How to report credit irregularities to your phone operator (a modern odyssey)
Go to a physical store to talk to a physical real human being, because you know that if you try and engage with those automatic voice or chat boxes, you'll never see the end of it (in the shadows, the Fates laugh).
Physical real human tells you that sadly they can't help you in this, but they give you a phone number and an email address.
You try the phone number first. An automatic voice answers.
The Voice asks you what is that you wish to know. The Voice gives you options, but none seems to be quite right. No, you do not want to purchase new products, thanks. You wish to talk to a human.
Fear Not, says the Voice, for its dear friend Angelia can help you. Angelia shall answer any and all requests! The Voice sends you to Angelia to continue the conversation.
Angelia is an AI chatbox. Angelia tries Oh So Hard to understand, it wants to help! But no, Angelia, this is now what I meant. Can I speak to a human instead? Can I speak to a human? Can I speak to a human? Can I speak to a Human? Can I speak to a human?
You are starting to lose hope, but your pleads are honest and true, and even an AI chatbox, maybe, has a heart. Angelia schedules an appointment to talk to a real human. You will be called back, before the sun sets, for sure, you will be called.
Three minutes to dusk, the phone rings. You honestly didn't think it would actually happen at this point, the time was almost up.... But, your perseverance was rewarded! You answer the call, quivering in anticipation and relief. A Physical Real Human Person is about to assist!
Silence. No, not silence.... The sound of wind, intererference...... In the distance, voices, Real Human Voices, talking. But not to you. You call out to them. You call out again. They can't hear you! Can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Hell
The call is disconnected.
The day after, you try the email address instead. You write your name, your request, you explain yourself as clearly as you can. You beg for help.
You send the email. An automatic response arrives imediatelly.
We cannot follow your email, it says. You have not included the necessary attachments.
It does not tell you what the necessary attachments are.
Angelia, can you make me speak with a human? Can we try again?? Maybe this time-
Angelia does not understand. It had given you the only shred of humanity it had. It shall not have pity on you again.
You burn in rage. You refuse to give up, you refuse! You know this is no silly misunderstanding, ha ha ha!
This is by design.
You call the number again, and the Voice answers. It gives you options, once again. You try new options this time, things that don't seem to fit your needs, but you have no other choice, this is the last chance you have......
Press 1. Press 2. Press 1. Press 3. Press 2. Press 1. Go back go back, press 3, press 2, press 3 again.
Please hold, the Voice says.
Please, hold. Music plays from the depths, distant, distorted, distasteful, and yet, at last......
A voice greets you. Not a Voice. This is.... a person. A real human person.
Trying not to weep, you explains your situation to them.
Kind, warm, real, human voice hums in the background as they search for answers.
I am sorry, they say, with real emotion (the real emotion helps). They cannot help you. But! They maybe know who can.
A new number is given to you.
You call. A Voice answers. Not the same Voice, and yet it's just the same. Do you know we have a website?, it says. Do you know you can solve your own problems, if you go to the website?
You stand your ground. You press 1. You press 1 again.
Please hold.
More music from the depths.
Hello, a new voice greets you, a new human voice.
This was easier this time, you're almost getting used to it.
You explain, once again, what your issue is. Ah yes, the person says. They can see what the issue is.
You have to send an email to have it fixed.
This real person is not unkind. They give you the address, they teach you all the tricks, secret protocol numbers tied to your account, numbers you did not know. They tell you what to write, what to attach, how to forward your request. This is an ally. This is a physical real human person, and they know how the system works. They do what they can for you.
So, you send the email. This time, there seems to be no issue. It seems not.
All you can do now is to wait. You have no way of knowing if used the right words, despite what your ally told you.
You can just.... Wait. Hope. Pray.











