The Storm-Tossed Family
"In this present darkness, masculinity is often defined as 'winning' -- whether in terms of sexual conquest or physical domination of another or economic advancement. This is hardly new, but goes all the way back to Lamech's prehistoric song boasting of his many women and the vengeance he enacted on his enemies. A wounded and insecurely held sense of masculinity often becomes a weaponized masculinity, as one seeks to prove one's 'manhood' against all challengers, to 'win' at all costs. And yet, Jesus does not 'win' at all by such a definition. He loses. He does not, though, lose intentionally. 'No one takes it [my life] from me, but I lay it down,' he said (John 10:18). Unlike the fragile masculinity of those who overcompensate with theatrical toughness, Jesus had full confidence in his identity and his future, enough that he could plan to win by losing, by offering himself up for his church. A man who keeps his vows to his wife, who prays with his children, who visits the lonely, who shelters the poor, who serves his church, is more masculine than someone who can outfight everyone in the bar or out-orgasm his fraternity with countless women."
Moore, Russell. The Storm-Tossed Family: How the Cross Reshapes the Home. B & H Publishing, 2018.