choi jongho x afab reader
𓏲ּ genre : angst & fluff
𓏲ּ synopsis : you find yourself needing your husband's time more. the nail in the coffin is when jongho misses your son's tennis match.
𓏲ּ details : husband!jongho . slight arguing . domestic fluff .
𓏲ּ wc : 1.6k
𓏲ּ notes : guys i swear the next thing i post won't be angst 🙏😭 | also this was only briefly proofread so i do apologise if there are any mistakes i haven't caught!
there’s one specific thought that hasn’t stopped persistently running through your mind, and it’s actively fueling your frustration.
it was just one day and yet he didn't make it.
he "couldn't" make it. his words, not yours.
“jongho, i’ve been telling you about this for two weeks. i’ve been reminding you continuously since then and each time you reassured me that you’d make it, no matter what.” you firmly say, voice thick with disappointment. there’s no raising of your voice.
the response you receive is silence.
from where you’re sat on the couch, elbows dug into knees, you choose to turn your gaze away from him.
oddly enough, it’s one of the very few things he’s done tonight that hasn’t pissed you off. this particular moment of silence feels rather needed.
“hi…i’m so sorry–i know this isn’t the right moment–”
“hey mina–please. you’re absolutely fine love.” you raise a gentle, playful eyebrow at you and jongho’s babysitter, quick as always to reassure the young girl.
you acknowledge in the back of your mind that she obviously heard your argument with your husband. how much she heard is unbeknownst to you, but that doesn’t bother you as much as you imagined it would because honestly? you just want tonight to end.
“jae’s–uhm–fast asleep. i’ll see myself out–and i’ll call you tomorrow to let you know how he was.” mina nervously affirms as she walks backwards in the direction of the door.
as soon as you first met mina, in great need of a babysitter, the very first thing you noticed about her was how nervous she was. poor girl couldn’t have been more flustered. despite that, her nerves never once got in the way of you being able to tell that she was a sweetheart and truly everything you’ve been looking for in a childminder.
it’s always fascinated you how well children can read someone’s presence. so when it took less than fifteen minutes for your little boy to get used to mina and be his bright, clingy self with her, you knew your decision was made.
she’s now remained jae’s babysitter for almost seven months. you can tell that slowly but surely, she’s coming out of her shell and evidently growing more comfortable with you and your family.
it’s just times like these where as a mother, you find your protective and nurturing side stepping forward when you see mina in her moments of slight anxiety. you’re always the quickest in the room to reassure the girl.
so you stand up, copying her as you also walk towards the door. you watch as she grabs her belongings.
a genuine, little smile of yours appears for the first time tonight. “thank you as always for tonight mina.”
she’s often easy to read, so you can almost instantly tell she feels bad. despite her doing nothing wrong whatsoever, it’s noticeable that she feels bad for ending up stepping in an awkward, tense moment between the family.
as per usual, you bring her in for a hug to say goodbye.
as you pull away, hands on her shoulders, you take the chance to cease her overthinking mind. “please don’t fret your head over that back there by the way, it was just an already awkward moment you happened to walk into. nothing more.”
you can’t help but take notice of the way her shoulders slump so slightly but so noticeably out of relief.
she tilts her head a little bit as she smiles before speaking, “thank you y/n. i…needed that. i hope you guys are okay.”
it’s after a few exchanges of well wishes and one more quick hug to say goodbye that you find yourself back in the living room with jongho.
your arms are crossed as you sit yourself back down on the couch, glancing everywhere but at the man in front of you.
focusing so much on your number one mission to not look in jongho’s direction leads you to failure. eventually, he’s in your precise line of vision as he crouches down in front of you, pulling up the material of his pants as he does so.
“look at me. please.” jongho says lightly. you follow through with what he asks of you.
he takes your hands in his gingerly. there’s evident remorsement painting his features, and honestly? it gladdens you. it shows you that he understands; he understands why you’re this upset.
“i love you so much. i love you so, so much. i need to show you that more.” he nods affirmingly. it feels like a nod more to himself than to you.
“you and jae are my two favourite people, i couldn’t stress that enough even if i tried. you both deserve more from me. more time, more attention.” you’ve been wanting to hear him say that he recognises that for the longest time.
you end up trying to stop a smile from making too much of an appearance, and in doing so, the more you try, the quicker your smile ultimately does catch up to you. so you do the next best thing; you lower your head instead.
jongho isn’t exactly letting that happen though.
“i haven’t seen that smile enough these days. look at me y/n, let me see it.” he says as he hooks a finger underneath your chin, forcing your gaze to be met with his again.
it’s little things like this that you missed more than you realised. he makes you shy, like you’re a teenager all over again.
“y/n you’ve–you’ve just given me so much, and so much time as my wife, as my best friend, as my partner. i want to and will do the same for you.” you continue listening with softening eyes.
“you and jae are my top priority y/n. always. as a father, as a husband, i will do better. i promise.”
“i’m so sorry baby.” he doesn’t waste a single second to lean forward and embrace you. it’s so warm and gentle and loving.
you’re almost embarrassed at how quickly you are to embrace him just as tightly. almost.
you snuggle into jongho’s neck before murmuring out a soft “thank you”.
the fact he’s someone you can trust to hold himself accountable for his mistakes and work forwards from them means more to you than you can put into words.
you feel the calming sensation of jongho moving his hand under your shirt and rubbing your back. if you thought before that you couldn’t possibly melt any further into him, you just easily proved yourself wrong.
everything you’ve just heard from jongho is everything you’ve been needing to hear for longer than you’d like to admit. you just wanted him a little bit more, and so did your little boy.
waking up this morning with jae and seeing how excited he was for his tennis match and for daddy to finally be able to make it to one after many many unattended ones just to be once again let down absolutely broke your heart, and you decided enough was enough. you weren’t going to allow your boy to keep going through that.
you pull away to look at him, jongho’s hand slipping from under your shirt as you do so. “jae was so excited to see you today jjong.”
you hear jongho let out a small sigh as he stands back up to take a seat beside you to your right on the couch, gently taking your hands into his. “i know. i’m so sorry. i wanna sit down and talk to him tomorrow. we can have a talk about how he’s been feeling. get everything off his chest you know.”
you smile upon hearing jongho’s words.
you can’t put into words how happy it makes you to know you have someone by your side who listens and hears both you and your son. jongho isn’t shy about owning up to his mistakes and doing better from them. you couldn’t have asked for a better father for your child.
you nod, humming in agreement before responding. “i think that’s exactly what he needs. thank you.”
with a raise of your right hand, jongho presses a long peck, deep peck to the back of your hand.
“thank you for hearing me.” you say.
“thank you. thank you for talking to me and holding me accountable. you and jae need me present more and now i know that’s what i need to work on.”
“i think i’ve just been so focused on wanting to do the best i can for you both. i want to provide for our family as much as possible, you both deserve the best and i wanna give that to you.”
you give jongho’s hand a squeeze, showing him a loving smile that can be slightly heard in your voice. “i hear that. i really do love. and i genuinely don’t think i could ever show you just how grateful i am of you. just need you here with me a little more. just need you here with us…a little more.”
“c’mere.” jongho wraps his arms around your middle, pulling you into his arms once again. softening into his embrace, you hold jongho just as close as he holds you.
“i’m here y/n. i’ll be here.”
it’s later on when you’re in bed, beside jongho, on the very edge of falling asleep that you faintly hear your husband’s voice.
“thank you for always making me become a better person. a better husband and a better father.”
maybe he thought you were asleep, but you’re glad you were awake to hear him.
with a kiss pressed to his lips, you find jongho’s hand under the covers and place them into yours.
“love you baby. so much.”
