#cmar: 12

[minniepetals]

after reading the latest chapter, I re-read the first 3 chapters and can I just say that if hobi's the voice of reason in your fics, then I think tae is the one who easily gets soft with your Y/Ns and I'm living for it! (I may have cried a river again while re-reading the first 3 chapters 🫣)

After re-reading I noticed that tae and y/n were in a similar situation before but the difference now in the latest chapter is that he's physically in the same room and witnessing everything first hand 🤯

💕💕patiently waiting for the next chapter! 💕💕

i created tae's character to be that antisocial and introverted person who pretends he doesn't like affection (towards hobi especially because hoseok loves showing off his affections -- tae's kinda like a tsundere) but will make an exception towards our y/n. his approaches towards her has always been soft and gentle. he loved her through sweet words and tender touches. the maknae's relationships are like this; jimin's the playful goofy type who will always try and force the other two into his shenanigans and while taehyung always says no and sticks to his words, jungkook always gets roped in. so whenever jimin tries to bring y/n along, tae's taking her away before she can get in trouble with the other two (though really no one gets upset at her or jungkook because everyone knows jimin's the troublemaker) and they have their little moment of peace and quiet.

taehyung's quiet for the most part but his love and care is loud, hence it will always hurt y/n when he did nothing to stop namjoon from belittling her. her relationship with the other boys are just as special as it is with namjoon, hence the words "you're just as bad as the abuser" and her forgiveness towards them will be as hard as it will be with namjoon. they're at fault too.

[minniepetals]

loved the new chapter so much!!! but i have one question,, was it y/n who plucked yuna's eyes out or did i read wrong? why?? i get the trust issues thing but,, it seems cruel :( or did i just forget a really important detail??

haha don't worry, i'll address it more during the reveal. it wasn't necessarily about trust issues, just know that yuna did something that could have jeopardized their secrets and you know they couldn't have afforded anything to be revealed to y/n's father and his reapers 💔

[minniepetals]

Ooh I wonder how much of the whole thing the rest of BTS heard and took in-

I'm so glad we have another ally like Hyunjin (he is a true ally, right...?)

Will Taehyung be with y/n during all of their time in London? Or will he rotate out with the others?

-😦 anon

it'll only be taehyung who will stay by y/n's side during this whole mission because unlike the rest, the boys' faces are more recognizable to the public. taehyung's a hacker so he doesn't have the obligation to go out, his missions are mostly inside a lab, helping the others in a room, therefore namjoon chose him to go with y/n because that'll make things less suspicious for leehyun. they don't want leehyun to recognize someone after all, hence taehyung plays the role of y/n's father's subordinate. he's the only one that can get away with it without the risk of anything. and as he's with y/n, he carries a sort of device that allows the others to listen in (including the reapers) in case something goes wrong and stuff like that. so yeah, the rest of them heard everything that went on in chapter 12.

and yep! hyunjin's a true ally here. he proved his goodness years ago when he got rid of his father so he couldn't hurt y/n physically any longer.

[minniepetals]

I just finished reading chapter 12 and wow you wrote it beautifully. I feel like I’m in Taehyung’s shows. Like taehyung, I don’t know what yn went through and its scary. I don’t know how the boys will handle it after knowing this side of yn. I also don’t know how yn will handle this mission. It feels so heavy.

I love and hate that this part of the story has been going for 2 chapters now. I want to know more. The pacing is making me want more. 😭 I hope nothing bad happens to yn. 😭

Anyway, I love how you wrote this chapter. I think this is my favorite chapter when it comes to how you wrote it. I can imagine it clearly and the story just flows beautifully. I also feel the eeriness of it. I feel how haunting this is to yn. You did well! I can’t wait for the next chapter!

-🌺

ahhhhh thank you bub!! taehyung was able to witness a side to y/n that even she isn't aware of. y/n knows she doesn't sleep well at night, that's why she hates sleeping, but she doesn't know that when she does manage to rest, her body will just wake up on its own and it'll be like sleep walking, where she's sorta just standing in the room mindlessly. it's something only the reapers are able to help with (because she's used to their touches and can recognize them even in sleep) and they've never told her about this so now the boys knows a part of her that she has yet to realize. she's going through so much, poor babie 🥺

it's nice to pace out the chapters because yeah, this is one of her biggest abusers despite the fact that he was taken away (thankfully) by hyunjin because even then the trauma stays and doesn't go away even if the abuser themselves leave. i'm glad you really enjoyed this chapter. we get a taste of y/n's more vulnerable side 💗

[minniepetals]

Taehyung, only if you know about everything she has been through those 10 years. I'm sure you would blame yourself..

And Yuna come to bring Y/n back to sleep again is so adorable. I think that a vulnerable side of Y/n, right? The reapers and Y/n has sure a deep bond which I'm so jealous of ಥ‿ಥ but Y/n is so precious so protect her at all cost!

Why does this chapter remind me if this line in the song Who by BTS and lauv?:

Who are you? 'Cause you're not the girl, I feel in love with, baby Who are you? 'Cause something has changed. You're not the same, I hate it.

I hate to say this but if we can just imagine all the things she has been through, would we do the same as her? Would we be so brave as her? Cause I know I wouldn't. I would just pull a bullet in my head (•‿•)

But I need to tell you how much I love your writing like you use the best words every and like idk it just some lines are my motivation now.

"You're just as bad as the abuser."

"You have to give a part yourself to reach something much better." (I don't remember how it was written correctly but that how I formula it) and much more Tbh. Keep up the good work and I can't wait for more but btw.. can you upload something to keep me busy?

I have been reading your stories over and over again now 🤣🤣

Love you! - CeoAlpaca

omg those lyrics from who though omg they actually go so well with cmar. taehyung (and the rest) will definitely have a looootttt of thinking to do once they realize everything oop. also about the question as to us being in y/n's position and how we'd be able to handle things, i think in a future chapter, i'll address it subtly and we'll see more how of she handled things through more flashbacks and stuff -- because as you know, there's still a lot of things that you readers don't know (regarding what happened during those 10 years so honestly the reveal will not only be for the boys and for the reapers but it'll be a reveal for you guys too haha).

also i'm so happy i've been able to create quotes for you ahhhhh. i'm glad they can motivate you.

i try to write something small in the meantime while writing cmar but like,,,every time i write something else, it always ends up a series lmao, or they get too big. i can't write anything small now brUH. remember those drabble asks? and how a few of them turned into series?? those series are like around 10k when you put them all together bro i cant. things used to be so much simpler back then 🤡

[minniepetals]

These quotes from the latest chapter of cmar tho…

“You can take it, can’t you? Just a little longer and it’ll all be over.”

And…

“Where is the pillar you need the most? Where is your calm?

You shut him out.”

These two quotes really hit hard for me whilst I was reading, and gosh did I feel my heart aching and breaking for mc… I just felt like yelling at Taehyung through the screen the entire time when reading that segment, and I wish I can yell that she’s literally hanging on by a thread!! He legit has no right to care for her now that he was able to see her “invisible tears.” My heart also goes out to Yuna… I just want to hug her and the rest of the loyal Reapers… they deserve all the happiness and love 🥹 Can’t wait to see the others’ povs soon too. Aish, I’m rambling again hahaha

P.S. (Love TaeTae and ot7 in rl 💜 but legit irked with him in this book, along with the rest of ot7🔥)

- fired up🌻 anon *huff*

(yes yes, i understand when you're trashing out the boys it's cmar boys and not our bts boys irl lmao)

honestly as i'm writing out this revenge portion when leehyun, it's definitely gonna bring some questions out of the boys where they'll finally realize something. y/n will have to rely on them to a certain extent because she doesn't have her reapers and taehyung's by her side 24/7 -- mingyu told him to never leave her alone cuz he's afraid of what leehyun might do if they're alone and namjoon told the boys mingyu's words takes precedence because he knows mingyu knows you more than them and knows what's good for you. but you're right, taehyung doesn't have any right to care for her just because she's at a low point.

and he understands that.

[minniepetals]

Nothing about cmar went the way I thought it would. I totally expected her to stay soft and naive and the boys would find out through the grape vine she wasn’t the way they thought and they’d end back up together

that was what a lot of people thought. since chapter 3 came out, most of the asks were about how they want the boys to find out on their own through accidents and stuff (like they witness y/n's abusive father and things like that) and i just sat in my room laughing because no one had any idea for what i planned lmao. there were a few asks about how they wanted to see y/n become the villain in her story or like small little demands about that. no one knew i had everything planned out ever since i decided to make cmar a series so it was a nice plot twist for them 🤧💓

[minniepetals]

I thought today was the chapter release 😭

I’m from asia and got confused with the time 😭

i can’t wait anymore 😭

-🌺

lmaoo, timelines get confusing at times that's why i said est (eastern standard time). just know next time i put a date up, it'll be the day before for you 💗