#cloudii speaks

[elysiancloudii]

Well I’ll be damned the robotic affirmations + sleep subs + visualization technique worked like a goddamn charm

I deadass shifted this morning, startled the hell out of myself

[elysiancloudii]

Time to get serious 😤🫡

[elysiancloudii]

A frustrated loass rant begging for help lol

TLDR: I tried to manifest a pencil and failed.

First off: I know The Law is real. I know that the 4D creates and the 3D is merely a reflection of it. I get all that.

However. I also exist in the 3D. I’m happy and thrilled any and every version of me has what she wants, all I want is for every version of me to have what she wants.

So why is my 4D not reflecting in my 3D? “Stop looking at the 3D”, “The 3D is irrelevant”

I exist here in the 3D too. 3D me found the law. If it’s that irrelevant, then why do the thoughts that the 3D me decides to think create? Or do the thoughts I actively choose to think not matter? Is it only my subconscious thoughts then? If that was true why have I manage to manifest with writing what I wanted on paper in the past and some of my subconscious fears not manifested? Was that just luck?

I don’t understand what made it work in the past but not now. I know the Law now and didn’t then. How much effort am I suppose to put in? How much is too much? Not enough? Where’s the line?

It feels like a huge “haha gotcha” when I want something in the both the 4D & the 3D and people are like “well if you really had it in the 4D then it would have reflected in the 3D clearly your dominant thoughts aren’t right”, “just assume”,

I literally said out loud: ‘I have a yellow number 2 pencil. I own a yellow number 2 pencil. I manifested a yellow number 2 pencil. I assume I have a yellow number 2 pencil.’

Every time my mind wandered to it, I would say these affirmations. I would tell myself ‘I don’t need to go buy one. I don’t need to know how I got it. The only thing that matters is I have a number 2 pencil.’ Then I began affirming that my 4D reflects to my 3D quickly.

It’s been a month.

I’m glad that my 4D self has the pencil, but why does the 3D me not have it too? “Oh well see, you’re assuming you don’t have it so you don’t” fuck off Give me tangible, actual help please

What am I doing wrong? It’s not suppose to be hard to manifest, I’ve affirmed it isn’t. Am I not saturating enough? Oh, and trust me, I’ve affirmed it’s easy for me to saturate my mind. So what’s enough? How do you know a dominant thought is dominant, especially with anxiety? (Yes, I’ve also affirmed that my anxiety doesn’t affect my manifestation abilities)

I’ve tried letting go, not actively affirming, just thinking in my favor whenever it does cross my mind.

I dreamt of pencils. I saw my coworker’s pencil at work. So why after a month has my 3D not conformed?

It feels like a huge “gotcha”. I don’t feel like I’m checking the 3D (yes I’ve affirmed checking the 3D doesn’t matter) but I should have my manifestations in the 4D and 3D so wtf am I doing wrong? What are others doing right? (Yes, I’ve affirmed that I’m not doing anything wrong too)

Im affirming regardless, but the fear and anxiety of this being a huge joke and that I’m a naive fool feels like being punched in the gut

I’m suppose to be the creator of my reality but it’s hard to feel like the dominant force when you haven’t managed to get anything in the 4D to reflect to the 3D

No, it’s more than that. I’m suppose to be the operant power but I can’t consistently get things to reflect from the 4D to the 3D on command. It’s not giving operant power lmao

[elysiancloudii]

My heart is extremely heavy today

[elysiancloudii]

Nights are the worst when you’re chronically lonely and suffering from heartbreak

Luteal phase ain’t helping either

Times like this I feel kinda guilty too. So many innocent people in the world have died that wanted to live, meanwhile I crave death. I really would’ve traded places with them if I could.

It’s fascinating to me how afraid of death people are. Like I get the “lizard brain” fight/flight aspect of the meat suit wanting to stay alive, but consciously fearing death?

I can’t wait for the peace and quiet

[elysiancloudii]

is there anything you're willing to share about your shift? :)

Took me about a week, I absolutely wavered but then would mentally tell myself “no I don’t want that thought”

Idk if shifting symptoms are a thing but I woke up randomly in the night with horribly dry mouth and that’s never happened to me before? I pretty much only drink water and tea and none of my meds have changed

I’m not great at visualization (like I can’t “see” and apple if I think of one””) but right before the shift I thought about what I wanted and had the clearest “picture” that I’d ever had

I was very grateful but also admittedly shocked lol

[elysiancloudii]

Time heals all wounds but some wounds leave you crippled

[elysiancloudii]

I need to figure out a way to stop working because I am so burnt out it’s actual insanity, I feel like I’m going to start crying from how much I hate being at work