Richie has a bad habit of just taking in animals — he’s got five cats who were previously strays and three dogs he’s found while driving home from work — that he finds outside, and one night he finds this dog, lets say a husky (have u ever heard that thing like women get dogs that represent the men they’re attracted to and men get dogs that represent themselves?? i think eddie would unconsciously do the first) that got out while Bill was dog sitting for Eddie while he was away for a weekend for work or smth. Eddie gets back, finds that his dog is missing, and like a smart owner, tracks it from the chip.
He walks up to Richie’s front door and when Richie opens it, the first thing Eddie says is “You stole my dog.”
“No I didn’t.”
Eddie goes up on his toes to look behind Richie, and sees his dog staring back at him, tongue lolled out of his mouth, just having the time of his life.
“That’s literally my dog right behind you.”
He goes on to explain that Bill sucks as a dog sitter but never has any plans so he was the only person available last minute and that he’d really appreciate it if he could get his dog back because “Man, he is basically my emotional support dog. I fucking need him back unless you want me to cry on your front porch. I’ll do it. Right now.”
omg yes!!! like
Bill probably hoped he’d be able to save Eddie the stress (and himself the absolute bollocking Eddie would give him) and find the dog himself, he has Mike and Ben out to search too. Maybe Eddie got back home earlier than expected, and he’s excited to see his dog. he missed him, and missed the routine
And at first he thinks that Bill must be out walking him, even though it’s not the usual time he goes out (he left a very detailed list and schedule) but then Bill comes back, face red, out of breath, panicked look on his face - especially when he sees Eddie’s home early
A moment of silence…
“Bill. Where the fuck is my dog.”
Richie? hes walking one of his bigger dogs, one that needs a little more exercise than the smaller ones, and a husky is suddenly bounding towards him, shaking its butt in that way dogs do when they’re excited. Maybe he smells like his dogs, maybe it’s the treats in his pocket. It doesn’t have a collar on, and so he whips out a spare he carries, just on the off chance that he comes across a stray (what’s he meant to do, just ignore collarless, sweet little animals on the street??)
He gives the dog a treat and goes the rest of his walking route. then takes him home. and he has a grand ole time!! he takes the cats into another room, just in case the husky isn’t a cat person? a cat dog? if he doesn’t find an owner he’ll slowly introduce them all
of course, he does plan to try and find the owner, he’s not a dog snatcher, but he’s just back from a long walk, he’s tired, and he has a (what seems to be a pure breed) husky in his house?
he wants to play with this dog!!!!!!
he finds out it knows a shit ton of tricks, when he pours our food for him the dog sits there staring, and after 5 minutes Richie realises he has to say “go”
and later in the day there’s a pounding on his front door, and a very angry looking, short, cute man glaring at him accusing him of stealing his dog
and he goes on his tippy toes to look over Richie’s shoulder, which he finds so fucking cute
before Eddie goes on his ramble. Richie teases the hell out of him, probably stalling so he gets to talk to the guy for a little longer
“how do i know he’s really your dog, huh?” though there really isn’t any doubt about it, “he didn’t have a collar on, you got some way to prove it?”
Eddie pulls up his instagram and sure enough theres pictures of himself and the husky (also smoothie bowls, gym pictures, and one of him at pride 👀) and Richie also gets to find out the guys name
“i swear he usually has a collar on. Bill was watching him - and Bills my best friend, but he’s an oblivious idiot, and i had nobody else to watch him while i was away. Man, he’s basically my emotional support dog. I fucking need him back unless you want me to cry on your front porch. I’ll do it, right now. I’ll cause a scene.”
Eddie absolutely knows he sounds like an idiot, but his chest is heaving with worry, and he wants his dog back
Richie can tell somethings up, and drops being an asshole, he invites Eddie inside (and quickly goes onto instagram to follow him) and it’s adorable how he drops to his knees and lets the husky lick at his face, just holds him close and murmurs cute nonsense. and as excited as the dog has been the entire time, it’s suddenly very still in Eddie’s arms except for the tail whacking against the floor
like it knows exactly what Eddie needs
obviously they do fall in love, and Richie does end up having to introduce the dog to his cats, Eddie usually hates cats but it takes very little convincing to get him warmed up to them
richie @ bill like “thanks for being such a shitty dog-sitter, my guy”
Mike, Bill and Ben all also notice how similar Eddie’s dog is to Richie, just a huge bundle of energy, smiley, big, and a little shit at times. and they tease Eddie endlessly about it
NO MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY UR TAKES ARE SO HOT IM IN LOVE WITH THEM LIKE??? THAT THING ABOUT THE FALCON??? them as teenagers ‘sneaking’ into the bar because everyone knows that queer kids sneak in there as some kind of safe haven so nobody really cares, if anything the older queers look out for them??? richie and eddie never being able to hold hands in public without putting themselves in danger, but they see people around them just being, so eddie grabs richie’s face and kisses him while fucking petshop boys or queen or something plays on a shitty jukebox and they both taste like shitty beer that someone let them have and they never felt unsafe and unwelcomed once after they walked through the door,,, just??? HHHHHHHH shut the fuck up abt ur plausible deniability u dumbdumb
I am blush.
But fuck yes, I want this for them. I want them to have somewhere they could go, even if they shouldn’t really be there and I want people in general to stop acting as if small town queers never, ever meet anyone or hook up, or come out because damn, I live in a town smaller than any estimates I can find for Derry (if we’re agreeing SK based Derry on Bangor, then in 1990 Bangor’s population was 33,181 and my towns was 4,811 in 1991) and I still managed to find people to hook-up with and other queers to make friends with. We gravitate towards each other.
crim au thought; richie is raised w the thought v identifying jewelry / accessories are a big no-no bc that kind of identification can get him pointed out in a crowd and into some big trouble (which his parents will not even bother trying to bail him out of bc they raised him better than that and richie, by law, is a serial killer, and they, by law, are also serial killers so it’s jst not fun for anybody) but after he and eddie get together, eddie starts to give him these v poorly made friendship bracelets that he made jst to keep his hands busy while he was drunk and richie is so conflicted bc he wants to wear them, but also like,,, a bracelet he can’t really take off?? he wears them anyways, and they start clumping together on his wrists from how many he wears bc eddie jst keeps giving them to him and he cant say no. other thought; collars? u seen those collar/bracelet matching sets? yeah. richie has one of those and refuses to take it off despite the fact that it’s a v bright / unique pattern. eddie has the other half and doesnt take it off either, but its jst the mutual respect (or lack thereof) that richie isn’t expected to take his off either
gonna tag the rightful owner, the king of the crime au @clownjizz please, add more as you see fit, i hope i do your genius justice
i can see the Tozier’s being very protective of Richie, but in a way that they had him learn self defence growing up, taught him how to shoot/reload a gun before 13, taught him ways to be aware of his surroundings. they played a lot of hide and seek growing up, to teach Richie how to move silently, and be creative about hiding. they’re a family of criminals but they still love their son
they didn’t allow him to wear anything too identifying, told him he couldn’t have any tattoos that were visible, he had a birthmark that they took him to get removed. which was a problem when he got to his teen years and went through a mild punk phase, bc he wanted to stand out and be rebellious (but his parents were criminals, he was a criminal, he knew how to fire a gun with almost exact accuracy. so what else is there to rebel about??)
he’d seen his parents in turmoil bc they were each others weaknesses. Particular Maggie, who like Richie, is shoot first ask questions later. Richie tells himself he won’t ever have that kind of weakness, can’t have a lover used against you if you dont fall in love. so it was strings of fuck buddies
and then he met Eddie. who ends up being his soft spot, ends up loving him, which pisses him off to no end. bc he’ll kiss Eddie before his races, pull him onto his lap and suck bruises into his skin, on the occasion Eddie’s sucked marks into visible parts of his body too. everything he was against
and then Eddie starts making those stupid friendship bracelets, something to keep him busy while the rest of the group talk guns n shit. Richie scoffs at first, bc he’s a hitman he doesn’t wear colourful sappy shit like that, but then Eddie gets all moody
“Fine, I’ll give it to Bill or something then, asshole” reaches out to take it back, and Richies snatching it towards himself
“Fuck you.” catches himself, fakes cockiness “You made it ‘specially for me, Princess, i wouldn’t wanna hurt your feelings like that” as if he doesn’t feel jealous at the thought of Bill or anybody else being gifted something, as if the thought of it being taken away doesn’t make him feel something
so against every rule he’s been taught, he keeps every single one Eddie gives him. some on his wrist, some on his car keys. he’s held a gun up to somebody’s face for even hinting at making fun of him.
"Do you think I was too harsh? I feel like I was too harsh."
"You are one of the only people I have watched torture a person and ask a question like that. No, you weren't too harsh, sir."
"It's just his dad just- y'know, then I tell him he has to pay all of this money and, I was incredibly rude. I blew out the candle for his dad! If someone did that at my dad's funeral, they would be a dead man!"
"Eds, calm down. You are going to push yourself into a panic attack."
"I just- I just. Gosh Rich, what am I doing? I can't do this. It's been a month and - I - I just can't"
"Babes, you're just tired. We can talk about this in the morning."
"no that's the problem, I can't- I can't do this anymore. Not without my dad."
"Look kid, I have known your dad forever. He was a good man, for the most part."
"Shut up man-"
"He ever caught you talking about yourself like that he would tell you that you are wrong. Of course, then he would beat the shit out of me for letting you talk about yourself like this."
‘lets mess with time and get eddie laid’ yes pls i love those kind of fics, time loop / travel fics are so underrated.
I am writing a fix it that involves time-travel adjacent stuff - Eddie from pre-Derry 2.0 and Richie from post Derry 2.0 find they can communicate with each other across time and work together to make sure Stan and Eddie don’t die because I love the whole concept of time-loops and also whatever was happening in Quantum Leap where certain events needed to be fixed.
And yes, it gets Eddie laid. The whole fic is basically ‘what if Eddie came back to Derry knowing Richie was in love with him?’ and the answer is that gay love can stop death and kill a clown monster from space.
I love every single version of ‘Richie gets trapped in a time loop because he needs to confess his love to save Eddie’ that I have read.
I think IT lends itself really well to time-fuckery. You’ve got the Deadlights. You’ve got Derry that seems to be almost stuck outside of time itself, like a little pocket dimension that anyone who leaves forgets the existence of. You’ve got the Losers missing memories and missing years. You’ve got all the different visions in different decades. There are so many options for why things are happening and how they’re happening.
You have just been one of the most supportive people with my writing (No matter how little it’s been) and I feel like the whole reason I’m still writing my creepy Went fic is for you.
