#chkrschss rambles

[chkrschss]

Probably a real conversation between Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua:

Shen Qingqiu flips through the immense stack of paper handed to him. “Wow you actually did something good. This is impressive. I can’t believe someone–“

“Hold up.”

The Qing Jing Peak lord looked up. Shang Qinghua was staring at the ceiling with a wobbly smile and dramatic turned up to the max.

“What are you–“

Shang Qinghua raises a hand to stop the other peak lord from further speaking. He inhaled sharply, “Lemme relish this moment.”

In Shang Qinghua’s office on An Ding Peak, all that could be seen was said peak’s lord with a single tear rolling down his cheek. Right next to the cultivator was an exasperated Shen Qingqiu with an expression of immense disdain.

…

A few seconds passed before Shang Qinghua sighed. “Thank you for honoring this moment of rarity, Cucumber-bro. I just needed a moment with that compliment. “

“Fuck you.”

[chkrschss]

Yknow what would be funny? One Halloween, SQH and SY decide to be Gomez and Morticia but “definitely as bros”.

And Shang Qinghua ends up being insanely good at impersonating Gomez Addams. He’s waxing poetry like a man on a mission. Calling Shen Yuan “my vicious Cobra Lily” and crap.

And Shen Yuan just thinks it’s funny. Also lowkey impressed with how well a long black dress fits him well. The dramatics when SQH is play-flirting with him are cranked up to a 100.

The two of them are being so obnoxious. Strangers are certain the two are a couple. They play the part of a sappy couple too well.

And then there’s Luo Binghe and Mobei Jun. Chugging vinegar in the background. Misunderstanding ensue because what do you mean the two guys in couples costumes aren’t dating? This has to mean something.

[chkrschss]

Meng Mo vs. the thousands upon thousands of dreams filled with Shen Qingqiu that occupy Luo Binghe’s brain space

[chkrschss]

SQH being tired and disheveled as he finishes fixing one of his stupid wife plots that includes political upheaval (plot #184 or some shit). He is draped across a chair that is way too uncomfortable to be draping a person on.

And then there’s Mobei Jun. Who sees this and is absolutely enamored. Definitely enjoying seeing SQH from the aftermath of a political relations battle. The only thing in the man’s mind is “my life is secure with a man like this.”

[chkrschss]

I will now distract myself by thinking about Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua trying to prove a wife plot is plausible and completely freaking out their disciples.

Not because the wife plot is something like vaguely romantic. Nay. This wife plot is a series of insane close calls that the two keep miraculously avoiding. They are bickering and perfectly navigating away from run away carts, scalding tea, collapsing building, and a random poisonous snake.

Aside from the accidents, the duo look like they are on a date. Going to a bookstore, having tea in a tea house, walking through a field of flowers, buying each other trinkets from stalls, and feeding each other street food. It all looks insanely suspicious. Actually, the accidents make the disciples wonder if a malicious spirit is involved.

It turns out, it was just an insane series of coincidences. SQH and SQQ walk away unscathed. The disciples are a little traumatized but uninjured

[chkrschss]

I know Binghe’s animal form would be Bingpup but gigantic Maine Coon Binghe is so appealing to me.

Shen Yuan is trying to read PIDW but Bingcat’s big fluffy tail is blocking his view of the screen. Or he’s trying to have a restful evening and all he can hear is claws on floor as Bingcat zooms by to parkour on every surface.

Additionally, Bingcat destroying every PIDW Luo Binghe memorabilia SY possesses but is very satisfied with the portrait of himself on SY’s desk.

[chkrschss]

If the system had a chat feature, I think SQH and SY’s convo’s would be half arguing and half sudden major event notification text. For example:

SQH: for the lasttime bri, i wasnt thingnabohf the concept of transmigrating into the universe i waa wriitingggg

SQQ: You’re inability to be grammatically correct is like poison in my veins. Shut the fuck up. It’s still your fault.

SQH: bruh

Next day

SQH: were erasing the exisitince of bloody jade crane demon clan cuz they said their princess is prettier that u n my son didnt like that

SQQ: Stop calling him your son and tell Binghe I said no.

SQH: fine

Radio silence for a week or so

SQQ: LQQ apparently ticked off the last Phoenix of the four wings to the point that they decided to self implode over a later body of water because it’ll be harder for it to piece itself back together. Some wild life already accidentally consumed Phoenix ashes.

SQH: did I write phoneis to be like that

SQQ: Not sure. You never mentioned them in PIDW

SQH: prolly a latenight thingidk

[chkrschss]

Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe taking a nice stroll in the bamboo forest

Luo Binghe: The bamboo forest is so lovely around this time of the day. Isn’t that right, Shizun?

Shen Qingqiu: Yes it is, Binghe. It is nice to get away from work.

Luo Binghe: No one really walks around here. No one would hear you scream 🥰

Shen Qingqiu: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Luo Binghe: I said “It’s something out of a dream”, Shizun. Trust.