#cm.personal

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

Why would you bring 4-9 year olds to see FREAKING DEADPOOL 2?

What is wrong with parents?

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

Setting up for a garage sale, and a lady tried to steal a bunch of clothes while my husband and I were switching places. He stopped her, but she held up a bunch of clothes (at her car!) and asked how much for them. When I got to her she was saying he'd said a dollar per item, when he'd said a few dollars. She then turned down my price of three dollars each for two dresses. I guess any price is too high when you wanted them free. Found out she does that a lot. So that's cool.

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

I don’t wanna do the dishes. This is what I get for letting them pile up for a few days. Maybe if I watch YouTube videos it won’t be so bad.

And yes, this is a bathroom sink. We don’t have an actual kitchen for now. Luckily the sink/vanity is separate from the shower/toilet. Otherwise this would suck so much more.

This is also the latest I've been up/alone in a while. Old habits die hard apparently...

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

I love that not liking your life choices is a valid excuse for other people to understand why people might treat you badly. In this case one sister in law, in response to me saying another sister in law doesn't like me, said it's probably not me, it's what I'm doing (marrying someone no one approves of) and, like, sure?? I guess, but why does that make her treatment of me OK? And also, it started before I was engaged, so I call shenanigans.

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

Being an adult is ridiculous and overrated. And it’s even worse when you’re struggling to handle your newly diagnosed anxiety, intense pressure and disapproval of life choices on family, planning a wedding (that they disapprove of) and government bureaucracies are less than helpful and private companies don’t feel the need to be forthcoming with information.

I’m trying so hard to keep it all together. My mom thinks my anxiety is from brain injuries, and that is contributing to making these decisions she disapproves of (so that laces through all conversations.) Most of my life she’s been more spiritual in her approach to mental problems. Which I ascribe to, to a point. I used to complain about stomach aches in elementary school, b/c I was afraid to go to school. Expected stuff. So in high school when I say I’m having trouble seeing, she thinks I’m lying or exaggerating. She brings it up then, and at other times, like when I worry about my mental state the first time.

But now that I’m marrying someone they disapprove of, she’s all on board with helping me figure out mental stuff. I’ve shelled out for a therapist, I’m working on stuff the therapist has for me. I’m working on the spiritual aspect of things. I’m doing everything I can to make sure I’m “in my right mind” and it is never going to be enough. And it’s getting in the way of my relationship with my fiancee. 

My fiancee, who has been incredibly supportive our whole entire relationship. Who bought me a recipe book for the paleo diet when I realized I couldn’t have dairy regularly. Who has given me money to help me make ends meet. Who has been on the other end of the phone call, listening to me cry my heart out over the stupidest things, and the worst things. 

I thought I was on top of adult things today, and I was so proud, and then it sort of went crashing down. And he helped me through it. While my mom rambles on about homeopathic stuff (which I am not inherently against, but she’s not big on drugs with side effects) and implies my wanting to marry this man is because of brain injuries and anxiety’s effect on my brain. I love that she’s helping, but is it ok to say “too little too late?”

She and I used to have a great relationship, and then I moved out and became my own person and we didn’t mesh, and ... I don’t know.

I’m just tired of fighting family who hardly has time for me when I’m finally choosing my happiness and my life over catering to them. I’m done waiting on them to invite me to things and to find time for me. I’ve found someone who fits so perfectly with me. I just don’t have the courage to move forward outside of the “set plan”. 

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

So...

Today at church a friend (idk, more than acquaintance, but I don't really socialize w/her?) came up to me, and as she was about to hug me, her eyes dropped to my stomach (I'd just eaten RIGHT before arriving) and her hand reached out and was about to touch my stomach and she looked back up like "are you...?" and I straight up was just

"oh, no, I'm just fat".

I love this woman she's a sweetheart. But she also asked me a month or so after I got married if I was expecting/we were trying for kids.

I feel kind of bad b/c I think she was a little embarrassed (not as much as you'd think... But still) but what do you say?!? I have some pudge, I could possibly be I that first trimester of "fat or pregnant?" but I've looked like this for a while.

Anyway. Just wanted to share. I was cracking up after she left. I didn't want her to feel bad.

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

My husband’s coworker is terrible

So my husband and one of his coworkers are doing maintenance at freaking Netflix headquarters. It's getting to be the time he's already home, unless it's a bad traffic day or he has errands to run. So I give him a call, b/c I'm a little concerned, but also lonely and cold.

So I call, and ask what's up. I can tell from the echo/background noise he's still at work. I ask him what's going on, and I hear his coworker say "We're watching Stranger Things". I Love stranger things. I am eagerly awaiting season 3. So at first I'm really excited (like how a dog perks up at certain words and sounds) but then I realize he's watching it without me, but also, his coworker might just be yanking my chain. He was, the jerk, and I told him as much.

So anyway, that's cool. He sent me two pictures from there, possibly both Stranger Things related. A bike, and a book with Barb on the cover.

[chocolate-mintdromeda]

Every bad ass lady in armor I draw becomes Joan of Arc.

Even if it's not explicitly her... Trust me, it's her.