My DM experience, so far.
>Flat Earth ritualistic chanting
>*spreads grease on kitchen floor* Rosa come get y'alls juice
>"Why are you nervous, I am only going to beat the shit out of you"
>"ah yes, my one out of two rope"
>Socially Inept Bard
>"My son does gymnastics"
>"Why is this body have it's head torn half off?" "I am not the strongest"
>3 worms
>Potato
>Denim everywhere
>Stalking a woman who did nothing wrong*
>Lorraine and John and their forgetful sister
>Local Frog came for a good time but feels attacked
>Tiefling Druid falls prey to conspiracy theory
>Hook dad found mixing sweater and denim, more at 10
>Local performance gone bad when Bard rolls like garbage.
>Long legs ruin drawing
>talking dog awes and amazes band of idiots
>Large Orc woman catches boy out of midair, shocks and awes.
>not introducing big lesbian orc during main story due to the druids fetish.
>copyrighted hand signals
>Bard's singing career plummets, murder career rises.
>QUAIL
I love my players and the stupid things that they do.