#chrianna ff

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Twenty.

London traffic makes me angry, like this shit is just a waste of time and I hate it, I always like to do stupid shit but I have the police parked right behind me in this traffic so I am just sat here waiting with Rylee on the phone, I mean we aren’t speaking but I am just here, she is talking to someone so I am waiting really “ok sorry, I am back” she said “you know what, I actually hate the way wat you say Tion name, it sounds slutty, as you say” Rylee snorted laughing “shut up!” she spat “I was baffled you use that term, slutty, that sounds weird coming from you and that accent of yours” I miss her, she has been in Italy for two days now “well blame my friends, what can I say but do you seriously think I sound slutty saying his name? Be real, I am more like telling him to do his job” I sniggered “I am joking, but what he do, I thought you like Tion. That day when I called you a dickhead, he was side eyeing me and glaring at me like I was the opp” looking in my rearview mirror, I swear I wish the police weren’t there “well he is protecting his woman!” she spat “oh woman? Oh is it, right now there is a bunch of girls in the car next to me and they are looking, I am going to put the window down just to piss you off” Rylee gasped “I was joking!” she can shout all she wants, putting the volume down “nah, you annoyed me now” putting the window down “alright” I said, the scream they let out “damn, relax. It’s ok, y’all good?” I asked, “traffic is jarring isn’t it” oh they recording now “it’s the best thing, I love you so much and you’re better in person, oh my god!” the girl said “that is funny, thank you. Y’all ain’t from around here?” I questioned “we just came to London for a hen party! We are from Liverpool” letting out an oh “I heard about you Liverpool girls, wild” I grinned “we party the best Cench” nodding my head “I bet, but I appreciate the love, I could hear you chanting my name for a while now. I just didn’t want to have people peeping and that you know, it’s all love” waving them off, putting the window back up “you’re a dick” putting the volume back up “then don’t chat shit then” finally this shit is moving “mhmm I didn’t mean it, you was flirting and I know you was smiling from the way you was talking, I am not happy” switching lanes because I want to get rid of the police really “then we can be not happy together, it’s romantic” I laughed to myself, she is pissed off and I know it.

Rylee has stayed on the phone with but quiet “I am here now you know, so we equal?” she scoffed “well whatever, why did you do that?” she asked “because you literally called Tion your man, I don’t know this guy! I don’t care, he was mean mugging me the last time I peeped, like I don’t care. You could like this guy, how do I fucking know?” she went silent on the phone “fine, ok I did annoy you so you’re at the place then? Is my dad there” seeing him get out of the car with Aziel “he is here, whatever though” I shrugged “Oakley, please. He does adore you a lot and he does feel bad, let him talk to you and make it up to you, do not be stubborn and make him the victim, please. Listen to me in things, this is what I know. Just let him do the running, he knows he fucked up and he did bad just don’t talk down to him please, for me. I know you pissed off with him but please” I sighed out “alright, I am going now. Talk later if you can, don’t work too hard with Tion” I had to mention it “shut up!” she spat “I love you, I miss you so much” grabbing my phone from the handle and getting out of the car “I love you too Lee, you have to see me as soon you land babe” Aziel ran to me “that isn’t for a few days, but I will call you tonight your time, bye” disconnecting the call “I missed you! Where have you been” I always love when he holds my legs, like for him that is a hug “I am home!” he spat “well not my home was it” picking him up “I have missed you, you know that” he nodded his head “papa here” he pointed “I can see, you ready for boxing? Get all that pent up naughtiness out of you” he grinned “hey” I said to Chris “what’s up?” he said back “you got his bag?” I asked “oh yeah, it’s here” I am going to keep it neutral with him.

I chuckled at Aziel, him skipping is the funniest thing but he is trying to do it, the trainer is trying to get him to comply but his legs ain’t doing it “he is funny” Chris said “he is” I added “I can tell he appreciates these moments, the way he looks over to check you’re still there to watch him, that’s love” nodding my head “well this is on my list as the first thing to do with him, I rather stay here in London so I can do this with him, instead of him hitting kids he can learn discipline, it’s nice” Aziel ran over to us “big workout today” he is huffing and puffing, passing his water to him, he pointed “I punch now” I think his favourite part is his little fists punching those bags “you’re Chris Brown” some child came over to us, Aziel looked at him “you’re Cench” he pointed “no my dad, and it’s papa” he put his foot down with that “your dad is him” he pointed “this my dad” ran into me “my dad” reaching over to the kid and dapping him “I peeped you out there, you good” he smiled “thank you” he said “go on, go” taking the water bottle from him “he is too proud of his pops” I sighed out “yeah, I mean it’s whatever, I don’t think it’s hard to be better then my own dad, you know. He ain’t shit really is he” I said “Oakley, I am sorry” he apologised “it’s fine, we can be cordial. It’s just ruined init because them two are still texting, so allow it. We can’t be what we are because your daughter reached out to Juke, and that ain’t something you going to like so I think for Rylee we be cool for that” looking at him, he ain’t liking what he is hearing “he showed me the message and she messaged him first, I just don’t want it. So us, the bond we had we might as well forget” Chris put his head down “ok” he just said, he can’t control his anger and what is even the point in it, we can just be cordial, I know him as much as he knows me, and I know he is big mad now.

Aziel wanted to go for ice cream, but he wanted me there as well, this kid is annoying because I am having to be here with Chris even longer “Oakley” Chris said, looking up from my phone “look, you know I don’t give a fuck about anyone, I do not care for anyone besides my own, but I care about you, I came here not to babysit Aziel, but for you. I look at you as my own and I am sorry, I am sorry I came at you the way I did; I am sorry I wasn’t there for you with your dad. I let you down, I know I did and that hurt you because you needed me, I know Oakley you are let down by me. You needed me even if you didn’t verbally say it and I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there in Guyana with you and then when you came back, you saw me, and I came at you. I regret it, my regret is I came at you, and for that I am sorry. Come on man, I know you. I hung out with you for too long to know you, you needed me, and I wasn’t there. You did what you needed to do for him, look I am fed up. I can’t keep chasing these grown girls anymore, or be beating people up, I am done. I saw red with Juke and yeah, I did knock him over, it was stupid of me, but you and I know I do a lot for these girls, but I can’t do anymore, Imani is the last of it and I am done. Emi, I hope I am dead because I can’t do it anymore. I haven’t even apologised to Herb, I punched him, but I came to you because it’s upsetting me to know you feel that, you lost your dad, and you was falling apart, and I promised I would come but I came to you like that. Oakley I am so sorry bro” I swallowed hard “I have so much care for you, you know that. Tell me, I want to hear it” I know what Rylee wants, I don’t want to make her life difficult either, but I know Chris cares, he is genuine.

I huffed out “look Juke is what he is, but he is my only brother. And it does take two, when you came to me about Rylee, and that all happened I took it yeah but with Juke he isn’t me, I knew where he was, as much as he is what he is, he can be led astray, this is why I got blame when he got stabbed he is stupid. Imani was to blame too but she didn’t get that, she got a little sprinkle of shouting, but you didn’t show that guy that came to the apartment when Rylee was pregnant and shouting, knocked me out, Imani got a holiday, but my brother could have been killed. I get it, you can be angry all you want, you have a right too, but she is of age, and she isn’t a stupid girl as you all make it seem to be, Juke comes to me, he shows me, he said to me he is scared but she is at this point harassing him, putting it on him. I uhm, I ain’t her dad, and you can do as you please, but I know Rylee been through a hell of a lot more with you then any of Ti and Imani put together, I was there, I saw it. You wasn’t even there for him, the hate you held for Rylee was deep, but you was hurt, I took that, but you don’t think that hurts Ti and Rylee, you let Imani off with it, people around got hurt instead. I am upset with you Chris, because at that time I lost my dad and so did Juke, you wanted me to lose my brother, you could have punched him instead really. Then you came at me, fucked up way too, that hurt” Chris is silent, he ain’t mad at all “I did need you, you right, I needed you to tell me fucking relax, but you wasn’t, and it’s happened now, but like maybe time will heal thing but things will change in many ways, and at the end of the day we will have a connection more then ever now, including Juke” I take Chris’ silence as he knows I am right.

Chris nodded his head slowly “I have regrets with Rylee, even when Robyn called me and told me. I did say she was dead to me; I wasn’t there for the birth, I wasn’t there for any of it, you right. I did a lot of things to her; I wanted her so hidden that she didn’t exist. She is scarred from pregnancy because of me, from her pictures to baby shower to her being hidden. It was calculated by me to her mother and fed down, I made everything hell, and yeah Imani is being let off lightly more than the older two, because I don’t know how to punish a girl that doesn’t understand, I don’t Oakley. I am sorry, I am sorry that I am this way. I took it too far, honest truth but we don’t know what to do with her, that is a decision we still thinking of. I am so proud of Rylee and Tianna, both of them girls. But see it from my point of view, my guy you was older then her, I was mad, but I did take it too far. And I treated you like my son, and I still do. I just want us to go back to how we was, I do. I promise to not ever do that to you or Juke, I won’t, if I do see him again. No matter, he is your family” nodding my head “and not being there for you with your dad, I am sorry” I took in a deep breath “wasn’t worth you coming though, you never came did you” I questioned “you say that, but I wasn’t worth the flight, was I? You took care of me through cancer, I see you as more, my dad wasn’t there for me, you was when I had cancer, when I needed you for other shit, but you didn’t come for that. Allow it though, just allow it” I got up from the chair “I will be back” I said to Aziel.

Aziel is just so quiet, but I feel bad “I am proud of you, you won the award. I posted you on my page” I turned my phone to him “me!?” he spat “yes, and Dave said he big proud of you too, and he can’t wait to see you soon” he grinned “I am so proud of you with how far you come with that boxing venture, you putting in work too son, I see it” my son is so happy “the family is coming down” he said to me “yeah Lee was saying” I mumbled “Oakley, I do need to make it up to you, I was wrong. And you did expect more of me minus the whole Juke thing, I never did come, and I wasn’t there. You lost your dad, I get it. But hand on my heart, and it sounds soppy, but I love you a lot, you my own” looking at Chris “I get it, but you should be aware that Imani is still in contact with my brother, she messaged him first” I want him to know that “I don’t care about that” he is upset about what I have said really “Aziel, Chris is going to take you home ok. I have to go now, dad has things he needs to do with Slawn and the gang, give me hug” he got up from the chair “I call you please” I chuckled “yes you can call me, you better say goodnight to me alright” hugging him “big proud of you though” pressing a kiss to the top of his head “see you soon ok” he nodded his head, looking at Chris “see you soon” Aziel hasn’t let me go yet “I miss you” I cooed out “so do I but I need to go now, so please” he sighed out “bye dad” he is so cute “won’t be gone for long” walking off, I do have things I have to do, that ain’t a lie with all that.

Sitting next to Walid, he is editing my thing. I am excited for it “look what Ed said though” he clicked on the clip “Central Cee my boy, and Rylee. It was such a pleasure to be in the moment with you and wish you both the best” I cooed out “and Wadz” he clicked on the clip “I am going to try and keep it short from the sandpit to now, bro I am so happy for you. It’s a different thing when you come from where we come from, love was never on the list and was never going to be easy. To see this, I may shed a tear and Rylee, you make my boy happy and you are always welcoming when I see you, so yeah. I love you both a lot, and Aziel. We excited, see mom and pops married yeah” Aziel nodded his head smiling “he like I do not care I am out just out with the boys” he laughed out “this is cute, like to see all the thing, appreciate it. Oh she is calling me” answering Rylee call “are you in bed?” no hi or nothing “I am with my friends why? You feeling a little heated” Walid snorted laughing “oh why would you say that with boys there! Maybe but it doesn’t matter now, you affected my dad, what did you say to him?” Rylee is on heat, why didn’t I go Italy “I said what I had to say, like I am hurt so I had to say it, what he say?” I wonder what he said “that he feels really bad, that his behaviour was too much, you spoke like a grown man to him, he seen a change” rubbing the back of my neck “well I am entering the next stage of my life I have too, but I also did it for you, because I know you want us to get on so I had to say it, but if he is upset about then maybe he has took in what I said” Rylee sighed out “true, why aren’t you home, asshole” she is big mad “because I am not, just use a picture or something, I am sure you have some” which she does “no I wanted you to talk dirty to me with that British accent, ugh. I hate you” she is a trip “you’re so stupid” I laughed out “no you are! You could have spoke some nasty shit to me, I needed it” I can’t stop laughing “stop it” she is making me go red, she is crazy.

[calypsoff3]

Fifty Seven.

Robyn is an emotional wreck; she really is so emotional about today and I am so calm about it all. It’s a new era for our eldest and I am really not sure how to feel really, I am scared because she is going to enter the big world now and she will soon become the independent woman, I know she is the brightest girl I know, she isn’t stupid and even though she plays around a lot she is literally the most brightest girl, she isn’t dumb at all and I really think she gets her brains from me, I will take that but I am proud of her and whatever she is going to do next. I feel sad because I miss that small girl telling me what to do, she is growing now what can I say about it “mom, dad I will be going there early. I will drive myself there” raising an eyebrow “I drive now dad, so I will see you all there” nodding my head “why is mom still crying” I laughed “she can’t stop, I told you she is sensitive” making my way over to Rylee  “I wish I could say stop growing but it’s only upwards now, you know” Rylee smiled “I know, it’s erm, it’s scary because I already feel like I have lost friends, I don’t know but you know, I think some were jealous of me to be honest and for me to get into NYU too, I think it’s me and a few others, like five I think that got the best performing but I accept the hate, I won’t be here for long. I will then be moving to New York and I will find other friends, I guess” stuffing my hands in my pockets “you and North not friends?” I hope they are, they are having a joint party “oh we are friends, North isn’t my only friend but people change dad. And it didn’t take people long to change” this is just the start for her “Rylee you will learn that the people you leave school with, they aren’t really going to be on the journey with you. And you do find out that they were lowkey haters, you should be the proudest of yourself, imagine that. NYU, I am proud of you, but I am also feeling it” I smiled “your baby is grown” I chuckled “yeah, yeah. That little girl that would tell me I can’t cook and I must order pizza because you are hungry and this was ten at night on a school night or you telling me that I just want to be like mom, and I will be just like her and you on the right road to be the next person to take over Fenty, I know you will ace it” Rylee’ lower lip quivered “what is wrong with you now?” what is with the women “will I always be your baby dad” I chuckled “always, stop it” wrapping my arm around her, now she got me teary eyed “proud of you Rylee, I am really so happy with you” Rylee sniffled “now my make up is ruined” we both laughed.

Sitting down next to Robyn in the crowd of parents at the school, I hate wearing suits. My balls be getting caught up in the pants at times, and the pants ride up every time “my first American graduation” Robyn said looking around “oh I forget that you’re foreign” Robyn’ looked at me “you married one” nodding my head “I just didn’t know what you was saying, I agreed to disagree” she nudged me “shut up” Raihan made his way over to me, picking him up and placing him on my lap “are we going to see Rylee?” Imani asked, “we are indeed, might be a long wait though” the kids should be silent for a while, we got them candy because honestly it’s boring “do you remember yours?” Robyn asked “erm I was high, if we are being real” Robyn shook her head “of course you was, no sense in that brain of yours” looking up “hi” Kim waved “you sat ahead of us? Who would have thought” I said “hi Saint” the way Imani yelped out to say hi to Saint, even I side eyed her “oh Rylee came to pick up North and they was singing so loud as they left, least our children have made a great bond” little does Kim know Robyn has been trying to break that bond for a while now, Robyn finds North a nasty child, but let me not “I told North that we have to fly out so we can’t do a party so she is not aware, it’s going to be nice to do a joint one at my house” Kim just loves to talk “we appreciate it, I think they will enjoy it more anyways being together” Robyn said, but Robyn did this for personal gain, so our house won’t be a mess.

North has already walked, so I think Rylee will be coming up soon. I did tell the kids that this is boring because Raihan has now fallen asleep but I am waking him up slowly “your sister will be coming out, wake up” nudging him, he opened his eyes “I am sleepy” he whined “I know but you will miss your sister, she will be coming” I huffed out “I can’t believe we have a daughter at this age and she is now a college student, where has time gone and then we have Tianna next. Wow” Robyn said in my ear “I know, I think I will be crying when Imani graduates. I am going to be a mess that day” I just know it, she is my baby and my last daughter so I will be a wreck, I adore her so much “Rylee Fenty-Brown” I gasped and shot up, as I would and placed Raihan on the ground “Rylee!” I shouted clapping as she walked to get her Diploma, Rylee looked at the crowd because I know she heard me holler “Rylee, Rylee, Rylee. Where Melo at” I can hear a bunch of guys just chanting my daughter name and I midway froze clapping “oh brother” Tianna said, looking around “Chris” Robyn said, looking back to see Rylee holding her diploma and she waved it in the air and I smiled so wide “that really my baby” I said smiling, hearing a bunch of wolf whistles and name chanting again and Rylee put a finger up at someone and I peaked over seeing Melo and a bunch of boys “ok, can we calm down” Max said on the mic “they are still dogs I see” looking at Tianna “huh?” Robyn patted my arm to sit down.

Waiting for Rylee to come over and see us “what did you mean by they are still dogs?” I asked Tianna, I didn’t forget. Robyn has gone to get drinks with the boys “why was they barking?” Imani asked, “I told you, dogs” she said “yeah but you said that but you not answering why?” I questioned “the boys are butt hurt on behalf of Melo but then again they always did that with Rylee because she wouldn’t date them and then Melo made a rumour that she wouldn’t put out and it was her fault and he had to leave. But on a regular day at school the boys did that anyways, I am glad I left because it was annoying to see. Rylee also told me one of the boys from the basketball team told her that he would fuck her by force because she is being too stuck up. I think she is happy to leave, I would be, what a toxic school full of rich mommy boys” my mouth just hung open “I think it sucks that Melo was simping over Rylee for years for him to turn around and do that, I ought to slap him but he didn’t want to be the one that was dumped. So really her last few months here was wack, this is why I have been here for Rylee” I swallowed hard “I should beat him” I mumbled “oh there is more, you should see her phone” Tianna is really angry “family” Rylee said smiling “wow, look at you. I am so proud of you” Tianna hugged her “I didn’t even cry” she said “I did” I smiled “has mom filled a cup up, but yay! It’s over now” nodding my head “it is” I mumbled, to find out that her last months here were not good and it was because she left Melo, I really should beat his ass but no, I am above that now, I feel annoyed “dad” looking at Rylee “I am so happy you’re here, I think this made it even more special then it is” I cooed out hugging her “I am always here for you all, I love you Rylee. I do” Rylee held me tightly.

Staring at Melo, I should see her phone Tianna said but no, I can’t. She won’t like that “hey” Robyn said, looking at her “are you ok?” nodding my head “you seem a little dazed, you sure?” nodding my head “talk to me” Rylee is smiling so whatever, I guess those the school friends, I am not sure “you hear that noise when Rylee went on stage? I didn’t like it” I said to her “Oh yeah, I heard it too. It was very degrading but I don’t want to bring it up with her you know but they was hollering, the boys were” it’s annoying me “I can’t do it” I said and walked off “Chris, hey” walking towards Rylee “can I speak to you, hi” I said to her friends “sure, I will be back” Rylee took her hat off and placed it on my head “thanks” moving away “what was that noise about? When you walked the stage, we all heard it. I don’t want to start upsetting you I just want to know” Rylee looked deflated that I bought it up “once I dumped Melo the boys just became unbearable, they started to just push things and said that Melo had a chance, and some girls just you know being bitches. They erm, they tried to tease me out of the cheerleading team but that ain’t me, I did it back but Melo is butt hurt and it was making things shit but I am done now, it’s fine” nodding my head “what is on your phone?” I asked “what!?” she spat “like they saying shit to you?” she shrugged “on twitter they would just say things like I am easy, and stuff. It’s whatever dad, it’s in the past but they are still upset. I graduated and we can move forward, don’t be upset about it, I am ok” she tried to make me feel better but she was dealing with that plus me, I feel bad.

Shaking Kanye’ hand “how are you?” he asked me “I am well thank” stepping back “I am glad to see you back from the mental breakdown a better man, you look well” staring at Kanye confused “I know the look, I mean the pictures were everywhere, I saw them and I looked and I prayed that you would be ok. I know that look, and I know the feeling. I have been through it, I found god Chris” I swallowed hard “medication they will keep you on forever, but God is all you need, but I am happy you are ok. How are you feeling inside you?” he asked “erm shocked” I laughed “everyone said I had cancer, some wished I did but for you to blatantly say that, wow” I mean he is right, he has been through it “I know how it feels, trapped in your own mind and just generally alone when people say they are there for you” nodding my head “yeah, I just feel bewildered. I feel like there is a lot going on you know. It’s early days, I think if I wasn’t on my medication I would be on my shit, but yeah. Maybe you right, I need to go to god” he placed his hand on my shoulder “you need help, ask me” looking around the party, it’s a nice party they threw together “hi Chris” Kourtney said “hi, how are you?” I asked, she came in for a hug “feeling old now but it’s nice to see you” nodding my head, seeing Jbeez, he came. Waving my hand at him and Oakley “who is that?” he pointed “two friends I made, Jbeez has the best connections in the UK. Anything you want he can make it happen, I was just telling Kanye how you the man of the UK” shaking his hand “oh yeah” looking at Oakley “whitey” he dapped me “are you anaemic, you wear the most questionable shit in the heat” he snorted laughing “I like this shit though, this is me” he is dumb.

Picking a chicken wing from the table “did you get those flowers for my daughter” I asked, squinting my eyes seeing she is having fun “no” he said, looking at him as I ate the wing “alright, just she came back home with flowers” he didn’t say anything just swallowed hard, he is looking a little nervous “hey dad” turning around “what is he doing here?” she pointed “oh you didn’t know he came? He came to live out his dream of the American dream, what is it anyways?” she shook her head “I just came over” of course she did “North” waving her over “yes” leaning on Rylee “why aren’t you going to NYU with her, she will be lost without her main” North laughed “yeah, we spoke on it too” she said “it’s nice that you know, buying flowers for my daughter, she seemed really stressed out when you text her. Rushed out too, sending her pictures” North looked at me so confused “Rylee open your hand” I said, I am not stupid. Rylee opened her hand, and I placed the ear wing in her hand “checkmate” I said to her, turning around “dad!?” she spat “North you gave me those flowers, she did!” walking over to Oakley “come” I said “Rylee, stop!” I spat pointing at her, I have heard enough of her now. Walking to front of the house “I just want the truth, why did you lie and say about it wasn’t me?” Oakley opened his mouth and then closed it “you keep saying I am not disrespecting you but it seems like you are now. Just go, until I want to speak to you, and keep away from my daughter Oakley. Seriously” I am going to be nice about “sorry” he apologised, walking back inside the house, I don’t want to know.

[calypsoff2]

One Hundred Twelve

My children and these weekend activities, they have me up at six in the morning to get them ready for these things they like to do, I mean I can’t complain because I was complaining when they wasn’t doing anything, but they have made my Saturday busy, usually Chris and I split it but Chris is feeling very low so I am doing it all plus Junior, I can do it. I am fine, I think anyways but it’s hard. All three girls doing separate things, I just feel like splitting myself into three “I think it’s really unfair mom that you are not staying with me” Rylee said, “I get it, I am sorry but Imani’ first day doing something like this, I need to be there for her” Rylee is in a bad mood, she wants me to stay with her for her ballerina lesson, I get it, she wants me there, but I can’t stay “Rylee!” I shouted at her “she banged the door shut” Tianna climbed from the back “I know she did and sit down. Wait in the car” opening the door and climbed out of the car “I don’t want you there” she kicked Frank “Rylee” closing the SUV door behind “don’t you dare kick Frank, apologise right now!” I spat, walking over to her “sorry” she said “you are so unfair, always Imani. Who cares if Imani is kicking a ball! I had to be without last time, it’s my turn. You are so unfair mom” nodding my head slowly “she is youngest Rylee; I am sorry I can’t be with you. Dad is not good right now; he just needs some alone time. I am trying, next week I will come with you” Rylee has such a face on with me “you keep thinking I don’t need you because I am oldest but maybe I don’t want to be oldest, it’s Junior because he is annoying and then Imani because she is stupid. Only time you pay attention is if I be bad” pointing at Frank “say sorry to him” I ain’t forget “properly too” she looked up at Frank “sorry” nodding my head “Rylee, I am sorry. I am sorry. I do, I know it. Because you are eldest I do expect you to be ok with things, and I appreciate you bringing it up to me, I will make time for you” she nodded her head “ok, I guess I will see you when I finished” Rylee walked off, she didn’t hug me “love you baby” I said but she doesn’t want to know me, she is hurt with me.

Imani playing sport, it’s cute to see her. I feel like she talks more then she kicks a ball, and it makes me laugh, she explains things. The girl doesn’t stop talking and she has gotten in trouble about it in class, she is so well spoken, and I love that for her. Waving at her as she waved at me, I want her to try out other things. I know she loves music, that is her go to, but I want her to try other things, she may like it too. Tianna doesn’t half complain like Rylee, she is just so angry at me, I dropped Tianna off at her music class, she is still doing Piano lessons. She gave me a hug, but Rylee is heavy on my mind, I feel like she is entering a new phase in her life, and I am going to get a very moody teenager but if Chris did come with me, I could have gone there and he could be here, but I couldn’t do that to him, he is really going through a lot, he is really upset about his nephew. Still missing, Tootie finally actually answering him. She said she has been looking but now they have told the police, they said it’s been so long and every hour counts and potentially speaking on death, I for one pray it isn’t but where the hell did he go. Tootie said he and his friends went out, his friends are home, and he isn’t. I just feel sick to think about, but I had to give him space, I can’t drag him to things, I just want to be there for him. Looking over at Junior, he is picking grass and hitting into Rich, he is enjoying life, but he is quiet, and I can deal with that. I just need to make time for my eldest two, just maybe mommy and daughter, I am scared for the teenage phase.

I feel like Giorgio Baldi can fix anything, even my love life. I just love this place with my whole heart, I bought the kids here to eat. I mean mostly eat what I love most so they can deal with it “so girls, how was your day?” Rylee shrugged, Tianna giggled “Rylee said she is not speaking to you” letting out an oh “well that is peaceful for me, thank you Rylee” I thanked her “no I am not!” she spat, I laughed “oh you speak then” she side eyed me “I just want you to pay attention to my things, even Ti agrees” see these two, these two are trouble, Rylee the ring leader “you do?” I said to Tianna “she is right mom; you don’t see my lessons either. Imani or Junior. Junior and Imani, we don’t belong” rubbing my forehead “I really think Junior ruined it all” looking at Junior just licking his fingers “look girls, I get it. But Junior is a baby, Imani needed me there, she is baby too” Rylee looked at me shocked “she is not a baby mom, you think she is. You are so not fair; she won’t be a baby forever then what?” I laughed “then I have more” the horror on Ti and Rylee’ face “I am moving to momo house, no” I am laughing at them “it’s a joke, come on girls. I will promise to do something with you both” answering my phone, Chris is calling me “then we can forgive you” Ti added, she needs to stop hanging with Rylee “hi” I answered “Junior!” I shouted at him, the way he threw that pasta and it landed on Tianna “don’t you dare throw it back, just wipe it off. Sorry, hi” these kids “can you come home, after that” I mean what else does he think I am doing “I will, we are just eating. Everything ok?” I asked “just come home” he put the phone down, oh he is not doing good at all “no throwing like that” I said to him, I don’t think he really did it on purpose. He was so confused it left his hands “say sorry!” Tianna said to him “he doesn’t know what that means, he is a baby” Tianna frowned at him “everyone is a baby to you, even dad” I didn’t want to laugh but that was funny, I giggled to myself because she is right “you girls” shaking my head.

Eventful little day with the kids “girls, hey. Listen to me, I’m going to take Junior upstairs, please. Put your things away, if I see them scattered around here. I won’t be happy” Junior fell asleep in the car, also he needed his nap so it’s about time he fell asleep. Walking up the steps “mom, can I have some ice cream?” Tianna asked “yes but wait for me; I will make it for you. I don’t want mess” I don’t know why I bother putting him in the crib because he gets out of it and does stupid things upstairs but then the girls wake him to just to then find him annoying, these girls don’t let their brother live. Opening the bedroom door “Robyn” looking to my bedroom, Chris has his head poked around “are you crying?” I said shocked “come after” nodding my head, let me put him in the crib. Chris has been very emotional, like he’s been showing his feelings instead of lashing out, and this is all I have ever wanted from him, I wanted him to actually show how he really feels, and he is. I wanted that from him, I adore Chris so much and I would never judge him. Placing the covers over Junior, I did a little run out of the bedroom “mom, you coming down?” I put my hand up “I’ll be ten minutes” going to the bedroom; he’s not left the bedroom since “Chris?” I said, seeing him sat at the vanity table chair “Hey, oh my god” closing the door behind me “why are you crying? Chris” getting down onto my knees, wrapping my arms around him “what happened?” I am so concerned, I’m scared actually “it’s ok, Chris you can cry. I’m here now” he is sobbing; I am scared. I don’t know what has happened, I hope it’s not because of his nephew, I am so scared to hear it “oh my baby, my poppa. I’m here baby, I’m here” I hate to hear him like this and in pain, I am so scared to know what has happened, I am praying so hard it isn’t his nephew, but I think it is.

Chris wiped his tears with his hands, I passed him some tissue “are you ok to talk?” getting down onto my knees, he wiped his face with the tissue “is it Desean? What happened Chris?” he swallowed hard “they erm, they” oh this is not good, my heart has dropped “my auntie called me and uhm, they found his body in the Rappahannock River. Someone found his body Robyn” he sobbed out, my eyes welled up “oh my god” I am in shock, this can’t be happening. Not his nephew, wiping my tears “I am so sorry Chris” what else can I say “they said he was there for a while, someone killed him. He was dumped there, that’s what he police are saying. Fuck, this can’t be happening. This can’t be real” Chris got up from the seat “it can’t be real, this is a joke” he shook his head, this is the worst news to hear, this is so sad “fuck, man. He is just a kid” getting up from the floor “I am so fucking hurt man, why my family!” he shouted “I got to go there” walking around the bed “baby yes, I agree. I want to come with you” Chris shook his head “we can go together; I want to support you. Chris, please” following behind Chris “I don’t know what I am even doing anymore, what do I do?” he turned to me “just step back for one moment Chris, just let’s sit down” I said to him, I am this is shocking. I am in shock too.

I just sat with Chris in silence, it’s better than him crying. Looking over at him “what did they say? Did your auntie say anything else?” I asked “that erm, they think it was a hit and run and his body got dumped in there, but that is it. I can’t say anything else; I can’t believe that has even happened, I mean what the fuck. Who would do that, his friends said he was home, well going home. Someone really did that, that is calculated” placing my hand on the back of his neck “just let’s not think that, I am ever so sorry Chris, this is so shocking. I want to be there for you Chris, so I am coming with you. The kids too, we are going to support you. Nothing else matters, it’s going to be a hard time, but I think you should be there” Chris nodded his head “I felt so off, I knew something was wrong. My mother is going to be distraught, man. I just don’t know what to do really, what do I do?” he asked “you be there for your family, I will be there for you” Chris looked at me “thank you” nodding my head, I mean it sucks I have to drag the kids with us but I have nobody to take care of them “or maybe I can get Jen and Tina to take care of them until I am back” I said to myself “I will do that, I will get Tina actually. Just take Junior with me” getting up, I think it’s best I don’t take them all, it won’t be the best place and the girls are very aware of people being not good. I don’t want that for them, I will do that instead.

The girls are going to be a pain, I just know it “Tina, thank you so much. I wouldn’t have asked like this, but after that news” Tina shook her head “no, please go. It’s important” smiling at her “girls, in the living room, come” I said “you didn’t come down and get ice cream” Tianna said, she is right “I know but I need to speak to you all “I am so sorry about your nephew Chris” Tina said behind me, turning my head and Chris has come down with shades on, he is not good “appreciate it” he said, walking into the living room “girls, I have something I need from you all. Me and dad really need to go to VA, something very bad has happened and we need to go now but auntie Tina will be here, please girls. I don’t want to hear it, I know I constantly not there like you want me to be, I am sorry for that but this is so important” I said, they are quiet “you try mom” Rylee said, she is actually understanding “thank you” I said “I heard dad crying” letting out an oh “yeah, once we know what has happened then we can explain but we need to go kids” the girls are understanding, my mother is calling me now “one moment” I said answering the call “hi” I said “hi Robbie, Chris isn’t answering his calls” she said “no, we have something on mom. What is it?” she always rings at the wrong time “his dad is trying to call him” I wonder why “how sad Robbie, who would do that” they know “mom, I am begging you, please do not go to VA you stay in Barbados. I mean it” she is stupid enough to do it ”he is devastated, he needs someone with him?” I groaned out “mom, I don’t even think he is invited to be there, I would recommend to stay away, and you mom. If I see you there I am going to be mad” I feel so harsh “you going?” she said “well yes, technically that is my family mom. Not yours, and to be honest not even his real grandchild, I really think he needs to mourn in peace, there” my mom scoffed “you sound like Chris” she spat “no, I am saving my husband from when he has to see his dad there that spoke shit about his sister when her son was missing, just drop it, I need to go now” I don’t have the time to be going back and forth, if they go there then they do and will cause some nasty issues “since when have you been like this? Am I speaking to Chris?” my mother is shocked “no mom, I am standing by my husband, just mind yours and I will mine. Please I need to go now, love you. Bye” disconnecting the call.

Junior is sat in Chris’ lap on the jet, he is calm for once but then again he is eating “I will appreciate the peace from him” I said “yeah” Chris mumbled “how would you feel if your dad was there?” I asked him, it’s just a question and I am intrigued to know the answer “right now I can’t think but ain’t nobody telling him anything, I don’t know” nodding my head “you don’t need to come you know, like to see my family” shaking my head “you know I am going to be there Chris, I don’t care” I said, I am going to be there for him “I don’t know how she is feeling right now, if I lost my child. I would lose my mind, imagine it. All those years and this, I just can’t digest that he isn’t here I mean. He doesn’t bother anyone? I don’t understand why, I am just so fucking angry, confused. I don’t know what to say” nodding my head “I understand, we will see how it goes” Chris looked outside the window, my poor baby. He has been feeling so off about things, he felt something was wrong and he was right, this is terrible, I feel so sorry for him.

[calypsoff]

Eighty Eight.

It’s been a weird feeling to be having Robyn’ family in the home but not Robyn, she is being extremely stubborn. To say the least, she picked up Rylee from the home and then didn’t stay either. To say that she wanted her family here she isn’t coming here, and on top of that. The very night she left early she went to the club even though she said she is thinking, how can you think when you’re in the club, it makes no sense. She left Rylee behind and went to the club with Mel, she has been very off now. I think she is angry with me; I feel she is anyways. I think she is angry with me that I told Monica, because Monica did mention that she wasn’t happy at all that she knew and was saying that she will speak to me, but she hasn’t really, besides sending me a picture of Rylee with a wig on, that is it but today is the day, taking Robyn to the Getty museum. I have spent so much money on making it up to Robyn that I will not be doing this again, never again. Shit is expensive as hell, but I am going to push through, and I am going to continue to try and get Robyn to break down but it’s so hard, she is being very hard. I didn’t think Rihanna would be so different to Robyn, I know Monica says she is just her daughter, but Rihanna is very much out there, I have fucked up big time. Even though I exposed Drake for what he is, niggas were clowning me about it and TJ said why didn’t I listen to Robyn when she said, I feel like a dickhead, but I will get my wife back, I will, and I know I will. I think I just need to keep getting at Robyn, see if I didn’t have my leg in this cast I would be at the club harassing her, she knows I would be too.

Majesty is watching TV but goes out of her way to sit on my cast, I don’t know why but she does “you annoying uncle again, since she can walk she be doing the most” Noella sat down, I laughed shaking my head “she reminds me of what my daughter will be like, she keeps touching it. I think she is intrigued by it, you know” Majesty does not care and continued to remain on my cast “big day today for you” I breathed out, rolling my eyes as I did “I don’t know, Robyn is being hard headed. Please tell me it’s not just me?” looking over at Noella “she is” she admitted “I think she is acting out; Robyn went through that when things were going wrong with her father. She was so upset, and she went very within herself, very dark, angry. Auntie said that she spoke to her on why she isn’t coming, she is busy but then Monica said she is angry that her mother told her off about things, that her mother is taking sides, but my cousin needs to relax. I hope you can get that out of her” I knew it, I knew she would be upset about her mother “I hope” I mumbled “I have hurt her a lot Noella, she trusted me so much, she said that Rylee is lucky to have me as a father and I let her down with that, I haven’t been around for her, I know that has hurt her. I think she is seeing me as a bad person, it’s me” I am to blame in this.

If I could, I would be pacing around in this room because I am nervous about today, this cast is annoying my life too because I can’t wear what I want, I have to wear something nice because I know my wife will look bomb as hell “Christopher, are you in there” hearing the light knocks on the door, Monica is knocking on the bedroom door “erm yeah, come in!” I spat, I mean I am just sat on the bed waiting for the moment I see Robyn, I am trying to gather myself right now “sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt but you weren’t coming down, are you ok?” she asked “also have you ate? My daughter is stubborn, but she said can I make sure you are fed” I chuckled “erm yeah I have thank you” smiling at my mother in law being so sweet “I wanted to ask when was the last time this home was cleaned?” that reminds me “erm, like about three months? I never changed the sheets since, I don’t want you to do it for me but yeah, since Robyn left” Monica nodded her head “I can tell, you need to get a cleaner to come but I didn’t come for that reason, I wanted to say my daughter is being hard right now but don’t stop” she said “I am not going too, I made the mistake. This is my fault, if I didn’t see a glimmer of hope I would stop but I know she wants me, she is being hard headed but I know she just wants me to be sorry, I will get her back” I am optimistic with her hard ass “good, I just want some peace. I prayed for you both, but if you need help then let me know” Monica turned away, I need to get a cleaner to come actually.

Mel is shouting me to come out, I am here trying to find something to wear for this thing. I don’t know what it is, Chris hasn’t really said what it is, but it’s something. I am guessing a meal, I am sure it will be a meal or something, but I don’t know what to wear “I am here” lifting my sweatpants up a little as I made my way out “take your time, you have people here for you” I haven’t asked for anyone to come so who the hell is this “who?” I said as I got to the living room “oh hi?” why is Mel and Mylah here “we have been summoned to come” furrowing my eyebrows “by who?” I know it’s not me “your husband” letting out an oh “no way? Did he really? How is this man here just booking my people” staring at Mel, she just shrugged “when there is a way Robyn” she has a point “How?” I asked either of them “well what happened was he messaged me on Instagram, I think he also messaged Mel on there too, he said that Robyn has somewhere to go, and I need you to do her makeup” this saves me from doing it actually “he said it’s a little date, there will be things there. He really didn’t give much away but here we are” my smile grew “I am glad actually; I didn’t know what to wear so this saves me so much time, if you want to come to my bedroom I guess” I am just annoyed actually, more at my mom then anything, she just wants me to make an effort and that I shouldn’t have left the home, it is wrong, so I haven’t been home. She said the home is a mess, that isn’t my problem because I am not there either.

Mel got me in a little cute Dior denim dress, I mean I haven no idea if it will fit the event but to me this looks nice as hell. Imagine if he is matching again, I am going to fall out laughing because he does this a lot “am I date ready?” I twirled in the living room “you are, you look hard faced though. Good luck to him” I gasped “don’t be rude, do I?” Mylah nodded her head “you seem like you are in deep thought most of the time, like you want to smile and be happy and speak to people but your mind is elsewhere, your mind is whatever is upsetting you right now. So it’s making you look hard faced” she has a point “I have a lot on my mind that is all, I don’t know what it will bring today. I don’t know what will be said, I don’t know what will happen so I am just having a hard time concentrating you see, but Rylee” I pointed at Mel “are you ok with her, or shall I say to my mom you will drop her off with her?” Mel might have other things going on “I think Ry Ry knows me more then auntie, she may get more upset being with her so I will keep her, I will love spending time with her” that is good, so I don’t need worry about Rylee “take a breather, enjoy yourself and just speak on everything” Mel said, nodding my head taking in a deep breath.

Chris called me an SUV too, he is making sure I really come to this. I love that he is doing the most too, he is making sure I am dressed too with inviting my stylist. I do wonder what the fuck he got going on at a damn museum, like I am wondering what he got going on right now. The driver opened the door for me, I smiled lightly at him as I got out of the SUV. Chris and his damn leg, trying to not smile too much “wearing a shirt now” I pointed out, Chris smiled putting his head down “well I had to look good, you look beautiful” he looked up at me “you really do, I am just glad you came actually” he laughed “I was doubting that you was because there has been a lot going on with us so I was just doubting it so I am glad you’re here” leaning in and wrapping my arm around his neck “well I wouldn’t not come, I like surprises and you know that. I am sad for you though, your leg” I stood back from him “yeah, it’s been a real pain for me but we good. We can still do what we need to do can’t we?” nodding my head agreeing “of course” I breathed out “shall we go in?” he said “yeah, I will go in first. Hold the door for you” stepping ahead of him so I can hold the door open for him, I have to take care of him now “thanks” pushing the door open and holding it open for him “don’t be, if you weren’t like this then I would have made you done it all” which is true.

The double doors opened on their own actually, Chris and I just stood here, and they just opened “oh my god” placing my hands over my mouth, hearing the violin started playing Diamonds just like on our wedding day. The room is filled with flowers upon flowers “happy anniversary, I know it’s late, but I had to do it” I am emotional, I can’t even. The room is beautifully filled with flowers and roses “shall we go in” this looks just beautiful and the song, walking inside slowly. It’s like we are entering an enchanted place, it’s just beautiful “two doves, oh my god” I pointed staring at the two doves just on a branch “they so beautiful” turning myself around looking around every inch of the room, how did he even do this “the erm, the number of red roses here in this room is the same amount we have been married, every rose represents every day we have been married” Chris said, and I am even more of a wreck. I am trying not to cry but I think I will be failing at this soon, slowly walking further in. It’s just the music and the whole set up “butterflies!?” I spat, he is has really gone out of way “I wanted it to be authentic, you know” one just flew by me “this is so fairytale Chris, oh my god” looking up at the ceiling, it’s just pure beauty “I think you need to be my creative director” Chris laughed out, I wasn’t even joking “oh wow, Dennis is here” I laughed, of course he is here “so we can have the memories” he is right, we do need it.

The violinist did amazing “just bought me flashbacks to the best day” smiling at her as she shyed away “thank you” I said to the waiter “now wait a minute” I pointed, Chris laughed “my life wouldn’t be worth living if I didn’t” Chris laughed, this is so sad of me, but I know my waiters “Giorgio Baldi, I swear I could cry right now, wow. Am I predictable or something, like you are just hitting it every time, I am over the moon” the waiter laughed and finished pouring the wine “thank you” I smiled saying “my pleasure” he walked off “so have I done good?” pressing my lips into a hard thin line and then nodding my head “I am over the moon” I have to admit, it’s just so beautiful “good, I am happy you said that because not going to lie but when I was thinking on what to do, I kind of got stuck thinking on what to do so yeah, I am happy you are feeling that way. I know we have a lot to speak on and I want to be the one to start first, but we shall eat first and then I can speak on things, but I didn’t think you would come. Just because you have been off with me, and you have been going out more too” I chuckled “yeah, I uhm. I just didn’t want my mother to know in a way, not in a bad way but she clouds my mind, parents” I laughed “yeah, my dad is the same to be honest so I understand but I wanted to be truthful to her, because she would have come to the home and then be like where is my daughter” I get where he is coming from.

This whole setting is beautiful, with the violin and the whole things. It’s beautiful “look at that” turning my phone to Chris, a butterfly flew onto my plate. It was so random, it’s just there at the side “that is dope” bringing my phone back, I am going to post it on my story. It’s so pretty and it’s not moving “how is your album coming along? I mean since I haven’t been around you have been working hard on it?” locking my phone and placing it at the side of me “great, I must say this whole situation gave me so much fuel and inspiration. The music is based off your shit” Chris groaned out “my god” he said “yeah, it’s funny because the producers are like what the fuck happened but the album is kind of done, I just need to do a few more songs but thank you for the inspiration” Chris rolled his eyes “I am not sure if that is a good things but I am glad that you have had that inspiration to sing about what happened, I am kind of scared now to hear it. Just because I know the meaning behind it, my fault” he doesn’t even understand how much inspiration I got from this “I can’t wait for you to hear it, I think you are going to hate it or love it.

I can tell Chris has a lot on his mind, I know my husband. He is preparing in his mind, he shouldn’t feel like that he should just flow with it and say it “thank you” I broke the silence between us “thank you for this, the whole meal and the whole set up. This is what I wanted for my anniversary” Chris grinned “so you coming home now? I am joking” he sat back in his chair “I am finding it really hard right now, like not in a bad way but just to explain how much I fucked up. I am so dumb, imagine doing that to anyone let alone Rihanna but I am sorry, I will forever be sorry for this because I let you down in a big way, something I said I wouldn’t do but I did, I am so sorry Robyn. I was so lost in the glamour of Drake and his lifestyle, I was so lost in the fame, the fun that I put that as a priority and left you behind, when he called I was gone, I did think he was a friend and when you told me that, I saw that as you just breaking that up for me, like a threat. I know niggas see you as a lot, meaning sexy and whatever, I know there is a lot of men that would take my place, I know they will and I know I could lose you, there is always someone there and that is because they find you sexy. I know it, I see it constantly and you’re with me so it’s like what the fuck, but you are. And when you mentioned about Drake, it triggered it. I just got uptight, I always know you are better than me no matter what you say, so you saying that I just thought she wants to break something good for me, a friend. I didn’t think he was like that. And it looks so bad because I did choose him over my own wife, I look like a clown, I am a clown. And my mouth, it just runs. When I am in the moment I can never stop, and I don’t ever think either. It’s never ok to disrespect you the way I have, I wouldn’t let a nigga do that to my own daughter but here I was doing it to my wife, missing out on things. I am stupid but then the whole shit with Rocky, I was already like that. But now I think, it was all planned. Everything, he did it all on purpose but then it exposed that you are still messaging him, and I didn’t know, I looked stupid” his voice broke “I am sorry Robyn, I am really sorry. I just miss you so much, I miss you in the home, it doesn’t feel right at all. I just want you to know how much I feel bad about everything, I treated you like shit really badly and you still were there for me in a way, but I don’t deserve you” Chris wiped his eyes.

I don’t like him crying “don’t cry” shifting in the seat “I tested you and I pushed you, taunting you about not being Rihanna, I don’t like it. I bought that out of you, you didn’t want too but you did it because I pushed you to it” nodding my head “I honestly can admit that I don’t treat you any less, what you are feeling and thinking is your own insecurity and you need to let it go, I married you Chris and you need to remember that. I didn’t want anyone else because I love you, you’re my first love but I cannot take the attitude and I won’t stay at a place where I am being treated like shit. I will take fault in the way I said it to you and the way it came out, I didn’t see Drake as a threat, but he was entering my family, he started to cause issues in my home. I kept it away because it meant nothing to me Chris, it didn’t but then he was entering my home and causing those issues, so I had to say it but not in the right manner. I was angry with you because Rakim is just harmless and you started that mess, it was not needed. Yes I have his number still because it’s nothing sexual, it’s just a friend. I have a lot of male industry friends and my mother doesn’t agree but it’s there, it happens, and I don’t know where we go from here if you can’t accept that” I want it to be out in the open “you have your female assistants, I don’t care. You don’t hear me piping up unless it’s Seiko but that is life, females will be around, and males will be too but that is down to you” he can’t always be like this either “but you didn’t say anything about texting him Robyn, it’s stupid for me to not know this. He mentioned it to me and laughed, made me look like a joke” Chris said “you was both making jibes at each other, we could go back and forth on this forever. The industry I am in there will be men and you, you can’t be like this. I am married to you, I love you. How much else you want me to do Chris? If we are being real then let’s be real on this, can you take it? I can’t just stop talking to every man, my mother expects me to just what, text you straight away that a man is there? Then you just don’t trust me, like this can’t go on right?” I can’t continue this when he feels that I am above him and that every man is out to fuck me.

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

38. Part 2

My mom gasped “Robbie, why are you crying?” I sniffled wiping the tear that left, I am so stupid, but I feel highly emotional about that, he really called me mom like oh my god “what happened? Was it Chris?” My mom rubbed my back “not that, just” Mel walked over all concerned that I am being this way, I am so emotional about this “Aeko didn’t want to go with Chris, I have told Chris off about his behaviour but I have told Chris and Aeko didn’t understand that he was the one going, he was hiding behind my legs. He called me moqrm!” I spat, Mel gasped “no way!?” she spat “yeah, he called me Bobyn mom, like I am just feeling all sorts of things right now, he called me mom. What did I do to deserve such a title” placing my hand over my chest “oh god” noticing Dennis is recording, of course he is “that is because you have took the place of his mother, you have showered him with love and care, this is all he wants. All he wanted was someone that believed in him and you did, he feels it. Awww my baby, you are such a good woman” my mom hugged me, I just don’t know what I deserved to have such a title, mom “that is beautiful” Mel rubbed my back “I just don’t think I deserved it, like I was just doing what I thought was right. You know, god. It’s really hit my heart. I don’t want to ever take someone’s child away, that is not the case but I am pretty shocked about it. Chris was like you what? He really wanted to stay with me” I breathed out moving back from my mom “that has to be the highlight of my life at this moment, like people don’t know the full story. I don’t know the full story but to have a child call you mom, it’s just a highlight” god, I am so much in shock that he did, bless his heart.

I am not even sure how to react to it “what would you do mom? Like should I allow him to call me that? Should I tell him no, please help me mom?” I asked, I am not sure of it at all “do you feel uncomfortable with it? I mean if he sees you as Bobyn mom then who are you to correct him, you got to be a good person to get such a title Robyn. You are so good, a little too good and I think you should let him. If his mother wants to battle you then so be it, but I don’t think she has much of a case. She has done a number on that child; he shouldn’t feel that way. Not even with Chris, where is Jah?” my mom asked “he has gone with them, Aeko wouldn’t go without him. I have spoken to Chris about being more kind to him, he needs it. I am so overjoyed, like it’s weird. I am used to him looking at me with those big brown eyes, he’s there more then he is Chris at times. He is so loving, and I hate them two idiots, she uses him as a pawn, and he thinks of him as a waste of time because that’s her son. It’s not that, I don’t even care for that. They both need to grow up, I am not even playing anymore. I want them both to fucking grow up, but I don’t see it, but anyways. I need to prepare for my meetings” I breathed out “I hope Chris listens to you, Jah will tell us anyways” Mel is right, Jah will tell us.

I can’t believe this little nigga really called Robyn mom, is he feeling ok. I am unsure on even how to feel about that because he shouldn’t say that, who the hell even put that idea in his mind in the first place “infamous Chris Brown home, I seen this shit in picture. Seeing it in person, shit is crazy” Shem said as I unlocked the door “welcome, come in. Make yourself comfortable, don’t ask for anything. You do what you need to do” walking into my home “shit is wild Chris, I love your home!” this is why I don’t want to sell it, this home is like a masterpiece, it doesn’t deserve anyone to have it besides me, I get to have my own shit here and decorate the outside when I want, I don’t think I will be ever selling it, I will keep it whether Robyn likes it or not “you can use the studio, whatever you want. Make yourself home” Stephan dapped me “thank you, it’s like staying at an entertainment park bro, amazing” they are looking around in shock, my home is a masterpiece “you want to go and play?” I asked Aeko, he is holding onto Jah’ hand firmly “yes I do daddy” Jah said on his behalf “nigga, shut up!” I laughed “come, you know this home now. Don’t be sad” he knows this home so he don’t need the acting this way at all, I picked him up whether he likes it or not, he didn’t react badly at all, he let me pick him up.

Watching him throw the basketball “you got it, go on. Here” holding the ball out as he threw it at the hoop “oh wow, you nearly had it there” picking the ball “Look” throwing it and it fell into the hoop “now Aeko does it” grabbing another ball for him “I do it” he said as he took it from me, grabbing him up and aiming up at the hoop so he can easily put it in “there we go! Yay! Aeko did it” putting him down on the floor “I did it!” he yelped out, I chuckled nodding my head “you did” he clapped his hands “I play car, I go here” he ran to the Mario Kart machine “yeah we can play on that, sit on the seat. You want to play with him” I asked Jah “no, you can. He wants his dad too” Aeko sat back on the seat “your little legs won’t reach, so how about you sit on my lap and we play with Jah?” I just realised his legs won’t reach the pedals; he nodded his head. Picking him up from the seat, sitting down and placing him on my lap “you hold the steering wheel, and I will do the pedals ok?” Aeko nodded his head already grabbing the steering wheel ready to play “you better let me win Chris” Jah said, he probably will win because Aeko is steering. Feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, grabbing my phone from my pocket and seeing that my mom facetiming me “one minute” I said to him, answering the facetime call. Aeko looked at my phone, his face just got in the way “I want my son back Chris!” Ammikka snatched the phone from my mom “what son?” I said laughing, is she crazy “you blocked my number, you blocked me on Instagram. You stole my son and I want him back!” she barked, it made me laugh “right” she is really crying wolf right now “Aeko you want to speak to momma?” I asked, he turned away from the steering wheel “mommy” he looked at the phone “no” he legit refused, I gasped “wow, you don’t want her?” putting the camera down “Bobyn momma, she shouts. Mean” he pointed at my phone “does she? What she say?” I asked “daddy not want me, she cry and she make me cry. She hit me” my eyes widened, Ammikka is screaming on this phone “hit you? Really, why baby” this is some shit “she not want me, she want erm” he turned in my lap “let’s play!” he totally just ignored that “you hit my son you dumb bitch” bringing the phone up “he acts like you, a whole fool” disconnecting the facetime “wow, she is a bad mother” Jah said, I didn’t know she like hits him.

Let me try something “we can play, lets try something” tapping on Robyn’ name to connect the facetime “that is fucked up Chris if he is saying that, hey Aeko. Did mommy hurt you?” Jah asked him, waiting for this facetime to connect “Bobyn?” my son said, he is something else “no, not Bobyn. Mommy that was on the facetime, the mean one” Aeko held his arm up “there, she pull cause I not walk fast” it connected finally “what is it? I am in a meeting, I hope it’s nothing bad” Robyn looks all flustered “send nudes” I said laughing “nigga, I will come there and kick you. Don’t be stupid” she is not in the mood “Aeko, look. Who is this” turning the screen so he can see, he turned in my lap “Bobyn, hi!” he clapped smiling “hey baby, are you having fun or is daddy being annoying like this” I was trying to test this out, seeing the drop down notification from my mom “oh god” I said as I read it “the bitch called the police on me, Robyn I got to go” least my mom warned me “huh, Chris what!?” Robyn spat “the bitch is playing up, she has phoned the police on me, she is claiming I kidnapped Aeko when I really didn’t, the bitch gave up the right. I need to call Mark; I will keep in touch” Robyn was going to speak but I disconnected the call “she phoning the police on you!? You have all that proof she didn’t want him” nodding my head, I know damn well she ain’t trying it. There is one thing my mom has done and has warned me about this, now I can prepare myself for the storm that will come and they will search my home because she will say I am on drugs, I know her and that is the only thing she got on me.

I totally forgot that Royalty is coming but she is here with Nia “so what is happening?” Stephan asked “this is why you don’t impregnant bitches, I was so out of it and I didn’t even know. She didn’t want my son and now she does, she is doing it to cause problems because they hate me anyways, the police will come and search my home now, watch. Just relax, you good” Royalty ran inside “hey big girl, look at you” hugging her as I placed my phone against my ear “and you got your hair braided!? I love it, you are so pretty” Mark answered my call “are you coming? Like are you close, I know they going to be here soon so I need you here” I am panicking a little “I am coming son” he said, disconnecting the call “Nia, this is Stephan. A friend, uhm did you see any police out there!?” I asked her, Nia shook her head “no why? Don’t tell me there is trouble coming” I sighed out heavily, tapping on my photos and going to the messages she has sent me “look at this shit, she threw Aeko to me and is now claiming I stole him” Nia took my phone, picking up Royalty “you getting too tall for this baby, I missed you so much. My twin, don’t you think?” turning to Stephan “she is, hi princess” Royalty waved “daddy, are you in trouble?” I chuckled “mhmm I am not sure yet” I chuckled “seriously!? Keep these messages Chris, I cannot believe she is doing this to you, that is mean to him” Nia said “she literally let him travel with a random woman with no clothes or anything, I am just fed up. My lawyer is coming anyways” putting Royalty down, my daughter is getting too big for me now, she is tall as hell.

Robyn is wanting to come here but I told her not too, I can handle it. Mark is here now too, Nia and Jah so kindly taken the kids to another room so Aeko and Royalty don’t need to see this shit “she is fucked bro, not going to lie. What made you think to impregnant her?” Shem asked “she wasn’t like this, she was quiet. She jumped when I said jump, she was a puppet to me but she is heartbroken, she wanted me to play happy families with her and I wasn’t happy” she is now just being drama but she will learn “Chris” Mark said walking over to me “I have spoke to the police, they still want to sweep over the house but they have no rights to remove Aeko. I have shown the messages, there is no foul play so if the gentleman calmly can look around and they can be on their way, I will file a restraining order on Ammikka and we will need to go to court, full custody of him. She is screaming murder out there alone; she has no money to even have a lawyer, but we will get her removed. And I will file the paperwork and get this rolling quickly” nodding my head, the officers walked in “please” Mark gestured “I thought you wasn’t going to go for full custody?” Mark asked “yeah when I called you I uhm didn’t, but I need to do right by my son. He is unhappy with her so; I am going to do it. I have a good home Mark, I am married. I have a family, stability. I can do it” Mark smiled at me “I believe you can son, but the restraining order needs to be done as soon as possible. I don’t want her jumping to do something else and blaming you” Mark is right, she is unhappy with herself, so I do not want her to be doing something to get me in trouble.

The officers found nothing; I mean I knew that anyways “you American police move differently brother” Stephan said pointing at the officer “you think I would let some officer without any papers come in my home, brother I would knock your block off bro” this is why I like him “thank you Chris” the officer said walking off “will you be escorting the lady from the premises please, I will come with you” Mark walked off with them, I am so glad that bitch did not get the chance to see me at all, the best thing I did was have Mark here, she couldn’t even get to me at all, not only has she lost her son but she ain’t about to get no money from me, this is a good day “welcome to my life” I sighed out walking off, let me get them to come out now. Nia is good peoples, she stayed behind which she didn’t need too “I still think you should knock his block off” Stephan said, I laughed at him because I wish I could “y’all can come out now, coast is clear. That was fun wasn’t it?” I chuckled “dad are you being naughty again? Rihanna won’t like it” Royalty said, she is being deadass too “you better relax, I ain’t do anything. This is grown folk business now, thank you Nia for waiting behind. I will drop this girl off before Monday, so Sunday night” Royalty pulled a face “where is Riri? Why isn’t she here?” Nia snorted laughing “she has been counting the days down to see Rihanna, good luck to you. Be good for your dad now, seriously” Nia pointed at Royalty.

Aeko and Royalty really be going at it, like I think Royalty doesn’t have the patience and Aeko continues to touch her stuff “hold the mic while I put this on” Royalty and this karaoke shit “can I be next?” Jah said “me and Chris, it’s Jahleel featuring Chris Brown” I chuckled at him “I don’t mind that, we can be after. Come on you two” my son doesn’t look happy to be there “I am Royalty Brown, and this is? Say it!” she shouted “Aeko” she groaned out “and I am going to sing what’s my name, and Aeko you can be Drake” Jah screamed out laughing, like I don’t know whether to laugh or cry “what?” I said half laughing as Jah screamed out, like these niggas are laughing at me “listen dad, I am Rihanna obviously and he is Drake so let’s go!” I can’t even be angry “can’t you just do something else? My god” pulling a face “oh my god, this has really made me cry. Oh god, Aeko you make a beautiful Drake, you go boo” Jah waved her off, Royalty chooses the worst things on earth. Watching the video play in the back, Aeko looked behind him and he dropped the mic “Bobyn!” he pointed, I just remembered he doesn’t actually know the singer she is supposed to be “Bobyn!” he shouted jumping up and down “it’s Rihanna Aeko” Royalty said “no it Bobyn, dad. It Bobyn” he ran to me “it is” he sat next to me “you’re supposed to be singing with me?” Royalty said but it’s too late, Aeko is entranced by Robyn being on TV “I have never seen such a genuine excitement on someone’s face, he has heart eyes. I can’t believe he doesn’t know Rihanna, like this is so new to him” Jah said “why doesn’t he know Rihanna?” Royalty asked, “because he doesn’t know her like that, and he calls her Bobyn, so let him” Royalty is not pleased.

Skipping the Kiss it Better video for him and then it went to Diamonds, we are going back to the home to eat and then we have to go back but I found a new way to keep him entertained, by playing Rihanna on YouTube and putting headphones on him, he is so intrigued by it, I think he is in disbelieve that she is singing and she is on Youtube, he is so whipped, like me “thank you for earlier” I said to Jah “for coming, breaking that barrier down. Like I know I am not the best person, I fucked up. I want to make it right; I think we are going to be good. It’s kind of pains me to know he felt that way, she was really bad to him” Jah smiled at me “it’s not a problem, I think we can gather why she only wanted him and treated him good for. She wanted you, she didn’t get you so why be nice to the seed. I think she is unstable. She got played at her own game, she only got herself to blame now. Even if the courts don’t give you full custody. Least you will get the right type of custody of him, it needed to happen. He has so much to learn, I enjoy him” that is nice of him “I need to let that guard down, I need to enjoy him” I can see why they love him.

Helping Aeko out of the car, Royalty ran like her life depended on it and I felt for Aeko because she will not let him get peace now. Aeko also ran off, my kids don’t want me anymore “this home is so damn busy” I kind of hate it, not going to lie. She also has Rich and Frank living here, I hate it. like clockwork, of course I hear the cries of Aeko. It was going to happen “I have been counting down the days Rihanna! Oh my god” Royalty is hugging Robyn of course, Aeko is on the floor crying “do you want to cry too?” Robyn said laughing, side eyeing Robyn as I leaned down to pick him up “what is wrong huh?” he pointed at Robyn “I hug Bobyn” he is out of breath “you can hug her Aeko, calm down. You got to share now” putting him down “what is wrong with you, there is enough hugs to go around. Come here” Robyn hugged Aeko “it’s ok, calm down” she rubbed his back “did you have a good time with daddy huh” I really prefer London right now, this home is just getting on top of me, it’s like everyone is here and watching “I see you dance” he pointed at Robyn laughing “me?” Robyn laughed “he has found out about the singer Rihanna” Jah said “oh that old thang, I joke. You like it?” he nodded his head.

Sneaking off to the kitchen, Mel is showing Royalty Fenty so I can sneak off for a little while. Seeing Robyn with her mom cooking, running around the counter “what I say about you coming in this kitchen” Monica caught me before I even got to Robyn “I know but, please. Just two minutes, it’s just time. Robyn is always busy, please” Monica shook her head “go on then” grabbing Robyn’ hand, the dining room will be a good place to hide right now. I am running hoping no child clocks Robyn, now Majesty is here, this is hell for me. Closing the door and turning to Robyn “I miss you so much, and I just can’t wait to have sex with you. I am sick of not having time with you, it’s not fair. It’s just kids, on kids. I miss you so much” Robyn looked taken a back “I thought you was enjoying this Cali freedom” hugging Robyn close, she wrapped her arms around my neck “I miss us” Robyn said, it’s been a while where I can just hold Robyn without anyone interrupting. Her attention is all mine, she is busy and I don’t like it now “I knew I would be busy here Chris, doesn’t stop me thinking about you” Robyn moved back from the hug, pressing a kiss against my lips “I just miss us being alone now, it’s wack. You know, I miss your face. I miss your body the most, I have not had the chance to really just have you to myself like that” Robyn smiled at me lightly staring at my face “I am wanting sex so badly now, I know my pussy is crying. We will make time for each other, but you didn’t get in trouble right? You called Mark” nodding my head “let’s not think of anything or anybody, just us” I miss it, I just miss us “maybe we can think of getting a nanny, so we can have more us time? Don’t you think?” Robyn pulled a face, doesn’t like the idea at all “in London we’re ok, we don’t need it” I guess that is a no.

[polygamyff]

27.

Opening one eye just watching Robyn walk around in her black see through robe, this ain’t no any old robe, she is playing me “are you awake?” Robyn said again “mhmmm yes” I said groggily “you recently been playing, wearing some see through things huh?” Turning onto my back “am I?” She playing and acting so dumb about shit but she knows, I’m really awake now with Reign crying her little ass off, Robyn knows Reign’ timings and it’s so cute “ain’t your butt cheeks cold?” Licking my lips “from what exactly? Isn’t your dick hurting from being so hard” she funny “wow Robyn, rude” Robyn giggled as she picked Reign out of the crib, Robyn is wearing lingerie more recently now with her big ole titties “mommy’ princess! Morning my heart, guess what? You’re a month old today! Yes you are baby” Robyn is such a good mother, this is why I need to give her another baby “give me her, is she photo shoot ready?” Shuffling up on the bed, Robyn and I and our daughter are having a photo shoot, I have a meeting with Access Hollywood and I’m going to set the story straight about everything that went on “she is ok, I will make her a bottle so you can feed her. I want to get ready for the shoot. I am so excited about this” shamefully I had to be awake early, it’s a morning thing. I am planning on using these pictures but blurring out my daughter for the access thing, I want the world to know the woman I am marrying “come to daddy, morning my baby” my eyes floated to Robyn’ boobs “you not putting anything on? Or your walking around just like that?” Lifting my hand up and hooking my finger just on her bra cup “these are for my daughter! Move!” Robyn moved away “can I eat your ass?” Robyn waved me off, I sighed heavily looking down at Reign “your mother won’t let me eat her ass” why am I even telling my daughter this, Reign is making that face when she is about to cry “come on, don’t cry” I hope she doesn’t “be nice” Robyn said before she left the bedroom, she put one of my long Tees on before she went the tease.

I laid Reign on the bed at the side of me, she is happier looking up at the ceiling, I think annoy her too much. Watching Reign just punch herself in the face by mistake “what you like” I chuckled, it’s just a different feeling to be a father. I am so proud of my little family, I am listening to Robyn on things though. I am dying to work though but I can’t, Robyn won’t allow me. I am doing little things here and there but just small things, reaching my hand over. Placing my little finger near her hand, makes me so happy when she grips my little finger “Mi Amor” I grinned “I love you so much, you mean so much to me. I am so glad your mother gave me the chance for this moment” Reign kept her grip on my little finger as I touched her cheek with my hand, Reign is very alert for a baby “I am glad she is quiet and not crying, I was like if I walk in this bedroom and she is crying” Robyn made her way to the bed with the bottle in hand “so this milk comes from your breasts? So you pump?” I asked like she hasn’t already told me this “yes I did, here is the towel and the bottle. And do not annoy her with the bottle, let her drink peacefully” I gasped taking the bottle from her “I never such a thing, me and Reign and happy just chilling” Robyn side eyed me “let me hear Reign crying, don’t annoy her” Robyn scolded again.

This is so good, you get to bond with the baby so much. I mean we do bond anyways, I do wake up at nights for her which gives Robyn time to sleep and rest up. Staring down at Reign drinking her milk, her hand touched my hand with her eyes all wide open. Reign usually falls asleep but she don’t seem it “your mother will blame me if you don’t sleep Reign” she has drank most of this too, moving the bottle back from her mouth. She doesn’t seem to be suckling on it “you done?” holding the bottle up to see how much she has drank, Reign and her damn leg kicking “ok, you drank a lot” placing the bottle on the side table “let me see if I can do what mommy does” slowly lifting her up, placing the towel over my hand and then placing it just under her chin and let her rest on my hand so I could start to rub her back. Her fat ass cheeks, lips poked out as she stared ahead. She doesn’t seem happy at all, I also thinks she is hating me right now for some reason “you mad because it wasn’t mommy’ nipple? I can’t help you with that one” she is so moody for no reason too, I can’t deal with the dramatics.

I am really excited to go back to work, well not so much so work but to be back doing something. Robyn said she wants to come with me to New York so that means Reign is coming too, she wants to support me through this and the interview and I don’t mind it “you quiet?” I said to Malik, it’s been about a week and a half and Malik is just very quiet but he is ok “I am good, when are you going to New York?” he says he is good but I don’t believe so “soon, I mean in a few days. Just need to do my daughter’ photoshoot and then the check up, then we gone for a few days. I want people to know Robyn is not the person they think she is. I don’t want Robyn’ family being harassed either, I have a few things I need to do but Robyn will not let me do much. She likes to make sure I am rested and ok” I need to tell Jay he is coming New York actually, I didn’t say it. Getting my phone out from my pocket “you both ate?” Robyn said, tapping Jay’ name “I had cereal, you ready?” I can’t really see from here, I can’t be bothered to turn my head “I am, just need to dress Reign, I just wanted to see if you ate” pressing my phone to my ear “thank you babe, I have” she is cute “Maurice” Jay picked up quick “nice to know you run to the phone nigga, I just wanted to let you know. You going New York in a few days. I have a interview but you’re there for Robyn so you need to be there” looking away from the TV, Robyn is staring at “and also, bring another bodyguard” she for real not leaving that shit but just for peace I will just do it, Robyn smiled at me “Malik, you ate?” women, rolling my eyes “cool, I will tell Matt. We can get that done for you, text me the date” I don’t need to protecting from shit.

I didn’t think taking pictures of babies was just this deep, like take the picture and move. The need for the shenanigans of changing every outfit, Robyn is loving it. Reign is flat out sleeping, she is not here for the shits and that is my daughter “Maurice, you have to see this” Robyn waved me over, I was ok in the corner just daydreaming “sure” getting up from the chair, walking around the camera and set “just look at this” my smile grew, how do they even do things like this. The photographer has Reign propped up on her hands, a white dress that is flowing out in the back and a crown “this is very long winded but I see why, this has to be my favourite picture. It’s a shame she is asleep but look at her” I love it “that has to be blown up, as soon as you walk in to the house. That is going to be it” my daughter is a queen “well now you know why it takes so long, we have various pictures. Men are always like this, you can’t rush perfection. So you have tattoos?” the photographer looked around my neck tattoos “take your top off” I blinked at her several times “I don’t do things like that on the first date” I laughed at myself “I am joking” Robyn’ displeased face, I can’t help myself on this it’s just me.

The photographer has been fixing Reign on my shoulder for at least five minutes “if she pees on me, hell will break loose” they could least have a diaper on her “just you stare ahead, you have strong bone structure, don’t look too angry. Soften it but just look ahead, I am taking the pictures now” how can I soften the look, taking in a deep breath. Hearing the sound of my daughter gurgle “is she awake?” she would wake up “she is, just stay still!” the photographer shouted at me, hearing and feeling my daughter moving in my arms, to know I am here in this world to protect her made me soften, she makes me weak “perfect, hey baby! You woke up” Reign is not crying “she is loving it, the skin to skin action, she knows her father” I wonder how many pictures she has taken “all done, perfect pictures. Next up, mother, daddy and daughter” this is painful and I cannot wait for it to be over, she is going to take half hour to dress her again.

I am so excited to see the pictures, we had to rush the photographer on this. Maurice wants to use the pictures of him and I for the interview, so she has sent just a few while she gets the rest done. Skipping into the bedroom, the photoshoot was so good, this is my family “Maurice! They came” opening the envelope “she said she sent some mock ones of Reign and us, but the ones of you and I are the finished versions” pulling out the pictures, there is like five here, we did take loads “see! Look at this Maurice, look how beautiful you both look” I cooed out staring down at the picture “let me” Maurice jogged out of the bathroom “woah, this is amazing” he took the picture from me “this is the mock ones yeah? For these to be just mock they are already good, wow. I will always protect my queen, this is dope. Let me see the next one” the picture of Maurice and I “I look horrible, she said it was nice. Like why have my face all on show and you can hide yours in the crook of my neck?” Maurice took the picture from me “because your eyes tell a story Robyn, your eyes are mesmerizing. I think it’s nice Robyn. You look so beautiful, I know shit is like open and everything but I will fix it. I will do this” nodding my head, I know he will.

Reign’ one month check up, then after this we are going to New York which is hopefully not hectic. I will be making sure Maurice doesn’t start doing too much work “sorry about that, just had a call from an emergency. So Reign-Texas Davenport, how has the first month been? She was early, wanted to enter the world much quicker. I heard she came out very healthy” my smile grew “yes, scarred me for life with having another but she has been great. I am always looking for sign if she is ok, at times as a new parent I like to know my baby is ok but she is ok. Just recently, I didn’t but I do know. Her father has Sickle Cell, that is something I didn’t know or would have said and I am scared for her now” the doctor looked at Maurice, less than impressed “I mean that is something you both should have discussed before having a baby but we will take some blood from her and sometimes signs can come later but we can find out from her blood but are you breastfeeding?” nodding my head “I do, I pump also” the doctor smiled “do you give the baby tummy time?” shaking my head “that is fine, after a diaper change or nap, place your baby on her stomach on the blanket for three to five minutes. Try doing this two to three times a day, also skin to skin action” I didn’t even know, now I feel like a bad person.

I cringed as the doctor pricking my babies foot, poking my bottom lip out. Reign felt that and so did I, she let out a wail of a cry in my ear. The doctor squeezed her foot to get the blood out, holding her close “I know baby” the doctor was quick with it “ok, you can get dress now. She is very healthy, just remember tummy time, skin to skin. She has gained weight. I am happy, I will call you about the results” getting up from the chair, I don’t care right now because my daughter is so sad “get me her pacifier Maurice” I know he feels bad about it but if he told me earlier she wouldn’t be having this, she wouldn’t be crying like this “I know, mommy is here and is sorry” holding her close as I rocked her “here” Maurice held me the pacifier out of to me “place it in her mouth for me” this actually hurts, I don’t like my daughter going through any type of pain, I rather take her pain “I am sorry” Maurice said to me “don’t be” he don’t need to be sorry.

We decided to leave Reign with my mother, it was best off that way. I want to keep an eye on Maurice because it’s about a week I would say, he still needs to rest. Also I just don’t want to take her to New York on a jet just yet, she is just still so young. We will back within two days the least, I can relax also. I would worry about my daughter and then Maurice, so we both decided to leave her with my parents. Seeing Jay and another man stood with him “are you ok now? Can you not be moody, I didn’t blame you for it. She was upset and then I got upset” Maurice feels like I blamed him for it when I didn’t, I mean it is his fault so there is no denying that but I didn’t purposely blame him “well I am a bad person” he got out out of the SUV, of course he is moody. Getting out of the SUV sighing out “I was just going to open your door” the driver said to me, I smiled at him “thank you” that was sweet of him “this is Robyn, Robyn this a friend and colleague of mine Lenny, Lenny this is Robyn” another handsome one “nice to meet you” shaking his hand “Lenny is a very old man” I said “I know, my parents fault, Jay. You wasn’t lying” frowning at Jay, he elbowed him “I was just telling him how pretty you are, my bad. Maurice, this is Lenny. He will be protecting you” moody ass he is “Jay, ignore him. He is throwing his toys out, but anyways. Let’s have fun boys” walking around them.

As soon we stepped off the Jet, Wade is stood there with a few other people. It’s freezing in New York, thank god I wore my coat “Wade” Maurice shook his hand “good to see you out here, we have work to do. You got the pictures?” Wade asked “I have, have you found out who fucked me over first?” Wade sighed out “I did, we can discuss in the car. We just need to go through some things. You’re publicist is here” so this is this publicist “how long have you been working for me? Why you slipping now? What is this Lorraine? Come on woman” Maurice didn’t even let her speak “sir, we was aware of the news about you, I am happy to see you here with us but when TMZ contacted us they said about you, fine. We didn’t know about no Robyn, we didn’t at all. Robyn could have been anyone to us, you didn’t tell anyone. Then I read it, we found out you had a child the same time as the public, then Wade told me after, I am sorry but you left us in the corner with things. You know I have always got your back, you know it! I didn’t know, it was only then we tried to back track it but it wasn’t working. Reports were being leaked by several sources, that was it” I mean that is true, I could have been one of this bitches “then it’s time to clean up but Lorraine, you know now. Let do this” Maurice walked off to get into the SUV.

NBC studio, staring at the building from inside the SUV. It’s pretty impressive, Wade and Maurice have been talking work and business and I am sat confused “so who was it? You found out right?” my ears perked up, this is what I want to hear “I do, Maurice. It’s hard, because there is a lot of people. One being your wife, also Tiffany, Kellen and someone called Deja” Wade drifted off “uh yeah, it was those names given. Stories are still being leaked out now, I don’t know how you want to proceed with this. Publicist doesn’t want it to be messy, didn’t you say Lorraine” Wade said to her “public image Maurice, we need to make you the victim in this which you are. We are here to clear both names and also to show the public they got it wrong, so please keep your opinions on them to yourself” Maurice does have a big mouth, that will be hard for him “so they all together in this? How is it working out? Are they getting paid? Tell me more” Maurice seems very stressed “yes, Tiffany had been getting paid money for every story she has put out about Robyn and also Deja but I am aware they are related so it comes under one tree, erm Maurice. There has been another story that you have given your daughter Sickle Cell which was released today” Maurice punched the passenger seat headrest and stormed out, rubbing my face “Maurice, come on. Let’s not do this” Wade chased him out.

I am sat in this chair so angry, Wade kept trying to drag me back but I am so angry. I am going to kill, I can hire killers easily. They talking about my child, making up shit “please don’t say anything you don’t mean” Lorraine said to me “we’re going to start recording in ten” Lorraine walked off, Robyn came into my eye-view “I love you” she mouthed to me, looking down at my lap “three, two and one” someone shouted “Maurice Davenport, heir to the Davenport empire is in the studio with us. Here to set the story straight for us, for all the lies that have been written. Maurice, I am happy to see you here in this seat. How are you feeling now?” looking up at Scott “I am good now, better anyways thanks” I am going to be very blunt with my answers “you probably wasn’t happy to hear what was being said?” nodding my head “you have a daughter? Congratulations on that, it’s a good feeling to be a dad. In your case it’s been years” clearing my throat “thank you and yes it is a different feeling” I am making this so boring “so you do have a daughter? To confirm?” nodding my head “yes I do, I have a daughter. That is all the world needs to know, nothing more” Scott chuckled “I understand, the life you have. You want it private, for most part it is. With these rumours coming out opens you up for bad press, you have your lady with you here so is what happened with you and Noami over?” licking my bottom lip “you didn’t need to air that out that she is here but she is not a lady, it’s my fiancé. We engaged now” Scott looked at me in shock “and she is ok with this?” nodding my head.

Scott being shocked is funny “the stories are wrong, I met Robyn at a wedding. I sought her out, I spoke to her on Facebook. It was all me, I was the one that lied to her. I never told her I was married, she didn’t know who I was. As you say I am private. I didn’t want Naomi, Robyn didn’t ruin any marriage. It was ruined from the moment Naomi lied to me. The marriage was for convenience for my dad, I am not going over the detail but they are right, she is infertile and then she set out to lie about me. I didn’t do anything but find another woman so I can be happy, what marriage is when she allowed me to cheat. I have finally found a woman that I love and have a child with and everyone is angry about it. Every lie that has been said and every person that has spoken they can expect hell. I don’t blame them, you know when your own cousin talking. Every word spoke about Robyn is lies, it was me. She innocent in this, I was the one that lied to her and I am sorry about that but I wanted my selfish chance to be happy. She is supporting me in this” I can say much more “there has been a lot of headlines saying she was in it for the money, they are all lies” Scott said “she don’t need me, my girl is a surgeon. She good, she don’t need me. I am sure y’all knew that but didn’t want to say it, every blog site is all lies and I want everybody invested in this story and my life, that it’s all untrue. What you all need to know, is that everything written is not always right, and it’s not. I appreciate the people that are here for me, that think I am cool guy because I am but when it comes to the woman I love, then you going to see another man. She don’t need my money or me so let’s not do that” I could punch this nigga in the face right now.

Hugging Robyn “I jut want to go home” I said “same, thank you. You mean so much to me Maurice, thank you” I shushed her “don’t say thank you, you good Robyn and I got you. I am just angry about shit, I could do with a hug from my daughter but I got you” pressing a kiss to Robyn’ cheek “and we got love Maurice” I grinned at her “we do, fuck everyone else. It’s me, this was all my fault and I want the finger pointed at me. I don’t want nobody pointing at you because it was never you, I liked what I saw” Robyn snorted “lies, you was hating life. We barely spoke, I don’t know. I am glad you made the move Maurice, I am glad you did message me. I don’t ever regret it, it’s been hard but I found love” Wade cleared his throat “this is all cute but we have business to attend, the interview was on edge. I though you was going to attack him” I chuckled “I was close” placing my arm around Robyn as we made our way out of this place.

I’ve not seen my hotel in a while, least I know it is running right. The hotel staff all look so pleased “so glad to see you back Maurice” my receptionist said “glad to be back, did you set out the suite for me?” she smiled “I did of course, hi Miss Robyn” they know now I guess “hi” Robyn said back “son” hearing my dad’ voice, now he is out of hospital ain’t no stopping him “dad” turning to my dad “why ain’t you in Texas?” why is he here “I wanted to see New York was ok and your mother is just driving me crazy about your daughter. I am ok” frowning at him “dad, you had a heart-attack. You can’t be here, are you crazy? Why you trying to kill yourself?” he is a stubborn old man “so what Maurice, I died making the hotels better. I just want to know are you ok?” nodding my head “I am but I want you to go back home and rest, you going to kill yourself. Why don’t you care about yourself?” I am so angry at him “nice to see you do care son but I am fine, did the interview go ok?” he asked “it did, you can see it tomorrow. I am taking the blame dad, nothing was Robyn’ fault. She is someone that I don’t deserve” which is true “good to hear, Hakim is out for blood. My blood though, I will kill him if he upsets you. I want to see your Dubai hotel before I die” he looks so ill “divorce her Maurice, you got my blessing. Come on T, let’s do some Christmas shopping” watching my dad walk off, he is crazy.

Sitting in the meeting room, Wade is still around “you care about your dad so much don’t you?” Robyn asked “I do, it’s not like him to agree for me to do anything nice. I have to think on what he is doing or planning” Robyn smiled at me “you still a daddy’ boy aren’t you?” I had to laugh “maybe baby, but you mean more” Robyn placed her hand on my lap, placing my hand a top of hers “I love you baby” I said “so, it’s just us” Wade said, he is being a little weasel today “I love you too Robyn, yes it is. What is it now? I am trying to get my dick sucked right now” Robyn snatched her hand away from mine “I have found some things out, I was shocked. When I read it I was like no, but it was right there Maurice. I don’t want to ruin the mood but as your lawyer you need to be safe” nodding my head “I pay you negro so go on” crossing my leg over my left leg “so there is another person selling stories” he drifted off “and? My dad?” I said “Malik” my face dropped “Wade, please. Malik would never, don’t bullshit me” Wade shrugged “take it as you like Malik was talking” not my baby brother, this is bullshit.

[finderskeepersff]

Epilogue. Part 2

“Why?” I asked Cartier “every corner I turn, you!” I pointed at him “she took my chain, my chain was in her room. So I just don’t do anything?” I mean Sienna has clearly got his chain “give me the chain” I held my hand out “why do you have it?” I asked Sienna, she walked over to me “he threw it at me last night mom” taking the chain “get in your room Cartier, Sienna go to your room also. I am bored of you kids” Cartier is pushing me so bad with everything, staring at Cartier as he walked towards me “I want to go downstairs” switching the chain into a different hand “Sienna go to your room now” grabbing Cartier’ top “I said” I am not even going to let him go to his room anymore “you fucking walk before I drag you” Cartier dropped to the floor, dropping his chain and then picking him up by his arm “fight me and you will see” dragging him down the hall, he can fucking sit here and do what he likes in an empty room, pushing the door open “I should have told him to take you with him, you have no care in the world. I know you don’t want to be with me, you want dad but you’re stuck with me. You ain’t a stupid boy Cartier, don’t play stupid because you and I both know what your dad would think to you being like this and this!” I shouted “won’t make him come back!” I slammed the door shut “fucking kids!” I just wonder sometimes why I bothered, you carry them to be not yours.

I breathed out stood in the middle of my walk in closet, it’s always been about my kids. To make sure they are ok, I blame me because I made him go but I couldn’t be here and let what happen actually happen, I let him go and I made him go. I have one letter from him, I never replied and I don’t know where he is, I don’t. I told Cassius to not come back and we will soon be together but day by day, I just think it won’t happen. I know till this day the police want him, it’s been a year now “mommy” hearing Sienna say “mommy, where are you? I came out of my room because I want to see you” pushing my hair back behind my ears “I am in the closet baby” I have already packed a lot of shit so I am ok with this “mommy, I want to wear this dress!” she held up a dress but that dress is something you wear for Christmas “don’t you think that is a little too flashy, what we celebrating?” I chuckled “erm, happiness!” she yelped “you are always happy, if you want to wear it you can” leaning down to her “can we match mommy? I see you wear red before, please” now this girl is dressing me “well, baby. I can wear red just like you, would you like that? I will wear red, don’t worry. You need help with putting it on?” she ran off “not yet mommy” I am so thankful for my daughter.

I smiled at Mia hyping me and Sienna up “ayee my girls, look at you, niece you look so fly! When you seeing auntie!?” Sienna keeps on twirling “soon auntie! I dress mommy too” Sienna wrapped her arms around my legs “and you done great” I smiled down at Sienna “how is my little mixed race queen, is she loving my gift?” Mia turned the camera around “she is currently painting, she don’t want me to speak. She goes no speak. But the fur coat is fucking cute as fuck, thank you. She loves it” I had to get my baby the same as my daughter “all ready for Barbados?” nodding my head “I need it, Cartier is really dragging me down. I can see this getting worse, I feel like he blames me for his father, I mean yes I said for him to go but I had no choice. One minute he tells me I shouldn’t make you sad, and then he does mess and plays up. I am truly worried about him” Mia poked her lips out at me “boys are hard, Cassiel is still young but Cartier and Cassius were so close, he misses him. You know with Cassius just leaving like that, we understand and I miss that nigga around and I ain’t living with y’all but you just have a good time ok? Face time me too when you get there, I love you my baby Sienna” Mia blew a kiss “you see that baby? She gave kiss, give it back” Sienna blew a kiss to the screen “ok, bye sis” disconnecting the FaceTime “ready to go now?” I think we are now, I have everything packed “mom” what does that boy want now “yes” turning around “I am sorry” he walked into the bedroom “you upset mom, that is not nice Cartier. I told you!” Sienna is such a madam “I know, shut up Sienna. Mom, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, just things get me upset. I can’t wait to be older and I can do more for you, I just don’t understand mom, I don’t get how dad left us. I am sorry” crouching down to him “one day I will explain to you, come here” Cartier walked into the hug “I love you kids so much, all three of you are a pain but you kept me sane” I couldn’t be here without them, imagine a life with them.

It is so fucking tiring, buckling each child into the plane seats “right, I will be sat here. Just across the aisle and I will be watching you, Cartier be nice to Cassiel. You said you want to be big boy and sit on your own” Cassiel nodded his head, he said he did so we shall see “I will give you your tablets once we take off” shuffling out to sit down, I sighed out deeply. I am so very tired but I just want to get to Barbados, with the money Cassius has left I could get a jet but no way, I don’t think so. Any excuse to question us, I am trying to keep us all low key. Cassius has left me so much money, I didn’t know he did that for me. He left me money from every angle, I had people come to me and say Cassius told us to come to you once the call is made, and then Mitch. He had all this put away for me, Omen just sold the diamonds so I got money from that which will be put away for the kids, he was waiting for this. It seems like it anyways. Sitting next to the lady “three kids, handful?” she said, I chuckled “uhm, yes. They are all under ten” the woman looked so shocked, it was genuine shock “how old are you dear?” do I look young “I am thirty” I paused “thirty five” I chuckled “you stop counting after thirty” I did stop counting then “you look so good for your age dear, I wouldn’t have thought” that is a good compliment to hear.

Cassiel is of course sleepy “please Sienna and Cartier just stay close” picking Cassiel up “mommy” Cassiel whined out, he is so grumpy after falling sleep on the journey here “we hold hands!” Sienna spat, Cartier is the one the hold her hand. Least I know he would protect his sister “follow me ok” I don’t know what to drop, my bag is falling off my shoulder “mom!” Cartier roared, he really shouted at me “I will take it” he reached up, smiling at him “thank you baby” letting my bag fall from my shoulder “Cassiel is a big baby mom, don’t you think?” Sienna said “he is still my baby, but he is getting too big for me” walking through the airport, it’s not easy at all and Cartier is always there for me even if he causes me pain “Sofia!!” seeing a hand waving at me, I breathed out “look who is there, Hope!” I spat “aunt Hope!” Cartier and Sienna both ran hand in hand with my poor bag being dragged, my grandfather stood there with Hope looking on. The smile on his face seeing my kids, they love them so much. Feeling Cassiel lift his head “it’s auntie, she is here. You love her” I pointed, he will soon wake up “my beautiful, beautiful grandchild!” my grandfather opened his arms to me, my heart just broke and that was it for me. I near fell in his arms “oh no, no. Baby stop it” holding on to him as I cried, the last time I came here was with Cassius and now look “come on now” he said.

I sat in the back with with my grandfather and the kids, Cartier sat in front with Hope. My grandfather holding my hand, he knows I am so sad “I want you to have a good time here. A lot of things have happened in a year and I understand that, but baby you need to rest and not stress” it’s easier said than done “it’s hard” I said in a whisper “it’s been hell” looking at the front to check if Cartier is listening but he isn’t, he is busy laughing with Hope “I question my decision, I do. I just couldn’t see him get hurt or rot in that place but then is he ok out there, I don’t know. But he is ok, I feel it in my heart. The last he said to me, he was in Spain, that was it. I don’t know where he is and I don’t know how I would contact him, he can’t come back to America, he can’t. They want him, I have never seen inside a cell but I did, it was horrible. I am struggling to keep up with the kids, Cartier is going football with another parent because I can’t go with him and then also Sienna dance recital, I have to split it up. Cassiel, I feel I am just dragging him along. And then I said to Cassius we will be together, how? I don’t know where he is, I am kidding myself, Cartier still wants to know what has happened, tell me. What do I do?” Grandfather shushed me “just calm down, you have come here finally. We will speak on it, welcome home ok?” calm down, how can I calm down when I am lying to myself about this shit.

I feel sad being here, we got married here and then I am coming here alone with the kids, he should be here “I love it here” my smile grew seeing my second home “I know, and we are happy you are here. And look who it is” my smile grew even more “Leyton, look kids. Uncle” the car stopped. Leyton is a man now, I can’t even call him little because he towers over me “uncle!!” Cartier spat, he ran out of the car, they love him so much and it makes me happy that they like it here “see, the family are happy to see you. I am telling you now, I will do anything to make you smile so no tears ok?” my grandfather pointed at me “ok”I said in a whisper, he is so sweet “Cassiel, you have grown. Look at you!” shuffling out of the car “sis!” Leyton said “little brother” looking up at him as he hugged me “I decided, you all can stay with me but big boss said no, they stay with me” I am so happy to know Leyton is ok, he is happy and not in no gang “well we are here for a week and a few days we can change over” hearing a sharp scream, looking towards the house as Sienna and Cassiel ran inside “what is it!” Sienna shouted and then she screamed, I waved them off “them kids are fucking crazy” I chuckled to myself “how are you though? You dealing with things good yeah? If you want me to come there and help, I can?” bless Leyton, he is so sweet “it’s weird to see you so grown, talking about let me look after you. I am fine, honestly. This is my break away” he is worried about me but I am ok now, I am home.

Reaching up and touching Leyton’ beard “look at you, I can’t help it. I find it weird you acting so grown, you actually have a beard too. Now getting engaged” he is getting annoyed with me “well you got married, then you had Sienna. You ain’t see me in two years and then y’all came every year after that, then a long break. I am a growing boy, anyways. Shall we go in” Leyton placed his arm around me “mom!” Cartier shouted, I stopped abruptly “no, no, no” I moved back, it’s like I have seen a ghost “dad is here!” moving back into Leyton “surprise Sofia, he been here all that time we been trying to make you come” I fell onto my knees “no” I sobbed out “come here, come on” this can’t be true “yo sis” Leyton rubbed my back “bub, hey come on” Cassius gripped my arms, pulling them away from my face and I just latched onto him “oh my god, Cassius!” I cried out, he is here “I fucking missed you Sofia” he stood up with me in his arms “I am so sorry” he said in my ear, moving back “it’s you, it’s really you!” placing my hands at the side of his face “you’re here” my voice ever so high pitched “I been here for months” looking at every detail of his face “you wasn’t coming, always busy” wiping Cassius tears “you’re crying too” he said, it is really him “you’re here, I didn’t know. I really didn’t, oh my god” I laughed a little before hugging him again.

This is so surreal to me, he is here. The kids are so excited, they think he was waiting for them here as a surprise. To see them so happy, to see Sienna and Cartier on his lap but Cassiel, he is clinging to me. He is my baby “dad, Cartier is mean. He is naughty at home!” Sienna pointed at him “because I wanted you dad, that was it. I am getting better and better at football” they have so much to tell him, Cassius looked over at me “you have been here for months?” I said “you was calling here” Cassius put Sienna down “go and play with your cousins” Cartier shook his head “I want to stay here” he ain’t going to leave him “I am not going anywhere, listen to me on this. Just go, I promise you little dude. I am here, go and show your cousins your new football skills” Cartier kissed his cheek before moving “I will be back” he loves Cassius so damn much “Kyle, Amira and I didn’t know where to go, so I built the courage up and came here. I didn’t expect Marcel to be accepting of what happened but they didn’t turn me away, so I built a new life here with things. I live next to Kyle and Amira, and I will come here, go to work with Leyton. Ask him, but I said to Leyton, Marcel and Jackie that without making it known I am here, you need to make her come here. But you was so hard headed, you was just so busy constantly. Then you cancelled that time, and you came here because Leyton lied to you, he said that he was getting engaged and he wanted you there, other than that you wasn’t coming but you’re here now” looking at Leyton “so you’re not getting engaged are you?” he shook his head “Cassius, it’s been so hard” I am not going to cry, I can’t anymore.

“I didn’t know how we was going to ever meet” shaking my head at him “I would have came for you, I came here because of you. We’re ok here, we can live here. It fucks me up, that night. I didn’t want to leave” his voice broke “but I made the right decision, I get to see you here” I am ok that he is ok “but I am away from you and the kids, I ran like a coward” shaking my head “no, you was going to be dead. I think I remember correctly that by the time the police get to you that they was going to kill you, I don’t care. You took that jet out but you cannot return Cassius. They are waiting for you to come back, you come back they going to take you. Cassius the police turned on you, they wanted you gone too, who was going to save you. You got too deep into it, nobody could save you. Kalia did what she had to do, she pulled through and I was not going to let it go! I had to make you go, yes you can’t see us but you’re alive” Cassius put his head down “you tell me, what was next? You wait and then what?” I questioned him “arrested, locked up” nodding my head “and you told me that is where they are all waiting for you, you done a lot and I had to make you go. I don’t care what you say to me Cassius, I made the right decision. Now I see you, I did. The only person left and he still comes to see me, Omen. He said there is people still asking about you coming back, you left and I got arrested the next day. Jasmine was there but they took me in and they asked me, they wanted to know where you was and made out I knew but I took my ring off, I said you left me. I said the marriage is over, you went. I think deep down they knew I was lying but they couldn’t prove shit” Cassius broke down crying “you got arrested?” he questioned “Cassius, I lived that life with you. I knew everything that was going on, they still watch me. I am not dumb, they been accessing my emails, my phone. They know you are alive, I couldn’t reply to that letter, if they know I lied I am going down with you, I need to be here for my kids. Yes it’s a mess but I am with you” Cassius wiped his face, he started smiling at Cassiel “he grown so much, a whole year and he looks different” Cassiel turned in my lap “he doesn’t understand Cassius, he is my big baby. I am just scared that if things come out then I am gong with you” Cassiel rested his head on my shoulder, he really don’t want to see Cassius right now.

Cartier soon came back in, he didn’t stay out for long “dad, can we go and talk?” Cartier grabbed his hand “you want to do some boss talk?” Cartier nodded his head “boss’s only” I have not seen this boy so happy, he is so happy with his dad “ok, let’s go best friend” Cassius got up from the couch “look” Cassiel pointed ahead of him “you want to go with them?” I asked “Cassius wait, you want to go with daddy? It’s only dad” Cassiel looked at me “it’s dad baby” Cassius slowly walked over to us “dad, let’s leave him. It’s us” Cassius made his way over, I think Cassius is feeling offended by Cassiel but he is just upset. Cassius crouched down in front of us, Cassius reached up and grabbed his hand and faced it palm up “round and round the garden” he made a circle motion with his fingers in Cassiel’ palm “like a teddy bear, one step, two step” he walked his fingers up Cassiel’ arm, his little smile on his face and then his facial expression soon changed, his lower lip poking out “you want to hug him?” Cassiel nodded his head as he cried out, Cassius would always do that to him and I knew he wanted Cassius but he is very timid in doing things. Cassius picked him up and I felt a lump in my throat, to see my kids clinging onto Cassius. My grandma touched my arm, looking over at her as I smiled with tears ready to fall “you ok?” she asked “fine” I strained out, it’s so hard “come on we hanging out together” Sienna ran in eventually “it’s boys only! You can’t come” Cartier said “I don’t want you! I want mom, hi mom” my smile grew at her, she is so bossy “she can come if she wants, princess. You want to come?” Sienna shook her head “I don’t share attention” this is my daughter, she is me all over “anyways mommy, I am hungry” she jumped on my lap.

Cassius and I need to talk but the kids do not want to leave him alone, I find it amusing watching Cartier fight off his sleep because he doesn’t want him to disappear but I also feel bad because he is feeling scared “I’ve noticed, Sienna is protective of you. I thought Cartier would be but Sienna, wow” I smiled a little “she is ready to fight anyone, Cartier as his moments but he is more your son than mine” watching Sienna walk into the living room “dad, I am ready to sleep now” she is such a diva “come on, and mom goodnight” she climbed up on the couch and kissed my cheek “good night, tell daddy all about your dance class ok? He wants to hear it” Cassius slowly put Cartier down on the couch, he is too tired to wake up “I will be back” he picked Sienna up “I will, dad. I am going to be dancing on stage, it’s going to be so big!” I chuckled shaking my head, he better enjoy all of that speaking she about to do “Sienna always been that loud?” Leyton asked “no, it’s weird because when I sat them down and said that Cassius left, and I don’t know when he will be back. Sienna probably felt I needed someone to take of me, I am not sure. She is becoming outspoken a lot. It’s Cartier that worries me, he mentions being called young don, a killer too. This is things he has heard while being with Cassius and his stupid friends, I would like to leave him with Cassius but I don’t want to just drag him out of school, things like that” I can’t just disappear with three kids.

I have a lot to think about, now Cassius is here with me we can think on it together “maybe you should come and move here, for the sake of your kids and also Cassius. He is so miserable without you, he is hurting and when I ask for pictures of the kids and you, it’s not me. It’s him, he needs his wife back home. Well here” Leyton said “I am going now, give you both space. Seeing as you done now, she gone to sleep?” I smiled at Cassius, he is all mine now, the kids are asleep “yeah, she told me all about dance and then I had to tell her a story, I made it up. She then fell asleep so we good” Leyton dapped Cassius “see y’all tomorrow family” my brother is a changed person, look at him being a man “so” I said, I feel all shy now “so” Cassius repeated what I said, just to see Cassius here in front of me “sit with me, finally. I can have you to myself” Cassius shuffled over to me and leaned down to me “I have missed you so much” Cassius face just inches to mine, his nose lightly grazing the side of my face, my hand pressed against the side of his face “so did I” turning my face to him and his lips caught mine and it moved like lightening speed, he leaned in more as the kiss deepened and my hands travelling down his body “don’t mind me” pushing Cassius away as I saw my grandfather “my bad, I wasn’t” Cassius sat down next to me “it’s ok, I am going back to bed” I think we are all a little ashamed now.

Cassius chuckled “I ain’t had sex in so long, I waiting on my wife” Cassius placed his hand on my lap “same, but we got time together now” placing my hand over his “I am sorry Sofia” using my free to rub his back “don’t cry” Cassius closed his eyes and took in a deep breath “I wanted to come back to you so many times, Kyle and Amira kept me sane. You and the kids kept me ok, I had none of you, I struggled Sofia. I was struggling so bad, wanted to say fuck it, there would be no way we could be. Just go back on drugs, then it’s like I had this idea. Made them all come here, I didn’t think Marcel would accept me and let me stay around. I told him everything, this was my only chance. I fucked up, I fucked up so much. I stayed around, I was still doing bad. I don’t care, I mean I did what I did but the consequences. I took the gamble and it failed. When it all happened, you was making me leave. I didn’t want to go” he shook his head “I was ready to die Sofia, but here I am. I can’t go back to America and I get it but my kids, you. I am stuck here now. You came here on my birthday” he laughed “I didn’t time it this way, you chose it. I can’t really do and say anything. I was racketeering the whole of New York, I was beyond me and I hit that wall, you know” I knew he hit that wall “and I took over Cassius, to see you here with me. Cassius, I am happy and I take it. We can be together, I am thinking. I can’t take the kids away quickly, I need to go back to America and I need to slip away slowly, I will come here and we will live here and build a life here, I need to make sure the kids are ok, they are fine to move and be here but they will jump at the chance. I need to do this slowly, make it gradual. I don’t want anyone finding you. We doing this my way and we will be together” Cassius smiled at me “who raised you to be such a boss” I snorted laughing “I learnt from the best, I am the boss’s wife” I retorted “I will make this work and we will be together, I am so glad you used your brain and came here, you listened to me when I said go” I am shocked he did as I said “you are the boss of me, I listen to you. I just want to be with you and the kids, I can’t be without you anymore” I can tell he is struggling “and this will be us, happily ever after in Barbados, I promise.”

[autumnfanfiction]

4.

I don’t know how to write love letters either, but you’re worth the try. I want to tell you that you’ve opened me up to the possibility of us getting acquainted. It seems as if since reading your letter my thoughts have transformed and all I can see is the beauty and the aroma of a fresh start and a new beginning. Do you feel it too? I’d love to be your best friend—– you can be Batman, and I’ll ride with you in the passenger seat, Robin. *wink* Yes I wrote wink. Did I make you laugh yet? I see you put your signature as CB, but I want to give you a nickname too, so I’m just going to call you... Pooh Bear because you and your words are as sweet as honey and he’s my favorite. Maybe just Pooh. I don’t know it’ll probably depend on my mood. I can’t wait to meet you, and it’s kind of silly that we’re writing letters to each other when we’re not that far away isn’t it? Well, this can be our thing, and I don’t mind communicating like this a few more times before meeting you. It’s cute and sweet like you are. I’ll be counting the hours for your reply.

💋❤️ GREEN EYES

The dimples in Chris’ cheeks were deep, and when he realized that the letter was coated with her scent, his senses were deeply aroused. Never underestimate the scent of a woman, and hers was sneaking up on him giving him a tingling feeling he’s never felt before.

Of course, he'd bedded his fair share of women, but none of them gave him that feeling, this feeling. He tried his hand at relationships a few times only to feel empty at the beginning. Longing for something more than just sex, meaningless sex. His heart was huge, and he was very selective about who he allowed around him because of that. Time was essential to him and precious in life so he feared that he would waste it on someone that didn’t deserve it. The very reason he’s been single for this long and allowing his art and clothing line to distract him from his personal life. He couldn’t deny himself of one for long, which is why he jumped at the opportunity at getting to know her.

He was very intuitive, so when he had a gut feeling, he always listened. She had to be getting the same feeling he was because he too felt like something was beginning to move in the right direction. Autumn was his favorite season, cradling him with certainty, that what this was growing into with her wouldn’t leave him with anything to disapprove. It was a new opportunity full of positive possibilities, and he couldn’t wait to jump in as he would do with Autumn leaves.

All his life, Autumn was full of grey, and haziness. He enjoyed it, but it always brought melancholic peace, reminding him of his solitude at times when he’d watch and appreciate the beauty of the season, and know he had no one to share it with. It was full of seclusion and quiet introspection of what lay ahead of his journey of life. Now this season was granting him a new friendship, a spark of romance that could shift into a relationship. She felt like Autumn. She was his definition of what it was––– the lovely part of Autumn, not the beautifully sad part, just beautiful. She carried this sense of calmness, softness in her writing, which he presumed was a reflection of who she was. It was one letter, but he felt more with her one letter than he ever did on one date.

Whatever the feeling was, the emotions that revolved around it, was effective, and her sweet aroma pulled him so much he had a headache. But it wasn't painful, in fact, he welcomed it, and he couldn't grasp why or what was going on with his emotions.

He decided to call the woman that might have an answer for him. It rang two times before the face, and sweet voice of his Mother came through. “Hey, Angel.”

“Hey Mama, how are you?”

“I’m great baby, considering the circumstances. I’m just hoping I get good news sooner than later that you’ve beat that cancer before it gets serious. How are you?”

“I feel really good Mama, really. Don’t worry about me I’m under close examination, and the doctors don’t want me to undergo any surgeries or therapy until it’s something really severe. It’s light right now, so I’m just being given medication. I don’t want you to worry until I tell you anything that could actually cause that, okay? You’re way too pretty to be stressing like this Mama.”

He heard his Mother laughed and it caused him to laugh too. “Okay, Angel. I hear you.”

“So I did have a particular reason for this call today.”

“And what would that be?”

“Well, I saw this woman that I’ve never seen in all my months being here and looked for her. To make a short story shorter I wrote her a letter because I was too shy to introduce myself, and she responded, and I’m feeling these things I’ve never felt before Mama.”

“Hmm, feeling what baby?”

“I don’t know, but it’s weird to me. What she wrote made me happy, but it’s a little deeper than that. Her scent is all over her letter, and ever since I caught the scent, it’s tapped into my senses and making me feel some type of way.”

He saw his Mother laugh, smiling on the other end of the phone. “Well I hope the answer I give you satisfies you, and I’m going to do my best to answer it. So you know I’m a believer in the magic, beauty, and muse of love, so I think her scent just went to the part of your brain that has to do with emotion, memory, motivation and triggered these emotions out of you with an intense and lasting effect. It actually is more scientific than anything.”

Chris nodded his head, but he just didn’t seem to understand why his brain treated her scent as if it was familiar because he’d never met her before. “But why her scent?”

“Could be because you already have an established attraction to her. But the judgment center of your brain that deals with senses just thought her scent was worthy, so now it’s stored in your head.”

“Wow.”

“So... you gonna finally find a wife so I can get my grandbabies?”

Chris laughed to the point he was clutching his stomach and started coughing excessively in the process. “Mama...” he kept laughing, and he heard his Mother scoff on the other end which caused his laughter to continue.

“I’m not playing with you Christopher I want my grandbabies. You’re long overdue.”

“Long overdue? I’m 24.”

“Age has nothing to do with it. Just make sure the woman you’re drawn to is a good one so I can meet her.”

“You’re gonna scare her away with all this baby talk.”

“Not if she wants babies she won’t be.” His Mother said as a matter of factly.

He chuckled. “Bye Mama I’m done with you.”

“Bye Angel I love you.”

“I love you too Mama.”

He hung up the phone and laughed to himself as he started writing his second letter. It was way too early for him to be thinking about marriage or children at this stage. He wanted them but down the line and hopefully, he’d be alive long enough to see all that blossom into fruition. Right now he wanted to build a friendship with her and whatever came after would come naturally.

-

A month went by, and the letters were almost an everyday thing. They became more like love letters if they weren’t seen as that already. The sentiments were stronger, and it became apparent that the attraction was there, so it got more serious, with each note. Why they waited so long to see each other? They didn’t know. Perhaps, they were enveloped in the throes of romance that writing love letters encapsulated. There was just something intimate about being able to charm and touch someone’s soul poetically in the realms of love. Being able to touch someone without physically doing so. When they wrote it was a dialect only written for them, each word resonating heavily. It was clear the feelings were mutual it wouldn’t take long for them to get comfortable once they met.

For always,

you have been my honeyed muse

coating my heart with sweetness

giving it rich taste

I could never scrape you away

for you have been the sweetener

towards my sour life

💋❤️ GREEN EYES

Robyn was nervous, to say the least. This would be the first time they’d see each other face to face and other than the little description Gran Gran Dolly gave her from her vision she couldn’t really picture how he’d look like.

She kept every letter he sent her, and each one he wrote was sweeter than the last. He even started sending her roses along with them because she mentioned how much she loved red ones in one of her notes to him. He was the definition of romantic and she’d be a fool to not be swoon by his gentleness.

She’d grown comfortable talking to him and was ready to meet him and take what they were doing further.

“Okay, Robyn calm down.”

When she was finally able to relax, she heard a knock on her door and became nervous all over again. She couldn’t wait to see the man behind all those heartfelt letters that were trying to sweep her off her feet and take her heart as his. She took a few deep breaths before giving him access to enter. “Come in.”

Chris walked in, and her breath got caught in her throat when she saw him.