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Aug 8

"Secret Addiction" (1/1)

Summary:

Jason Todd and Roy Harper have been on an on-and-off secret relationship that's turning codependent fast. Roy relapses and Jason tracks him down, the two coming face to face in Jason's car in the middle of nowhere while a storm rages outside.

It's angsty, dripping in sexual tension between the two, confessions, sex with feelings, a bratty bottom Jason and hopelessly in love Roy Harper. Features talk about drug use and addiction but no depictions of use.

Tags: Jason Todd x Roy Harper; Shameless smut; p0rn with feelings; sexual tension; bottom Jason Todd; Top Roy Harper; Codependency; Jason Todd is a menace; implied referenced drug use; making out; car sex; mlm smut; anal s3x; anal plug

Rating: Explicit

Ao3 link here

Word Count: 6,047 words

Roy’s biggest hurdle in life was himself.

He knew that, most close to him did too. Roy didn’t just make decisions that negatively affected him, but unfortunately for him, he was simultaneously too good for his own good. He had a precedent for being a good man, responsible, someone you can count on – which is why whenever he relapsed it wouldn’t take too long for someone to figure it out.

Addiction is selfish, Roy isn’t.

It took Jason seventeen hours to find Roy this time. He’d been better at keeping the front up and running for longer the previous times but not this time. Roy was the type to always reply or call back within minutes. He’d be in the middle of a mission and get a text from Jason and would immediately call back, arrows flying and grunts of fighting as he checked in – Roy cared, he cared so much it made it obvious when he wasn’t caring about himself, when he wanted to disappear.

Seventeen hours since he’d left Jason’s message on read.

Jason tapped the cigarette letting the ash fall on the wet asphalt, it had rained the entire ride over to the dingy highway bar in the middle of nowhere.

Seventeen hours since Jason had asked if he wanted to come see him in Gotham. Since he’d asked him to close the distance Roy had imposed between them.

Most would take the silence as being turned down but Roy wasn’t like that, Roy would never try to hurt him this way. Even if he didn’t want to see him, even if he was done with him, he’d never ghost him.

Seventeen hours and the easiest trail he’d ever had to follow: Jason had driven above the speed limit with a tightness in his stomach. It had been too easy, and easy with people like them meant a quiet desperation – a wish to be found, to be discovered, to be saved.

He took a deep drag and shifted his ass against the hood of his car, he’d been leaning against it for what felt like ages, stuck in between the bar where Roy was hiding in and the car he could use to leave. He couldn’t make up his mind on how to reach out so he stood and he smoked a cigarette.

He was smoking the second one when the door to the bar opened and a man was shoved out with force. He didn’t fight it, stumbling out mumbling curses while he adjusted his backwards baseball cap.

“Hey asshole! My jacket!” – He shouted back, his voice hoarse - Jason flinched.

Roy’s jacket was launched at his chest, impacting him with weight to it. He clutched it and showed his middle finger up, then turning around – finally – and finding himself being watched.

“Shit.” – He whispered at a standoff with Jason.

The parking lot between them was empty, the wet asphalt reflecting the glowing red neon sign. He looked around himself while Jason put out his cigarette, crossing his arms. He walked towards Jason looking over his shoulder, his movements jittery.

“Hey, Roy.” – Jason said with a shy smile that poked through him biting the insides of his lips.

“Hey, Jay…” – He stopped a few feet from Jason.

“You ready?” – Jason asked nodding back at the car.

Jason read Roy’s response in the absence of words. His head hung low, his fist tightened and he swallowed hard.

“Come on.” – Jason made his way inside the car and heard Roy’s feet dragging behind him.

The car doors slammed one after the other and Roy groaned sitting back on the passenger seat. Jason watched as Roy closed his eyes and took off his baseball cap, messing up his hair. He reached over and took the cap from his hand and reached for the jacket. Roy’s grip tightened around it and he looked at Jason through his eyelashes.

“I’m just gonna throw it in the backseat.” – It was like trying to pull something out of a dog’s mouth, every movement had to be slow and deliberate to avoid the bite.

He knew Roy wasn’t like that, but he also knew himself well enough to understand sometimes the jaw clenches before the mind catches up to it like a hand flinching from touching hot pot. Jason knew involuntary violence better than most.

“Sorry.” – Roy released his grip and leaned further back, his legs spread open as wide as he could and brought his hand over his stomach, rubbing it with a frown.

“It’s fine…” – Jason’s eyes darted across Roy, examining his hand, his arms, his face…

He was wearing a t-shirt, his arms exposed looking just like they usually did. He was pale, more than usual and his eyes had dark circles around them. He watched his hand the longest, wondering what ache it was it tried to soothe.

“Did you do anything?” – The words left Jason’s mouth quiet, almost a whisper.

Roy’s hand stopped and he turned his head away from Jason, looking out the window. He spoke into his fist leaning against the side of the door.

“Just some pills… I threw my back out last week-”

“I know…”

“Drank a lot as well… I… I must reek…”

“You smell fine.”

Roy smiled into his fist. Jason was turned almost completely sideways on his seat. He cleared his throat trying to come closer, shifting and leaning in.

“Roy… did you do anything else?” – He said with a hand hovering over the stick on his way to Roy’s thigh, hanging in the air. – “I gotta know… you… you know I gotta ask for your sake… I don’t want you to suffer, yeah?”

Roy nodded and took a deep breath in, finally turning to face Jason.

“No… no, I didn’t… you- you were too fast…” – He chuckled and brought both hands to his face, rubbing it with a sigh. – “You’re too damn fast…”

“Okay… that’s fine, yeah? So, just the pills?”

“Yeah… just pills…” – He dropped his hands over his lap and looked at Jason sideways, struggling to meet his eyes.

“Roy…”

Jason leaned further in, desperately trying to close the gap between them. He reached his hand over to Roy, finding his forearm and finally touched him, running his fingers down his rough skin to his hand. He clasped his around Roy’s giving it a squeeze.

“Hey… what’s up?”

“I can’t keep doing this to you…” – Roy said closing his eyes. – “Fuck… I’m older… I should know better!”

“Like that matters…” – Jason chuckled.

Roy whipped his head back at Jason, easier to face him now he was smiling.

“It does… I can’t keep doing this to you! Falling apart, crawling back to you begging for you to forgive me, full of sorries and nights drenching up your sheets and messing up your place… throwing your life upside down while I sweat out my stupid-”

“Please do.” – A harder squeeze.

“What?” – Roy frowned at Jason.

“Please let me pick you up, please let me be there for you, please let me make sure that-”

“It’s not your responsibility!” – Roy snapped letting go of Jason’s hand, bringing both up by his head in an exagerated gesture.

“Yeah, it wasn’t when I learned what Narcan was at eight.” – Jason said resenting the distance between them. – “When I walked into the harm reduction clinic at the Hill asking for help. It wasn’t when I saw my mom lose so much weight in a couple weeks she was skin and bone.”

“Jay…” – Roy pressed his lips together, always agonising to think he was making Jason relieve the worst parts of his childhood.

“You can’t push me away. You don’t wanna be with me or mess around, that’s fine, I won’t touch you. But I came here to make sure you were okay, I came here to make sure you weren’t about to do something you’d regret.”

Jason leaned back against the car door, his body still facing Roy with a bent knee. He leaned his head back against the glass and looked at Roy from an angle, his jawline looking soft and his lips pouty.

“This is all wrong… you know it… you shouldn’t have to do any of this…” – Roy complained unable to peel his eyes away.

“I want to.”

“Do you understand what Dick would do to us if he found out?!” – Roy burst out, the secret of their relationship eating up at him.

Jason exhaled through his nose and shook his head, looking out the window.

“You’re asking the wrong person. You think I give two fuck’s about what Dick thinks of me? You think I care about what Dick thinks of who I fuck?”

“Christ, Jason…” – Roy squirmed.

“I mean it. You seriously think I care about any of that right now? I couldn’t care less about anyone else outside this car.”

“Fine. You don’t care… What about me?! What would Dick think of me?!” – Roy shrieked, collapsing back against the seat and returning a hand over his stomach that turned into both arms crossing around himself, a tight hug as his face contorted in pain.

“He should be happy to know someone cares about you as much as I do.” – Jason responded with a sadness in his eyes and voice that only made Roy’s pain worse. – “And that you have someone who knows how to make you feel good, someone who knows just how to let you decompress-”

“Jay!”

Jason chuckled in response, lifting his leg and giving Roy’s knee a nudge with his boots.

“What else?” – He asked with a teasing smile.

“What?” – Roy responded with shifty eyes that he couldn’t draw back now that he’d allowed himself to look at Jason, everything else suddenly disappearing as his vision tunneled on the man across from him with red neon light reflecting off his delicate features.

“On the self-flagellation list, what’s next?”

“Fuck off…” – The first smile poked through, a stifled laugh leaving Roy’s throat.

“You mind?”

Jason pushed his hips up, squirming reaching inside his pockets for the cigarettes and lighter while Roy waved him off, his eyes focused on Jason’s hips, the way the fabric bunched around his crotch. He travelled up and saw how Jason’s t-shirt clung to his body, it was tighter than he’d expected, surprised to find the outline of his muscles and soft tissue poking through the blue hue.

Jason opened the window behind him, taking a cigarette and placing it between his lips aware of Roy’s lingering gaze. With droopy eyes he warmed his face with the flame and took a deep drag, turning his head to blow it out the window. Roy’s hand found Jason’s boot, resting his hand over the laces. Jason looked back at him with a squinty smile and offered him the pack.

“Want one?”

“Sure…” – Roy agreed picking a cigarette between shaky fingers.

Jason took another deep drag, the flame lighting up his face in the dark car and he leaned forwards, still keeping his outstretched leg on Roy’s seat.

“Can I have a light?” – Roy asked placing the cigarette between his chapped lips.

“I got you.” – Jason said positioning himself as close to Roy as he could.

He held Roy’s face with both palms and touched the tip of his cigarette to Roy’s.

“In.” – He ordered.

Roy breathed in, lighting his cigarette with Jason’s flame. A few short puffs and it lit up. He pulled himself away from Jason not to blow smoke on his face.

“You’re the worst…” – He said with a chuckle leaning back against the side of the car like Jason.

“Open up the window, would you?” – Jason ordered with sleepy eyes.

“You know, smoking’s bad for you…” – Roy joked turning the manual lever behind him, stretching his arm out the window to tap the ashes off.

“Deadass?” – Jason asked faking surprise. – “What did you do to get kicked out of the bar? You don’t look that wasted to me…”

He slid further down, both legs invading Roy’s seat.

“Seeing you sulking by the car sobered me up real fast.” – He joked holding the cigarette out the window, his other hand finding Jason’s shin and resting on it – he could feel the warmth of his skin through his thick jeans. – “Was being an asshole…”

Jason nodded, his eyes focusing on Roy’s hand on his leg, his shifty thumb over the fabric of his jeans. He swallowed hard and forgot about his cigarette for a second, thinking of better uses for his mouth.

“I meant it when I said we shouldn’t anymore…” – Roy said taking a deep drag to run from his own words.

“Yeah, I heard you then.” – He clenched his jaw. – “I disagree.”

Roy laughed.

“Jay…”

“Come on, don’t tell me what you think – tell me how you felt when you saw me standing by the car.” – He dropped the cigarette out the window and leaned forwards.

“Jay.”

“I mean it, what did you feel when you saw me there. How long has it been? Three weeks? Almost four?”

Jason reached a hand over and gripped Roy’s headrest, a need to fill his idle hands overtaking him.

“Yeah four weeks…”

“Go on, I can take it, I’m a big boy you don’t gotta coddle me… what did you feel when you saw me out here in the middle of fuck-all waiting for you?”

“Jay, I mean-”

“Roy, I’m gotta get an answer out of you one way or another.” – Jason said leaning further in.

“Fine! I felt relief! I felt relief and then I felt shame and then my heart started racing cause I couldn’t believe you came for me again…”

Jason smiled a smug smile and leaned back, satisfied with the response.

“You’re so full of yourself…” – Roy complained shaking his head.

“Careful, you’re about to burn your fingers…” – Jason said seeing the flame inching closer on Roy’s neglected cigarette.

He looked at it, at the long line of burnt ash that clung desperately on, ready to fall apart at any motion. He tossed the cigarette behind him out the window and lunged at Jason. He leaned over the stick squeezing himself between Jason’s legs, his hand gripping one of Jason’s hands by his head, the other holding onto the car door behind him. They froze there, deep breaths they shared that now smelled the same, Roy’s heart in his throat and Jason’s lips curling into an accomplished smile.

“You brat.” – Roy’s eyes darted between Jason’s eyes and his lips. He’d always hated the smell of cigarettes, the one bad habit he’d never picked up but recently he’d find himself seeking out the scent, even going so far as to buying the same ones Jason smoked to taste him when they were apart.

He’d never thought himself capable of becoming addicted to the taste of someone quite like this.

“Hey Roy…” – Jason said reaching his idle hand towards Roy’s thigh.

He touched him softly and let his hand linger, holding him the same way he did whenever Roy would speed up while buried deep inside him.

“Mmn… don’t…” – Roy closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Come on… let me make you feel better…” – Jason said rubbing his cheek against Roy’s. – “Make me feel better…”

“I’m no good for you…” – Roy said leaning in, his lips magnetised to the stupid scent.

“Then why does it feel so good when you’re around? And why does it hurt so bad when you’re gone?” – Jason said moving his hand up to Roy’s hip.

“I could say the same thing about a dozen things that I shouldn’t do too…” – Roy let his lips brush over Jason’s, a tingling over his skin. – “You’re the hardest bad habit to drop…”

“Come on… I can’t be worse than heroin…” – Jason spoke against Roy’s lips, his speaking against him like that more intimate than any kiss could be.

“Hurts worse being away from you… I’d take that over being without you… I take the cramping, the sweating, the puking, the nights awake, the fever, the chills… it’s easy compared to staying away from you…”

“Roy… did you relapse cause you pushed me away?” – Jason asked opening his eyes, looking at Roy with shock over his face.

“Numbs me down… numbs the pain, the loneliness… numbs everything… can’t think of you on a downward spiral…” – He said inching closer to Jason, their noses pressing against each other’s.

“Fuck, Roy…”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I pushed you away… I don’t wanna I just- I can’t… I can’t help it… I’m scared…”

“Scared?” – Jason replied closing his eyes.

“I’m so scared to give in to this…”

Roy moved his hand away from the car door and dragged it by Jason’s head, messing his hair, then lowering it over his cheek and neck, brushing over his chest and settling on his waist, grabbing him with a firm grip.

“Roy, please…” – Jason said completely surrendered under Roy.

“Jay, don’t. Please don’t… don’t ask me that… I can’t-”

“What?”

“I can’t resist you…”

“Please, Roy… I miss you so bad… please don’t push me away… please…”

Roy felt Jason’s breathing quicken, his voice choked. None of that broke him, none of that made him give in until Jason swallowed, a soft whimper leaving his lips as he breathed out.

Then, only then did Roy give in.

His lips pressed against Jason’s with a desperation that surprised even himself, both hands wrapping around Jason and holding him tightly around his arms while his lips dragged over Jason’s. His own chin was covered in stubble that scratched Jason’s skin but he didn’t mind it, grabbing Roy’s hair and cheek with both hands. Giving in was so easy, it felt so good and so right Roy hated it. He groaned and pulled away slightly, a string of spit stretching between their lips.

It started raining outside, a heavy summer storm unexpectedly rushing in. Jason laughed and wiped off the spit his with thumb, dragging it over Roy’s bottom lip while Roy reached behind him to close the window.

“Shit!” – He exclaimed while Jason laughed pegged underneath his weight.

“The other one! Get the other one!” – He urged him on fighting off his hand for the lever.

Roy turned around with some difficulty, the car way too cramped. They closed the windows hearing the heavy sound of fat drops of rain assaulting the outside out the car, perfectly safe from the downpour inside. He turned back around and saw Jason just where he’d left him, only this time his hand was resting on the waist of his jeans, a bulge pressing the previously bunched up fabric. It was taught at spread now, outlining his shape.

“Sorry… can’t help it…” – He said thrusting his hips up.

“No… no, no, you can’t do that…” – Roy closed his eyes and shook his head taking deep breaths in.

“But I can’t help it Roy, come on…” – Jason whined.

“Jay… come on man… I’m-”

Roy was interrupted by a crack sound that made him jump. He opened his eyes to see Jason’s seat was now fully reclined back, the culprit undoing his zipper with a shit eating grin on his face and begging eyes.

“Come on, Roy…” – He nudged at him. – “Let me make you feel better…”

“You’re the worst…” – Roy complained with a pained expression in his face.

“Please… please, Roy…”

“You should be mad at me, you should be disgusted by me…” – He said following Jason, guiding his body down the reclined seat and positioning himself over him. – “You should hate me, Jason… You should hate me and want nothing to do with me…”

“I’m really bad at doing what I should though…” – He spoke against Roy’s neck, giving him a soft kiss before he pulled away, sitting over Jason’s lap. – “And I excel at doing what I shouldn’t…”

“Does it get you off? Huh? Being with me when you know how much Dick would recoil at it?”

“Yeah.” – Jason said with a smug smile. – “But that’s not why I do it…”

He gasped feeling Roy’s hands pulling his jeans down, the leather seat feeling cold against his bare ass.

“Then why do you do it?”

“Cause I’m mad about you, you asshol- mmmnnn…”

Roy shut Jason up with a kiss to his tip. Jason squirmed under him, a naughty grin spreading as he felt Roy’s hands move over his stomach down to his thigh, caressing his inner thigh and slowly reaching towards his taint.

“Roy…”

“No, shut up… you talk too much…” – He complained pressing kisses against his tip and length, dragging his lips making his foreskin move and stimulate Jason.

“Mmmnn… wait… Roy, lis- ahahhmmnnn…”

“Shh!”

Roy trailed his fingers further back and stopped feeling cold metal against his tips where he’d hoped to find Jason’s soft skin.

“What the-” – He pulled back with a confused look on his face.

Jason grinned and whimpered, a chuckle making his abs muscles tense.

“I tried to warn you…” – He chuckled bringing his arms up and resting them behind his head.

“You- you had that in you this whole time?!” – Roy exclaimed pushing his thighs apart and looking down at Jason’s home and the flared base poking out of it. – “Are you insane?! I could’ve been drugged out of my mind in a filthy bathroom or something!”

“Come on, I can multitask.” – Jason winked.

“You’re messed up…” – Roy said with a grin and a glimmer in his eyes, tugging at the metal and watching Jason squirm under him.

“Mmmm yeah…” – Jason sighed closing his eyes. – “Besides, you know you wanted me to find you… easiest trail I’ve ever followed… you wanted this…”

“Look at me.” – Roy ordered slipping back into old habits fast. – “You want me to fuck you right here? In your car?”

“Windows are all fogged up already… with this rain… middle of nowhere… come on…” – He said with sharp breathing. – “I got a condom or two…”

Roy leaned down and kissed Jason, a softer more adoring type of kiss he usually saved for the mornings.

“You gotta try and keep it down when I pull this out of you…”

“You implying I can’t?”

“I know you can’t…”

Roy placed a hand on Jason’s belly and locked eyes with him, the fingers on his other hand gripping around the flared metal base.

“Relax yeah, I’ll take it slow…” – He caressed his skin, feeling him as he took deep breaths in and out. – “Yeah, just like that… in and out, Jay… relax a little more for me…”

“HMMmnnn… Roy…” – Jason closed his eyes and tensed his core.

“No… shhh… slow… slow… ease up for me… relax.” – He ordered reaching under his t-shirt and tugging at his skin, rubbing him.

“Just… just get it off… mmmnnn…” – Jason frowned and smiled, his dick depositing pearls of precum over his lower belly.

Roy pulled slow, following Jason’s breathing with eyes that barely blinked. He could feel a wet patch forming inside his pants and it took everything in him to have the self control to go slow.

Jason gasped as the widest part neared his hole, reaching behind Roy’s neck and gripping him tightly.

“In.” – He ordered, stopping and waiting until Jason took a deep breath in. Once satisfied, he followed his instruction. – “Out.”

With a deep exhale he pulled the plug out and dropped it on the floor between the seats. It made a loud thud sound that was drowned out by Jason’s moans and heavy breathing.

“Ahnmm… mmnnhggpmm… nnhgmm…”

“Shh… come on… keep it down… I ain’t gonna do anything to you if you can’t keep quiet.”

“Please… please Roy…” – Jason pleaded reaching for Roy’s jeans and undoing his buttons and zipper.

Roy watched Jason’s shaky fingers until he couldn’t anymore, taking over and pulling his pants and underwear down to his knees in one fast movement.

“Get your shoes off, kick them off.” – He ordered pulling Jason’s jeans clean off his body. – “I need to be able to fold you.”

“Mnn.” – Jason obeyed with his breath caught in his chest.

They undressed desperate and clumsy, jackets, shoes, and jeans flying off their bodies and landing all over the car seats and floor with disregard. Roy climbed over Jason pushing his knees up against his chest and stopped for a moment, admiring Jason under him. He reached a hand and caressed his cheek with the back of his fingers.

“You sure about this?”

Jason huffed with raised eyebrows, adorably angry. Roy melted, dropping his head and shaking it.

“You cute…”

“Roy… come on… I’ve missed you so bad…” – Jason whined under him, his hands tugging at his hips.

“I’ve missed you too, Jay… fuck, I’ve missed you so bad…” – Roy finally admitted.

With the weight off his chest Roy felt an explosion of excitement wash over him. It was so overwhelming he leaned down and kissed Jason to stop himself from crying.

“Where’s that condom you promised, huh? Don’t wanna hurt you…” – He asked between kisses.

“Glove box…”

Roy reached back, finding more than just one or two condoms. He chuckled and looked back at Jason with raised eyebrows while he ripped the plastic. He pumped himself a couple times over Jason getting himself ready and covered his dick with the condom, drinking in the sight of Jason dazed expression watching his every move. He could do it all night, stand there watching how Jason looked up at him.

“You ready?” – He asked steadying himself with one hand while the other held Jason’s leg up by his chest.

“Mhm… yeah…” – Jason nodded.

Roy slipped inside slow. His trepidation was less about fear of hurting Jason but more about a fear he’d make a fool of himself before he could even bottom out. Jason’s insistence, his persistent unwillingness to let Roy push him away was so much he felt like he could come at the slightest sigh. Jason moaned and tilted his head back, his adam’s apple bulging as he swallowed hard.

“Roy…” – He moaned.

“Yeah, yeah baby…” – Roy responded pumping himself deeper, grabbing Jason’s hips.

He filled his hands with a softness Jason reserved only for him. His strong muscles, his build was intimidating to most but Roy knew under the armour, under the mask there was a layer of softness covering his muscles. His thighs and ass splayed against the seat of the car gave Roy the perfect grip to hold onto as he drove himself deeper and deeper inside the most loving man he’d ever known – the man who was desperate to love and who was denied it by everyone in his life.

“I’m so sorry I pushed you away…” – Roy admitted with a sigh, speeding up his thrusting with a desperate need.

“It’s okay… I get it…” – Jason replied picking his arms up from underneath him and wrapping them around Roy’s shoulder and neck, pulling him further down against the car seat with him.

He wrapped his fingers around Roy’s hair and played with him while Roy pounded into him.

“Fuck, Roy… oh my god… mmmnnn…”

“That feel good?” – Roy asked kissing Jason’s face.

He pulled Jason up a bit, wrapping his arms around his torso in a tight hug, trapping Jason’s dick between their bodies. Jason gasped at the feeling, the tugging and pressing and rubbing making him lose composure.

“Come on, Jay… that feel good?”

“So good… so good…”

“Yeah… you damn right… fuck… you feel so good…”

Roy could feel Jason clenching around him and planted one final kiss on his cheek before pulling away. Jason resented the distance before he realised what Roy was doing. He drove into Jason faster and faster and picked up his dick in his palm, pumping him with half shut eyes.

“Oh… oh my go- yeah… yeah, just like that… fuck… yeah…” – He breathed out shuddering.

“You’re so pretty… you’re so fucking pretty… I hate you, you prick…” – Roy repeated in desperate bursts as he pushed harder and harder into Jason.

“Damn… imagine what you’d do to me if you liked me…” – Jason joked, his laugh turning into a pained moan as Roy drove into him tip to base slamming hard against him.

“Like you… pft… you’re such an idiot, Jay…”

“The hell, man…” – Jason complained tugging at Roy’s hips.

“I love you, you idiot… I hate you and I love you, but no, I don’t like you… you’re the worst… stupid know it all with a sweet tongue… you always break my walls… you always break me down…”

He was twisting Jason’s dick in his palm mercilessly, dragging over his tip and milking him oblivious to how hard he was going, his mind split between the fullness of his hand and the clenching around his dick.

“You and you alone, apparently…ha! Ahnmmm… slow, slow! Fuck!” – Jason yelled and panted under Roy.

Jason came over Roy’s hand unexpectedly, an explosion of cum that shot up reaching Roy’s stomach.

“You brat… so messy…” – Roy chuckled.

“Hey, it’s my car… mmmnnmm… I’ll cover it in cum if I want to…” – Jason’s lips parted and he closed his eyes in relief.

“Nasty…” – Roy joked continuing to pump him through his orgasm, draining every last drop from him he could.

“You love it…”

Roy moaned and kept thrusting, Jason’s orgasm making him tense around him so much Roy was about to come any moment, just needing a little more push to finally let go.

“Yeah I do… I love your nasty cigarettes and the way you always cum way too much… make it drip out the side of my mouth when I blow you… love the way you break into my place, love the way you track me down and show up uninvited… love the way you don’t give up on me… you’re annoying and I love it…”

“Ah… Roy- mmnnpphhnn… you close?!”

“So close… so so close, Jay…” – Roy closed his eyes and when he opened them back up he saw Jason frowning in pleasure, holding his breath. – “Jay?”

“Mmnhnpphmm…” – Jay moaned, still tensing under Roy. – “Fuck…”

“Go on… let go… relax Jay…” – Roy ordered slowing his thrust. – “Breathe for me, baby… please breathe…”

He came clutching Jason’s knees by his chest. A slow drawn out orgasm that shook him, Jason’s own milking his dick inside him, urging him on.

“Fuck… fuck, how are you so perfect?” – He asked catching his breath, his face hidden by his messy ginger mane.

“Roy… mmmnnn… that was so good… oh my god…”

“Shh… I can’t take it… you gotta stay quiet… don’t say another word.” – He said frowning.

“But-”

Roy covered Jason’s mouth with his hand, the one that wasn’t covered in cum, and held it there.

“Shh… not another word from you… I can’t take it…” – He laughed. – “God, Jay… you burn so hot…”

“Wha?” – Jason’s voice was muffled.

“Nothing… nothing… just… you warm me up like nothing else…”

Jason tried speaking but his words were indecipherable. He squinted his eyes at Roy and bit his fingers.

“Ouch!” – Roy pulled back fast without thinking. – “Jay!”

“You won’t get rid of me…” – Jason said with half shut lids and a relaxed mouth that breathed in and out slow, his chest and belly moving out of synch as he tried to catch his breath. – “I can’t give you up…”

“I’m bad for you, Jay… you know it…”

“But I’m good for you…” – He said bringing a forearm up to his forehead.

“You okay?” – Roy asked with concern in his eyes, cradling his cheek. – “Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?”

“Nuh-uh…” – Jason shook his head. – “No…”

“I did… you look spent…” – He said with a frown.

“I love it…” – Jason said with a whimper feeling Roy’s dick twitch inside him.

“Imma pull out… you ready?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure…” – Jason responded laying back completely still, his body still moving through pleasure and recovery in a painful ecstasy he was absolutely hoooked on. He couldn’t believe he’d managed to wait this long to get Roy back, the thought of going a single day without feeling this way sounding like hell to him all of a sudden.

Roy was slow and gentle, pressing on Jason’s lower belly as he pulled out the way he knew made it easier on him.

“Ah fuck…” – He moaned with relaxed parted lips, missing the feeling already.

“You good… you all good… Imma clean up, you relax…”

“Glove box… tissues…” – Jason mumbled. – “Keys… pocket…”

“Huh?” – Roy asked wiping his hand and Jason’s belly clean of his cum.

“The car keys… in my pocket…”

“Why you telling me where the keys are?” – Roy asked leaning down and giving Jason’s pouty lips and kiss.

“You think I can drive after this?” – He joked finally opening his eyes.

“Jay, I can’t drive.” – Roy chuckled sitting back on Jason’s thighs, pulling off the condom and tying it up.

“Huh? Why?” – Jason exclaimed coming up to his elbows.

“I’m drunk! I told you I’d been drinking…”

“But-” – Jason’s eyes widened and he collapsed back onto the seat hearing Roy laugh.

“I’ve mixed pain meds and alcohol and cigarettes… I’m gonna kill us if I get behind that wheel. You gonna have to be a big boy and get it together and drive us back home…”

“Fuck me…” – Jason complained. – “Gimme five…”

Roy chuckled and caressed Jason’s pecks, squeezing one in his palm. He let go and started making sense of the mess of their clothes. He found Jason’s t-shirt and hugged him, pulling his ragdoll body up against his own and put the t-shirt on, taking his time to untwist it around his skin, pulling the fabric down to cover him slowly, his hands lingering on him with caresses while Jason rested against him.

He got himself and Jason dressed in silence, cleaning up the car until Jason stopped him, a hand resting on his thigh.

“Roy… did you mean it?” – He asked opening his eyes.

“What?”

“All the stuff you said… you really feel that way about me?”

There was a sad desperation in his eyes and tone that cut through Roy like a dagger. It stabbed him making him regret all the times he’d pushed Jason away because he felt ashamed of how much he liked him, because he feared judgement and the slew of questions that would haunt him if anyone knew about them.

‘Are you out of your mind?’

‘Jason is dangerous! You can’t trust him!’

‘Jason is a killer, he’s not one of us!’

He blinked slow looking at Jason, the sweet and brave Jason who never gave up on him. His eyes darted behind Jason and his jacket in the backseat.

What did any of them know about killing? What did any of them know about the choice to kill? How could anyone think they knew more about killing and dying than Roy and Jason?

He swallowed hard.

“Jay… there’s two balloons in the left-side pocket of my jacket.” – He admitted.

“What th- okay…” – Jason widened his eyes. – “Okay…”

“I need you to get rid of it for me… or make sure I do… yeah?”

“Yeah, of course…”

Roy pulled Jason’s seat up with him still lying on it, slowly sliding down pressed between Roy’s body and the sweaty leather cushion underneath him.

“I meant every word I said… You… you’re more addictive than anything I’ve ever shot up in my veins… you’re harder to drop than any pill I’ve ever gotten hooked on… It’s so bad… I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it… I’m so selfish, I have to have you…” – He leaned down and kissed Jason.

“Roy…” – Jason moaned between kisses.

“I’m addicted to you, Jay.” – Roy said pulling back and breathing against Jason. – “You’re my worst addiction… by far… it’s not even close…”

“Sorry for making you relapse.” – Jason lied through a smug smile.

“No, you’re not…” – Roy laughed pressing him against the car seat and kissing him with a burning desire Jason’s lips only fuelled.

Jason’s love was so addictive, so precious and irresistible it was never enough. Every fuck, every kiss, every laugh only made Roy want more – it was never enough, a hunger he couldn’t sate no matter how much of him he had.

For the man with a stubborn list of addictions and bad habits, Jason Todd somehow managed to rank highest: an accomplishment Jason was selfishly proud of much to Roy’s frustration.

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