Imagine Lexa being conscious of every life she lives. She can remember parts of her past lives (not every detail, but certain names and faces). When she meets Clarke for the first time on the ground, she feels like she recognizes the face...it's possible she's seen that face before, but she's not entirely sure. What she is sure of though is the feeling she has when she looks at her. It's love at first sight. Just as it always has been. She has a different name in this life. Just as Lexa has a different name from her previous one as well. This life is not as kind though, but still kinder than some. She's had to live some lives without Clarke. Lexa says Clarke's name repeatedly. Hoping to ingrain it into her brain. She wants to remember every detail about Clarke in this life. She's strong and beautiful and brings her so much hope. Lexa left Clarke at the mountain and even though she left her up there and returned to Polis unscathed, her heart was battered. Maybe this life was truly the worst of them all. She had to leave her soulmate. Clarke could die. They may be separated again. All in the hands of her own doing. But Lexa did not stop. She did not rest until she found Clarke. She did. The girl was angry and Lexa understood that. Clarke may not know the depth of their connection, but Lexa does. So she takes on the hurtful words and the spit and the knife to her throat because Clarke doesn't understand that it wasn't just a girl she had feelings for that left her...it was her soulmate. Life becomes more than just surviving again. The looks and the touches. The comforting. Lexa feels happy. The overwhelming guilt she had in her heart and the blood of her people became less daunting. She was feeling again. She was living again. Clarke had to leave. Lexa wanted her to stay. In this life, the universe doesn't allow it so they made love instead. Slowly and full of emotion. Lexa on the brink of saying "I love you" way too many times to count. Clarke almost choosing to stay too many times to count. But they have duties to their people. Clarke leaves the room and Lexa lets herself bask in the happiness she felt. Nothing ever felt so good. Then she hears it, a gunshot. She wonders if maybe the skaikru invaded or some other equally horrible thing. She runs to the source of the sound and in her head she says she's making sure her people are safe, but in her heart she knows she's making sure Clarke is safe. They're both the same thing now though. Clarke's people are her people. Clarke is hers. She is Clarke's. She runs into the room and is met with the most horrible searing pain in her stomach. She sees Clarke's wide eyes and Titus wielding a gun. It takes her a few moments to understand. She collapses into Clarke's arms. Death is not the end. She knows that. She has lived many lives. Sometimes without Clarke and sometimes with her. But god did she want to live this life longer. She just wanted a little more time. She wanted to take Clarke to all of the most beautiful places in her land. She wanted so much. She finally wanted more out of life than to just survive. But she knows that death is not the end and some day, she will meet Clarke again. It takes a while, but Lexa is finally aware of her previous life. She has a different name now though. Alicia Clark. She's always loved her last name. Now she knows why. It usually takes a few years to become aware of previous lives. This life was no different. She felt incomplete all her life. It wasn't a huge gaping hole in her soul. It was subtle, but it was most definitely there. All her life she took comfort in the arts. Music, painting, graffiti, whatever. She didn't know why for a while. She does now. Her boyfriend. Ex boyfriend. Was artistic. She was drawn to that so deeply. She didn't know why at first. She does now. This part of her life was always the worst in all her other lives. Knowing her lover. Clarke. But not knowing where she was or if she even existed. She's walking through the woods when it happens. A girl pushes her against a tree and holds a knife to her throat. "Clarke?" Alicia sees a flash of recognition go through the other girls eyes, but it disappears quickly and is replaced with confusion. "Who the hell is Clarke? And sorry about that. Thought you were one of them." She found her. This is her. She knows this is Clarke. Well that's not her name now, but it's her. "Nevermind. Are you alone? What's your name?" "I'm alone. My parents were some of the first to turn. I got out of there quick enough to not turn as well. My name is Elyza Lex." Yet another unfortunate life to live in, but maybe in this life, they can live just a little bit longer. If not, death is not the end and they will meet again.