#chunjoe

[leechxhee]

병헌아... 수고많이했어요. 항상 응원해 알았지? 화이팅.

“byunghunah... thank you for all your hardwork. I’ll always support you ohkae? hwaiting” [@mojoxjojoe]

[noelshipschunjoe]

Chunjoe fic ( you belong with me ) Scene from ch 7 , flawed

I mean  .. The majority of people don’t really end up with their first love due to the rarity of it being mutual . Even though we haven’t really experienced true love - as I suppose - we have a pretty good idea of what it feels like . We all instinctively know that nothing can compare to first love . It’s so magical , overwhelming and powerful on a purely cosmic level .  However , this consequently and axiomatically means that the majority of us experience a love less overwhelming , magical and powerful . And that’s just sad .. So , the way I see it , such thing will always be divided into three -  The first time we love and it’s one-sided , the first time someone loves us , the first time we love and be loved in return .

Chunjixbyungie 

Chunjoe fic 

[noelshipschunjoe]

Chunjoe fanfic ( Let me in ) Final scene ( spoiler )

I'll cry for my love till I run out of tears .

I'll cry till my mind goes numb and eyes bulge out .

I'll cry every remaining day in my life .

I'll cry , no matter how much they tell me I shouldn't because you wouldn't be happy that way .

I'll cry even if it hurts you while you rest above and away from me . Maybe then you'd feel my pain .

You didn't bid me farewell properly .. 

But I guess there's no such thing as proper goodbyes after all .

A goodbye is still a goodbye .

AFF

Chunjixbyungie

[noelshipschunjoe]

Love is pain , ch 39  You will fall for me

“ Enjoyed your night ? "  Chanhee  monotonously inquired  right from his spot  - laying on the bed ,  phone in hands - . " Yea .. ? " said Byunghun almost falling asleep right then and there as he took off his jacket and hung it over the chair . " Cool . "  Chanhee spoke sternly making the other confused .

Byunghun pressed his lips tightly ,  getting thoughtful . Clearly , there was something bugging Chanhee  and it seemed to involve him as well . " What's wrong ? " It was then Byunghun's turn to direct a question at the elder . Chanhee ignored him ,  pretending to be distracted by his phone. Growing irritated ,  the younger puffed  not bothering about his stance being far from  the bed and consequently Chanhee. In fact , he was grateful he kept a distance because it seemed something cool was about to happen. More like heated .

" Chanhee ! You know I  hate silent treatment . If you have something to say ,  just spit it out ! " Snarled Byunghun  staring at the other  , waiting for him to place the goddamn cell phone down so they could have a proper conversation . Which Chanhee did ,  seconds later though . He had adjusted his head on the bed  post  leaning comfortably on it , making sure he was looking straight into Byunghun's dark brown-almost-black orbs .

" I have sources , Byunghun .  "  Chanhee randomly stated whilst Byunghun blinked , before narrowing his eyebrows in realization.

Did Chanhee know how humiliated Byunghun had felt hearing that ? When was he ever gonna stop searching after his own boyfriend ? " And those sources told me exactly how you enjoyed your night  .. " Chanhee stressed the word ' Exactly '  , shutting his eyes briefly at it . Byunghun crossed his arms , both eyebrows shot up , a scoff escaping his lips as he got a gist of what was going on. " Yea ?  Care to enlighten me what pissed you so much about me enjoying my night ? " Mocked Byunghun ,  a lopsided smile etched on his lips .

Aggravated , Chanhee  sat up abruptly  dropping the nonchalant act  .“ Don't you realize you have been spending more time with your friends recently ?  “ Fired  Chanhee ,  fully knowing the rest of the night wouldn't exactly spell enjoyment .

“ THAT is because YOU are busy with your father's company ! I'M allowed to go out and  have fun . I'm  not a prisoner,  you know . “ That wasn't the first time jealousy had  blinded Chanhee . Byunghun should have gotten used to it. Nonetheless ,  he never did .  And something inside him whispered ,  he never would .   By the time Byunghun snapped out of his thoughts , he felt Chanhee’s presence closer , real close . The said had gotten up and stood right in front of the younger , eyes piercing .

“ You are a prisoner , Byunghun . “ He said it calmly like it was a matter of fact nodding once  .

“ My prisoner . Mine ! “ Okay , it would be a lie saying Byunghun didn’t enjoy his lover’s jealousy but not to that extent .

The younger made no remark about that allowing Chanhee to take the lead again , allowing their argument to go from bad to worse .. Though something inside him told him it wouldn't have been any better if he did make a remark .

" How many times do you have to lie before you are satisfied , Byunghun ?  " Though low ,  Chanhee's  tone hurt Byunghun beyond repair  . " What??!! " shrieked the blonde . " When did I  eve- " He widened his eyes in disbelief only to have the other interrupt him. " You lied to me before !!  Back then when you said you would be meeting Changhyun where in fact you were meeting Myungsoo!! “  Snapped Chanhee  , waving  his shaking fist in free air . Grateful his short pause hadn't allowed Byunghun enough time to retort ,  Chanhee took a deep breath  regaining his composure . " Though small and possibly white ,  a lie is a lie ! " Hissed Chanhee . “ I can't  believe you no matter how darn  much I love you .. “ He honestly  felt bad saying that but he had to .

 “ Lying is a disease - to me - . “ He said with a tone of finality . “ I won't disregard even a white lie ,  Byunghun !  Just because you are the love of my life ,  doesn't mean you are a saint ; impeccable. “ Chanhee had his serious moments as well after all and he wasn’t exactly the best person to deal with when serious . Byunghun stood there only staring at his supposed lover .  He felt so stupid he didn’t defend himself . Lastly , as if Chanhee wanted to cure Byunghun of the so called lying disease , he spoke up again. “ If you can make  a habit of lying then you can make one of stopping . “ His tone considerably lower yet strict ,  Chanhee resumed , unwavering determination- to prove his point- overflowed his mindset. " And if you lied once ,  it means you have an inclination to do so again !   I have every right to think you are lying anytime now  . " To say Byunghun was flabbergasted and crestfallen would be an understatement.A terrible one at that . It took him  a couple of seconds to regain his composure , to swallow deeply and reconnect his widely parted lips . His hands that were crossed ,  hung loosely as if mirroring his disheartened , defeated state. Suffering deafening silence ,  the tension-filled room grew even more suffocating , if that was possible .

Settling for staring at Chanhee in sheer disappointment and affliction , Byunghun bitterly scoffed averting his eyes to the wall at his left - over which hung  a lonely painting  of a withering  snow-white rose . What a metaphor ! Barely refraining from getting emotional , Byunghun once again redirected his almost black orbs to Chanhee . “ First of all . I’m not a prisoner ! Do I really have to tell you such term is not actually  a good one ? It’s not romantic nor nice .. I wouldn’t enjoy hearing it and if you think I would then you are wrong . Choose your words ! This is not a prison , I’m here willingly ! And If I ever feel like it’s getting as suffocating as a cage , I would fly away ! “ Such a daring argument  , Byunghun knew and he wasn’t even done .

Chanhee , though , was too astonished by such reaction  rendering him speechless but not for a long time  ..

“ That won’t happen ! you won’t ever leave my side . “ Chanhee took in a deep breath before gazing intensely at the younger , dominance practically overflowing in his tone .

“ I can and will if I ever felt you are being too much ! “ Insisted Byunghun returning the intense gaze .

“ My word is final  , Byunghun ! whatever you plan to do , report to me . I don’t want you to go out often , you should be here the moment I get back home .  “  commanded Chanhee completely ignoring the younger’s previous words like they never mattered because he wouldn’t let Byunghun leave . Not now .. Not after he had engraved himself too deeply in the elder's heart .

Byunghun licked his lips nodding as he tried his best to suppress his rage .

He was not a child to report to Chanhee ! He never had to do such thing with his parents , his legal guardians !  Chanhee was sure taking it too far .

" You know what ? I say you've watched too many TV dramas for your own good . I wouldn't be surprised if one day you accused me of sleeping with Myungsoo ! " His chest heaving in and out , Byunghun snapped ,  his veins almost popping out of his neck , face tainted red contrasting his normally fair complexion . Anger ,  hurt and  disappointment surged   , running up his spine . And Before Chanhee could even utter a word ,  the door slammed shut as Byunghun stormed out of the room  knowing their argument could have gotten brutally worse after his remark .   Few days  ~ ♦ ~ later “ What took you so long ?  ” Asked Chanhee as he answered the door . Byunghun replied only to have Chanhee cock his head at Myungsoo ,  waiting for his brother's confirmation. Licking his lips at the obvious insult ,  Byunghun scoffed simultaneously.  He was hurt that Chanhee didn't even bother to consider his feelings in front of Myungsoo . " Yea ,  he is telling the truth . " Defended Myungsoo mentally scolding his brother . Chanhee snorted before mocking , saying " There's a first to everything  . " Byunghun's jaw could have dropped . However ,  he found himself staring at Chanhee ,  mouth sealed shut . He didn’t know that the elder was feeling upset not because of jealousy alone but because of getting no attention or concern .  Chanhee’s life had somehow changed into piles of papers , a list of employees and dozens of new contacts saved in his phone .. A lot to memorize , a lot to organize and manage .. The fact he had argued with Byunghun a lot  recently made him even more upset , they have never fought that much and unfortunately , he had a feeling they would be fighting even more in the near future .

Night time :

" I thought you knew how Chanhee swayed by now. "

Stated Myungsoo  , pouring himself a cup of ice cappuccino   defying the cold weather. " What do you mean ? " Growled Byunghun ,  his features scrunched up in distress and impatience . Myungsoo parted his lips for a sigh but said nothing .

He put the ice cappuccino back in the fridge , made himself comfortable on the chair across the younger  and lastly  sipped from his cup as if he needed it in order to start talking . Byunghun grew even more impatient  , tapping his feet and fingers .

" I thought you were brighter than tha- " " Enough of your thoughts , Myungsoo ! Skip the teasing ! "  Byunghun cut him short , growing easily irritated .

Noting that ,  Myungsoo faked a cough , deciding to drop his humorous act. " Well .. Chanhee has his sick ways of conveying whatever is there on his equally sick mind .  " Byunghun cocked his head  , " Elaborate " style.

" .. I wasn't present when you guys got together . However , I can easily guess he had his fair share of being an obsessive ,  possessive and irrationally jealous boyfriend .  "

Byunghun almost gasped at how true that was . Myungsoo , unfazed ,  moved on with his talk

" Chanhee does things worrying about the future..  If he accuses you of being touchy with other guys or has you under  siege , it means he is warning you not to think of cheating  on him and that things wouldn't turn pretty if you did  . "

He had explained deeply like chanhee was an intricate mess of emotions . " Hence and  similarly..  If he accuses you of lying and pushes your limits too much about it ,  it means he is warning you not to lie to him ever again .  " " You could say it’s his own version of  ‘ Being cautious ‘ . “ concluded  Myungsoo , his hands making air quotation marks .   Byunghun scoffed loudly. “ What a fucking psycho ! " Byunghun didn’t lie about the party and deep inside he knew chanhee was aware of that too . However ,  it seemed  Chanhee wanted a certain point  engraved on Byunghun's mind . That being , { If I  was being irrationally mad when there was a big chance you hadn't lied , imagine how I would get if you actually had .  }

Few days later , Byunghun pov :  His room :   I talk to myself these days . Everything had finally took a toll on me . Upon coming to realization I  had  literally devoured the Pâté in less than a minute ( well in figurative sense , I mean  ) ,  I scrunched the plastic bag then observed the back of it . " Keep in aerated place away from direct sunlight  . " Trailing my eyes a little lower ,  I  read  " one piece .  " Ahahahahahahaha ~ Yup . I did it . I just cracked up at my own silly joke. The anime " one piece " came to mind , first thing. Well , now I know loneliness and having had a fight with Chanhee are not good for my health.

Meanwhile , Changjo pov : A thought bugged me and I  had to ask. " Do you still like Byunghun ? "   A silence - I expected -  reigned the air as I let those words easily  slip past my lips . "  Where did this come from ?  " Was his answer , more like question . He looked utterly taken aback by it but he managed to let out a brief awkward laughter thinking I would let it slide that way . " Nothing. " I fiddled with my fingers suddenly feeling self-conscious . " It just sort of crossed my mind. " I idly added ,  sighing as I locked eye-contact with him. " Jonghyun - ah .. " He closed his eyes ,  slightly  smiling in disbelief but I was more interested in the excuse he would be making up that I left him enough room to think all he liked . And when he didn't have anything to say ,  I took the lead. " Changhyun ,  it is clear you still do .. I mean ,  ever since we have  started dating ,  I was always the one to take the initiative. “ “ I'm always the one thinking how  we would spend the next day,  I'm always the one to plan everything.. I'm willing to do any and everything for you ..  And the fact I doubt you would do half of those things for me hammers in my heart like no other !  " I took a deep breath before I contemplated my following words because they would literally change everything. " You never felt the sudden urge to surprise me with anything because you ,  Changhyun , are lying to yourself thinking you would move on and get over Byunghun with me ..  No .  The better term would be BY  me ,  by using me. " My words were harsh but that was that was  only because I was hurt just as bad . " My lie was allowing myself into yours  .. " My voice nearly cracked as I pieced the puzzle together. His eyebrows never ceased knotting all way through my speech . His eyes were enough of a proof .. He was confused ,  ashamed and disappointed  .. - in himself or in  me ,  that I didn't quite manage to grasp - . But more than anything .. he looked thoughtful as if my words had a lot more impact than I had expected them to have. As if he wasn't even aware he was hurting me all that time . He gulped blinking before recollecting himself as he readied himself to finally start being honest. " Jonghyun !  Byunghun was my first love AND best friend ! " I flinched hearing ( the four- lettered-word ) and (Byunghun) in one sentence but  did not interrupt him ,  I was far more busy controlling the sickening feeling creeping up my spine . Having been  mentally and emotionally drained if not destroyed ; because of one-sided devotion and expectations , I barely contained the stinging sensation surging through my veins as though a deadly disease. " It is not easy to get him out of my heart ,  I admit .  But that is absolutely no reason for you to accuse me of such deeds !! " His voice wavered not because he was lying , but  because he was hurt I had  thought of him like that . But Then again , I was hurting  as well  !   I needed answers ! We both averted our eyes elsewhere ,  doing our hardest not to burst into tears and for once  we were equally hurt , nonetheless ,  due to different reasons . Looking at the vibrant-green forest  painting hanging on the wall , a thought crossed my mind. Green . Green eye . It was getting harder controlling any gasps ,  whimpers or voice cracking . However,  I willed myself to spill it all. " Changhyun ,  I see the way  you look at Chanhee . " I bitterly smiled not sparing him a look as I calmly opened the gates of hell a bit more upon our so called relationship . " What do you mean? " He asked , breathing heavy as he attempted to  silence his weeps . " YOU are jealous of him ,  Changhyun  !! " I snapped , spinning my head at him in the speed of light . Was I  sick of him playing dumb or rather sick of myself for never having it in me to confront him ? He stood up towering my sitting position , his lips parted but no words came out . I watched as he massaged his jaw ,  alternating between licking , biting his lips and parting them as though suppressing a disastrous   confession . " of course I would be jealous !!  The guy came out of the blue ,  poisoned Byunghun's mind if not hypnotized  and managed to do the thing I ,  Yoo Changhyun -  Byunghun's best friend - , had failed to !! " " If anyone had it in him to turn Byunghun gay ,  it should have been me ! " In the midst of his outburst ,  Changhyun had  missed the fact his words had a total negative impact on me , to say the least !! Where did I stand in all Of that  ?   " I hate it !  Chanhee easily outshines me , makes  me feel  incompetent and that had  only increased when they had that accident .  " " I have never imagined he could risk his life for Byunghun to survive !!  " He Paused to catch  deep breath ,  his chest contracting and expanding rapidly . " I'm disappointed in myself because I  feel incompetent .. And that worries me regarding us ..  " I could just scoff at that .   " No .. No . Don't you dare turn this around like you care about me  .  "

I had nearly snickered refusing to believe in his words anymore . It has always been about Byunghun and will forever stay that  way . I was downgrading myself saying that but it was better than being delusional .

A/N

updated : October /20/2015

word count : 3163

Hello , guyz .

I made some contributions to this chapter ( highlighted in light gray ) and saved some parts for later chapters ~ Which means more fights for Chunjoe ~

I hope you like  this new version ~

[leechxhee]

👀 + What was your reaction and how were you like when you heard that LJoe is nullifying his contract/not being in Teen Top anymore?

send my muse “👀 + a question” and they’ll have to answer with 100% honesty / acceptingfor: anonymous 

hm…. to be fair i wasnt really surprised that he actually did it since we talked about it before it actually happened. not to mention he was also posting somewhat depressing posts on instagram as well as all the name changes so with that, in a way, i kinda just knew he made his decision on not wanting to be apart of being in top media anymore. even though i knew it was gonna happen, I’d be lying to myself if I said it didnt sadden me at all; honestly i think it made me too sad for my well being. though i personally didnt want him to leave, i also didnt want him to continue on if he wasnt happy; if anything i’d prefer him to be happy doing something he wants to do freely even though that means he’ll no longer be promoting with us and be apart of teen top. it’s a hard decision to make and I give him props for making a decision that’ll make him happy in the long run. he may no longer be a part of teen top physically, but to many fans, the members and myself, he’s still apart of the group.

I do wish him the best of luck with his acting career and I know he’ll do well. hopefully, in the future and when the time’s right, the six of us could come back together and meet up often.

[noelshipschunjoe]

sanguine

He was not particularly mad at the kiss .. No . He might have even enjoyed it .. What broke his heart was the fact Chanhee treated him like a lover one moment , and the other , a very appetizing meal , an object , something he owned and possessed the right to control . Byunghun hated how the first kiss they ever shared was in fact forced , something to make him 'shut up' as a certain pureblood so eloquently put it . He didn't imagine it to be like that .. so out of place and random .

[noelshipschunjoe]

sanguine

Casting an appreciative  glance at the vast pond over which a bridge was built connecting two sides of land , the pureblood was met with a pleasant scent . Water lilies . He recognized .Encased in pearly white softness , dotted with droplets of water ,  was a golden core that almost shone in the moonlight .  Fresh , lightly sweet , a little aquatic and a little lemony .

[noelshipschunjoe]

sanguine

Humans , despite their mortality , were truly blessed .  They always have , Even if they didn't see that . And Chanhee had always envied them because of it . The say ' you only know the value of something once you lose it ' . By the same token , Chanhee believes , you only see the flaws of something once you have it . Humans would only know the value of their humanity once they lose it . And they would only see the flaws of being immortal once they become one . It was ironic , really .