So manny things to let go. How you texted me about serious plans as soon as I get to work. Why not wait for a more freer time to discuss. I reply I do not know if so becaus of the situation I was in, being a working-single mother. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I had a sour patch attitude. Perhaps I was too dramatic about my response becaus I was in a situation, being a working-single mother working through what I was figuring out..... just maybe .
Either way, the way my feelings were effected after.... it hurt recently becaus of the attentiveness you’ve had while now on your own job. It bothers me becaus you completely overlook whole conversations. Overlook complete messages that could have used a response. If I were to ever then respond with an inquiry of what the meaning is to the inattentive way you’ve been handling me for weeks.
You reply with nothing. Nothing. So the way your communication has staggered, your care for details & transparency. I no longer have a case to state and in which I stood on behalf of my pourly nourished spirit. I love you so much I drew back in yet I’ve seen me in so much that I’m ready, if needed, to fall out with you to reconnect with the person I want to be. And continue to become. I can’t keep myself down for things I’ve down in the passed. Things I could never change nor the feelings attached to the experiences.
Realizing when I felt like I’d lose my mental if I ever lost you. Saying it’ll take a while for me to be me again. Yet I feel the sadness of your presence missing strongly. It wouldn’t tear me into shreds as I previously thought.
Regardless of the outcome. What we’ve been through has taught me a lot. It has brought me through things that I’d never fully faced before. I gained clarity, wisdom and deep expression of myself, as in my upbringing I didn’t entirely receive the fundamentals to maximize these traits. I’ve needed what you offered me, for me to be my best self. My best person.
Don’t want this to be the end but to the way I’ve been feeling. Or it may have to be.
