How come someone is so full of life and yet so troubled? So sweet and yet so angry? So trusting and yet so cynic? Ah Chris, if only you'd take company in people, if only you were able to compromise a little, if only friendship offered to you meant a little bit more. It always haunts me, the question whether in that moment you knew you were about to die, you were content with your choices or not. Were you happy. Were you at least in full acceptance. In that moment, I hope you had known forgiveness by then. Ahh Chris, such a complicated soul you are. And sometimes, I can't help but to hate how similar I am to you, happy to acknowledge how much I love you and again, hate to acknowledge how much it scares me.














