#cloud is raining

[darkcloudsatnight]

(Speaking like this song ends at 4:18)

THIS IS SO THEMMMMM AUGUGHHJ

THIS IS. SO THEM TO ME.

(And if were talking as if the song were to go all the way through, imagine it as Kakyoin didn't die (WHICH HE DIDN'T THE CANON ENDING TO PART 3 IS JUST GASLIGHTING YOU) its just- idk Kakyoin calling Jotaro back after recovering [somehow] and them building something from there because I can't grief properly over a fictional character and I'm constantly in denial)

[darkcloudsatnight]

FUCKKKKKKKK

[darkcloudsatnight]

ACE OF BASE MY LOVE YOU'VE GIVEN ME A STROKE OF GENIUS

Anyways enjoy reading this sh bc of the 7th comic releasing, my love for helmet party, and Ace Of Base's "Don't Turn Around".

Don't Turn Around

Song by: Ace Of Base

Ship: Helmet Party

Category: Angst

[Intro

Spoken:

(I will survive without you)^

(Don't tell me that you wanna leave)

(Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh

Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh) ]

^Dell looking into a mirror, repeating that sentence like a mantra. It's all he can do now....

Verse 1:

If you wanna leave

I won't beg you to stay

And if you gotta go, darlin'

Maybe it's better that way

Seeing Soldier with that unfamiliar lady was a little shocking to Dell, especially when there was something like a ring around her finger, even if it was just a grenade pin. He started to recall those little moments him and Soldier used to share before all this robot war nonsense went down. Before they were fired. Before Dell was called in to be Helen's personal Healthcare system. He saw how close that Soldier was to this woman, and he felt his heart clench with something like envy and heartbreak... but he knew he couldn't hold onto it. They were bound to drift apart anyways. It was better this way if he let Soldier go live his own life....

Bridge:

I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna do fine

Don't worry about this heart of mine

(Walk out that door, see if I care)

(Go on and go, but)

Dell knows that Soldier remembers what they had, but Dell knows now that Soldier has something better... something more acceptable. He tells him, "Don't worry 'bout me... go on 'n live yer life with yer new fiancé... I'll show up to the weddin' if I can but... y'know, work stuff... heh..."

He never showed up to the wedding, much to Soldier’s disappointment.

Chorus:

Don't turn around

'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking

Don't turn around

I don't want you seeing me cry

Just walk away

It's tearing me apart that you're leaving

I'm letting you go

But I won't let you know

I won't let you know

Dell is pushing Soldier away. He feels his heartstrings being torn at rather than plucked carefully, like how he played his guitar on late nights by a campfire for... Jane... but Dell can never tell him what he's sacrificing. Dell can never tell him about his remaining feelings that he's forced to release and forget about. Dell can never show Soldier how much this is hurting him. Dell can never show anything to him anymore. He can only push what they had farther into the pit of despair that was torn open inside of him. Inside of his heart.

Verse 2:

I won't miss your arms around me

Holding me tight

(Holding me tight)

And if you ever think about me

Just know that I'll be alright

(I'll be alright)

Dell is reassuring Soldier (and himself) that he's going to be okay with some alone time after all this happened. In private, away from prying eyes, he's reassuring Soldier he'll be fine without a relationship for a little. Solitude will allow him to clear his head from more than one problem... He tells Soldier to only remember him as a close friend... and to always assume that wherever he is... he's doing alright. He's doing fine. Just like he always says...

Bridge:

I'm gonna be strong, I'm gonna do fine

Don't worry about this heart of mine

(I will survive, I'll make it through)

(I'll even learn to live without you)

Dell again reassures Soldier he's okay over and over. He's a strong southern man after all... and southern men don't cry... at least not in front of people... but he never mentioned that last part...

He's telling himself he needs to learn how to live without Jane in his life... he can do it... he's lived this far getting through past relationships... how different was this one?...

Very different, Dell realized much too late.

Chorus:

Don't turn around

'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking

Don't turn around

I don't want you seeing me cry

Just walk away

It's tearing me apart that you're leaving

I'm letting you go

But I won't let you know

Dell is telling Soldier to never look back at what they had again. Telling him to only look forward at his future... he had a beautiful wife to look forward to... he had possible children in his future... a successful family... he shouldn't look back at the sobbing and pathetic Dell on the ground, flattened by his own boot like an ant. That's all Dell's feelings were, after all. Just another ant in the anthill of emotions, always being crushed by the boot of reality, until its nothing but a small smudge in the middle of the sidewalk of life.

Post-Chorus:

I wish I could scream out loud

That I love you

I wish I could say to you

Don't go

(As he walks away, he feels the pain getting strong)

(People in your life, they don't know what's going on)

(Too proud to turn around)

(He's gone)

As much as Dell wants to empty his heart and lungs out to Jane, tell him that Dell's loved him and has never forgot about him, no matter how long it's been, he knows he can't. He wants to so bad... but it's already too late. Soldier's gone. Getting married to a woman he truly loves... forever. And no one knew. Absolutely no one knew the tension going on between them. No one knew about that little red string between them was forcefully cut off... and Jane tries to truly belive that Dell doesn't need him anymore... no matter how much he needs Dell....

[Ending+Fadeout:

Don't turn around

'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking

Don't turn around

I don't want you seeing me cry

Just walk away

It's tearing me apart that you're leaving

I'm letting you go

Baby, don't turn around

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

Don't turn around

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

Just walk away

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

It's tearing me apart that you're leaving

I'm letting you go

Don't turn around

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)

Don't turn around

(Oh, oh, oh, oh)]

At this point... Dell's only talking to himself. Telling him to never look back at what he used to have... he's letting Jane go... doing what was right... and leaving himself in the dust... he's sacrificing his love because of its existence... and all that's left is his back in the distance as he walks away from what could have been...

(Song under cut)

[darkcloudsatnight]

Guys can I get yaoi my. Moms making me depressed

[darkcloudsatnight]

Okay okay

I don't personally hc this but like. Painis cupcake that used to be a normal soldier, he either just went insane or something happened with the respawn mechine or some other thing whatever you think happened. But engineer was there. He watched soldier turn into that and then he never saw him again

Until one night. Engineer had stayed after hours to collect whatever scrap metal he could, he did that most days but there was a lot today and he'd stayed till sun the went down. He didn't think to much of it until he saw the figure of a soldier a few feet away, he assumed it was the mean bastard they'd hired to replace his solly so he just braced for the soldier to yell at him but he never did. The soldier just stared at him, his helmet was titled back so Engie could see his eyes which was odd.. painis cupcake couldn't quite remember Engie. He was hungry but whatever scrap of his former self that remained forced him not to do anything. He just stood there. Starring

[darkcloudsatnight]

I think um

I think Soldier (BLU soldier) is very hesitant with giving affection and therefore doesn’t know how to receive it either

When Engie gives him affection he doesn’t know how to react

I kinda picture it like this:

(I genuinely headcanon that BLU Soldier doesn’t know how to receive affection at all)

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyessssssssssssssssssss

Bro I just love it when soldier doesn't know how to give affection it just ahshdbdhssbshsbsbssjshsjshbddhjsshbshsdhdbshhsshshdhdhdushsbsususbshsus it does something to me it makes me want to cry/pos

[darkcloudsatnight]

Engineer comforting Solly after his raccoon died

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[darkcloudsatnight]

Oh. That wasn't.

That wasn't what I was planning.

That wasn't how I expected my summer to go.