can I request a m!reader with Task Force 141, (feel free to add any other group if you w) very angsty…..I NEEF THE ANGST OK???? PLS
the m!reader gets placed into the 141, just being a very joyful and playfully sarcastic person all around that everyone can get along with well. M!reader suffers from depression and is very good at masking it, putting up a really strong facade and front. He is pretty introverted and extroverted, he can be very active but also clammy and avoidant at times when he is asked personal questions, deflecting them subtly. He’s mostly quiet-ish, not too loud but loud enough sometimes you can hear him
M!reader is trying to be useful to 141, doing anything but relaxing for a moment. The first to notice anything strange would be Ghost or Price, just a weird change in their mood as they do. Slowly his mask is breaking as they could see the life in his eyes practically slowly drain away, looking as if he had mentally broken
Shortly after all of 141 notices eventually, they would sometimes ask or pry, but m!reader responds with a smile and re-assurance but it’s bs….. they can feel it too but he is still telling them he’s alright. M!reader is slowly losing it internally, but anyways………..,.😭😭😭😭😭😭
M!reader always goes outside during the night and silently breaks down on rare occasions, when he does he just letting the tears fall. This time though 141 follows him outside where m!reader breaks down, anguished filled cries and many years of mental and or physical torment where it makes someone’s heart ache. M!reader is not known to cry so this is a first for them, whispering to himself self-deprecation as 141 now just steps in and comforts the poor m!reader 🥺🥺
[A/n:Thank you for requesting]
Summary:On the outside your a super fun and cheerful guy but in the inside your hurting and you slowly start to lose your cheerfulness
Type:Scenario: 141 X M!Reader
You were the most cheerful person. Always having a large smile on your face, cheering others up, etc, etc. You were a happy guy, sorta. There were times when your mask would break, showing your unsettling blank face staring off, but that only happens when you're alone. If someone finds you like that, you were originally alone. Some people, like Ghost, had doubted your happiness due to the fact your in the military, you've seen hundreds die, you've possible been tortured, kidnapped, starved, had to survive with barely anything at your grasp, he wouldn't know, you didn't originally join the 141, so he didn't know, but what Ghost did know was the smile never left, your eyes would sometimes tell other stories but the smile, it was like...frozen there, forever. Price was another to suspect you, mainly because you avoid personal questions like it's a grenade, aka as much as possible you try to run away from it, or throw it back. Getting something personal out of you was like finding a whale in Ohio(as an ohioan, there are no whales. But there a law about them), it's not gonna happen. Trust Price, he's tried. But other than that, only the sometimes emotionless eyes or sad eyes make him wonder if you're really happy. No one else really noticed. They didn't pay enough attention or didn't spend enough time with you to notice. But either way, it wasn't easy to notice. But eventually, you started to break, every act you've put on it coming to an end. Your smile became weaker, less happy. Your eyes become droppy with sadness. You stopped being so cheerful, less talkive, and you couldn't hold on to the act much longer. You stayed outside longer, the crying for hours on end, you were stressed, overworked, overwhelmed, sad, a lot of things but happy wasn't one of them. You tried to talk to Price, but it didn't work. He was either too busy or you were too scared. You also tried telling Rodolfo, That didn't work either. You changed the subject before even mentioning the original subject. You started to activity avoid mentioning it. How much longer could you hold up? Not much longer, let's say that. It's currently taking everything in your power to not break down in front of everyone. It is hard even lasting all day. Shivering from the cold, you hug your knees to your chest, thinking about how to deal with tomorrow. You had nothing planned, but you heard Soap was gonna try and hang out with you, which you were fine with. Sighing, you wiped your tears and stood up. Dusting your pants off, you walked back inside, telling everyone you were just tired when they asked if you were okay. Laying down you looked over at Gaz, your bunk mate, who was asleep, not necessarily sound asleep since he snores a lot, along with random words, like mac...one of the most common words he says. Sometimes you think it has something to do with mac & cheese, that his one of his favorite easy meals to eat. Rolling back over, you let out a small whimper, holding back your tears. You hugged yourself and took a deep breath. Letting yourself fall asleep, for once. When you woke up, Gaz was gently shaking you. Looking at him, it was abit blurry and the light shining in your eyes made it hurt to look in his direction.
"Heeeyyy, morning sleepy head. You need to get up we got training to do"
Gaz smiled at you, a warming smile that would make your heart warm slightly. Giving a weak smile back, you slowly got up. It was more difficult than most days. It was like you had shackles weighing you down. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you stared down at the floor watching the shadow of Gaz go from one side to the other side. He was walking around getting ready for the day. Looking up at him, you watched him tighten his belt before looking over.
He still had that smile. Nodding, you stood up and hurried to get ready. Once you're done getting ready, Gaz had already left the room. Looking in your mirror, you took a deep breath a couple of times, making eye contact with yourself. You saw those sad eyes, rubbing your eyes. You looked back at yourself, still with sad eyes. You sighed and gave a smile, making sure to have the wrinkles by your eyes to give the effect of a real smile. Nodding to yourself, you walked out and headed to where Gaz was. You did your best, not enough to please Ghost, but enough to not break down. Going into the kitchen, you stood there staring at the sink. You rarely eat, ever since that wave if depression hit you for the first time your eating habits got worse and worse, you got skinner and skinner, but stronger since you were in the military. Sighing you walked out of the kitchen without eating anything, again. König watched you leave, confused he looked at the skin where you were looking. There was only a cup overfilled with water, but you could see your reflection. König looked the way you left. You walked with your head low, staring at the floor you walked on. Everyone made sure not to run into you or make sure you don't run into them. Walking to Prices office you knocked on the door. Silence. Groaning you knocked again. More Silence.
You yelled with the happiest tone you could muster. Again, silence.
Opening the door you peeked in.
It was dark, flicking the light on you looked around confused. Price wasn't there at all. Sighing you turned around, turning the light off and closing the door, you looked around turning to think of where he could have gone. Walking around you looked for the captain, and you kept looking until evening. Looking over you seen Soap looking at you from across the room. Smiling, he waved you over. Smiling back at him with a wide, warm smile, you trotted over to him.
"Hey Soap, how's it going?"
You and Soap talked for awhile. Cracking jokes, talking about multiple different things, etc. After awhile you said you had to go. Going outside you looked around for Price alittle more, sighing you layed down, and stared up at the stary sky. The moon sighing bright.
"Are you sure about this captain?"
Soap asked while they all walked to the back door. Captain had seen how cautious and panicked you looked awhile looking for him. So much so that you didn't notice him. Ghost was walking next to Soap, with Gaz behind them trying to keep up with them, a tad bit to tired to fully process what's going on.
"You didn't see his face, now did you?"
Price looked back at Soap who shook his head no. Nodding Price opened the doors with both hands, looking around he seen you laying down, staring up at the sky quite far away from them.
Price didn't point at you or nothing, just hurried over to you. Before he could say anything, Ghost stopped him.
Price stopped and looked at Ghost.
"He's crying, seems to have been going on for awhile"
Looking back at you, Price saw your hand wiping your eyes, sobbing quietly, you muttered to yourself. Price looked at you with guilt, now understanding all those times you walked into his room, just about every day. Standing over you, Price looked down. Seeing your fearful shocked eyes, filled with tears, your cheeks shiny from crying. Price signed and crouched down. Gaz leaned against Price, still tired. Soap and Ghost where standing next to Price, also looking down at your hopeless body. Price his hand on your cheek, rubbing away your tears.
"It's alright son, no need to hide it."
Gaz snapped out of it when he heard that. Using Price's shoulder as a lift, looking at you, he gasped. He's never seen you so weak, so vulnerable. Letting out a loud hic, you grabbed Price's hand, ugly crying you let Price hold you.
"Let it all out, your safe here."
You sat up, hugging Price tightly. You cried into his shoulder, hard. Soap dropped to his knees and hugged you, it's the most he could do right now, he had nothing he could say. The lump in his throat preventing him from saying much.
"We got you..y/n we got you, okay?"
Soap whispered in your ear, hoping to calm you down, even just alittle bit. Gaz patted your head, pulling your head away from Prices shoulder you looked up at him. Smiling, Gaz gently caressed your head. Giving warm to your worn out brain, that's corrupted with the wrong thoughts and ideas.
"Why did you hide? We understand if you can't keep going, you knew that, didn't you? We're here to help, that's the point of the military"
Your eyes widened, you didn't have a answer for him. You didn't have an reason.
You couldn't give an answer. Ghost let out a small sign, not one of disappointment or anything negative. It's just that small air he's been holding in without realization.
"No need to answer, just... try to talk to us, even if it's hard."
You nodded, opening your arm to Ghost. He stared at it for a second before joining the hug. For you.
[A/n:I'm not sure if this is all that good 😅. I hope you enjoyed]
