Things happen if you got this far in general, I'm just happy you're still reading it . Asexuality mentioned and kinks , so if that's not your thing then probably don't read this 
( book series never spy , face claim Jack Quaid, you know the drill)
I woke up to a pounding headache, and a sound , which I realized was me talking. I felt restrained and when I tried to move my mouth stopped moving and i gasped, like I had not taken a breath in a long while. " thank god," a familiar voice sighed. I blinked realizing I was still in the car but I was in Spiders lap. His arms slowly let me go before he tilted my face up to him to scan it. " what happened," I croaked my throat raw . He sighed looking concerned," I'm not sure , the people who implanted the information or device in you must have been close by and activated you." I blinked trying to get out of his arms and he jumped a bit ," s..sorry , you were thrashing around and saying a lot of things so I recorded it on my phone and held you to make sure you didn't hurt yourself ." I settled back into my seat ," what did I say." He sighed and grabbed his phone ," lots of nonsense, it could be a code, I'll have to anylize it ." I nodded and sniffled a bit, tears rolling down my cheeks . "Hey don't cry , it's okay, we're gonna take you to the hospital to do a cat scan, we're just waiting for Kane to come in the other car," spider explained gently rubbing his thumb under my eyes to brush the tears away . I looked up at him and blurted ," Gosh you're pretty." He froze and I blushed ," fuck I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it out loud ." " you're definitely delirious,"he said worried ,going to pull away and call Kane. I huffed as I heard the phone ring.
I watched him smiling ,a blush creeping up his cheeks again As he tapped his finger on the steering wheel." Kane are you almost here, I think she's delirious," he said urgent," yeah her eyes seem unfocused and she's saying... things." I smiled broadly and yelled," I'm not delirious I just called him pretty, which he is." Spider let out a soft squeak at my outburst and I heard a chorus of laughter over the phone. He snapped the phone shut and rounded on me, more flustered than angry," you , are nothing but trouble." I tried to smile innocently as I said," what did I do?" He huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
" why do you find it so weird that I find you attractive," i asked gently after the silence had stretched on for far too long. He groaned again and glanced over at me before fixing his eyes back on the road. He swallowed and fidgeted with his hands again before saying," I've never had someone like me before.... that I liked back." He spoke with a quivering voice, almost like the words were volatile.
I froze at the realization, I'd flirt with people all the time especially with people I liked never expecting anything back. Hell I'm almost 30 and still havnt had a solid boyfriend , I thought I was too much for anyone to like me like that . " too much and not enough," I whispered making him seize up again," that's how you feel right? Like you're always too much for people to handle but also fall short in ways." He swallowed, his voice wavering," yeah... that's exactly it." He looked over with a swirl of emotions in his eyes , confusion , pain , then recognition , that I was a lot more like him than I thought. " I'm asexual," I felt myself blurt before I could hold it back," just to put it out there .. before whatever goes... anywhere." " that's...what exactly does that entail," he asked a bit confused. I licked my lips slightly, always wary about this conversation," I don't get sexual urges, towards people." He blinked and I continued," not that I wouldn't be willing to try but I think I have some issues down there in general because... well you don't need to know that , but I just don't know if I find it enjoyable, but I love cuddles and kisses and holding hands and kink play , so I mean that's still something." He choked as I said the last part ," wait wait wait ." I blushed and looked over at him ," sorry I gave a big mouth and no filter." He looked over at me his eyes wide ," no no , it's not that... I don't know i guess I didn't realize just.. how much we are a like." It was my turn for my face to burn," oh."
( book series never say spy, face claim Jack quaid )
I was still freaking out a bit so to calm myself I leaned back in the beanbag chair and tried my best to space out a little , pretending I was anywhere else. I began mouthing the words to the songs and playing all the air instruments. I was using my headphones to skip songs I wasn't feeling so it wasn't till I heard Spider say loud enough for me to hear," you sure got quiet the diverse taste in music." That i realized he had been looking through my phone. "HEY GIVE THAT BACK," i snapped grabbing it from his hand. " Kane told me to check through it," he said putting his hands up. I felt my face go red as my mind conjured up all the fanfic I had stored on there. He looked a bit red in the face too as he shoved his hands back in his pocket," you seem to be quite creative too." I glared at him without much malice behind it," I wasn't expecting anyone to root through my private things." He nodded ," you seem to write a lot." I snapped," that is between me and the like two people who read it on tumblr okay!" He nodded clearly getting more flustered," I just didn't expect that from you that's all." I groaned and rubbed my face," well I'm happy to entertain you ." He went to go walk back to his chair and looked back over at me opening and closing his mouth a few times before adding ," but Benji Dunn really? You made like 10 fics about him ." " I'm no longer having this conversation," I said pressing the headphones firmly over my ears. I watched his mouth move slowly as if he was talking to himself. His face was still red as he seemed to say ," makes sense why you like me."
I felt my heart falter as I tried to turn my focus back to my music but it wasn't working . " sorry enya you're not cutting it," I mumbled putting it back in my bag. I wandered over to see what Spider was looking at and saw all of my social media pulled up . I felt my insides clench ," is this really necessary ?" He nodded without looking at me ," we have to see if there were any possible contacts or views from anyone in the network. You have a lot of public profiles, that's not super safe." " well I'm not in the fbi or whatever so it dosent matter now does it," I grumbled. "I guess ," he said seeming more composed than he did before, I assume he was like me when he gets in work mode he can't be phased much. I decided to test how deep the work mode went," sooo what did you think of my Benji Dunn fanfics then?" His grip on his mouse tightened a bit and he swallowed forcefully ," I didn't read them I just saw the titles ." I huffed ,"well that's no fun!" He began typing a bit more intentionally. " am I distracting you ," I said leaning on his shoulder . He jumped a bit but made no move to get away from me ," no.....you're fine." I bit back my response which was going to be me saying " so are you." I didn't want to kill the guy. I smirked ," make sure you're keeping an eye on that tumblr." I grabbed my phone and sat back down . He looked at me warily as I made a post that said " Hey guysssss how would you like a new fic about a like a younger Benji Dunn esk character that works for like special intelligence and has more of a Jesse eisenberg esk look to him? So like tech analyst dude that is like super sweet and stuff , I think that would come out great don't you?" I posted it and he glanced over at the part of the screen where he had tumblr up then said" AMY DELETE THAT NOW!" I smirked " delete what?" I refreshed my page to see he already deleted it . " awww come on you're no fun, and anyway don't you think that would look more suspicious," I pressed but he wasn't talking anymore. Kane came in holding a stack of papers and said ," I don't know how you got him to be quiet but I'm impressed, can you please sign this NDA?" I got up and flipped through the papers half heartedly, " is there a specialty clause where if I get activated and spill secrets I'm not liable ?" He nodded and said " right here don't worry." I relaxed and slowly signed it , I guess this was my new life till this was fixed.
