Mar 30, 2021
I'm happy and free now.
seen from China
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I'm happy and free now.
It sucks that it turned out this way. I should've listened to my guts and just suck it up before giving up. You're such a stupid girl Nad. Crying won't do shit. You're a nobody to anyone. You disgusting thing.
Day 2
The urge to slice my throat seems stronger today
Once you start trusting someone, you give then the power to hurt you. Only people you love can betray you.
It’s been 5 years
I'm numb again. Why does it always happen at the start of the year? It's empty. I don't feel anything. I tried. God knows, I have. Maybe this is just the bottle of cough syrup I downed. I want to fly. The wind gushing against my ice cold face and my heart filled with adrenaline. Some people are just born into chaos. They can see the hate in this world. I know those who dreamed of fairies and santas but my life is filled with war and terrorism. It's me against me. None of us is winning. It's ok. I'll just keep hiding. Everything seem much easier when it's blurred. Keep smoking those cancer sticks, down those shots and nick that skin, it's already disfigured anyway. One day, you'll be damaged enough to fuck it all. That's when I'll have the courage to truly fly.
Bye, bitch!
I have gone through too many unhappiness in my life. If this lifestyle makes me happy then I will continue with it. I have learnt that you cannot make everyone happy. So why not just make the most important person in your life, which is yourself, happy? If you want to think that I am a failure then its up to you. I've spoken to my psychologist about it and decided that other peoples' opinions about me don't matter anymore. I will do whatever I want that makes me happy. How you make me feel says a lot about you. But really though, what the fuck is success without happiness? You can live in a billion dollars and still want to kill yourself. So please tell me the point. I've had it with you and your 'advises'. Right now, I just want to be happy and content.