#clairudient

[caribaezjuarez]

I believe this is true. Is so hurtful being highly sensitive person because people don’t care about you when you care a lot about them. Whenever I have friends, I need them to be down to earth people. I have a lot of positive energy and I don’t need energy vampires spreading their negativity that put me down. Oddly to say, but I am clairaudient, intuitive, and sensitive. 💛🍀❤️

[caribaezjuarez]

I have always put attention in others because I am guessing that is my natural habit. I have the tendency to absorb people’s energies. My mind and energy seems to be very sensitive. I get overwhelmed and exhausted because I am also clairaudient. There are times people come to my mind a lot and I cannot get them out of my head. I try to be gentle and have the sympathy to have good faith in them and think they are nice to me but little I know, not everyone who comes to my mind is nice to me. I am understanding why people come to my mind. Not because they may or may not be thinking of me nice things, but sometimes I am aware why people are coming to my head and most of the time is not for goodness. In other words, I am an empath. 🐳

[caribaezjuarez]

The past experience from high school I did not knew how to recover.

I was recalling some people that bullied me in high school during my freshman year. This person and her group of friends excluded me and they told me to go and look for my own friends.This one person seemed to have something with me. Something like a love and hate feeling for me. Like she had a problem how i was extremely quiet and observant but did not said much, but deep down, I think I felt jealous because they were loud and gregarious. When I was in middle school, this girl was a bystander multiple times in witnessing and listening how I got picked by some other girls bullying me and calling me fat and other ugly names. She never defended me during those dark times, but I thought she was my friend so I followed her during the first days in freshman year of high school before she excluded me. I was holding a grudge because she  excluded me when I thought she was my friend. I really wanted her to say sorry, but deep down, I was hurt to speak up and request her to say sorry to me. She seemed to have lots of ego and seemed to have hidden insecurities of herself. I have researched about this and a person who is self absorbed has a narcissistic behavior. I felt her energy every single day but I didn’t understand why. She was always on my mind. I was so afraid that I thought I was becoming a lesbian. To understand my thoughts, I approached her a few times wanting to talk to her and know why she was in my mind, but she seemed to have a problem with me; she was mean and in a bad mood with me. She made me feel I needed to beg for her attention. Like she thought she was on top of the world and I was a servant waiting for her to point at me and pick me. I am not saying servants and people who are into a status like people imagine a servant is bad, but I did not liked her treatment towards me.

I was quiet and didn’t said much. I retired from her presence feeling humiliated about what I thought and felt.. Sooner or later, in the tenth grade, I did made Asian friends. The group who excluded me befriended my Asian friends as well. But these people who excluded me were self-absorbed and extroverted people, and I am an introvert. Despite of her moodiness and mean attitude towards me, she never got away from my mind even after we graduated high school. I bluntly said to a group of acquaintances, including this person what I wanted to study after high school and her image became stronger in my mind. This was one of the reason and great incentive to get rid of my Facebook account. I do not like blocking people so I felt deleting the whole account was best for me. Facebook was a huge distraction for me especially when you have nothing to do and you are like a doormat scrolling through the app. She was always disturbing me and I could not stopped imagining her. During this time, I felt I was turning lesbian. I felt very anxious. I couldn’t get her out of my head!

I have found out I have clairaudience and makes sense why people comes to my head for no reason. People that know me do not understand why I mean by this empath thing I have. It will be smart to go to the psychiatrist and see what is it but I am sort of tired and shy to speak about this. My intuition is very strong! It could be a good thing I have this, but I need to learn to manage this well. I realized I like who I am. I can be an anxious person due to this clairaudience thing I have, but I can be quiet and calm. No need to copy others for who they are. Be yourself.

there are people who care for me. Long time ago before the Corona virus pandemic hit the entire world, a girl in my worksite bought me food because I worked in the morning shift that time. She was very kind by doing this. I did not tell her this, but I never forget what she did.  It is like I bless her in my mind for her good deed to me.

[caribaezjuarez]

13 Warning Signs Of A Self-Centered and Self-Absorbed Person

Picture this. You have been in a relationship for a few months, and you begin to notice your new boyfriend spends a lot of time talking abou

I have come to an understanding of making friends. I have read some articles about this. It is better to be friends when you want to date someone. I think it is a headache when someone wants to date you because when they break up with you, and they start to think you are bad, etc.

My dad told me recently to always be a decent and good girl because people will judge you no matter how you are dressed or how you make them feel. Your presence and behavior is always judged by what others see.

Personally, I like it when there are couples who study together and do things together. But it doesn’t works well sometimes because one of the people can be possessive and don’t trust well due to the distance. Trust is essential. Technology and texting has a good benefit here. But in my opinion, I wish I could have someone who studies together and we are like best friends. I don’t like the concept of casual romantic dating. I feel that is a waste of time. I prefer someone who is my friend and we can go out. We know we are busy but in some part of the week, we meet or call for a few minutes. That is not an egoistical relationship! I feel casual dating is a bit odd because you don’t share a lot about you due to the fact that People can be dating multiple people when they have you. Casual dating sounds so similar like friends with benefits. you want a real friend who supports you even when you two are not together! And there is the magic of technology and video calls.

I think I had this kind of relationship not long time ago. But he broke up with me. I could hear his indirect words in my head all the time telling me to break up.. break up.. break up.. I realized I am clairaudient. I never had a guy friend this close and the way we communicate with each other, we got along so well. At first he seemed protective and was like my brother and my friend. Those romantic relationships that are like best friends. He bought me things because he asked me to be his girlfriend. In my head, I felt we were friends like I described above: we could be study buddies and have fun making life adventures. I asked him if he is my friend because he asked me to be his girlfriend. One time we were in the mall and his dad saw him buying some gift to me. After this time, the relationship did not turned out well. the look of his dad scared me. I felt he did not liked me. We did not mixed well. Through my clairaudient abilities, I realized I could hear things in my head. I started hearing words I wasn’t experienced with such gold digger. I researched what that word meant, and I feel he thought I was taking advantage of him? Why?

I told this guy about a book I love to read and discuss. (love and responsibility by John Paul ii). The book is religious discussing the types of love. he didn’t seemed interested probably because it talks about purity. I am catholic so I felt the need to do things righteously to date a boy like God intends us to know and trust a person, but he wasn’t religious. I felt we could be best friends but I felt that he thought he had a girlfriend so he wanted to be a boyfriend with other things. Or the most popular guess: he is not religious so he is not sure of what is the love of God? He also didn’t felt nothing for me. He didn’t care. He didn’t liked that I was talking about purity and he may have understood I was against pre marital sex and like kissing in the lips. I researched a little what is a romantic relationship. I did kissed him in the cheek because he was the first boy I was dating and I liked him. Now, I think to myself and he was not patient with me. I also felt I was accepting him no matter if he wasn’t religious because we got along well and we were going to accept each other even if we kid around and we were mean to other but we will be cool with another. I had sympathy to him because we were similar like I thought. I even told my mom he was a nice boy.

I have come to a conclusion: We were not really friends like I imagine to be friends with someone. I wanted to know him as a person. I don’t think I was being egoistical. I wanted us to be patient so we could be friends! But he even said I didn’t had to work because he could give me money. Sounds different so I feel good I didn’t accepted that request. But ever since that day his dad saw him in the store with me, I felt something not too pretty. The guy blamed me for breaking up with him. He said I “hurt” him and insisted he does not likes me. I think he had insecurities in himself. I also feel insecure sometimes, but I hide them. I wanted to teach him about God so we could be like two air pods. I don’t know what do I have but I listen to motivation songs and I deleted Facebook so I will quit seeing things I didn’t liked since that site was popular in my life before. The last time I saw him and he gave me his reason, he broke up with me. I couldn’t fight for the relationship when I knew something was not right and I was not strong to say what I felt. I even think he transferred to another community college. He gave me hints but I also felt it. I let him go. He kept saying goodbye every single time I met with him. But a goodbye like be mean it. Also, he was bullying me doing some other ugly things psychologically that may seem fictional such as evil eye type of thing. The symptoms and signs are not very pretty. I am sure he knows about this but he looks innocent and nice. nobody will believe me about this so I have not spoken about this. I apologized to him by sending him voice messages because he made me believe I did “hurt” him, but he didn’t seemed to care. Through this, I have put my feet in the water experiencing what is love. I learned we were vulnerable to one another but it was fake. He didn’t cared about me. That is why he hurt me to his core. He made fun of my career goals and was mean to me. He was not my friend. He didn’t had love for me. He was about authentic. Surely it is not the love I want someday because I didn’t felt loved.

[caribaezjuarez]

Sometimes you grow numb and you don’t feel nothing yet you want to cry a lot but cannot cry. But people don’t understand you.