#cjmm

[mikeyxjimenez]

💜💜💜💜💜

[soypurematchalatte]

#stitch with @iceicebaby FOR REAL yung last part talaga hahaha. #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #brunomarschallenge #waitforend #forreal #forrealcha

I saw this video on Tiktok, it made me laugh real hard early in the morning, but after a while I ended up reminiscing.

It was December 2016, we've been together for two years already, it was the time when I already gave in, but the saddest part, we're actually facing some issues during that time, I was hoping that we could still fix all the mess, so I ended up giving to the man I love my virginity. But does this thing really able to fix our slowly failing relationship? Well, after that, the relationship went well, but after a while, it seems like our relationship were just revolving in it. Later on, I've decided to break up with him, but we kept on coming back to each others arm, there's a time when I've told him that we shouldn't do it and told him why, He then agreed. So far, relationship doing great, but after months, there comes another issue, girl involvement again. I got to the point where I could only feel real toxicity towards our relationship, I stopped tolerating that kind of attitude the moment I realized self love is the most important kind of love than being in a toxic relationship, and I've slapped my face that I don't deserve that kind of treatment, also, we're no longer kids eh, so to make the long story short, after six years of being lovers, we stopped talking to each other lol

[soypurematchalatte]

I wanna see you, and hug you, and cry as if there's no tomorrow. I'm really hurt. And you're the only one who knew about this shit.

[soypurematchalatte]

It's been months, I thought I'm okay without you  by my side, all this time, but little did I know, I'm just lying and forcing myself to be okay.

Funny how being harsh on you has been my self defense mechanism to not miss you. Sorry for being extra harsh whenever I'm talking to you about some matter, but can that be the other way of saying I miss you please meet me? But hey, I forgot, you don't want it that way.

I remember, I got sick and during those sickling days, me being paranoid since being sick at this time sucks and literally scary, I got no one to cry to and that drives me sane even more! Funny that whenever I'm taking too much exposed skin photo, I'll delete it after I scanned it on my gallery coz you'll probably get mad if I told you about it or you saw it on my gallery. Whenever I'm having anxiety episodes and panic attacks, you're always my go to, now guess who? It's ice bear! I said to myself, I shouldn't use ice bear and I should keep him already since you don't want me to give it back to you. My trauma's getting worse day by day. Whenever I'm bored, I'm being grumpy lol because I don't have you to take away my boredom, I cook/bake sometimes, and somehow made me sad because I wasn't able to give you some. I wanna share a lot, but opt to just keep it to myself only.

So yeah, 6 years with tons of happy moments, uncountable fights, challenges, or just wanna say, we've been together through the highs and lows, funny thing is that this COVID 19 crisis parted our ways.

[soypurematchalatte]

After months, finally got a response from ex. There's this line from his message "I'm limiting my phone usage kasi hindi madaling kalimutan ka" wow, really? Want me to spill those moment na kinalimutan mong may girlfriend ka just to flirt with other girl? Pwe!

[soypurematchalatte]

Ilang weeks na rin akong stressed talaga, kasi kinukuha ko na yung pera ko kay ex kasi may pag gagamitan ako na importanteng bagay, first attempt ko na kunin yun last month, ishoshoulder ko na sana one month maintenance ng Daddy kasi syempre hirap ng buhay ngayon medyo mahina business, tapos medyo laki ng bills kuryente tubig cable etc, and super mahal pa ng gamot sa CA, tapos isang hingi ng reseta sa doctor eh 500 pesos agad, medyo mahaba na rin listahan ko sa hospital lol, nakakahiya na pero natatakot pa kasi ako pumunta sa mga hospital kaya sabi ko isang bayaran nalang after all this crisis, second attempt ko eto, last week ko pa sya ini memessage, humirit kasi saken pamangkin ko na bilhan ko sya ng gadget para magamit nya sa online classes, pumayag naman ako kasi she graduated elementary with honors, consistent honor student sya and minsan lang sya mag request as in once in a blue moon lang, and di ko pa rin naman nakukuha pera ko kay ex edi may extra pa sana ko pambili kaso never sya nag reply, mukhang ini blocked nga ata ni ex sa mobile nya yung number ko tapos parang naka ignore message ako sa messenger at ig nya, sa email nya ewan ko pero i also sent him a message doon. I even contacted his sister last night para kamustahin sya kasi di nagrereply sa messages ko at di rin nag riring phone nya kaso ilang weeks na daw hindi umuuwi sknila si ex kasi nakahanap ng bagong work and pinag stay in daw, idk kung he's telling the truth tho and tska medyo may tampuhan silang magkapatid, sinabi rin ng Ate nya sa mommy nila na nangangamusta ko and tutal nag rarant na kami sa isat isa inopen up ko na yung sa pera hehe kahit na ayoko na sana ipasabi sa mommy nila, sinabi pa rin, edi ini message nila kaso kahit sa parents nila hindi nag rereply pero nagtext daw sa mommy nila kanina na di nya alam kung kelan sya makaka uwi, saken wala talaga response. Tapos na stress din ng slight sa isang courier ng online shop ko kasi yung ibang for pick up mag two weeks na andito pa rin di pa rin nakukuha, may pick up nalang ako ulit bukas sa isang courier yung sknila andito pa rin, tapos medyo stress din sa family business hayyyy ewan ko na!!

Sorry sa mahabang rant post, naisip ko lang talaga na baka etong stress ang cause ng delayed monthly visitor ko, 3 days na eh and hindi to normal saken.

[dizzyiceangel]

Ayaw makita.

Ako: By kita tayo bukas ah.

Jules: Ayaw ko nga!!

Ako: Grabe ka naman. Kahit saglit lang!

Jules: Osige, tignan lang kita tapos alis na ako.

Ako: Grabe naman 'to!!

Jules: Ayos na yun kasi buo na araw ko. 😉

Ako: Uyta eh bumabanat ka no!! Pinag-isipan mo yan no?

[dizzyiceangel]

May forever nga ba? 💖

Ako: By may forever ba? (sabay tingin kay Aryanna)

Aryanna: Wala na wooaah!! 👊

Jules: Mayroon pa!! May forever kung ako yung lalaki. 👍

Aryanna: Osige na. Excempted na kayo dun sa walang forever.

Ako: Uyta eh. 😊☺