I have a story (First person (I & we)) and I made a choice to tell the story as if it were literally a broadcast of what's in the character's head. Her perceptions of characters are from how she herself would see them, not how they actually are. One example of this is a lack of name for her brother, or using "my mom" instead of "Mom", since she has a bad relationship w/ them. Another example is her refusing to give her friend's bf a chance, and failing to see any good things about him. [1/2?]
[2/2] I had my friend beta read what I had written (about half the story) and she pointed out consistently that my character would describe the bf as “boring” multiple times without using other adjectives. And that was my point, that the MC refused to see anything about him besides how she saw his personality. Does this seem too confusing for readers since my beta reader didn’t get it? The style makes sense in my head, but I’m the author, afterall.
Hiya! Thanksfor your question! Being too repetitive is something a lot of writers strugglewith.
Being Consistent, Not Repetitive
Your friendhas a point, while I get what you were going for, being over-repetitive canreally make a story drag, and ironically, will make your main character seemboring. You need to focus on being consistent, but not repetitive. Even if sheonly sees him as boring, that doesn’t mean she can’t use other synonyms todescribe his character.
There arelots of ways to describe characters’ personalities. Constantly saying that they’reboring is going to lead into a lot of telling and not enough showing. While itis perfectly okay to tell rather than show every now and then, only telling isnot good for your story.
Describe his actions. Maybe he has anunexpressive face or voice. Think about what makes a person boring and givethose traits to your character.
Use comparisons. What types of peopledo they remind you of? Do they resemble a grey blob?
Remind your readers of your character’sopinion, but don’t constantly drill it into them. Does your characterimmediately think “Oh, here’s the boring boyfriend again” every time she seeshim? That can get irritating really quick for your readers. Constantlyrepeating things like that will make your readers assume you think they’re dumband can’t remember basic things about your characters. Obviously, the firsttime the readers meet him, describe how your main character feels, but afterthat, readers will only need occasional reminders that she doesn’t like him.
I could goon and on, but I think you get the point. While it may be important in yourstory that your character remains consistent in her opinion of others, thatdoesn’t mean you need to be overly-repetitive about it. Vary your descriptionsof him and use them sparingly.
Thanks againfor your question! If you need help with anything else writing-related, feelfree to send in another ask. Happy writing!
If you need adviceon general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!
