Jun 10
ᶠᵉᵉᵈᵉᵉ/ᶠᵉᵉᵈᵉʳˢ ᴰᴺᴵ
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ᶠᵉᵉᵈᵉᵉ/ᶠᵉᵉᵈᵉʳˢ ᴰᴺᴵ
This has been on my mind all day
Imagine this right......you have a boyfriend, who's like really chunky..like 300-400 pounds who's got stretch marks, meaty thighs, tummy etc. The cherry on top is he's very big eater and oh boy with big eating comes a lot of gas.
Oh yea...did i mention in this situation your a closeted fart fetishist who likes to secretly huff his sweaty fart smelling underwear or whatever seat he sat in last. The absolute thrill it would be almost getting caught huff fart smells out of things...oh boy.
behind any tumblr fæg there's a counsel of 2-5 close friends to discuss the next sjw response to social issues 😌
Prompt Batch! Sweetheart girl defending her chubby crybaby boyfriend who she loves with all her heart
I gotchu fam:
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“You think he’s fat well you’re goddamn right he is and THAT LETS ME LOVE MORE OF HIM”
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“Oh, shit, you’re uh, you’re crying... shit okay hold on I’m gonna grab your biggest sweater and then you’re gonna sit here while I get inside your sweater and we’ll wear the sweater together for maximum soft cuddling.... yes good....”
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“Retweet if you love your soft boyfriend.”
“What? But you’re phone is over there?”
“Shh, I’m mentally making my ‘i love my soft boyfriend’ twitter tag.”
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“You’re crying who hurt you im gonna fucking DESTROY THEM”
“THIS KITTEN IS SO SMALL”
“GODDAMNIT I CAN’T DESTROY A KITTEN”
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“Babe-”
“No.”
“But babe-”
“No!”
“BUT WE’D LOOK SO CUTE IN MATCHING SWEATERS”
“NOT WHEN THEY’RE THE SAME SIZE AND YOURE SWIMMING IN YOURS”
“Guess we’ll just have to wear the same one at the same time.”
“What even goes on in your head.”
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“What’re you doing now?”
“Someone said ‘lol what a junk food freak’ on one of your pics so I’m catfishing them so that way when we exchange phone numbers he’ll send his mom dick pics and grossness.”
“You... terrify me.”
“So do you want me to stop?”
“....carry on.”
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“We should bake cookies.”
“No, then I’ll eat the cookies.”
“What else would you do with them?”
“Hon I’m trying to get skinnier-”
“FUCK THAT IM MAKING SIX BATCHES AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME”
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“You don’t... have to try so hard.”
“Try hard at what?”
“Y’know... saying you like my body.”
“I haven’t done a $5 fix on my car even though I’ve had three years to do it, I will wait another ten minutes on an Uber because I’d have to run to the bus stop, I once copy and pasted an entire two pages of “really”s on a three page school writing assignment, and there’s a sock on my floor that’s been there since I moved in but because I’d have to move my bed I’ve never bothered to get it. Have you ever seen me try hard at anything I don’t like? I don’t have to try hard to say I like your body if I actually like your body, babe.”
*sniffles*
Only 90's kids will remember these candies.
Jelly Belly
Beanie Babies
Baby Bottle Pops (They're more fun than a pillow fight)
Jelly Babies
Beanie Belly
Baby Beans