For your mini game fic may I request Azriel and the letter U ??
Thanks! I think it will shape up nicely.
I think I misunderstood the assignment. The word mini was probably just a suggestion, right?
Here's 2400 words of Azriel being sort of sad, but mostly happy.
Azriel ghosted the tips of his fingers over the package in front of him. The small Onyx box felt warm under his ice-cold touch. He was resting his head in the crook of his elbow, staring at it from where it sat on his desk.Â
For the better part of an hour, he had been pacing his room with the box moving from his hand to his pocket, to the void between worlds, and back into his hand again. The longer he held it, the more it seemed to burn in his palm. A part of him wanted to throw it in the Sidra and be done with it.
Now it was sitting on his desk, mocking him.Â
Azriel let out an annoyed puff of air, nudging the little thing with his fingers.Â
âStill sulking?â A velvet smooth voice asked from behind him.Â
âIâm not sulking.â He replied, turning to see Rhys leaning casually in his doorway as if he belonged there.Â
Those violet eyes caught sight of the box and lingered there for a moment before turning their attention to Azriel. With a sigh, Azriel stood up from his chair and sat on the edge of his desk instead, effectively hiding the box from view.Â
At the sight of Rhysâs raised eyebrow, Azriel crossed both his ankles and his arms, leveling a bored look at his brother. His mental shields were tight, but he silently begged his brother not to mention it anyway.
Azrielâs muscles were tight, expecting the worst.Â
âI canât believe we wonât see you tonight, Az.âÂ
âIâve already told Feyre Happy Birthday and given her the gift I bought for her.â He started to explain defensively. He had been expecting this, but it was still tiring. âAnd-âÂ
âRelax, Az. Iâm not here to scold you. I just wanted to say goodbye and Happy Solstice."Â
There was something sad in his eyes, and Azriel felt immediately guilty.Â
âIâm sorry, Rhys.â He blew out a breath. âIâm just a little on edge.âÂ
âI know justâŠâ Rhys worried his bottom lip, looking past Azriel toward the window. Starlight glinted off the silver sheen in his eyes. âDonât think you canât talk to me about ⊠anything.âÂ
It was very rare that Rhys fumbled over his words, and the sight made Azriel want to snort with laughter. Then he felt the weight of what the shadows deposited into his pocket and felt nausea rise in his throat instead.Â
âYeah, Rhys. I know.âÂ
His High Lord shook off whatever melancholy had settled across his shoulders and let a smile bloom on his face.Â
When they clasped hands over each otherâs arms, Rhys asked, âOff to Rosehall then?âÂ
âBringing a gift?â His eyes flicked down to Azrielâs pocket like he could see through the layers to what was inside that box.Â
âCourse.â He mumbled, moving to step past the other male.Â
âYouâll tell her I said hi?âÂ
âAnd that, despite what you tell her, itâs you who works me to death, not the other way around.Â
âGoodbye, Rhys.â He shoved his brother playfully and moved out into the hallway. Â
âBye, Az.â He heard Rhys murmur as the shadows swept him away.Â
Cold wind whipped at his face, and Azriel tucked his wings in tight. Out here in the middle of nowhere, the winter was unforgiving, and the last thing he needed was getting air caught underneath them. If he pulled a muscle trying to keep them from being ripped off, Azriel was going to be pissed.Â
It wasnât until he made it past Rhysâs barrier that he let his muscles relax. Ensconced in warmth, Azriel shrugged off his coat and walked inside the small cottage. It was surrounded by a lush garden that stayed in perpetual bloom, protected by the High Lordâs magic. Azriel never did have the heart to ask Rhys if it was real or just an illusion. He could see the flowers, smell them, and even touch them; that was real enough.
Once inside, he took off his boots and shuffled into the kitchen. For the next few minutes, he bathed in ritual. As Azriel let the kettle come to a boil on the stove, he ran his fingers over the altar and remembered the last time he was here. It had been too long since the last visit.Â
âHey, Mom.â A genuine smile flashed across his face, making his cheeks hurt. âI brought something new to try today. Youâll like it, I promise.âÂ
With that, Azriel set about clearing the altar and resetting it, making sure to set out enough plates for the bread Elain had baked for him as well as the cookies from Cassian.Â
âI canât vouch for the sweets.â He said with a grin. âBut the rest of it is very good.âÂ
Carefully pouring four cups of tea, Azriel settled on the carpet and turned his attention to the portrait at the end.Â
âElain is trying to teach your son how to bake, but itâs not going well. Iâm sure you can imagine.â Â
Next, his gaze settled on the portrait in the middle, smirking. âHe sends his love.âÂ
The shadows dropped something in his lap
âRight. I thought you might want these.â He placed two small paintings next to the portrait of Rhysâs mother. One of Rhys and Feyre together, and the other of Nyx.Â
Just like the portraits of the three females in front of him, Azriel had asked Feyre to paint these for him.
Rhysâs Mother had been a simple task. Between Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys, her memory was alive and strong, so Feyre had plenty to work with. His mother's portrait was a little more difficult. Though he did have some memories of her, most were hazy at best, and there weren't many people left who remembered her when she was young and vibrant, which is what Azriel wanted painted. That's how he wanted to see her every time he came for a visit. Â
What had been most difficult was finding people who remembered Cassian's mother. She had lived a hard life, and since Cassian had killed all of those responsible for his mother's pain, it made finding a trail of her memory almost impossible. They got lucky eventually, and the portrait they repainted felt right even though he had never met the female. Cassian had her eyes and her bright smile.Â
Though this place was just for Azriel, his brother knew the painting existed. Feyre had even given him a copy, but Azriel was not convinced Cassian had ever looked at it. Some things were just too painful. It was a good thing he now had Nesta to lean on if he ever did decide to look at it.
There was no telling what the others thought about him coming out here to sit with the three of them. Likely, they didnât care, but he had never asked outright for fear they wouldn't understand. Though Rhys maintained this place for him, had created it for him, he sometimes saw a hint of worry flash across his brother's face whenever Azriel announced he would be visiting. Maybe that's why he had not come in such a long time.
Though only his mother was buried here, he could imagine the other two females coming by to visit often. Now that he was sitting here letting his heart rest, Azriel remembered how much he loved it. There was such a sense of peace that came with caring for their memorials and altar spaces. He enjoyed talking to them and catching them up on all of their lives. It soothed the jagged edges of his tired soul.
"There is someone⊠New.â He started, slightly apprehensive. âWell, they are not new, but this ⊠feeling is.â Azriel swallowed. The words were stuck. It was ridiculous that he couldnât even talk about it here, of all places.Â
Rhys had this place made for him after the war. After the male became High Lord, Azriel sought out news of his mother. While his father had been High Lord, it had been impossible to search, even with his shadows. There was no good news to be found at the other end of that search.Â
Cassianâs anger about the discovery of what happened to his mother had been violent and deadly, but what Azriel had done, he still couldnât talk about. Not even Azriel fully understood the depths of his abilities as a Shadowsinger, and that day he learned that not knowing came at a terrible price.Â
Rhys found him in the aftermath and did his best to cover it up for him. After memories were wiped and the land was abandoned, Rhys had this place built. It took Azriel a long time to be able to even set foot here, knowing his soul could never be whole again. Now it had become somewhere he could soothe the mangled pieces of himself when life got too heavy.Â
âYou would like them. TheyâreâŠâ Nice? No. Nice would never be a word he could use to describe them. The thought made Azriel smile.Â
No. Not nice but ⊠âKind. Theyâre kind.âÂ
For the next hour, he just talked and sipped at his tea. No one had ever heard him like this, not even his brothers. If Azrielâs family could see how animated he was now, they would probably all keel over from shock.Â
His mother had been the only person he had ever wanted to be this open and vulnerable with. That was until he found himself at the center of someone else's universe, trapped by the weight of all they meant to him. It was inescapable, but somehow felt more natural than anything else ever had. How far they had come, and here Azriel was about to push for more.
As he told his mother about them, Azriel toyed with the small box in his hand that had somehow migrated out of his pocket while he talked. It felt heavier than it had just a few hours ago, and, more than anything, he wished his mother were here to see the gift and tell him what she thought of it.
That could never happen, so, standing, he stretched his cramped limbs and wings.
"That's where I'm going now,â he said to her. âIt's the first solstice I've spent apart from everyone.â That thought alone made him want to throw up.
Was he doing the right thing?
âYou are the closest thing I've ever felt to home.â Azriel sighed. âI love the family I have built, but there has always been something missing. I think I have finally found what that was.âÂ
Velaris had been home in a sense, but now that he was facing down a future he was too scared to say how much he wanted, Azriel wondered if he ever truly understood what home was meant to be.Â
He took his time cleaning up and arranging his offerings exactly how he liked them. Perhaps he was stalling a bit.Â
When his boots were back on, Azriel gave his mother and the others one final goodbye, then stepped into his shadows. A step closer to everything he ever wanted, a step closer to home.Â
A moment later, the chill from the void was quickly swept away by the warmth from a fire in the hearth. The only fire he had ever been able to trust. That alone should've clued him in to how he felt much sooner than it had.Â
He slipped off his boots once again and padded over to the figure asleep on the couch, careful to avoid piles of hounds littering the path. Lit by the orange and gold glow of the flames, Azriel was struck by how beautiful the male looked, more beautiful than he could ever put into words. His heart clenched at the sight.
Azriel exhaled and felt every muscle in his body relax, the tension melting away now that he was here. He leaned over the back of the couch and kissed a pale, freckled temple that felt as smooth as silk under his lips.Â
âYouâre late.â The smoky timber of that voice, still dressed in sleep, somehow never seemed to lose its snark.Â
âSleep.â He shushed, placing another kiss, this time against that warm, supple throat. The scent he inhaled made his knees wobble, but still somehow gave him the courage to crawl onto the couch, positioning them both until Azriel was stretched out, slotting his lover between his legs.Â
The solid weight of those muscles lying on top of him settled his racing heart. Before he knew what he was doing, Azriel placed the small onyx box he had been carrying around all day onto his chest. A glowing amber eye cracked open at the movement and just stared in silence.Â
It wasn't until he opened the hinged lid that both of those golden eyes met his, wide with shock. He felt the heartbeat on top of his begin to beat faster and faster in anticipation. Slowly, so very slowly, Azriel picked up the ring that was resting on that black velvet and slipped it effortlessly on a waiting finger, never breaking their stare.Â
They looked at the ring where it sat, and Azriel followed their gaze. It looked like it had always been there, like it had always meant to be there. When those eyes met his again, all of the gold had nearly been swallowed by the black of blown-out pupils.Â
Azriel's breath caught, and before either of them could say a word, pillow-soft lips surged for his, and they lost themselves in each other for countless hours. Clothes came off gently, reverently, and teeth and tongue nipped and tasted every inch of newly revealed skin.
As they moved inside each other, reaching and reaching and reaching, Azriel felt everything fall into place. He gasped into the feel of it, crying out every time he shattered, and running his scarred, rough hands over every smooth surface, unable to get enough.Â
As whatever they were forging together solidified between them, Azriel felt the truth of it. It shone bright and unwavering, hollowing him out and filling him back up with something new and so, so real. The power of it beckoned him forward, daring him to fall further, deeper.Â
So he did, knowing that he had come home at last.
Beautiful dividers by @olenvasynyt !!
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