#clarinets why

[talesofthemusicroom]

Caught the September Plague early this year, so I spent a couple of days with all the grade 4-6 classes listening to the 1812 Overture to let them hear the cannons, and then having discussions about it. Each class went a different direction; one class wanted to know more about Tchaikovsky’s life and why he died so young, and then got into a bit of a social justice debate. One class had a really good conversation about what, exactly, makes something an instrument. One class derailed into a pretty detailed breakdown of artillery through the years, but everyone was engaged so why not. And then. AND THEN. THIS happened. In, I may add, the one class in the entire school which includes a student with dwarfism. For when you just need that EXTRA level of “dear god why”.

“Can we fire a midget out of a cannon?!”

I just… I don’t even know some days. Just why?

Aaaaaand in the wacky and wonderful world of band, apparently one of the grade 9 baritones has named her instrument Michael. Sure, why not. The grade 9 clarinets have decided that, since she has to hug it to play it, Michael is her boyfriend. I am choosing not to inquire further. Since one of the clarinets only just got back from summer break yesterday, the rest of them had to “Serve her the Tea”, which appears to be this year’s slang for “gossip like it’s going out of style”. And I can now add “We do not Serve the Tea in band” to the list of odd things I’ve had to say while teaching.

It’s just… been a weird week.

[talesofthemusicroom]

Grade 6 clarinet player, while setting up at the beginning of class: “I don’t want to play today. Band is so boring.”

Me: “What? How can band be boring, look at all this cool music we’ve learned and all the new skills you have!”

Clarinet player: “Yeah, but all we do is play an instrument. We never do anything fun.”

At which point I gratefully took advantage of one of the trumpet players having put their valves back in wrong after oiling, because all that was going through my head was variations on “…wut?” But seriously, guys, apparently I need to advertise harder to the kids that in band you… play instruments? And learn music? I mean, it’s a mystery to me how a kid who has seen the bands perform for three years prior to joining band, AND whose older sisters were both in band (one of them is currently the senior euphonium section leader) came out with that statement…

[talesofthemusicroom]

Pair of grade 7 clarinet players: “Miss S, we got the Harry Potter theme for clarinet! Can we practice at recess?”

Me: “Sure. C’mon in.” *looking at their music* “Why does this note have “Jeff” written over it?”

Kid #1: “Oh. We didn’t know what note that was, so we named it Jeff. There’s another one named Bob.”

Me: “You… named notes you didn’t know Jeff and Bob.”

Kid #2: “Yup! We think this is the fingering for Jeff. Is it?”

Me: “Not quite… how about you consult the fingering chart in your book for the answer to that one?”

Later in the same conversation, after Kid #1 said something I can’t remember, and I made one of my usual mildly sarcastic responses…

Kid #2: “Oooooh snap, Kid #1, you just got insulted by a teacher! That’s so weird, teachers never insult us!”

Me: “What are you talking about, I insult you lot all the time.”

Both: “We know, it’s awesome! That’s why you’re everyone’s favourite teacher, Miss S!”

I’m so pleased my popularity as a teacher is directly tied to how often I gently mock my band students… Although I am actually very pleased that we have the sort of teacher-student relationship that includes heaps of gentle, loving mocking and mild sarcasm going in both directions.