#clueless moms

[pasta--sauce]

SO THIS WEEKEND ME AND MY FAMILY WENT CAMPING WITH OUR RAZORS AND MY DAD BROUGHT A PORTABLE GRILL TO GRILL. SO IT WAS STARTING GETTING LATE AND WE WERE GONNA HAVE HOT DOGS SO MY DAD HAD TO START HIS GRILL OF COURSE SO MY MOM WENT, "Hun, can you start your little thingy? Well not your little thingy, you have a big thingy, but can you start your grill?" SO MY BROTHER WAS LIKE 'YOU BASICALLY SAID DAD HAD A BIG DICK." So my mom replied "Well it is genetics so you probably have a big one too" AND SHE SAID THAT INF RONT OF HIS FRIEND TOO. THEN LATER ME AND MOM WENT FOR A RIDE AND GOT SOME WOOD FOR THE MORNING AND WHEN WE GOT BACK SHE WAS LIKE "Ok this is for the morning. This is the morning wood' AND WE ALL STARTED LAUGHING REALLY HARD. LET ME REMIND YOU THAT SHE IS ONE OF THE REALLY INNOCENT MOMS WHO USUALLY KNOWS NOTHING.

[aphrodites-mark]

I was telling my mom about House of Hades and she gave me a confused look before she shook her head like she wasn't even gonna ask.

[actualconversation]

An Actual Conversation with Scott's Mom About the Internet

Submitted by Scott

Mom:  I wasn’t able to load contacts into my email, and the computer started running really slow, so I called Outlook and they helped me out.

Scott:  You called "Outlook?"

Mom:  Yep, Microsoft Outlook.  They walked me through the problem.  Turns out that people are getting onto my…not my Scottrade account…but onto my internet.

Scott:  Your "internet?"  Do you mean your network?

Mom:  I’ve seen them outside, parked.  We’re getting all of their viruses.

Scott:  Wait, but -- you don’t even use Outlook.

Mom:  I used to use Firefox...

Scott:  Fire.... Mom, that’s totally different. Firefox is a web browser. Outlook is email software. And you may have called Microsoft, which is a company.  All unrelated.

Mom:  Did I do something wrong?

Scott:  No, you didn't do anything wrong.  You’re just not using the right words and as a result, this is making no sense.

Mom:  (long pause)  Is it because of the people getting onto my internet?

[actualconversation]

An Actual Conversation With Annie's Mom About Teabagging

Submitted by Annie

Mom:  What does it mean to "teabag" someone?

Annie:  (suppresses laughter)

Mom:  What did he mean when he said he wants to "teabag that girl?"  

Annie:  Well...it has to do with testicles...

Mom:  (long pause)  Like, when you hold them in your hands like tea bags?

[yellowcrayonwillow-archive]

*Showing my mom a Doctor Who picture I made* Me: ...Yea, and the TARDIS doesn't look like it did before I outlined it... *my mom looks at the dalek on the page* Me: ...that's a Dalek *mom turns head and looks at the TARDIS* Me: There you go

[actualconversation]

An Actual Conversation with my Mom About Celebrities

Submitted by Katelyn

Katelyn:  Mom, guess who this is! (points to a vintage photo of Stephen Colbert)

Mom:  Um...I'm not really sure.

Katelyn:  It's.... (scrolls down and points to a recent photo of Stephen Colbert)

Mom:  (blank look) ...Paul McCartney?