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In-Depth Cinderella Thoughts (or re-writing the movie because I do not understand brevity)

First of all, this is my new favourite comfort movie. It's so much fun, colourful, and Idina Menzel is fabulous. The costuming was exquisite and it does feel like a lot of effort was put into the visuals in this movie.

But if I got a chance to write the plot, here are some changes I'd make (And am very tempted to write as my own Cinderella retelling or fix-it fanfic?). I tried to make this very coherent, but it's me and my messy thoughts in the end with a bit of reviewing and developing but don't expect this to be some sort of flawless movie pitch or something. Just bear with me.

TLDR: The ending needs much change, and the movie gets a small bit of restructuring to develop the characters more and made a stronger ending. Vivian and Gwen get a lot more character development. The King and Queen are more non-characters in this to make room for Gwen and Vivian. The Prince's role gets cut a bit too. Musical motifs are used. Some other stuff. I don't know how to explain it briefly anymore.

3K + word essay on fixing the script below:

First, I'd change the songs. Million to One and Dream Girl are staying, but I'd scrap the rest and write new original ones, although I'm very tempted to leave Material Girl in. I love Idina signing it, but think there are easier, more subtle ways to introduce this as her worldview. And it can be done within existing scenes, leaving more room to develop the characters. I loved the choreography in Rhythm Nation, but I just felt lit it set an odd tone for the movie since it makes it look like everyone is content in their roles in society, despite them being unfair. The song can be similar to Rhythm Nation, showing how well the nation flows when everyone is in their roles, with the importance being of everyone being in their roles, whether they like it or not. Alternatively, we can cut the opening number altogether in favour of an overture style montage, showing similar scenes and using all the important motifs and character themes.

There is no narration/voiceover in this version.

The next scene is the scene where Tomas is coming to see the Tremaines (at the end of the opening number, we follow his carriage to their house for a smooth transition). Cinderella is not there, and the scene is unchanged. We don't know who any of these characters are (in-universe if you know the casting etc., you'd know) and were shown a mother who is deeply concerned about the future of her two daughters now that her husband is dead. The mother comes off as very stiff and strict and the daughters are like they already are in the movie, seemingly not to take her seriously so we can see why she might be worried about them. It should be clear that Vivian can only see Tomas courting either of her girls, not Ella, but from the way, Tomas acts we get the sense he was hoping someone else would be home. There is no implication besides Tomas hinting he was looking for someone else that Ella is here.

Then, we get introduced to Ella, someone who certainly does not like her role. We meet her just as "Ella" with no mentions of Cinderella, while she's planning to sell her dress at the changing of the guards. It can still be in the basement, but no connection to the scene before should be made. When we get introduced to her, we get a whiff of the theme of the song that replaces Rhythm Nationand it blends into Ella humming her Million to One theme, which should have some similarities to the lines/verses that allude to people who aren't satisfied in their roles in society. On this note, the replacement to Rhythm Nation should also have a theme that goes with Dream Girl, so that Vivian can have her own theme for her own worldview. This way, the songs won't feel so out of place, and they will aid in telling the story through character motifs. This would also make the movie closer to a classical Broadway musical where themes and motifs are reprised and used again. I'm thinking a lot of Into the Woods and Wicked as examples, but this movie would be slightly closer to Wicked than Into the Woods. Ella is seemingly talking to herself. It should be unclear if the mice are real or a part of her imagination. The caterpillar is real. We see Ella save it, maybe it can be a callback to something about her mother, but I’m not much interested in developing that here, much further than either there is a short flashback, or her mother’s broach being a butterfly.

We don’t have a Million to One here, but we do get a prelude to it as Ella puts the finishing touches on her dress.

Next, I want to set up Gwen as a stronger character and contender for the throne. If we're giving this a feminist view, we should introduce all of our female characters and their world views first. Gwen now gets her own song (also the actress has an amazing voice, why wasn't it used more? It's a crime), it's not used here but the motif is used, and it grows as she's in her chambers, muttering to herself and writing down policies. We think she's next in line. Just as the music swells and it looks like she's about to burst into song, the king calls her name. This is where we meet the King, Queen, and the prince is absent. The King informed her that they will be having a ball because the prince refuses to do his duty and marry. We are giving the impression he's a spoiled rich kid who has no idea of responsibility, especially in contrast to Gwen. She's given a list of things she must do, along with a comment about how these will be her duties once she’s married and in charge of frivolity n some far-off kingdom. Quick angles change the queen, who has been silent, looking like she’s about to say something, but doesn’t.

The scene then transitions into another song. It’s mostly Gwen’s song, but Vivian and Ella are also in, all signing about the discontents with this man’s world and their inability to change their place. There will be a line about begging for scraps and using them for all their worth. This song has a montage of all of them going over preparations for the changing of the guards. Ella planning to sell her dresses, her lyrics being hopeful and the most upbeat, Gwen hoping things will change but fairly sure they won’t while she arranges the servants. Vivian preparing her daughters, she is completely disillusioned, and her lines are about this is what you have to do. We can see how the world tears down these people, and it’s implied that eventually both Gwen and Ella will end up bitter like Vivian if they continue down their selective paths.

The song is broken by Vivian yelling for “Cinderella”. She rushes to make them their tea, sloppily. Her basement should be very messy, except for her fabric tables and cleaning supplies. There should be heaps of stuff that used to be the stepsisters/Vivian that they are storing there, covered in dust. Per the “Cinder” part of the nickname, it should be ashy and dusty with a large lit fireplace, making the room look very cold except standing near it. Like in the Ever AfterMovie, her bed should be near the fireplace. She has an actual bed though, however, it is shown throughout the movie to be on par as the ones used by servants and other lower-class members. If one does not know the story of Cinderella, they should assumer Ella is the servant.

The next scene is the one where she serves Vivian tea. The daughters are standing in the background, not sitting because Vivian is still very much above them. There are two other tea sets on the table and two cups of tea in front of Vivian. They’re colour coordinated to the stepsister’s clothes so it’s easy to tell it was their cups of tea. The line about “this drivel” is unchanged, however, Vivian does not say stuff about Cinderella’s future husband. She says future house/housemaster etc. Then she goes on a small rant about her being an orphan, and how kind she has been taking her dearly departed second husband’s wild daughter and trying to shape her into a respectable woman, but Cinderella is just so uncooperative and could never be a housewife, she is better suited for servitude, but if she really tried, she might make a ladies maid or something a bit more respectable. I think the stepmother needs to come off as much meaner. Her motive should be clear, but it should also be clear that her behaviour is unacceptable and wrong. It should also be shown that she has some built-up resentment towards Cinderella. The scene ends with Vivian telling Ella to clean up and reminding her that she is lucky she hasn’t been thrown out on the streets. “What is going to happen to you when I am no longer here to defend you, Ella?” Vivian knows Cinderella’s real name and uses it sparingly when she’s trying to come off as nice. It’s manipulation.

Ella sulks off to the basement and dresses up. She hides her dress in her knapsack. It takes too long as Ella gets directed sketching, and Vivian comes down. Upon seeing that Ella has been drawing/making dresses, she yells at her and throws some of the drawings in the fire, threatening to not let her have a room at all. Ella needs to stay focused on what’s important in life. Vivian only throws out the stuff that Ella has been working on, drags her up the stairs lecturing her on it’s something she can do in her spare time, should she be allowed to have spare time, but it should interfere with her duties.

A big swell of royal music as they come upon the castle. People are milling around. We hear snippets of people whispering about Lady Tremaine and her spinsterish daughters, with much criticism on Vivian and her handling of Ella, and Vivian’s need for another husband. We learn they are bankrupt.

The scene with Ella climbing up on the statue remains. This is where we meet the prince for the first time. The scene focuses more on the balcony than on Ella, and we see the prince get more and more intrigued with Ella as she quips with his father. The Queen looks very uncomfortable with this, and Gwen looks impressed. Vivian’s double-take STAYS I loved it. Music starts as the peasants dissipate, and keep the part where Ella is dancing to her own beat/music unlike the rest of the citizens, making her stand out.

Then, we follow the royals inside. Gwen and the Prince talk, the prince saying Gwen should take the throne, Gwen reminding him that she can’t and calling him a few choice words for not wanting this. She winders herself up and starts yelling at him about her frustrations. He yells back, saying he doesn’t want this, and he can’t do what he wants either. They duet, the prince about wanting love, his parts having a montage of Ella, and Gwen, wanting to be queen, with a montage of the kingdom prospering under her rule.

We end with the prince dresses as a commoner in the streets. He runs into Ella trying to sell her dress. One of the shop owners calls a guard on her and the prince helps her runs away. They have the same exchange as in the movie and he buys her dress.

Ecstatic, Ella runs home. She sees Vivian making her daughters do the wash and overhear her telling them that they need to marry rich if they don’t want to do the washing. Ella mutters something about taking washing over a husband, implying she wants her shop and she’d do the washing. Back in the basement, she’s talking to herself again, about how proud her stepmother would be of her. She can make money for them. Bring them out of poverty, save her father’s house. Million to One starts. In the shop vision, we also see her being respected by Vivian and owning her father’s house with her sisters happily married. She starts working on her dress that she is going to wear to the ball. It ends with her running up the stairs to present herself to Vivian and tell her the good news.

We have a misunderstanding. Vivian tells Ella that she has great news, she knows how Ella can save her father’s house. Ella says she does too, and at the same time Vivian says she is betrothed, and Ella says she sold a dress. Vivian goes quiet, and the stepsisters take some steps back while Ella goes on about how she’ll own a shop, make money. No one would have to get married or do anything they never wanted again. She offers the sisters work in her shop. They almost accept, caught up in her dream when Vivian stops them, and Ella’s excitement. Vivian is furious. She sternly tells Ella that it is illegal for a woman to own a shop or make sales. That she could get all of them thrown in jail. Ella tried to persuade her by giving her the leftover money, but Vivian is standing strong. She tells Ella in no certain terms that she will not be going to the ball, she will never, ever speak of selling a dress again, and she will marry the day after tomorrow as Tomas is not only looking over Cinderella’s lack of a dowery or any actuals skills but is willing to save their house. Ella tries to protest, and Vivian ruins the dress, telling her she has eighteen hours to find it within herself to do her duty to this family. We see actual fear in Vivian’s eyes at the idea of being destitute. She then turns to her daughters while Ella sulks off and tells them that they will find a match tonight as poverty would not become them.

They leave and Ella is cleaning her room, Million to One reprises, the theme sadder as she cries over some of her designs. Devastated, Ella starts tearing at her dresses and throwing the pictures in the fire. I want this lowest moment to feel low. In the movie, it was over too quickly.

Ella realizes she made a mistake and tried to rescue a few of her drawings but she can’t and collapses on the floor in tears.

Now the fairy godmother appears. His song had musical motifs similar to Million to One, giving Ella new hope and telling her that her life is going to change. Ella asks to make sure that Vivian and her sisters can’t recognize her (how did the queen lady know Ella after the party?). She gets a carriage out of a pumpkin, and horses from mice etc. She wishes she could wear one of her own dresses and the fairy godmother restores one of the designs from the fire and tells her never to give up on her dreams, then leaves.

At the balls, it’s masquerade but Ella isn’t wearing a mask so that she stands out. Also, I just like masks it will be pretty. We see the prince trying to find out if Ella is there. Ella is looking for him but keeps avoiding the prince as she’s worried about having to dance with him wasting her time. She runs into Vivian, who does not recognize her and Vivian all but kisses her shoes thinking she is some royal. It’s rather demeaning and pathetic and Vivian is coming off as very desperate. The stepsisters in the background flirting with different men, and we see them both get turned down by the prince. We see Gwen trying to talk politics with her father’s generals but getting turned down. Ella meets the queen from the other country, the scene stays as-is. I enjoyed how tong tied Ella got, it works as she is a peasant and not used to nobility and we all get like that sometimes. Like in the movie, when he’s leaving, she gets caught up with the prince. This progresses with the prince offering to marry her and fix all her problems (and is a bit demeaning because that’s how he was raised)She refuses because of her dreams. They part on sour turns.

Sometime before the party is over, Gwen says something that changes his mind, but by then she is gone and all that’s left is her shoe. Vivian sees it and hears the orders for the land to be searched for the wearer of the shoe. The montage of looking for the wearer stays, I thought it was very well edited.

Then we flip back to the estate where Ella is trying to get her stuff together to escape before she has to leave. Vivian decides to surprise her with breakfast because she knows what she is resigning Ella too. She never uses the cinder prefix for this part of their exchange. Ella begs her to reconsider, but Vivian tells her that we all have to do things in life we don’t like and that she made certain Tomas is a nice man and will treat her right. She says she might be strict, but she isn’t cruel, and Ella should see some of the men Lady X’s daughters ended up with. Ella would have a house and position and when Anastasia and Drizela get married, Vivian promises she can have her father’s house back. Just don’t mess this up. Ella forcefully agrees to this, side eying her runaway bag she’s hastily hidden. Vivian gets up to leave, but trips on the bag. She goes tumbling down on the floor and ends up eye-level with the shoe Ella had hidden under the dresser.

“it’s You!” she exclaimed, then tells Ella that this is wonderful, and she doesn’t have to marry Tomas. She can be queen. She can rule the country. Vivian goes on about how Ella wants change, and with the Heir’s ear, she might be able to influence him and make it.

Ella says no. She doesn’t want a throne; she wants a dress shop. Vivian slaps her and calls her an ungrateful rat, saying she would have done anything to be in Ella’s position “Do you think I wanted to end up like this!? End up here with three unwed daughters and an estate on foreclosure!? I’m too old to marry rich again. You have no idea the sacrifices I’ve made to keep this place going. You have no idea about the sacrifices your mother must have made either. Life’s not fair Ella! (And so on)” then she tells the pianist story and Dream Girl starts. It finished with Vivian and the piano and Ella sneaking a look.

“You just don’t listen, I can save this house,” Ella says to no one, and she makes a run for it to the market square. Then the prince comes, and Vivian can’t find Ella, but shows him the shoe and tells him she accepted his hand in marriage, she’s just nervous about the wedding and the … after the wedding. Both are extremely uncomfortable and a big search for Ella is mounted.

Million to One is reprised along with Dream Girl as we see Ella fun through the forest and the fields, flipping between that and the hunt and the Queen who is waiting for her. She gets to the market square, and she is late, and the Queen is gone, she is then cornered by Vivian and Tomas, and the prince and his guards.

She now has a choice: go back to Vivian or marry the prince. Both Tomas and the prince make their appeals to her. The prince says things about changing laws, if she’s willing to wait until he gets crowned, he’ll change the laws then abdicate. Gwen wants the throne anyway and she’s more suited to it, just as Ella is more suited to running a business over a household.

She goes with the Prince and Vivian tells Ella she is proud of her, but Ella says she doesn’t want Vivian’s approval anymore.

Years pass as the prince becomes King, then Gwen becomes queen (much to the shock and dismay of the king, but he cannot do anything about it and Robert tells him as much), and the newly non-royal Robert invests all his money in his wife’s shop. We see that Ella and Vivian eventually reconcile their differences, and Vivian is given a private piano tutor. The stepsisters get to marry whom they wish.

We get the final scene much like the opening number, except that now everyone is happier. We see many female shop owners and Gwen’s table of female politicians etc. end credits roll.

I want Ella to marry the prince because a) it fits with the original fairytale and b) she is using the system to her advantage as much as she can. It puts her in the same place as Vivian, bound by the laws, but also serves to show how women in our history had to operate within the confines of their society. I also think that the king’s change at the end is way too fast, and this was he is forced into “accepting” it, but it doesn’t matter if he does or doesn’t.

I really hope all of this made sense.

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