one thing i think about a lot in fantasies involving myself is trying to hold back birthing a massive litter (10 or even more) of babies and failing and then desperately giving birth where i am. trying so hard not to give birth and then being unable to do anything but, the pleasure overtaking me as i desperately push and cum my babies out right there, moaning with relief and release as each one spills out of me into my or my partner's hands, able to feel every inch of our babies as they're born because of how sensitive holding them in made me
even better if i tried holding them back with my pants only for it to not matter and for me to push and cum and scream in ecstasy as it only prolongs the birth, not stops it, making the baby stimulate me more until finally, finally it pushes my underwear aside and the baby slips free torturously slowly, every part of it dragging against my abused walls and pussy, only finally being born as i scream and cum, first from the pleasure of birth, and then with relief when it's out
and then triply better if i feel the next baby slide into place as i'm birthing the one before it, so i'm just helplessly pushing, cumming them out back to back, locked in pleasure and unable to stop
September marks the one year anniversary of my one and only completed fic, Deeply Wired! I had the story idea in my head for years, and finally decided to make it into an au where Rose is an android that has a mysterious entity or a virus living inside of her, while the Doctor is a hard-working (if not slightly odd) mechanic.
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Summary: It’s 2904. A mechanician known as the Doctor finds a broken android, Rose, and decides to take it with him and fix it. The two become closer quickly but soon a mysterious virus inside Rose starts acting up and revealing its true capabilities, changing everything.
When Rose’s previous owner comes around and tries to get a hold of the Bad Wolf virus, the two are left with no choice. What lengths will they go to keep Rose away from the evil hands of the Master?
Pairing: Tenth Doctor x android!Rose Tyler (au)
Chapter: 11/11
Rating: T
Wordcount: 1951
Notes: It’s time to say goodbye. This story has been one of my favourite things this whole year, and I couldn’t have made it without you all. I want to thank you for reading this and encouraging me to continue writing. It’s unclear whether this story will branch into a series or not, but for now, this is it. A wild ride, I must say. Special thanks to @wordsintimeandspace, who’s been my beta through this chapter and the whole story. Couldn’t’ve made it without ya, buddy!
Sometimes, it was hard for Rose to let go of the past.
It was easy most of the time. She was with the Doctor now, and he treated her so well. He made sure that Rose knew she was no one’s property and did his best to make her feel at home. And she did. It was easy to forget the years she spent under her Master’s service. The things she did, the way she’d been treated… that was all in a huge contrast to how things were now.
Still, it wasn’t always as easy to escape the haunting memories, the patterns she’d learnt. She could sense the Doctor’s feelings about the matter. Every time she slipped and forgot that she didn’t actually need to serve him, he got upset. He always tried his best to conceal it, but it was no use: she always noticed. And it made her feel like she’d failed him.
So it wasn’t always easy. But she kept trying.
The Doctor told Rose many things from her past and it was confusing because it was like a big hole in her mind that had never actually been there. He told her about their time together and how kind and brave she had been. He told her everything, even when it felt like too much, so much her head would explode. There was no secrets. For some reason he was hellbent on not keeping anything from her. It was nice, but still… she felt empty. The woman he described didn’t sound like her. She just thought the Doctor missed Rose. The other Rose, the one that was gone now. The kind and brave one, not her, the withdrawn and submissive one. She could never fill her shoes, she thought. The way the Doctor looked at her when he told her about the Rose he’d known… she wasn’t here anymore. And it made Rose feel like a failure. She knew the Doctor didn’t mean to make her feel like that, but he did. And it hurt. But she let it hurt because she knew the Doctor was still mourning for what he’d lost for good.
One day the Doctor told Rose about the Bad Wolf. Rose listened to him talk, trying to comprehend everything. It sounded so bizarre, yet she knew, deep in her programming, that he was speaking the truth. She knew it because she could feel something missing, something so small you wouldn’t notice it without looking but that you couldn’t forget after finding it. She almost felt powerless without that soothing, comforting presence in the back of her mind.
It was a Tuesday. There was snow on the ground. The dry autumn leaves were frozen solid, glittering under the cold winter sun. The Doctor was outside plowing snow.
“Rose!” the Doctor called gleefully as he entered the workshop. Rose was inside the workshop, sitting in the corner with a dull expression on her face. She heard him shout, but she ignored him. It was too much.
“Rose!” the Doctor called again, thinking she hadn’t heard him. He was taking his shoes and his coat off, from the sound of it.
“...Rose?” The voice was closer now. There was a pause before he continued, this time clearly from behind her. She wouldn’t look at him. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah,” Rose mumbled. Another pause.
“...Why didn’t you answer, then?”
“Because I’m not Rose.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” he asked at once. “Of course you’re Rose,” the Doctor claimed, baffled. He didn’t get it. Why would he? She shook her head quietly, closing her eyes.
“I’m not her. I’m a RO-53_84DW01F22092899, not the Rose you’ve been telling me all about. She is gone, Doctor.” Her words were met by a dead silence. Rose didn’t dare to turn around to face him.
“I… why are you saying this? Of course you’re her, just because you don’t remember it doesn’t mean that–”
“But it does!” Rose interrupted, more force behind her words than she could ever remember using. It almost frightened her. “I don’t recognise myself in those stories. I don’t remember all those things. I believe that they happened, but… but she is the one you miss, not me. When you look at me you see her, not me. I’m not her. If anything… I’m less than I ever was. I’m missing a part of myself.” Her words came out bitter. Not enough to sound accusing, but enough to make the Doctor take a step back. He clearly didn’t understand. Rose buried her face in her knees, fighting to keep the tear reflex from kicking in. Many people didn’t think androids were capable of crying, but those people couldn’t tell the difference between an android and a machine. Her kind was good at hiding the tears, and she didn’t want the Doctor to see. He would get upset too, more than he already was. Oh, she’d screwed up. She should’ve just been better, healed faster, connect with the stories more. Yet she hadn’t, and she was left feeling like a consolation prize. Not good enough for the Doctor who had tried to make her feel like she owed him nothing, who had taught her all these wonderful things about being free.
Truth was, though, Rose struggled with the concept sometimes. All her life she’d been under someone’s possession. She’d lived her first months in the factory before being transferred into an outlet where she’d been bought by her Master, Saxon. She had always dreamed of freedom secretly, she’d even rebelled from time to time before she’d learned it only made things worse. But now she was supposedly free to do whatever she wanted. No one was telling her to do anything. And even though it was the most wonderful thing, it was also new and weird, almost frightening. And the Doctor didn’t understand that.
How could he? He’d never been through what she had. He never asked or pushed her to talk about it, thank god. But now, after living with him for a while, she wouldn’t even mind that much. He just wanted to help her, but he was only making things worse for her. And she felt so much guilt for that.
“Rose, I…” the Doctor’s voice sounded odd. Without even looking she knew how upset he was. Without finishing the sentence, the Doctor just breathed in deeply and left the room, leaving Rose alone.
Breaking down, Rose let the tears spill over while hitting her forehead against the wall punishingly, weeping into her own empty arms.
--------------------------
The moment the Doctor realised he could save Rose had been one of the best moments of his whole life. He’d been so desperate to bring her back that it hadn’t even mattered what the consequences were. When Rose had woken up, devoid of all her memories of their time together, it had hurt. But it had also been a moment of pure joy for him. He’d got her back. He could fix everything as long as she was at his side. Now, though…
He hadn’t expected Rose’s outburst. He thought they had been making good progress. Sure, Rose was different. She was more timid, hesitant to share her opinions. The only times he saw glimpses of her full personality was when she got excited or comfortable enough to forget all the obstacles in her mind that held her back. But she was more comfortable around him than she used to be. He knew it must’ve been hard, learning to be independent and letting go of the past, but he didn’t know what he was doing wrong. He’d never tried to pressure her into talking when she didn’t want to. He’d treated her with respect and care. He’d told her everything this time around, he hadn’t left secrets untold. Well, except one secret. The most important one, perhaps, but one he couldn’t tell her just yet in the fear of making her uncomfortable.
‘You love her,’ a compassionate voice inside his head resonated. The Doctor sighed, shaking his head. He did. He loved her so much. But he was doing something wrong. Somehow, he’d made Rose feel like she was competing with herself, like she wasn’t the real her.
Maybe… maybe she’d been right. Maybe she wasn’t actually the Rose he’d known. He’d been selfish, he realised, pushing his own agenda on Rose to make her… what, exactly? Be like herself again?
Suddenly, the Doctor realised where he’d been going so wrong. God, he was such an idiot.
--------------------------
“Rose?”
The android was startled by the Doctor’s sudden presence. She bit her lip, bowing her head.
“Yeah?”
“You were right. I’m sorry,” the Doctor said, much to Rose’s surprise. She felt him sit beside her. He didn’t wait for Rose to look at him before continuing. “I’ve been a complete prick. Can you accept my apology?” Rose frowned, her hands fidgeting on her lap.
“For what?”
“For being stupid,” the Doctor said. “You were right.”
“About not being her?” she asked, feeling her stomach knot.
“Yeah. You’re not her. But you’re you. And you’re all I want,” he told. Rose’s felt almost dizzy. She hadn’t been expecting that.
“Yeah, well, I…” she began, not knowing how to answer.
“I know you don’t believe me,” the Doctor cut in, understanding. “And that’s okay. But I want you to know that you are enough. I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish.” Rose slowly turned around to look at the Doctor. His expression was gentle. How could he be so nice to her? Rose tried hard to keep her face from crumbling.
“Were you and her…?” she asked. The Doctor smiled sadly.
“Yes. Or… it was complicated. But I left that out for a reason. I didn’t want you to feel like you owed me anything. Rose, I… I don’t care about that now. All I care about is you being happy.” The sincerity in his words made Rose’s face turn red. She was unsure of what to say. He was being so… nice. Why?
“‘S not that I don’t, y’know…” Rose mumbled, troubled. “‘S not that I don’t feel that way. I just felt like… Like you’re pining after someone else. ‘Cept that someone else is me, and… It’s just weird, yeah?” Rose looked up at the Doctor, seeing him smiling softly. “Watcha smiling at?” she asked, frowning. He laughed.
“Nothing. Just… you sounded just like yourself right then,” the Doctor said. “I know that you can’t just forget your past and I don’t think you should. I’ll never push you to tell me about it if you don’t want to. What I wish I can do in the future, though… is to get to know the real you. If you want.” Rose could almost sense how nervous the Doctor was, how hard it was for him to say these words. If Rose had learned one thing about the Doctor from the short time they’d spent together, it was that he was willing to go far out of his comfort zone to ensure her well-being. It was heartwarming. Rose smiled sheepishly, her hand inching towards the Doctor’s.
“I think I’d like that,” she finally answered.
“...Yeah?” Rose felt the Doctor’s warm hand touch hers on the hard surface of the bench.
“Yes. And Doctor?”
“Mmhm?”
“I wish to get to know the real you, too.” At her words, the Doctor’s face lit up in the most adorable way. He beamed at her excitedly, making Rose tuck her head to hide her answering smile. Hands now entwined, the Doctor grinned, his freckled cheeks glowing.
I got tagged by @aneclipsedhabitue! Thanks so much, friend! <3
I do have to tweak this a bit, since I have only one story I’ve written and finished this year.
Total number of completed stories: 1 (plus all the super short prompt drabbles I wrote for @faithluvscabadre in private
Total word count: 30 833
Fandoms written in / plan to write in:
Doctor x Rose & Fem!Doctor x Rose, includes Space Wives aka 13 x Rose
Teninch pairings, such as Hannah x Hardy
Badger x Fox (Foxtrot)
Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?: I never expected I’d write fanfic at all, even though I have many ideas and my Deeply Wired android!au has been on my mind for eternity.
What’s your own favorite story of the year?:
Don’t have anything to choose from, but I actually really liked the only story I wrote. Deeply Wired was my brainchild <3
Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?: I plan to at least get a few chapters out of Better With You, my Fem!Nine x Rose series one rewrite. Another goal is to get out fic art for some of your wonderful fanfics <3
And maybe get some teninch drabbles out?
Best story of the year?: Deeply Wired! Like art? Every chapter has its own, individual piece... ;)
Most popular story of the year?: Deeply Wired, by 110+ kudos and 1595 hits!
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: @dimensionhoppingrose‘s writing! I love everything, every single thing she writes! Show her some love, Sam is the mostest wonderfullest!!!
Story with the single sexiest moment: I don’t do nsfw stuff, at least not for the time being. Well... we’ll have to see if I’ll get anything at least a bit warm in in the future...
Sweetest story: Deeply Wired. Pretty sweet all the way, if you can take the cliffies and hurt/comfort. For a fluffiest chapter of the bunch, I’d go for
”Holy crap, thats wrong, even for you!” story scene: In Deeply Wired, since it’s my only completed story so far.
Has to be all the painful cliffies. The faithful readers of that story will know what I’m referring to. They suffered with me :D
Especially chapter 8 of the bunch. I’m truly sorry xD
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters & most unintentionally telling story: Not my own stories, but yours. Mostly you’ve made me like Hardy as long as he’s head over the heels for Hannah xD
Biggest disappointment: Never planning out or finishing my werewolf!au. Lol, most of you have no idea what I’m talking about, and it’s really good you don’t. Don’t go digging for it, lol...
Biggest surprise: That Deeply Wired got actual attention??? By people??? I’m not a writer, I just have ideas. And you guys actually loved my idea of the android!rose??? And the universe I crafted around them? I’m honestly so honored and baffled by that. It was my first real fanfic, and super personal project to me? I’m just so thankful. So thankful. And taken by surprise.
And I even had @megabadbunny create art for the fic!! Aaaaaaa *click*
Summary: It’s 2904. A mechanician known as the Doctor finds a broken android, Rose, and decides to take it with him and fix it. The two become closer quickly but soon a mysterious virus inside Rose starts acting up and revealing its true capabilities, changing everything.
When Rose’s previous owner comes around and tries to get a hold of the Bad Wolf virus, the two are left with no choice. What lengths will they go to keep Rose away from the evil hands of the Master?
Pairing: Tenth Doctor x android!Rose Tyler (au setting)
Chapter: 1/?
Rating: T
Wordcount: 1183
Notes: This is my second attempt at fic writing. As some of you might know, I’m really into the android!au I’ve had around for some time. I have a full story planned, but I’m doing a test chapter of sorts to see if people are interested at all in this sort of thing. More will come if this catches off ~
Also a huge thanks to @wordsintimeandspace for being the beta for this chapter, she really helped me make this thing readable. Huzzah!
————————–
It wasn’t until the Doctor couldn’t see his surroundings properly that he realised how truly late it was. And when it was getting too dark to see, even an idiot knew what to do: stay out of the streets.
The Doctor wasn’t planning on getting robbed by a bunch of delinquents just because he’d forgotten the time while collecting spare parts in the scrapyard.
Rushing through the sea of mechanical parts and rusting pipes, something light caught the Doctor’s attention. Upon taking a closer look the light object turned out to be a limb, an arm to be precise.
The arm wasn’t alone either, he quickly noticed. Another similar looking arm and, more shockingly, a whole leg, were lying around in just a five feet radius.
The parts looked human, which would’ve been rather alarming, but the Doctor quickly realised that wasn’t the case. A wave of pure anger struck him as he realised the parts belonged to an android instead.
Following the trail of broken parts, the Doctor quickly found a lifeless torso of a female android, eyes empty and hollow. Kneeling, the Doctor examined the damaged AI.
“Who has left you here all alone?” the Doctor murmured to himself, brushing back the android’s dirty blonde hair to read its model number.
RO-53. A model that was already outdated and replaced by its successor, RO-54. A common service unit. It was already bad enough that someone had just… abandoned this life form in a scrapyard like a piece of trash, but to make the matters worse, that someone had clearly ripped off the android’s limbs as well.
The Doctor couldn’t say he was surprised, really; the AI were widely seen as lesser life forms around the city and many people thought all they were good for was humankind’s dirty work. It still angered him, though. These modern androids were so well-evolved that they were capable of writing their own code and personality. They belonged alongside people, not… not in some dirty scrapyard. Especially this RO-53 unit. As far as he could see there was nothing wrong with it. That is, if someone hadn’t torn it to pieces.
“Let’s take you home, shall we?” The Doctor smiled sadly at the android, picking up the torso and limbs one by one. The Doctor couldn’t find the RO-53’s right leg, but he was positive he could craft one at his workshop.
--------------------------
Usually fixing and tinkering with these sort of things took the Doctor only a day: he was rather brilliant, after all. Fixing this particular android turned out to be harder than he had anticipated, though.
He began by running a scan on the android, confirming that the insides weren’t badly damaged. However, things started slowing down when the Doctor connected RO-53 to his computer and ran another scan on her. He found small anomalies encoded into her system. All the memory data had been manually cleared out of the android’s chip, too. There was absolutely no indication of the AI’s previous owner, but the Doctor was ready to bet his money that it was them who had wiped out the memory data in order to stay untraceable. The thought made the Doctor frown in disgust.
He absolutely hated how selfish the humankind could be.
The next day the Doctor reconnected RO-53’s limbs to its body and repaired the outdated energy circuits, some which were poking out from under its shell. The android’s skin was soft and human looking, yet darker patches of stringy looking material kept the Doctor from mistaking her as human. He thought RO-53 looked absolutely beautiful. She might’ve been an older model, but the Doctor still admired the detail put into the android. It was astonishing, to say the least.
--------------------------
It was three days later when the Doctor finally finished fixing the RO-53 unit.
Now there was only one step left and that was rebooting the android’s system. Then – if the Doctor had done is work right – she would wake up and be fully functional. He hoped the small anomalies in the android’s coding wouldn’t be anything preventing it from working properly. They hadn’t been removable, after all. The Doctor smiled despite himself. It was time to wake her up.
A long, high noise emitted from the android as the Doctor restored its power. Silence fell after that. The Doctor held his breath, waiting for something to happen.
The android didn’t move.
Then, suddenly: “Restarting: artificial cooling system. Powering the system.”
The Doctor’s eyes lit up. It was working! The android… no, she, she was working!
The Doctor followed the android’s reawakening with excitement and curiosity. Soon, the AI’s eyes fluttered open, revealing a pair of whiskey brown, confused eyes. They looked hauntingly real. The Doctor found himself unable to look away.
There was a silence as the Doctor waited for the android to gather her surroundings. Finally, her eyes settled on the Doctor, just staring with open curiosity. The Doctor couldn’t hold back a goofy smile.
“Hullo there,” he greeted gently. The RO-53 continued to stare at him, silent yet listening.
“…Hello.” The android’s voice was young but tentative in tone. She was clearly disoriented. The Doctor didn’t blame her. She was, after all, devoid of all her memory data. There was nothing to grasp onto.
“I’m the Doctor—”
“Hello, Doctor,” the android replied before he could finish, then falling silent. “…Sorry. That was hello twice,” she noted. The Doctor laughed in a good-natured manner.
“No need to apologise. What I was saying was that I’m the Doctor. As in, that’s my name, not my profession. I’m a human and a mechanician.” RO-53 nodded, looking out of place.
“You must be confused, and that’s because you are suffering from a memory loss of sorts. But it’s okay, I’m a friend,” the Doctor assured, and something in the android’s eyes shifted. The uncertainty and hint of fear the Doctor had detected earlier were gone. She absolutely fascinated the Doctor.
“What’s my name?” the android asked, curious. Her head tilted a bit to the side.
“...Your name?” the Doctor deadpanned.
“Yes, my name. All humans have names, don’t they? So, what’s mine?” she inquired, stopping the Doctor dead in his tracks.
She thinks she’s human.
“I, uh…” RO-53. That was a bit of an impersonal name. He couldn’t tell her that.
“…It’s Rose. Your name is Rose,” he slipped before he could think twice.
The android’s eyes widened in a curious manner and a smile tugged her lips. “Rose? Yes, that’s it. I’m Rose,” she concluded.
“Wait, no, actually—,” the Doctor started. She wasn’t human. He shouldn’t mislead her like that. But then he glanced into the android’s eyes and found himself unable to correct her. It was a cruel world out there. Androids weren’t treated well. He… he couldn’t just… He wanted to protect this AI from that. Maybe if he just…
“—that’s right. I’m the Doctor and you are Rose, my good friend. Yup, that’s it!”
Rose smiled wide and the Doctor smiled back, knowing he’d made a mistake.
