Hundred Thirty Four.
Shaking Kylian bottle as I made my way back into the living room, it has taken a while for this baby of mine to get used to the time difference. I think he has suffered a lot really with it, but he is settled now, this has to be the easiest child for me âDamson pisses me offâ Tianna came out of nowhere ârandom but why?â I am confused âbecause I fucking told him I want Nova here; we have been in London for so long. He said yes when my family go home, I want my daughter I donât care about his damn familyâ letting out an oh âbut why didnât you bring her? This is what? Going on two week now, he needs to give it up and bring her now at this point, I get why you are mad but relax. He is just too excited to be a dadâ Ti smiled âyou right, I just miss her. I want her home that is allâ she groaned out walking off, looking at Aziel, this boy hates being a big brother. Everything Kylian does he gets mad at but he does it, I think he adores him but hates him at the same time âKylian stop itâ he moved his gaming controller away from him âitâs not yours, you canât snatchâ my son has the purest British accent, like Oakley isnât even pure British accent, itâs more gang but this boy has proper English book shit, I am like thinking he is going to be a posh boy âmom, he keep hitting it when I try and playâ I laughed âyes and I am here now, I needed to make his milk that is all. Thank you for letting him sit with youâ Aziel just stared at me âalso itâs early, why are you playing that? You know I donât like you playing game all day, this last one and turn it offâ he huffed out moving his arm from around Kylian, in a weird way he will protect him but also canât deal with him, and his brother finds him funny. As soon as Aziel shuffled away from him, he keeled over to the side and his head rested on Aziel arm âmove him mom, pleaseâ I laughed âcome here, I think your brother has had enough of youâ picking him up âthank youâ he huffed out âwhat happened to being the best big brother nephew!â Tianna sat next to Aziel âsometimes, but he is annoyingâ rolling my eyes âbut Kylian loves youâ sitting down on the couch across them.
Rubbing Kylian back, he is half asleep and now he can go down for a nap âI was saying to Damson, I think we need to have another. I donât want the kids to have a big gap. Maybe when Nova is three I willâ raising an eyebrow âdonât you want to enjoy Nova? A bit of peaceâ I am confused on why she would want that âI think itâs more so to get it out of the way tooâ I guess she is right âso another one?â I asked âjust one more, that is it. I am content with a girl; youâre surrounded by boys, and I feel for you and also my god. Least I wonât get the reaction Aziel gave youâ I snorted laughing âhe was mad with me for a few days wasnât he. When he came in with flowers and then he told me he didnât want it. Yeah maybe keep it till she is three. Tell Damson to hurry up and bring herâ I miss Nova, she is the sweetest âI know right but I think you should try for a girlâ I laughed âI think so too, I said it to Oakley. Like I want a girl. I donât know what is in his gene pool, but they have the best fucking hair, like my both sons have bundles, he has perfect hair. That gene hits anyways, but yeah I mean why not. I think one more and if itâs a girl then I will stop. I do want one more, that is itâ Ti sighed out âImagine you have just all boys, and that is it?â I cringed âthen it is what it is, but Oakley has his mini me and I have mineâ I laughed âyou know what Kylian has that perfect baby look though, like you know they love those types of babies for advertisementsâ I chuckled âyeah, I was reluctant in having him on the billboards for Mamas and Papas in the UK. Itâs cuteâ Tianna cackled âI canât wait for them to go up, mom and dad would have seen him thenâ nodding my head âexactly, but itâs exciting. You want me to make you breakfast or?â I asked Oakley as he breezed by âI will have cerealâ Aziel jumped off the couch to run after his dad âyeah I need a daughterâ I laughed, boys are just all their dad, itâs rather lonely.
We are seeing my parents today, well my family which I am nervous about but to know Momo lives with them, she will have some things to say but she is very old now so I will have to accept it. She is fragile so Tianna said but I will have to just accept it. She cannot say anything about my kids when Rajad has some white ass kids his damn self, my uncle kids look fully white without an ounce of melanin, I donât want to hear it but if she does I will keep quiet and take it ânervous?â Oakley asked me, I was going to ask him âerm, I am excited. A little nervous, what about you?â I mean he is coming with me âI am calm, I said it to Aziel, and he goes ok, that was it, but I am calm about it. I am there for you, I am not there for anythingâ he is doing it for me âI know you are Oakley, but we can only see how it goes really, I donât think they will start anything. Maybe Momo but I think other than that no, but I wanted to ask. Has Juke done what I asked of him?â Oakley is confused âand what was that again?â rubbing his chin âoh the bedroom, oh yeah. He said he would do it, yeah I will ask him. He goes oh I can set that up for you while you both go, I donât know if he can do anything, but I will, I guess Sky got him straight though. She will push him on it, crazy what a woman can doâ I smiled âwell yeah, I mean a man in love. They have to be in loveâ I pointed âyeah that, I am shocked they not blaming me for thisâ I have to laugh because they are âI corrected themâ walking off âoh good, Aziel said to me earlier that dad, I am very proud of you. And I said huh, that is random, and he said I am dad, so random too. You think Aziel reaction will be positive with seeing them? He was very upset about not seeing them at the startâ I shrugged âwe will seeâ I am sure Aziel will be ok.
Looking behind me to check Tianna is coming out, Oakley is putting the car seat in, he can deal with that. He has been so quiet âyou good?â Placing my hand on his shoulder âuhm yeah whyâ he moved back from the car seat âjust asking, you seemed a little quiet really. Is it because we are going there?â He laughed ânah, nah. Not really, just you know me. My social battery dies after a while, but Iâm good. Itâs nothing big, I said to you that should I go or if you want me thereâ he closed the car door âwho wants who there?â Ti said, âI just asked like if Lee wanted me to go, just she saying I am quiet, but I am tired; like just doing shit here. Like she knows I been out workingâ I know he does get like that âoh you come, at the end of the day youâre her husband now. Itâs needed for you to be there. Just get on with it, I think maybe my sister is apprehensive with how this will all go, but I am there. Without my child, I am so sick that I donât have her but we are all good now come onâ my sister being positive âwe are good, I just think Lee is worryingâ his ass is blaming me of course, rolling my eyes âsure Oakleyâ walking around the car, I just donât know how this will all pan out, in my heart I think it will be ok but I canât be sure with things, I just donât want to have an argument at all.
Being back at my parents home is a little scary to see, I donât know really a lot has happened in this home, but I come here different now, I come here as someone wife so itâs different but the memories I have here is something. I am shocked they havenât moved again ever; they have remained here since. The amount of times I have stormed out of the home because I didnât like what my mother said or didnât like what happened but itâs all well âletâs do it thenâ Oakley said, getting out of the car. We can all be positive, I am going there being positive, they can see the kids and I guess speak on things. Opening the door âI donât want to be hereâ Aziel said, âwhy not?â I questioned âI want to go homeâ he mumbled âbut we are here to see nana and papa, you know this. I told you that. Why donât you want to be here? They are excited to see youâ he shook his head âI want to go and see Beau and Jordan, I donât want to see themâ I huffed âwell we are here, didnât we speak on this? I told you that adult things happen and that this was never anything to do with you, this wasnât your fault. It was me; it was my fault and I said one day we will heal. One day you may understand but right now you donât. My mom and dad donât hate you; they donât even hate me. Life happened ok, itâs not your fault now get out of the car, come. They want to see youâ he doesnât want to really actually go in, he thinks that they didnât want to see him. He Dragged himself out of the car âthank youâ closing the door making my way around the car, Tianna smiled at me âweird being back rightâ I cringed âyes I am getting flashbacks when dad trashed your roomâ that was eventful to say the least that time, taking the car seat from Oakley âdad I want to go homeâ let him deal with Aziel, my mom came out of the house âyou cameâ she said, nodding my head âwow, Rylee is hereâ Junior said âand you both have braces on, my god. Look at you bothâ Junior came over to me, he hugged me straight away âyou left us!â he spat âI knowâ I mumbled âoh my god, Azielâ my mom said getting emotional âlook at him, helloâ she made her way over to him âgive him a moment mom, he is a little sad about itâ I said before she went to him.
Sitting down on the couch, Momo is very old. Like she is out of the door old, I am shocked she is even here in this house âwhoâs that child?â she is the same, her mouth that is. Aziel ran out of the room âwhat you doing?â Oakley asked but he pushed and pushed Oakley to leave out âAzielâ I shouted at him âI will take him outside for a momentâ Oakley said, nodding my head âthe trouble of the family is here Robbieâ Momo said to my mom âshe is here mom, I told you. Look at herâ my mom pointed âyes troubleâ I laughed âhow? You just donât like people being happyâ rolling my eyes âcan I see him?â Raihan pointed âyeah sure, he is asleep thoughâ lifting the blanket up âhe looks like Oakleyâ my brother said âwhiteâ I laughed âyes, he looks like Reishi too!â smiling at him âwake him upâ shaking my head âI prefer he was asleep thanksâ my mom came over âRaihan is right, he looks like Reishi. And he has his dad in him, his hair is so straightâ my mom sat next to me âI am getting choked up here, my youngest grandchild. Why Rylee?â my mother asked me âmom you know why, I canât explain what you already know, when would it ever stop where you donât play games. I needed to break it off, you know this already. I wouldnât have cut you off for nothing. If I did something so bad you think Ti would be around? She would say I am wrongâ my mom looked away from me and got up, placing the blanket over the seat as my dad walked in âyou cameâ he said âI didâ this is about to be messy or just the best thing that happened to us.