Species: Underwater Entity
Relationship Status: Single
Special Abilities: Transformation (human form), water manipulation, unnaturally fast swimmer
Easily embarrassed by anything
Fights a lot for animal rights, his heart cases are whales, seals, and polar bears
Has to be in merman form at least 8 hours a day to not dry out and die
Sleeps in a tank at night to get as many hours done as possible then
Is constantly dripping wet, even in human form, hates it
makes a ton of “fish on land” jokes to cope with being an outsider and having depressive episodes
Cartman, Headless Horseman
Species: Headless Horseman
Sexuailty: Straight (he says, it’s an ongoing storyline okay shh)
Relationship Status: Single
Special Abilities: Removable head, ?
He may only have one real ability but boy does he make the most of it
Takes his head off, puts his body on a treadmill, watches TV while his body suffers working out
Leaves his head in places he can’t be spotted to spy on people
Actually good at school but too lazy
Respects Kyle but will never admit it
The. he has a crush he has the mentality of a five year old who hits his crush to get attention
If his body wanders too far from his head it will just go on autopilot, run into walls, fall down stairs, may get hurt
Once lost his body for three days, no one knows for sure where it went but it sure was nice to be able to just walk away from his stupid head
Kenny, Elemental Mage (former), Animated Corpse
Full Name: Kenneth McCormick
Age: 14 (death) 3 (since revived) 17 in total
Relationship Status: Single
Special Abilities: Lost all mage abilities by death
Died at 14, but was revived just three days later by his necromancer brother, Kevin
Moves ridiculously slowly, talks a bit jagged, but brain functions as well as it did before he died (which is… something, at least)
His left arm tends to fall off, and he tends to forget about it and leave it behind
Doesn’t feel pain, so is always trying something stupid like climbing roofs or touching things he shouldn’t because “Hey, it’s not like I can die again lol guys watch this”
Like can you imagine anything worse than a dumb gang of teen boys with a friend that cannot die (again)
Doesn’t have to eat, but prefers to. The food at the academy is great.
Full Name: Kyle Broflovski
Sexuailty: biromantic asexual
Relationship Status: single
Special Abilities: Fire manipulation, (limited) body transformation, mind control
The one of the boys with the strongest and most dangerous abilities, but also the one who uses them the least
Hates his devil form, especially the horns and the tail
Once lit Cartmans body on fire
He doesn’t talk about it, but when Kenny died he was so beyond devastated that he was the one who got Kevin to revive him, even tough it’s very illegal to do so when underaged and unsupervised
Feels a bit guilt that Kenny didn’t turn out… well, quite as he was
While he usually tells Stan everything, this is just too much, even for his super best friend
Full Name: Leopold Butters Stotch
Relationship Status: In a relationship
Special Abilities: Invisibility, not solid matter, telekinesis
The most cliché ghost, ever
Thinks showing up to class with a sheet over his head is peak comedy
Even better, sheets and some form of accessory, like a hat and/or glasses
Everyone just ignores it now
Goes invisible when embarrassed
Sings “The Addams Family” tune all day, every day
Like, someone snaps twice and everyone is like “Butters???”
Met a girl during summer break and is utterly heartbroken that she goes to a different school, as she is his first girlfriend
Cartman just laughs at him for doing long distance, but Stan and Kenny is super supportive, Kyle is indifferent (a lil’ jealous)