#classic overthinker

[icedcoffeeandsleepdeprivation]

Please. 🥺

[anti-capitalistlesbianwitch]

It’s Very Possible I’m Putting Way Too Much Thought Into This: the story of my damn life

[justanother-girl]

for those of you interested in my personal life (and if you’re my BFF you already know this, i just like to blog about things ;D)

ok so once upon a time I was hanging out with my friend maggie. I tell maggie that at church and a weekly event that I help out and attend, there’s a guy that i think is really cute. maggie then asks who he is, and when i tell her, she says her roommate knows him! I think oh cool. connections are cool. when we arrive to maggie’s house where said roommate is, maggie tells roommate. roommate then without my knowledge texts cute guy, asking if he’s dating anyone and that she has someone he should date. roommate then continues to text him about me until he realizes who I am and that he knows me. I freak out but am also feeling giddy inside, because cute guy seemed interested.

one day, at the weekly event, I arrive early because I grabbed subway on the way for dinner. cute guy comes in early too, and along with a couple others we all sit down at a large table and cute guy sits right next to me. it’s only a big deal because the others sit either across the table or one seat away from me. but cute guy sits right next to me. he then starts really talking to me and is very interested in whatever I am saying. my memory is horrible so I don’t know what we were all talking about but he was very intentionally listening to me and it made me feel really cool. like im interesting and he might like me??

i continue to see cute guy for the next couple weeks at church on sundays and at the weekly events. he seems to be making a point to at least wave or say hello, acknowledging my existence which makes me feel cool and a tad special. I even met his sister and she’s also really cool. i want to be friends with her but i don’t want the motivation to be to get closer to cute guy. I began to be really focusing and constantly thinking about cute guy and I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to be obsessive and i was already letting the possibility of a new relationship just take over my thoughts and mind. I had already planned a trip to minnesota to visit a good friend, and I was also excited to just step away from cute guy situation because space would be good in not thinking about him and a possible dating situation. this was going to be a good trip.

enter blizzard. my flight to minnesota is cancelled and so is my trip. I was bummed for a day, but then i decided to go to the weekly event. at first i didn’t see cute guy, so i was able to focus my mind and thoughts on God. it was so wonderful to not think about cute guy, and I realized just how much he was hindering my relationship with God. I decided to give up my hope that in dating cute guy I would be happy, and refocused my hope on the Lord. 

that night, after weekly event, I stayed late to make new friends. well, cute guy actually was there, with his siblings, and i was invited to go out to eat with them that night. we ate, laughed, talked, and had a great time just getting to know each other, and I also got to know his friends too. he sat right in front of me and at some points actually seemed interested in me.. 

i know this story is so long, and im probably making a big deal out of nothing, or little things, but they are important to me. this is just a tid bit of what goes on inside my brain. I saw him again this morning at church, and I talked more to his sister than him, and there wasn’t a whole lot of conversation between me and cute guy. i don’t know if anything is going to happen but I every time I start to think he doesn’t like me, im not smart enough for him, he thinks im a weirdo, he thinks im a loser, blah blah blah there’s this voice in my head that says wait. I don’t know what I’m waiting for or if im waiting for him to ask me out or if im waiting for something else to happen, but that’s what I hear. it’s crazy and im really excited to see what’s going to happen. im also really annoyed because i hate waiting. 

if you read this far, you’re a champ. i owe you a huge high five and a hug or something! let’s be friends!