'm here to try.”
“The only way you can do anything is if you can find the rest of me.” Chiteni sighed. “I got myself into this mess - do not ask me to think about it - I don't know if we'll end up elsewhere again. But I'm trapped here. Wherever here is.”
Silver thought of the water he'd been plunged into. The lights. The beeping sound. “I think I know where you are. Like, physically. I have a guess, anyway.”
Chiteni shook his head. “That doesn't matter. I have no agency. I can act the way I would but it isn't the same as being alive. Memory without soul.”
“I think I can help you with that.”
Chiteni stood quietly at the entrance to Everkeep, looking up as the spire rose high into the sky. Thunderclouds loomed overhead, roiling and crackling. He held a dark wing up over Silver as rain began to slowly patter around them on the electrope walkway. He looked at the younger miqo'te, that strange light in his eyes. “While I may not do anything that I wouldn't do with a soul, I need you to understand that if you have something that belongs to me…I am going to have to ask why you think I shouldn't keep you here.” His comforting gesture seemed to turn incredibly ominous as the rain rolled off his feathers. He wasn't much taller than Silver as a whole, but the threat made Silver's hackles rise. Whatever he was dealing with was at once capricious and without Chiteni's general morality.
“I'm not happy about the situation, either,” Silver stared at him, pushing his wing away. The two stood in the rain as it hammered down around them, eyeing one another with sudden wariness. Chiteni's gaze looked hungry as he took a step forward. Silver stepped back. “We shouldn't fight. You don't know what might happen, and you don't want to ruin your chance to escape, right?”
Chiteni's shoulders sagged and he hung his head. “I don't, you're right. I'm not myself, here. Not entirely.” He stood up straighter, flicking rain from an ear. “What's your plan?”
Still wary, Silver pressed forward, “I told you, I'm here to get you out.”
“How?”
“I don't really know. I mean…I've never tried coercing a memory before.”
“Well, I can't get out without what you have. So what's the way to make it work? To get us to…commingle?” Chiteni explained, “If I have experience and skill and information you want, and you have the soul I want - how do you plan to blend those things?”
“I don't…wait.” Silver reached up to his regulator, pulling it off. “This is how I got in here.”
“You think it can get us both out?”
“With a medium…maybe? Do you have a regulator?”
Chiteni closed his eyes, clenching his fists. “Please say something else. Quickly.”
Silver felt that spike of pain on the side of his head again, as if a knife were scraping the inside of his skull. That strange tugging sensation began to pull on his chest as well, the pain bringing him to his knees. He could barely see Chiteni standing nearby, breathing heavily.
“What- what is this? Why does this keep happening!?” Silver shouted over the rain. An incredibly loud, high-pitched whining sound droned in his ears. He felt like a hand was reaching into his chest, trying to rip something out.
Silver gasped, suddenly alone and dry. Wherever he was it was too dark to see clearly. He felt a stone floor underneath his feet, and the space was enormous but temperate. The air still. Out of the darkness a pair of red eyes stared back at him, almost as if they were sizing him up. They moved with unnatural silence and swiftness all around him; whatever being they were tied to seeming almost weightless as it surveyed him. The air remained undisturbed.
He slowly reached for his regulator, unsure if it would work here. But whatever this thing was, he could sense no danger from it. He couldn't sense anything was even there.
Chiteni was nowhere to be seen, and a voice trickled into Silver's mind. It dripped with an oily malevolence, seeping into his thoughts like sweet honey.
I can get you out. Both of you.
“Where is Chiteni?” Silver stepped back, hand still by the side of his head. “You have to be one of his memories - so where is he?”
Here.
“You aren't even answering my questions.”
I am here.
“That's…that really doesn't help. I can tell you aren't him. Why lie?”
You wish to remain as yourself. I can help you.
Silver bit his lip, looking at the ground briefly. He clenched his fists, then relaxed. “I've…already made peace with that.”
Have you, now?
“What could you possibly want in return for all these promises? You aren't just asking out of the goodness of your heart. You won't even be honest with me,” Silver shot back. His voice wavered, but only slightly. The entity narrowed its eyes in the dark.
I want to come with you. That is all.
Silver thought quietly for a moment. A shred of hope began to burn in his chest like the embers of a cold fire stirred by metal. He looked at the strange shadow, thinking. Its red eyes glittered.
“Come with me?”
The eyes closed but he could tell it was nodding.
“Are you trapped here, too?”
For so long.
“I don't even know how to get us out.”
Suddenly Silver felt its presence for the first time. It was like that of a night breeze in summer, whispering through the trees. He could feel rather than see as it gestured to his regulator.
Just use this delightful trinket.
Silver hesitated. The chance to be free - to escape his fate - it was so tantalizing it hurt. He thought about Chiteni and his friends; about how everything that had happened was his fault. That he knew that going into it. That Chiteni had wasted his freedom making the decisions that led him here. That maybe…he didn't deserve any of it.
The red-eyed thing smiled.
Author's Note: Omg this one is SUPER LONG but it was so fun to write! It's a bit above my skill level to convey the...strangeness of a dream. But I really wanted to try! I had this idea and it was so cool...Maybe I'll get to rewrite this sometime with the experience I gather later on - get the weirdness across even better!
I wanted to sort've convey an...uneasiness at the start. And I figured having his mother in the story would be like alarm bells for anyone who knows anything about her. This place is memory, yes but we also fabricate things in our memories all the time. Especially surrounding things that left a great impact upon us. So we 'dream a better dream' as it were. And our dreams are memories, too. This...'memory' version of Chiteni is missing something vital to himself, and he acts a bit uncharacteristically. He's quick to switch from one emotion to the next - as if sort've pantomiming them but not really FEELING them. Kind've like a sociopath lol But I really hope you enjoyed the strangeness as much as I have!
