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Proximity (Itadori x chubby f!reader)

Word Count: 8.9k.

Tags/warnings: aged up characters, angst, fluff, smut, friends to lovers, protected sex, oral (female receiving).

Summary: due to the insecurities you have regarding your body, it takes you a while to confess your feeling to Yuji, but when you do, you discover how loving your best friend can be and how he can help you lighten the burden you carry with you.

This is an AU in which curses are more of a “normal daily job” to deal with, Shibuya arc and stuff never existed, Sukuna isn’t anywhere to be found, and Yoshino Junpei is still alive and never took the dark path (he’s just mentioned, though).

֍ This is my first angst work and also the first time I write about body-image issues. It's a very personal piece, so I'm sure it won't be relatable to most, but I felt the need to write this and it had a sort of cathartic effect, so I hope it can be of some help to those who are in a similar situation.

I'm not very good with words (says the amateur writer) but I send a big hug to anyone who needs it.

It's an ordinary evening in the apartment you share with your friends. Chatter fills the air and blends with the smell of broth and spices.

After finishing high school, Maki, Nobara, Yuji and you decided to go live together in order to save some money and have more occasions to meet outside of your work as sorcerers. Exorcizing curses every day is tiring, but since the number of them–especially the strong ones–has reduced, your job has almost become a normal one and you now have many chances to cheerfully dine together like you’re doing today.

The four of you are in your yellow kitchen, chattering lively and filling the room with your exclamations and chuckles. You're sitting around a squared table, filled to the brim with tan-men, tako sausage, pickled cabbage, and sauteed yam Itadori bought on his way home.

“And then Kugisaki arrives and goes ‘I’ve just had a hair treatment, we better make it quick!’ and uses her straw doll technique, and the curse's head explodes in a thousand little pieces!” recounts Yuji excitedly between mouthfuls of noodles.

“They do look shinier than usual,” you comment quietly while grazing one of Nobara’s brown hair locks. It’s smooth and soft.

Nobara smiles radiantly and pours some of her beer in your cup as a thank you.

“How did it go with you?” Yuji asks you, but Maki replies in your stead.

“This clumsy baby here almost fell on a curse after stumbling on its tail, but after that, everything went smoothly.” Maki has her usual serious air on, but a smirk peers out of her lips.

Your eyes open wide and your lips part in an attempt to shush your friend, but the only thing you manage to do is to become as red as a tomato. The other two have already started roaring with laughter when you finally manage to release a choked and embarrassed “Maki!”.

“Hahaha! Y/n, you’re always the same,” laughs out Nobara, gently smacking your shoulder the same way they do in anime.

Yuji is splitting his sides laughing and when you meet his gaze he stops suddenly, a trace of worry flickering in his light brown eyes as if he is concerned about having said something wrong. When he sees you smiling kind-heartedly at him, his laugh quickly resumes and soon you follow suit.

"I'm glad my misfortunes make you laugh. At least they are somewhat useful this way," you add in the end as your own laughter makes you tear up.

"Hey, I can't imagine a better way to destabilize an opponent than faking being incompetent," says Maki, and Nobara nods seriously before taking a sip of her beer.

"Jokes aside," says Maki after cleaning some beer foam off her mouth with the back of her wrist, "Y/n has been very good. She even beat me to exorcise a curse I had targeted." She then gets up and starts clearing the table while the other two look at you, surprise on their faces.

"Let me help you," you say, following her and ignoring the looks of your friends. You know that you're not the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, but you have reached a decent level all considered and you manage to help people every day, so you certainly can't complain.

"Maki! Let these two homebodies clean, we have to go!" Exclaims Nobara. She's especially chipper today because Maki finally accepted to go dance with her in her favourite club.

"Yeah, don't worry, I got this," you say, a tender smile on your face as you observe Nobara checking her clothes and hair in the mirror next to the entrance and grabbing Maki by the wrist to finally exit the house. The click-clack of the first girl’s shoes and the slam of the door are the last things you hear before a quiet silence falls upon the room.

You wet the sponge and start cleaning a rounded glass when a hand pops up from behind you with a couple of dishes. "Hey, don't even think of washing all these by yourself," Yuji says, his face unusually close as he places the dishes in the sink.

Your shoulders stiffen and the sponge releases a flow of soap at the tightening of your grip. "It's okay," you reply, "I can do it."

"At least let me dry," the man replies, and when you meet his gaze, his kind eyes strike you, making you unable to deny his wish.

"Okay," you murmur and hand him the glass you've just rinsed.

"Would you like to watch a movie when we're done?" Asks Yuji while drying the glass distractedly as he stares out of the small kitchen window in front of him.

"Sure. Which one?"

"There's a horror movie that I wanted to watch. Junpei suggested it to me. He says it's very cool."

"Are the horrors you see every day not enough for you?" you reply, giggling, and when Yuji turns toward you with a perplexed expression you laugh a bit louder at his unawareness. "The movie is alright. We can watch that."

"Are you sure?" He asks, his brows furrowed.

"I'm sure," you reply with a warm smile and then you hand him another clean glass.

After a while, all the crockeries are clean and shiny, and you both reach the living room. Since the apartment has four single bedrooms that use up all the space, the shared rooms are quite tiny and packed with furniture and knick-knacks. Even the worn out green couch is quite small, big enough to host only two people.

You sit on the couch while Yuji crouches in front of the TV stand, intent on finding the right DVD and inserting it in the disc slot. Now that he's not watching, your eyes are quick to lay on the man's form. As per usual during the Summer, Yuji is wearing an oversized t-shirt– today it's orange–and baggy jeans, a style he's worn since high school and that always gives you a cosy feeling.

You’re thinking about how soft that t-shirt must be when Yuji stands up and throws himself on the couch, making it bounce and causing you to involuntarily lean in his direction, your shoulders touching his briefly before you find your balance once again and sit up straight. "Sorry," you murmur.

Yuji doesn't reply and you think that he probably didn't think much of it. You raise your legs and hug your knees, a vain attempt to shrink a little and occupy less space on the couch. The movie begins, ominous music and darkness take over, but your thoughts are everywhere except on the content of the screen.

It's been a while since Yuji's proximity has started having a strange effect on you. In the beginning, you thought it was just the immense respect you have for him or the fact that you two get along very well, but you slowly realised that there was something more. A reason that is way more tricky.

You like Yuji. A lot.

And it wouldn't maybe be a problem if you weren't a hundred percent sure that he does not feel the same way about you.

How could he? Even now, sitting on this couch, you can't avoid being fully aware of how much space you occupy.

You've never been particularly slim but during high school you started using food as a coping mechanism and, even though your job as a sorcerer has you running around all day, you have some extra weight that really doesn't want to disappear.

You tried dieting, you also tried just accepting yourself for who you are when years of failed attempts had summed up, losing all hope for your body to be a bit closer to your ideal, but you have never managed to do so. You're the worst critic of yourself and sometimes the fact that others don't generally seem to find you as hideous as you do makes you wonder if your head is alright.

You glance briefly and fortuitously at Yuji and get a reminder of how fit he is. You wouldn't be able to say much from the way he dresses, but you've seen him plenty of times come out of the shower without a shirt on, forgetful that he doesn't live by himself, and you know he's not only slim, he’s ripped. How could a guy that is so attractive and so athletic ever like someone like you who looks like a fucking wrinkled potato?

You try not to talk much about this problem of yours because your friends usually don't seem to understand what you're going through. How can they not see that your body shape is a living nightmare? How can they not understand the fits of crying you get whenever you try to buy clothes and don't find anything that fits? That whenever you're in front of the mirror you can't look at yourself without feeling aversion taking over you?

It doesn't help that your ideal shape is the petite woman, which is the furthest thing from what you are. You're not only fat but also quite tall and that means that you can't even wear heels without surpassing in height half of the men in your presence.

And the last thing you want to do is stand out. The last thing you want is for people to notice you and see what a huge mess you are.

Sometimes you remember that you might be exaggerating a little. Just a little. That yeah, some people have called you fat but others have called you cute or even pretty. Sometimes you think that maybe, just maybe, you should give Yuji the chance to decide for himself what he thinks about you.

But you're scared. You're scared you're going to say something and that the answer will be ‘Sorry, y/n, but you're too fat’.

He doesn't really seem the type to say something like that, but you just can't help picturing that scene in your mind.

Yuji moves on the couch, relaxedly stretching his legs out forward, and you get pulled back to reality. You make yourself more comfortable too, loosening your arms’ grip around your knees and letting them fall on the side.

You want to lay your head on him so much. He's literally right here, next to you, cheerful as always, enjoying the movie. And instead of doing the same, you're getting stuck in your head. What would he do if you got closer? Would he pull away? Would he think of it just as a friendly thing?

You see his hands and all you can think of is intertwining your fingers with his. You see his clueless face and you just think of cupping those cheeks with your hands. You see his lips and you feel an irresistible urge to kiss him.

"She should have definitely brought the flashlight with her," Yuji says out of the blue, startling you.

"Uhm?"

Yuji stares at you, a perplexed look on his face. "The flashlight. She had it in her car and left it there even though she's entering a dark tunnel."

"Oh, sure, the flashlight." You try to sound convincing, but you have been so distracted this whole time that your brain takes a minute to actually come back to reality.

"Y/n, you can tell me if you don't like the movie. You know that, right?"

At those words, guilt gets you. Here you are, not watching the movie he so enthusiastically wanted to watch with you.

"No, no, it's fine." You try to reassure him.

Yuji looks back at the screen, but his expression is more serious than usual. "There's no need to push it. I won't get mad if you don't like what I like." Then he grabs the remote control to pause the movie. "Is there anything bothering you?" He has turned to you and his light brown eyes are piercing yours, making you freeze while your breath gets caught in your throat.

You move uncomfortably on the couch. "No, I just… had some things on my mind. That's all. It's not the movie's fault."

"Is it my fault?" Yuji asks after a moment of silence. There's sincere worry in his voice and that makes your heart both warm up in gratitude and grow cold in guilt.

"Of course not, Yuji! Why would you think that?"

The man scratches his head and it's clear he's trying to find the right words. "You've seemed a bit… off, lately," he says, his voice acute in embarrassment.

You look at him, frozen on the spot, terrified at the idea he has realised your feelings, and since you're not replying, he continues.

"Like, we've always been chill with each other, right? But lately, you seem more vigilant around me. Like earlier… I saw you wince when I put the dishes in the sink."

Yuji's voice seems hurt and you mentally hit yourself for paining the most precious person you know without even realising.

"No, Yuji, it's not–"

"Are you afraid of me or something?"

You have no idea how he came to that conclusion but that question shakes you deeply. "No! Why would I be scared? You're the sweetest person I know!"

You start crying and the tears seem to never stop, it doesn't matter how much you want them to. You're unable to talk further as a storm of thoughts fogs your mind.

You expect him to be puzzled, to think you're weird, to wonder if you have PMS, but Yuji leans in and holds you in his arms instead.

You're sobbing, your forehead on his shoulder and your tears wetting the fabric of his Tee, but the only thing Yuji does is hug you tight. He doesn't tell you to not cry, he doesn’t ask questions; he's just here for you.

The fabric of his Tee is as soft as you imagined, maybe even more, and the warmth of Yuji’s body under it adds to the soothing effect he’s having on you right now.

After a minute or so you finally get a hold on yourself and start pulling away, but Yuji's hold on you tightens just enough to stop you. "I want you to know that you can talk to me. I will do my best to help, I promise," and as he says that last word, he releases you from his hold.

You're almost about to cry again, the pure tenderness of his words hitting you deep in your heart.

"Thank you, Yuji. You're a great… you're the best friend I've ever had."

The expression he does next is strangely incomprehensible, but it almost looks like he’s disappointed. "You… you too," he says, uncertain.

You smile weakly, confused but too tired to ponder about it. Your eyes are red from all your crying and your head pounds lightly. You feel so empty. "I'm sorry, but I need to go get some sleep now. You can finish the movie without me, okay?"

Yuji looks at you, his eyes clouded by a hint of sadness, but then he smiles reassuringly. "Of course. Rest well, y/n. I'll see you tomorrow!"

You smile at him one more time and you raise your hand to place it on his shoulder as a thank you, but before reaching him you falter and wave at him shyly instead.

The next day, neither Yuji nor you mention what happened the day before and you both behave normally, except for some quick, vaguely awkward glances you both throw at each other every now and then.

"That sushi was great!" Nobara exclaims as your usual little group walks along a crowded street.

"But I wanted to eat steak…" says Yuji with a pout.

"Next time we'll go eat steak, right Nobara?" You say conciliatorily and giggle when the girl groans a half-frustrated “Okaaaay!” in reply.

"Oh my, look at that!" Nobara exclaims excitedly. You turn and see a pearly white mannequin wearing a bright red bikini decorated with laces. "I need to try that,” she adds. “Come on, we could all buy swimsuits for our upcoming vacation!”

At those words, you panic. You always managed to avoid going to the beach in the previous years, but this time all your friends are pushing you to join them and you don't know how to handle it. Your heartbeat fastens its pace and you already feel yourself starting to sweat.

This is bad. You hate shopping, especially when swimwear or underwear are involved, and you absolutely don’t want to do it in front of your friends… in front of Yuji!

You have no time to reply as Nobara grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the shop, a small fancy place that already has your skin crawling with anxiety.

Looking around, all you can see are very tiny bikinis that leave no space for imagination, and just the idea of wearing one of those is enough to make your head spin.

You try buying time, hoping Nobara will focus on her own purchase, but it's not long before she starts pestering you about it. “Come on, there must be at least one you like. What about this one?” she says while showing you a white bikini that looks like it was cut out to save fabric.

There's no way in hell you're putting that on.

Sadly, as well-intentioned as she is, Nobara can be quite stubborn and she keeps insisting you try something on, so you end up in the dressing room with a yellow bikini that sure is very cute but certainly won't fit you right.

You start to slowly undress and try it on while your eyes mercilessly observe every detail of your body reflecting in the mirror. A sense of uncomfortableness crawls inside you until you feel like you can’t take it anymore.

Enough. I've had enough. I want to get out of here.

You take it off quickly and put your clothes on, your breathing quickening in a mild panic as you rush out of the dressing room, leaving the bikini on the cart and exiting the shop in mere seconds. You need air and you need a refuge. You look around for someplace to hide.

You don't even notice Yuji following you out of the shop when you finally see a small alley and race there as if you're escaping from some beast. Needless to say, the beast is in your head and you can't really escape it this way.

When you're finally alone, you rest your back on one of the walls and bring your hands to your face in an attempt to soothe yourself, hiding from the world at the same time.

“Y/n? What's happening?” Your eyes are closed and covered but there's no doubt that the person talking is Yuji.

You lower your hands and as you open your eyes you see a worried expression two metres from you. “You should go back. I'll join you in a minute,” you breathe out.

“Y/n, talk to me,” says Yuji while coming closer. “I'm your best friend, right?” His voice is calm and sweet and he's now just one metre away from you, looking at you attentively.

You sigh, feeling defeated. “I'm sorry. I'm making such a big fuss over nothing.”

“I'm sure it’s not nothing if it makes you feel this way,” he replies, his tone hushed and supporting.

“It's just–” you stop mid-sentence as tears start flowing down your cheeks.

After some hesitation, you feel that if you keep bottling your feelings up you're going to explode, so you start talking.

You tell Yuji about how you hate your body. You tell him about all the things you don't feel like doing because of it. The beach, the pool, the club, those are all places you don't go to because of your own insecurities.

You also tell him about your experiences, of that ex who dumped you because you gained weight, of that girl who called you fat-ass out of nowhere, of all those boys who mocked you because you weren’t as pretty and slim as your classmates.

You tell him all this while crying, mad at yourself for your inability to stop shedding tears, mad at yourself for your weakness, mad at yourself because it's about time you find a way to deal with this.

When you're done talking, exhaustion falls over you and you stay there with your fingers fumbling with the strap of your bag.

“I had no idea,” Yuji’s voice is deep with sorrow. His eyes are stuck on the ground and he is clearly trying to wrap his head around all the things you have just told him. “I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this, and still do. I can’t say I really understand it… I… I don't even consider you… you know… fat.”

Yuji looks up and sees your eyebrows furrowed in perplexion. “I mean, if they asked me to describe you, that wouldn’t even make it to the list of the things I have to say about you.”

A grateful smile blooms on your face. Yuji is so sweet, caring and nonjudgmental. He's exactly how you should be with yourself.

You stay silent for a while, enjoying the warm feeling of being accepted as you are, of not being perceived just by your outer appearance. Then a spark of curiosity rises in you. “And what would you say about me?”

Your question startles Yuji, who briefly looks at you with wide eyes before averting his gaze. “Well, you're smart, you're loyal, you're fun, you're a good sorcerer, you have a good eye for details, you're a bit clumsy but that's good cause it's hilarious…” his voice is getting weaker and weaker, almost a mumble, his hands moving restlessly as he talks. “And you're beautiful.”

That last word brings you back from the trance of tenderness you’ve been lulled with until now. “I’m what?” you ask with a strangled voice.

Yuji raises his gaze and makes a step forward. “You're beautiful, y/n.”

It must take everything in him to not lower his gaze and you would notice that if you weren't busy with your own mind basically imploding on itself.

Beautiful. He’s just saying it to cheer me up, right? You look at his face and see a faint blush tinting his cheeks. Is he embarrassed? Would a friend cheering another one be? He’s just trying to comfort me, right?

“Yuji, I…” words struggle to come out of your mouth. You feel your throat tightening as if a ghostly hand is vehemently gripping at it and all your focus is on Yuji and the loud beating of your heart in your chest.

“Here you are!” Maki exclaims.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” Nobara asks.

Yuji, who had turned toward them as you did, briefly turns back at you and murmurs, “I just wanted you to know,” before walking away and joining your friends.

The two girls try to discover what the two of you were doing for at least half of the walk home, but you both dodge their questions, saying you were just trying to find some refuge from the hot sun.

You're not ready to tell them. It's already a miracle you told Yuji. Maybe one day you can share this burden with Maki and Nobara too.

When you finally get home, you tell your friends that you’re tired and go rest in your room. Letting your body fall on the bed, you fix your gaze to the white ceiling. It wasn’t a confession, was it?

You can’t sleep. It doesn’t matter if your eyelids are droopy, it doesn’t matter if your thoughts flow slowly and disorganized, you can’t fall asleep. After turning over and over in your bed, you decide to take a walk to try getting rid of some of this agitated energy that is jamming your body.

There’s a park not far from the apartment, a small green area filled with trees, bushes and a couple of benches. You’ve already gone there on some sleepless nights in the past. You change from your pyjamas into some comfortable clothes and silently exit the house, trying to not wake up any of your roommates.

The night is pleasantly warm and you glance at some bright stars from the scarcely illuminated area that leads to the park. When you arrive, you sigh and smile in relief at the view in front of you. The place is empty, quiet and somehow it looks like a little heaven on earth.

You take a seat on a bench that is gracefully surrounded by flowery bushes and finally take a deep breath. When you exhale, you try to let everything go: all your anxieties, all your worries, all your thoughts. You listen to the crickets and to the cars swishing in the distance, you observe the plants around you tinted dark green by the shadows and for a moment you almost feel at peace.

Sadly, it’s not long before your legs start moving, the tips of your feet bouncing against each other over and over. A nice place isn’t enough to escape from your own thoughts.

“Y/n?” You jump, startled, and look to your left. Yuji is standing there, his face tired and his eyes curious. “What are you doing here?”

You move uncomfortably on the bench, unsure of what to say. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d come here for a bit.” Your eyes fall on your legs, which are now slowly kicking the air in front of you.

“Oh, same here. Can I sit?” Yuji hesitantly points at the bench you’re sitting on and you can’t help but wonder why he seems so stiff. His wrinkled white tee looks yellow under the lamppost light and his pink hair is messy.

“Of course,” you reply with a small smile.

You both sit there for a while, quietly, resting your back on the bench, turning your head up and looking at the stars.

Yuji is sitting a bit far away, but you still feel butterflies flying in your stomach at his nearness and you can smell the faint scent of his body wash. Citrus. You keep wondering what the meaning of his words was and you slowly come to the realisation that the only way to know is by asking. Your throat clenches just at the thought, but you’re tired of bottling up your feelings. Now or never.

“What if… What if I told you you’re beautiful too?” you mumble hastily. You can’t bring yourself to look at Yuji and you try hard to keep your eyes fixed on the night sky, but when you hear him move on the bench you can’t help but turn towards him.

He’s gotten closer, his brows raised in surprise. As soon as you turn your body toward him, waiting for his reply, he takes your hands into his. “Then I would ask if I can kiss you.”

You inhale sharply, emotions surging inside you, overwhelming you completely. The world has vanished. All you can feel is Yuji’s warm hands on yours and all you can see is his kind eyes probing yours.

Your head slightly nods without you even realising and the next thing you see is the man slowly closing the distance between you.

You close your eyes and a moment later warm lips brush yours, the pressure so delicate you almost wonder if it’s just a dream.

Yuji is starting to pull away, but your body moves on its own and you press your lips against his, this time with just a little more pressure.

So soft.

Yuji chuckles slightly and you can feel his lips turn up into a smile as you’re still kissing. He squeezes your hands and then kisses you once, twice, thrice...

Then he pulls away and when you open your eyes you inhale in surprise seeing how close he still is to you.

“I just want to say it so that we’re clear. I like you, y/n.”

A wide grin blooms on your face, your cheeks turning pinker and pinker by the second, and you avert your gaze for a moment before turning your eyes back at Yuji. “I like you too,” you say shyly, your whole body tingling in excitement.

“Good,” he replies, and he releases your hands, placing his on your cheeks. He then kisses you again, softly, sweetly. This is heaven, you think before losing yourself in the kiss completely.

Time passes, your lips never far from each other, when you suddenly feel Yuji’s hand on your side. You wince, worried that he’ll feel how round you are there, but his hold is so delicate and sure that your anxiety slowly gives in, letting you focus on him again.

You place your hand on his cheek, your pinky gently resting behind his ear, and your thumb slides tenderly on his jaw. You always liked his jaw.

Yuji’s hand slides just a little upward and before you can even react the man pulls away. You can see something funny on his face, perhaps a mixture of happiness and embarrassment, and you chuckle quietly at that view.

“We should probably go to sleep now. It’s quite late,” he says, clearly abashed.

You smile affectionately. “Okay.”

Yuji stands up and you follow suit, both starting to leisurely walk home, the humidity of the night starting to rise and making you shiver lightly.

Yuji clears his voice and takes your hand in his, the smile on his face as he looks in front of him, trying to play it cool, enough for you to feel your heart overflow with joy.

You slept so well that night. You thought you wouldn’t be able to at first, but after a while, the excitement you were feeling transformed into peacefulness and your eyes finally closed.

Yuji and you spend the next few days getting used to your new relationship. Every time you’re walking together you hold hands, you’re always sitting close at dinner, you exchange a kiss every day before leaving for work and one - or more - before going to sleep.

Maki and Nobara are quite excited about it too, and they express it by never wasting an opportunity to tease you about it. It’s fun to see how both Yuji and you blush lightly at their antics.

“So… we’re going to dance again today! This way you guys don’t have to worry about us,” screams Nobara from her room while she finishes dressing up.

Maki is ready, waiting on the couch, and shoots a wink at you.

You feel your cheeks flare up in embarrassment at the implications of their words and expressions. You’re going to be alone with Yuji for the first time after you got together.

You glance quickly at the man while you’re putting away some clean glasses in the cabinet and you see a funny smile on his face. He looks embarrassed but also excited as he throws some boxes in the bin.

It’s just a matter of minutes before your two friends leave in a profusion of “Byes” and “Have fun” accompanied by sly smiles.

“So…” Yuji starts, and looks at you with his hands in his pockets, "Do you want to watch a movie or…?"

The way he looks at you is amusing, to say the least. It is so clear that there is something else on his mind, but you assume he's trying to be a gentleman.

"We could, yeah…" you reply, uncertain on how to express yourself. "We could also listen to that band you were telling me about…"

Yuji's eyes widen cheerfully. "Yes! I have the stereo in my room, so we could go there," he says and immediately scratches his head sheepishly. "I mean... if it's okay with you."

You almost giggle at how shy he is right now. You honestly didn't expect him to.

"Sure," you reply with a tender smile and your cheeks form two little knobs.

The very next moment, Yuji grabs your hand and pulls you toward his room with a brisk stride. When you enter, he leaves your hand to go connect his phone to the stereo and you remain in the middle of the room, looking around. The sun has set, but its rays are still wandering aimlessly through the sky, entering the window and tinting the walls with a warm light.

"Should we sit?" He asks.

At your nod, Yuji takes a seat in the middle of the bed and you follow suit, sitting just a few centimetres away from him. Your whole body tenses at the thought of what could happen next.

The music intro of the first song finishes and the chorus starts, the deep bass echoing in the room. You turn toward Yuji and discover he's already staring at you, his eyes dreamy and his lips slightly parted.

Such a beautiful view.

You don’t have to think twice: you lean in and kiss him. It's the thousandth kiss you’ve given him this week, but it's still as if it was the first one. You feel your heart brimming with joy and butterflies swarm in your stomach, and it's still a surprise when Yuji's tongue brushes along your upper lip, making you breathe in sharply and creating an opening for him to stick his tongue in.

His tongue touches yours gently and there's something about the two warm, wet muscles dancing together that makes you feel hot to the core. Your hand, before placed on the mattress, reaches for his hair and you bury your fingers in it, caressing his scalp gently.

His hand, before on his knee, brushes against your cheek, the delicacy of the movement like sugar on your tongue. You have kissed before but today there's a sense of urgency slowly building up and revealing how the both of you are ready for more, crave for more.

Your thoughts intrude, doubts about the whats and the hows clouding your mind, but all this is put to an end when Yuji hooks his arm around your waist and uses his body to push you on the bed.

Shit. This is it, you think, and lose yourself in Yuji when he starts kissing you deeply, his lips hungry and his hand holding you close.

You thought many times about how making out with Yuji would have been, but reality proves to be a hundred times better than the fantasy. It isn't long before you start feeling a little more confident, your fingers now tracing along Yuji's back, your teeth grabbing Yuji's lower lip.

"Mmh," he moans quietly, "I like that."

At his words, you bite him once again and the next thing you feel is Yuji's hand cupping your breast over the tee, his movements soft but firm.

You could swear the temperature in the room is rising.

It's not long before you both get tired of all the layers between the two of you and Yuji's hand trails lower to slip under your Tee and reach your breast once again.

"Can you take off your bra?" He asks between kisses, and you smile at the thought that he’s getting less and less shy as the minutes pass.

You straighten your back just enough to reach the little hooks behind your back and unclasp them, and Yuji doesn't hesitate to interrupt your attempt to take it off by sticking his hand under it and reaching for your now bare and soft breast.

He fondles it over and over while placing kisses along your cheek and jaw as your breath quickens. Then he reaches for your nipple with his fingertips, twisting it lightly and making a moan escape your lips.

The exact moment you let out your voice, he stills, and you open your eyes only to see him stare at you with fervour.

"Do you have any idea how hot that was?" He asks, and his eyes are so serious you find yourself having no idea how to react.

"What?" You ask, your brain freezing at the sudden compliment.

He doesn't bother answering and instead starts kissing you again, his tongue looking for yours. Then his mouth starts going down, trailing kisses along your jaw until he reaches your neck. It’s a hot mess of lips and tongue, both tasting your skin and apparently looking for something.

Another moan leaves your mouth when he finds the soft spot of your neck, the one that makes you see the stars. He keeps teasing it, his hand never leaving your breast, the stimulation enough to make you whimper.

"Yuji," you moan, and you don't even know what you wanted to say but the way he stops and looks at you surely doesn't help you articulate your thoughts.

"If you say my name like that I don’t think I’ll be able to go slow for long."

You giggle, surprised, and place your hands on his cheeks, drawing him close and kissing him slowly.

He places his right leg on the side of your left, straddling you, and slowly starts to pull your Tee and your unclasped bra up. You help him and soon find yourself with your chest naked and free to see.

That’s when your insecurities hit you. Shit, I’m naked! you think, He’ll see everything! and you can’t resist the urge to try and cover up yourself, your hands struggling to find a position that will cover enough. You are so worried, so scared, and your breathing is way too fast.

“Y/n,” Yuji says. “Y/n!” he repeats, his voice a bit louder but still gentle. He’s looking at you worriedly and then leans on you, placing his face right next to yours, his lips close to your ear. “It’s alright. You don’t have to worry about anything. You’re beautiful.”

It takes a while, but your breathing slows down and you become aware of your surroundings once again.

You feel guilty. Yuji shouldn’t have to deal with all this. He shouldn’t be with someone who goes into a panic just because she’s taken off her shirt.

“Hey, look at me.” Yuji’s sweet face is now in front of you and he cups your face in his hands. “We can stop whenever you need, but if you’re worrying about stuff like me not liking you, you can definitely drop it.” Then he shamelessly scans all your upper body. “I mean, look at you. You’re hot as fuck.”

At those words, even your preoccupied self starts giggling. “Yuji!” you exclaim with surprise.

“What? It’s true!” Yuji leans in once more and gives you a gentle kiss on your nose, his light brown eyes soon locking onto yours with renewed passion. “Can I continue?”

You nod hesitantly, but then he grins at you and he’s shining so bright you can’t help but try to reflect his warm light back with a smile yourself.

Yuji kisses you again, this time on the lips, and then starts to wander south, quickly reaching your breasts. The moment he envelops your nipple in his mouth, a warm feeling travels around your body. He's cupping your other breast while he teases your nipple with his tongue and the moment he starts twisting the other nipple with his fingers you let out a high-pitched mewl.

You would be embarrassed if your mind wasn't completely at his mercy.

You feel something growing inside you, a yearning, the need to do more, to touch more, to be closer. You move your hips upward and meet what is unmistakably Yuji's bulge.

Your eyes open wide.

"Busted," he replies with a shy grin.

Without thinking twice, you extend your hand and reach for his still covered length, caressing it gently. A moan escapes Yuji's lips and it's like music to your ears. You want to touch him more, but before you have the chance, Yuji starts sliding downwards, his mouth trailing kisses along your chest, on your ribs, close to your belly button, then close to the hem of your pants.

You swallow when he hooks one finger around both pants and panties, moving them down slowly just enough to reach for the skin under them with his warm lips. The way his tongue slides in slow movements makes your breath shake.

Then Yuji raises his gaze, his sweet eyes staring into yours. "May I?"

You inhale quickly, your agitation so deep it seems like actual fear, but Yuji's eyes are so sweet and reassuring you try your best to buck up. "Just the trousers for now," you reply with a strangled voice.

"Okay," he replies and unties the small button with incredibly delicate hands–which is even more surprising when you think about how strong he is.

After he takes off your trousers, Yuji looks at you with what can only be satisfaction and then slowly leans on you. He caresses your cheek gently, giving you a soft kiss, and then brushes his hand through your hair before going south once again.

Pleasure and worry mix together like water and oil, without ever merging, and you wince when Yuji reaches your thighs.

You look at them. They're huge.

"So soft," he says instead, and you can see from the way he touches you, from the way he looks at you, that there's no trace in him of that disgust that perpetually resides in you.

His lips get dangerously close to your hottest spot while his strong hands grip at your thighs gently.

Then Yuji's light brown eyes stare into yours and he starts slipping his fingers in your panties, pulling them down slowly while checking for your reaction.

You have no doubt a diffused redness is now dwelling on your face, but you try to muster a half-smile to let your boyfriend know you're okay.

He makes your panties slide along your legs and places them carefully on the edge of the bed. His movements are so caring that your half-smile blooms into a full one.

He then starts placing kisses on the inner part of your thighs, adding his tongue with slow strokes as he gets closer and closer to your warmth.

The moment his tongue brushes your folds, you almost shiver and close your eyes, pleasure travelling through your body and reaching your head like a lustful echo. As he dispenses slow, delicate licks, your head gets lighter and you quickly forget most of your worries.

Your breathing is steady and deep, and you open your eyes every now and then to steal a glance of Yuji's focused face as he calmly pampers you. His eyes are half-lidded, his spiky pink hair brushes your skin and his muscular arms hook your thighs to keep you close.

You have only a faint awareness of the music still playing in the background, some EDM filling the room with bass and a warm voice.

When Yuji starts focusing on your clit, your breathing quickens. The warmth of his tongue on your little bud makes you whimper in pleasure, and your right hand reaches for his hair, burying itself in it and brushing it softly.

Your eyes flutter shut when his strokes get more insistent and you feel an intense warmth collecting in your core while Yuji's hands take hold of you firmly.

You hear the friction between your skin and the cotton of the pillowcase as you grab the pillow under your head and your grasp tightens when Yuji sucks on your clit only to then circle his tongue around it once more.

You unravel in a choir of whimpers, your body contracting in pleasure as your climax takes possession of your body, your voice trembling and your hips jerking under Yuji's incessant tongue.

When he stops, your body slowly relaxes and you let your arms rest near the pillow, opening your eyes and looking at Yuji's with affection.

When he raises his gaze, excitedly locking his eyes on yours, you smile fondly at him and he giggles quietly, making the bed under you tremble. "You are so cute when you cum, y/n," he says with glee.

You blush profusely at that comment, unable to see what he sees, but overjoyed in feeling how much he likes you.

"Come here," you say in a hushed voice, and you straighten your arms towards him, ready to welcome him between them.

Yuji gladly complies and he's soon in your embrace, his warm body–still clothed–slightly pressed on yours and his face hidden in the crook of your neck.

This is Heaven.

Then you feel it, the bulge in his pants still there and asking for attention.

You smile softly. "Yuji…"

The man raises his head and looks at you. "Yes?" He's smiling almost childishly.

How cute.

You glance briefly toward his pants. "Don't you think we should take care of that now?"

Yuji, to your surprise, blushes and averts his gaze. "Are you sure? If you're not ready, we can wait… I mean–"

"Yuji, I know I'm sensitive and all but I think you're over worrying a bit," you say with a chuckle.

Yuji ponders for a moment, then he moves away from you in a quick movement and hurriedly takes off his clothes. "Okay, I'm ready," he exclaims while standing naked in front of you next to the bed.

You can't suppress the laugh that comes out of you at that point, looking at him being so excited and cute.

“Then come here,” you ask nicely.

“Oh, wait!” Yuji reaches his nightstand and grabs a condom, and once it’s on, he almost jumps on the bed and over you, eliciting another giggle from you. “Then here I come,” he murmurs before leaning in and giving you a deep kiss, nice and slow, that leaves you breathless.

While your tongues brush against each other he positions himself between your legs and slowly caresses your hips, and soon you can feel his length brushing lightly on your mons pubis.

You look down and your mind is quickly clouded again with worries about your appearance, but then Yuji starts sliding along your wet folds and you breathe out a moan, moving your gaze to Yuji, who is now looking at you with pleasure in his eyes.

He breathes in deeply and slowly moves so as to align the head to your entrance.

"Are you ready?" He asks while his warm eyes lie on you.

"Yes," you say while nodding, and unconsciously grab his forearms with your hands for security.

Yuji leans in closer, giving you a soft kiss on your warm lips, and then you feel the pressure starting to rise.

It hurts a little at first. Your walls need to adjust to the new presence, but Yuji goes in slowly and lets you get used to it.

When he bottoms out a shaky breath leaves his lips and you find yourself staring at him, at every detail of his face, and all you can think about is how perfect he is.

"I'll start moving, okay?" He asks in a murmur.

"Mm-hmm," you assent.

As he starts moving, the pain quickly transforms into pleasure and your breathing quickens, your mind only focused on the feeling of Yuji dragging himself in and out of you.

His arms are flexed, keeping him raised over you while his hips push into you. He's going slow and you stare at his contracting abs, at his arms flexing, at his beautiful face. Then he starts increasing his pace.

Yuji bites his lower lip while he thrusts into you, and you can feel him getting more tense as you hold his arms. You pant and see Yuji looking at your breasts moving up and down at every movement. It's a bit embarrassing but his hypnotized gaze is priceless. It's so pleasant to be filled by him again and again, your hot bodies meeting and leaving each other repeatedly, warmth flowing all inside you.

He moans and then slows down suddenly, leaning down toward you and kissing you hungrily at first, his tongue twirling with yours. Then his kisses become sweeter and he pulls off slowly. "Y/n, I'm sorry but I don't think I can last long. I might be a little overexcited."

You let out a small, tender chuckle. "It's okay Yuji, you already spoiled me, think of your pleasure now."

He looks at you with wide eyes, and the enthusiasm is visible on his features.

You feel blessed to have such a sweet man as your partner.

"Oh, y/n, you really are something," he says happily, and he starts kissing your neck, the warmth of his tongue making you turn your head so that he can kiss you better.

He nips at your earlobe and then pulls himself back up. "Can I try something?" He asks with bright eyes.

"Sure?" You say hesitantly, unsure of what this something is, but you trust him enough to know he's not going to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.

"Okay, pull your legs up."

You look at him grabbing your legs to push them gently against your chest and you can't help but feel embarrassed at that position. You feel so exposed but you have no time to fall down that rabbit hole since Yuji soon puts your legs over his shoulders and smiles at you almost slyly before gently pushing himself into you again.

A choked moan escapes your throat as he thrusts into you.

He's in so deep.

Yuji is now moaning too and his voice is like spicy chocolate, sweet and tangy. You can feel yourself getting hotter by the second and you're so wet that Yuji can comfortably slide in and out of you at a rhythm that is getting faster and faster.

His hips smack against you at every thrust and you grab his arms once again, your grip strong as he hits you deeply with his hot member.

Not even the music can cover the moans of Yuji and you, both lost in the quick movements, both with heavy, half-lidded eyes.

You love the feeling you get in this position, it's something intense, almost overwhelming. Yuji clearly feels the same, his voice coming out more and his brows furrowing in pleasure.

He thrusts into you fast and deep, not missing a single beat and you can see his abs contracting at every movement. His arms flex under your hands and you bite down your lip in an attempt to cut down the sweet whimpers escaping your lips.

"We're alone here, don't hold back," he says, his words breathy, and you listen, releasing your lip and moaning loud when he thrusts into you once again with renewed strength.

"Y/n, I think I'm gonna–" Yuji's movements become sloppier and his eyes disappear under his lids as he thrusts into you some more times. He reaches his climax in a groan, his eyebrows perfectly furrowed, his body tensing in pleasure, and his lips murmuring your name.

You're breathless. You feel so tired, even though you didn’t do much. You raise your arms and caress Yuji's cheeks gently.

Yuji smiles at you and turns to kiss one of your hands. Then he exhales loudly. "Phew, this was…" he pulls out and moves your legs aside so that he can hover over you again, "this was so good, y/n." He then places a small kiss on the tip of your nose, another kiss on each of your cheeks and then he finally presses his lips on yours. "I hope it was good for you too," he adds and there's a hint of concern in his voice.

"Of course it was," you reply, and you hope that Yuji can hear the sincerity in your voice.

He probably does, because he smiles fondly at you, his eyes content and his features relaxing. Then he drops next to you, hooking his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. You can smell just the faintest trace of sweat on him, but it doesn't bother you at all. His breathing gets deeper and he hides his face in the crook of your neck.

"If you want to sleep, let me dress up first at least," you reprimand him serenely.

"No," he replies, his voice playful.

"What?" You ask in a soft giggle.

"I don't want you to dress up. I like seeing you naked." As he says that, he pulls you even closer and then takes the bed sheets and covers both of you with them, heads included. "Better now?"

"Well, I'm still naked," you reply pragmatically.

"Yeah, but only I can see you now." Yuji is almost chuckling now and you can't help but fail to fight back, rapt as you are by this adorable side of him. "Mmh, just for a little while," you concede in the end.

Yuji replies with a kiss on your neck and then holds you tight, his body warm against yours.

The playlist is over and silence reigns in the room, the only noise is the breathing of you and Yuji as you slowly let drowsiness take over you.

It's a nice feeling, a sweet feeling, and you find yourself wondering what would have happened if you hadn't waited this much to tell him your feelings.

Well, in the end, the important moment is now. You glance at him one more time and brush his hair lightly. And right now I am the happiest I've ever been.

Your breathing deepens, your eyelids fall, and your hand stops, sleep falling sweetly on you on this tender Summer night.