#cmonreally

[daaknessartist]

This is why I need to just be evil all the time..

When  you give a “Heart-warming comments that are original and specific to the person,”   they give you a cookie cutter thank you that  they give everyone else.

sometimes getting nothing is better than a cheap cookie.    #notthathungry

[bayouolive]

AHEM

Dear off-brand salad place in O'hare: If you are going to sell a "Monterrey jack attack salad" or whatever janky ass name you are giving the generic southwestern salad, here are a few tips: 1) Maybe you should have black beans. I dk in what world cannelloni beans belong in a tex-mex salad, but it isn't this one. 2) There has to be some kind of chipotle dressing. You could literally just serve a container of lettuce covered with that dressing and it'd pass as a southwestern salad better than yours just did. 3) Limes or lime powder even would also help you. 4) Don't expect points for tortilla strips. Kthnxbye, Olive