#circusdagger

[bestia-domitor]

"… but I love you."

”——what?”

[m-a-d-scarecrow]

{+2} circusdagger & agodoflove

            ⊰♦⊱-:: The fortune teller was shocked! More customers? Where were they all coming from? ----Oh, this was marvelous! Truly wonderful! Why, just last week this place was nothing but a ghost town, and now, look at them! One after another~

"Welcome~!! Good day, are you interested in having your fortune told? ...Hmn??"

[jokesandjugglingballs-archive]

Joker is slowly dying of a terminal illness that Doc determined a few months back and he hasn't got long left. He's in more and more pain each and every day.

Joker’s health had rapidly declined over the space of a single month but went vastly unnoticed until the Ginger male collapsed unexpectedly during practice one winters evening. Doc had struggled to wake him and once he was, the juggler had been bombarded with many a medical test to try and discover what had caused his blackout. He was briefly allowed back to work while the tests processed but it didn’t take long for it to happen again.

From then on, Joker wasn’t allowed to leave his bed in his tent until he Doc came up with a diagnosis, or so everyone hoped for.

After a night of constant achy pain and vomiting, Doc privately announced to Joker what was wrong. Over the years, the abuse on his body from the Baron as well as his work, childhood happenings and whatever else that had happened in his young life so far had really taken its toll on the ringmaster and his immune system had finally given in. Now he had the task of breaking the news to those he loved so dearly.

Beast sobbed for hours at his bedside, repeating the phrase ‘terminal illness’ over and over until it truly sank in. Everyone had been lighthearted about Joker being ill, since he often was but nothing could have prepared them for this…. There was no cure… and the hardest thing for them all to accept was the fact their dearest Joker wasn’t going to get better… not this time… he was only going to gradually get worse until his end.

The juggler carried on as normal for a few weeks, but it was a short time after that he began to notice things such as his strength failing him and the inability to withstand strong lights for an extended amount if time. It was then that the hard decision was made to retire the young man and allow Dagger to take his place as the master of the ring.

This sent the make into a downwards spiral of depression and he attempted to take his own life; but Beast had caught him before it was too late, determined to preserve him for as long as she could; too afraid of letting him go.

A few, short months passed and Joker drastically declined in health; losing almost all of his muscle mass and looking like a homeless teen. His ribcage could be seen and his bones were poking out of his skin; the weight having simply fallen from his once future and healthy frame. His eyes were bruised and sunken, pale face gaunt and constantly pasted with an expression of pain.

Doc had long given up, the painkillers doing nothing to make Joker more comfortable. Beast had done no such thing; she tended to the man she so strongly loved every night by cooling his face with a damp cloth and brushing his hair. She even did his makup for him so he at least felt a little more like himself. He also declined visiting offers from the other first tier members, him not wanting them to see him now… but to remember him how he was; but they still protested about wanting to say a proper goodbye. Joker hated goodbyes. He declined.

One blisteringly cold winters evening, Beast was knelt by the gingers bedside, caressing his cheek and humming a song when he woke. With bleary eyes he looked up at her and softly began to cry. She was quick to shush him, kissing his forehead and stroking his hair away from his faded violet eyes.

Softly, she manoeuvred his delicate frame so she too was on the bed, but cradling him to her almost like a child: wrapping him in hid blanket, right up to his chin.

"I wish I had told you sooner…" The once ringmaster spoke breathlessly, obviously in a lot of pain and discomfort.

"Told me what, sweetheart?" The animal tamer asked, still caressing one of his cheeks.

"That I love you… but now its too late…" His voice was a genuinely pained whimper.

Beasts eyes immediately filled with tears and she had to bury her face in her beloved gingers neck to hide such an emotion, listening to him as he carried on speaking. “You’ll tell the others I love them, right?…And that I want them to remember me as I was… not as I am now…” Beast could only nod, her voice failing her.

"I love you, Joker… I always have… And now youre being stolen from me before we even had the chance of having a life together and it just isnt fair! " She continuously rocked him as she cried; "Its not fair, Joker… we could have had our own family! A real one! And gotten away from the circus with the other first tier members and just escaped… and all havd been happy and free… but there is no way I can do all of that without you there… You’re strong, Joker…. you can pull through this…" She kissed his forehead again, trying to stint her tears.

He was looking up at her with pure adoration and love in his eyes, though it was soon drowned out with pain as he whinped and whined in agony. It was then she realised it was simply cruel to keep him clinging on to a quality of life that was simply torture… she had to let him go…

"J-Joker… y-you can go now… if…if you want to…" Her sobbing was now much heavier: "I dont want you to be in pain any more… I love you so much… and I don’t want you to ever go… but I don’t want you in pain, either… so… s-so you go whenever you’re ready, sweetheart… and know I will always, always love you…"

He gave her a small, but bright and genuine smile; one she had missed seeing from him and it truly warmed her breaking heart.

Beast cradled her Joker close to her, pausing in her rocking to press a gentle kiss to his pale, chapped lips. It filled her with a sense of pure love and longing… but when she pulled away, her juggler was still, and when a breath left his body…he didn’t draw another one in.

His eyes were staring lifelessly up at her and she spent a few long moments in denial before accepting he was gone: softly closing and kissing each of his eyelids. Her heart was shattered, and she could do nothing mord but cling to his body and cry for hours; until Doc came to see what the upset was, and later announced Jokers passing to the rest of the circus. They cancelled that weeks upcoming shows to mourn, and Beast chose never to appear in one again.

Instead, she would sit among Jokers things, in his tent of which they still set up everytine they moved location, and cried; wrapped in his clothes, his memories surrounding her. She often went to the orchard the Baron owned, walking along the trees towards the cherry blossom, and under those was her lovers final resting place. A white grave stone with ‘JOKER’ carved into it, along wuth his birth and death dates. She would sit there most of the day, covering the small grave-site with flowers and chatted away to him as if he were there right beside her. And he was. Even in death, the juggler watched over those who he loved; until they joined him in the unknown that was the afterlife.

[jokesandjugglingballs-archive]

Beast has gone. She's moved from the circus because she couldn't stand being around you any more; you never returned her feelings, never listened to her. She left in anger. She's never coming back and everyone at the circus is blaming you. They all despise you now. You're not needed any more. Nobody wants you.

Joker said nothing, he simply sat in silence on the floor of his tent, juggling a few knives in his hands, not paying much attention. He dropped them all, picking up the smallest knife as tears slipped down his cheeks; smudging his makeup in the process so it streaked in the same manner as the tears. 

"I'm sorry..." He murmured to himself; "I didn' mean to... I didn'... I only ever wanted t' protect yer' all..." He sobbed, not bothering to clear his vision of tears. He went to turn around to check no-one was coming but.... why would they? If they all  hated him so much?

He released another sob, taking the knife, in his skeletal hand, to his wrist and quickly running it along the vein so the thick liquid began running out. The ginger lay himself down onto his chest, arm outstretched in front of him.

He didn't care if he was found in time, nor did he care if he wasn't.

He was numb.

[jokesandjugglingballs-archive]

Beast and Dagger are gonna have a baby together!

O-oh... T-tha's..... tha's nice for 'em... I guess...yeah... congrats, I....I spose....

[theyoungwordsmith-blog]

✒ Welcome;

notagrimreaper

circusdagger

retirer-tueur

A little uncomfortable amongst the small crowd, Arthur gave the newcomers a watery grin that he hoped didn't belie his nervousness too much. He raised one hand in a wave, shirtsleeve pushed up from working. 

"Good evening," he said warmly, if not a little anxiously. "Pardon my sloppiness, I'm not quite used to mingling."

[violaceus-stolas]

put own url here (*/ω＼*)

[ -waves- I like your current thread with gardener-finnian — it’s adorable. Dagger and Finnian play quite well together. Muse is a favourite character to stalk follow because of the precision the mun gives to personality and contextual details which I think are especially delightful e.g. accents and little differences when interacting with different characters. Cute cute!

(Mun also has an interesting faceclaim…) ]

[violaceus-stolas]

✉

Send me a ✉ for a kiss.

It took mere seconds for him to shrug off his reserve like a second skin. Gregory almost smirked as he held Dagger in place by placing his hands firmly on his shoulders, before purposefully pressing his lips to his.