#cleverpopculturereference

[keij-station]

What the shit is even HAPPENING in your askbox

I have barely shown off what’s in here. But I will go ahead and share some others in here.

[chubbydave]

"Sorry man, just a long day at work, I've got a wife and family to feed, you know how it is..." I chuckle as I finish this statement before looking at you, anticipating the growth that's sure to follow. "Feeling anything yet?" I bite my lip, practically holding my breath in anticipation. "No urges to consume all that food, or to submit to your stomach's growth?"

[Dave had preferred to tune the not-so-magic anon out while he ate, and suddenly remembers that they were still having a conversation. He looks up from the second empty packet he was scrunching up into a wad in his hand to face him, mouth full of pastry cake.]

shry wht

[chubbydave]

"Of course it's safe! It's as safe as... OH FOR GOD SAKE JUST EAT THE FUCKING FOOD!" I open a package of Hostess confections, practically throwing them at you angrily. It seems the nice guy guise has been dropped.

[Startles, fumbling with the Confections in his hands.]

goddamn!!!! no need to be such a spaz

if youre gonna get frustrated cuz you have no idea how to lie you could at least do it in a civil and levelheaded manner

[He huffs and tears open one package and breaks off a piece, taking a tiny bite out of it and watching to see if anything happens. Nothing so far……]

[chubbydave]

"Yeah, sure, let's go with that." I once again nudge the bags toward you as your stomach releases a monstrous growl. "Better do what it wants, man. A stomach is not something to fuck with."

[He leans back a bit, holding his hands up in front of him and trying to control himself from making a grab for one of the bags.]

no hey where are you even getting this stuff i aint touching it till i know its safe cuz im totally down with filling myself with unhealthy snacks but id so much rather have the side effects show up on their own time like normal

[chubbydave]

"guess WHO'S BACK. BACK AGAIN." I stumble into the chatroom.

were you even gone

i sorta blanked for a little bit or something

[chubbydave]

((whered you go))

[chubbydave]

"That's just a BIT out of my range, kid. All shall feel the wrath of Adam Sandler. Try something more along the lines of..." I gently nudge the shopping bags toward you.

you cant even eradicate adam sandler from the face of the earth???? man youre practically fucking useless what a letdown

[Is nudged by the shopping bags, but stubbornly refuses to acknowledge they exist even as his stomach grumbles at him irately.]

[chubbydave]

"Depends on if you want it to be. ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE WITH THE MAGIC! NOT-SO-ANON"

oh

[Thoughtfully looks down at his soft middle, pinching it.]

i want

adam sandler to stop