wait for us - 141 x POC!mer-reader au
warnings: MDNI, angst
author's note: y'all be honest with me, am I dragging it?
After a week, your tail burned.
After two weeks, your tail ached.
After three weeks, your tail tingled.
After… four… no, five weeks, your tail went numb.
Which you're thankful for. Your tail finally stopped bothering you. Most things have stopped bothering you. The annoyed looks from researchers or worried stares from your fellow mermaids didn't bother you anymore.
If only the heavy pressure in your chest would stop bothering you.
Because then you wouldn't have the constant reminder of why your tail went numb or why you feel the need to swim round and round and round… and round your tank. Because without that dull ache in your chest, maybe you could forget that Kyle, Johnny, Simon, and John, your friends, your pod-mates rejected you. They discarded you. They just… left you.
Because if you could forget them, swimming all these endless circles would be a lot easier. No more dull ache in your chest. No more self-deprecating thoughts.
Just you and the water. And the light tapping at your tank.
The light tapping at your tank?
You look towards the source of the tapping and immediately freeze.
Johnny?
You slowly inch towards the edge of your tank where Johnny stands, scared that if you move too fast, he'll disappear. As you get closer, you see Johnny's eyes wander across your body.
He gets on his knees and stretches a hand out. He coos for you to come closer as he gently plays with the water. Weirdly enough, his tone doesn't match the sorrow in his eyes.
Once you're close enough, you gingerly place your head in his grasp. You close your eyes as your cold skin feels the warmth of his skin. To your delight, Johnny rubs his thumb against your cheek.
"My poor thing, look what we did to you," Johnny murmurs.
His stomach churns at he takes in your state. You look so sick… so sad… so broken. What's worst that instead of lashing out at him (which he knows you have every right to), you're nuzzling up against him, desperate for any ounce of his attention. Don't you know that you are a beautiful creature of legend? That you should not bow down to any man, especially for men like Johnny and the crew.
"Sweetheart?" he murmurs. You slowly bring your head up and gaze at him. "Listen to me." You chirp in response and press a small kiss to his hand.
"Just wait for us… tonight, we're going to get you out."
You take in each word slowly. Wait. Us. Tonight. You. Out. You still at the realization. Johnny cups your face and nods furiously as he catches you understanding. Does he mean it?
"I promise, okay?"
Before you can even try to say anything, another researcher yells at Johnny. He snatches one of your floating scales and scurries towards the exit. You hear Johnny and the researcher exchange a few words but you're too caught by the fact that Johnny grabbed one of your scales.
You couldn't believe it. He accepted your gift. He accepted you. You have a mate and it's Johnny! You let out an excited chirp and splashed in the water. Tonight, you'll be back with your pod.
The researcher that yelled at Johnny earlier comes by your tank and peers at you. "What's got you in a good mood?" he asks. You just chirp and motion for food which the researcher does not hesitate to give you. You're going to need to eat a lot if you want to be ready for your mate(s).
— — —
As night fell, so did your mood.
Despite being excited all day, you couldn't ignore the gnawing voice at the back of your head. What if they don't come? What if they can't stomach the fact that you aren't as pretty as before? You tried tending to your scabs but it was no use. The damage had been done.
But if Johnny still grabbed a scale after seeing you, then everything should be fine… right?
So you wait with your heart practically in your throat for the four men.
Sleep tried taking you but you fought against it.
or at least tried fighting it.
But the endless laps and constant picking finally caught up to you.
So as your eyes finally give in, you think… surely they'll wake me up.
zzz
zzz
z—
You jolt awake. Thankfully it's still fairly dark out but slivers of the morning sun peak in the room. You look around, searching for some sign of your boys, but you come up with nothing.
Where are they? Johnny promised…
Before you have a chance to wallow, the main doors break open. You wait with a bated breath as a large box pushes through the doors and slowly moves towards your tank. You take a good look at the box and notice the red smears decorating it's exterior.
You chirp, thinking (hoping) that your boys are right behind it. However, instead of hearing any of their voices, the box jolts. Water splashes from the top of it. You chirp again but are met with more jolting and the voice of disgruntled researchers commanding you to keep it down.
Your skin grows cold as you realize that your boys aren't coming. Instead, something bigger, something scarier, something unknown is.
You dive towards the bottom of your tank, hoping for some escape (that you know won't come). The researchers from above wheel that jolting chest to the edge of your tank before tilting it over, allowing a large mass to drop into your tank.
Kyle who’s your flatmate and a close friend of yours. You’d know each other from when you were high school and moved in together when you needed a place to stay and he was hardly at his flat anyway due to his military job. Even when he was home he was a great roommate. One afternoon when Kyle came home from a long deployment he handed you your mail. A wedding invitation. Your sibling was getting married, officially making you the only sibling for your aunts to gossip about and attempt to set up with their friends children. You hadn’t had the best dating history, or lack there of. All your childhood you weren’t allowed to date but suddenly your parents were ever so worried if you’d find someone. When your mother called asking if you had a partner of some sorts, practically badgering you about how a person of your age should be dating, you blurted out that you were seeing someone bringing him to the wedding which made your mother cry with joy. Nothing you said could bring her down from her euphoria. On top of that she’d texted your family group chat now everyone was talking excitedly about your new mystery man. Now officially unable to disappoint your mother and your whole bloodline, you went to Kyle for help. Explaining that: you needed a fake boyfriend for a destination wedding and a few other events leading up to it. You promised it’d be nice and he’d get a nice vacation, he’ll you’d even compensate him financially if he wanted it. He stared at you before laughing, “You need a fake boyfriend?! Of course luv why not?” He held your face and kissed your cheek making you flush and freeze up. Kyle chuckled “you can’t blush like that when I kiss ya now can ya? We gotta plan our story for how we met.” You and Kyle got to work, mentioning how you went to high school together, and a few months ago reconnected after running into each other. How you clicked even after years apart and had been dating for a couple of months. You held a photo shoot with him too, taking Kyle across town and snapping pictures of your dates across the months. You made sure everything looked spread out. Different outfits, sometimes different days for photos. You were having so much fun you forgot they were fake dates, Kyle and you had some amazing conversations, moments…hell you wishes on multiple occasions he could be your actually boyfriend or you could find a guy who trusted you just like he did. Slowly, the more photos you took, it began to look more natural and you more comfortable with small kisses and touches. You compiled the pictures into an album making it look like you and Kyle were a happy couple in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. Then the anxiety inducing engagement dinner arrived. You nearly puked the night before, what if you couldn’t fool your family? What if you slipped up in your story? You were sick while doing your makeup and doing your hair. When you arrived your mother was over joyed when she saw Kyle. She’d been worried about you since your line of asshole ex’s. The rest of the family loved him, he entertained your younger cousin, and made you melt when he held your little two month old niece while your mother made comments about grandchildren. “He’d make a wonderful father wouldn’t he sweetie?” Your mother playfully elbowed you and you narrowed your gaze at her. The engagement dinner was an absolute success, you hardly noticed when you walked out holding his hand, when he opened the car door for you, or how he held your thigh during the car ride. While driving back to you guys place, Kyle couldn’t help but keep looking at you…You were stunning tonight, you’d washed and twisted your hair the night before and it came out just perfectly. Your curls framed your face as you laughed and giggled about how well the night went. He was absolutely mesmerized by your beauty. He’d seen you in every possible way, good and bad and yet he still could never stop loving you. Maybe he’d finally get the chance to properly be your boyfriend over a stand in.
Ramble as i listen to Baco's new album and...something in me is tender right now. This is for all poc!readers :)
Kyle is so used to bring around his mates he often doesn't notice the part of him he's ignoring until you come along. It was more than melanin for you, it was identity. Experiences of your color, the culture, the aet, the history behind it. Sitting there with all the grace and confidence of a panther.
And you don't even glance when Johnny tries hitting you up, pulled by the allure of your skin and beauty, yet Kyle stared at you like seeing the mirror of something he should be a part of, feeling so right when you smiled at him over his mates.
When you two talk, he feels a weight in his stomach and a lightness to his chest. And the more time you two are together the more he seems to settle in his skin more comfortably. Curls better cared for, brown skin glowing. A feline in it's true confidence. He uses clothes not scared to be seen as different than his white counterparts, he acts without worrying for how others would perceive him differently than others. He exists without fear for being him.
Kyle loves his lover and how they taught him to love his skin — his identity.
These are some of my thoughts for 'If I Can't, No One Can' by @hahaifolded
my heart breaking thought is reader demoting Laswell to her colleague vs her mentor after this whole mess. I don't think reader would be upset at Laswell but she def takes this as a learning moment. I imagine reader isn't Laswells only mentee & maybe some months later, theres an another mentee & she runs into reader (I like to think reader is with kortac and just making a pit stop at a random base) & new mentee is so happy to have another woc on base. They bond a bit & the new mentee is gushing about Laswell and notices that reader isn't matching the mentees energy. So reader gently lets her know that while Laswell is an amazing mentor, Laswell doesn't always know her boys as well as she thinks so take what she says with a grain of salt.
hehehe in my head Laswell accidentally overhears it & kinda finally realizes how big she fucked up. I see Laswell as one of those white gay women who think gender and sexuality discrimination is like the worst thing that has ever happened & she has a hard time seeing racial discrimination especially to people she's close to and how it can be a double whammy for woc. like I just know this lady has read a lot queer feminist books but has never heard of the word 'misogynoir'
Tags/Warnings: Multiple 141 x POC!Fem Reader; MDNI; ANGST; Heartbreak; Insecurities; Sabotage; Emotional Cheating; The guys just suck; not proofread
You couldn’t believe it. If this is a dream, you never want to wake up. In the matter of hours, not long after the end of this beautiful rehearsal dinner, you’ll be married to the man of your dreams. You grab your fiance’s arm and lay your head against his shoulder. He peers down and kisses the top of your head. You never want this moment to end.
Clink, clink, clink
“I would like to make a toast.”
Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
“Save it for tomorrow!” Kyle hollers.
Standing up, Johnny waves away your fiance’s suggestion and grabs a mic. “Has to be tonight. I’ll be too busy getting to know the bride’s cousins tomorrow.” He throws a wolfish grin to the crowd which is received with groans and cheers. You and Kyle laugh, amused by the sergeant’s antics. Kyle, with a smile on his face, concedes.
The room falls silent as everyone eagerly waits to hear what one of the groom’s co-workers has to say about the happy couple.
Which in the beginning isn’t anything that different from what’s been said so far. However, after singing both your and Kyle’s praises, Johnny’s speech takes a sudden turn.
“And you all want to know something,” Johnny starts, his words slightly slurred, “Kyle here has never once thanked me for making this happen.” He ushers to the two of you. You feel Kyle tense which only piques your interest. “If Kyle hadn’t lost that bet, he would have never gone out with our beautiful bride here.” The once quiet room erupts with whispers and murmurs. You stand up straight, confused by the Scotsman’s words.
John grabs at Johnny to sit down, but the babbling Scotsman pulls away. With a mic in hand and a beer in the other, Johnny walks towards you and Kyle and continues, “Oh yeah, lover boy here thought that our beautiful bride was anything but that, so after losing a bet, his punishment was to go on a date here with…” Johnny stops to think. He snaps his fingers and calls to Kyle. “What’s the nickname you had for her?”
Your fiance stands up and commands Johnny to stop. Your skin starts to prickle as you feel all your friends and family’s eyes fall on you.
Johnny stands in thought for a few more seconds when hollering, “Got it!” Your ears ring as the sergeant recites a nickname that hits on your biggest insecurity. Gasps and choked laughs accompany the ringing. Your fiance completely freezes, eyes wide in shock.
Without realizing what he’s done, Johnny continues, “and Kyle was mad, going on and on about how he’d rather die than be seen out in public with our bird here.” He mindlessly laughs as he recalls what he considers to be a fun memory.
You turn towards your fiance as memories of your first date come back to you. You recall Kyle’s quietness and stand-offishness, which for the longest time, you took as nerves, but now you can’t help but read them as distaste… or even disgust. Really, when you look back at your entire relationship, you come to the daunting realization that most of your dates with Kyle had either been inside his or your apartment, or somewhere incredibly private, something that you never questioned as you thought Kyle just respected your hermit-like tendencies. However, now you wonder whether he did that more for himself.
Thankfully, before Johnny can say anything else, Simon rushes the sergeant and rips the mic away from him. But unfortunately the damage has been done. You rise from your seat, ignoring the sudden uproar in the room, and turn towards your fiance. Kyle opens his mouth in an attempt to say something but is silenced when your hand slides across his face.
“Fuck you,” you hiss before leaving what was the happiest night of your life.
Simon “Ghost” Riley
Simon rolls his eyes but ultimately allows Johnny to give this impromptu speech. He rests his chin on the top of your head and murmurs against your skin, “better today than tomorrow.” You can’t help but laugh at your fiancé’s words.
The crowd cheers and eggs Johnny to speak as the mic falls into his hands. With a wave of his hands, the Scotsman asks all of your friends and family to quiet down. “Tonight there’s no question that these two don’t belong with each other. I mean look at them, two peas in a pod… disgusting,” he jokes. You, Simon, and everyone in the room laughs.
“But, really what I want to do tonight is start from the beginning, which might surprise you all,” Johnny announces. You tilt your head as you aren’t sure where the sergeant is going. You turn towards Simon who’s still with his eyes locked on his best man.
Now with all the attention focused on him, Johnny commands the room. “You see, Simon despised our lassie here when she first joined the team. Never knew how much hatred L.T was capable of till she joined.” The room is completely silent with a few awkward coughs here and there. Oblivious to the tension in the room, Johnny continues, “I mean it was bad. He’d beg our cap’n here,” Price ducks as Johnny motions to him, “to drop her, even threatened to leave her behind if he didn't, which he probably would have if Kyle and I didn’t step in. I mean there was one time--”
“That’s enough, Johnny.” Simon barks. His fists press against the table, slightly trembling, as his eyes burn with rage.
Unfortunately, Johnny is oblivious to the groom-to-be’s anger. “I’m getting to the best part.” With a smile on his face, the best man turns your entire world upside down. “One time, I even caught L.T here trying to mess with our girl’s radio before a mission. Thankfully, I caught him before it was too late. But hey at least it wasn’t a parachute,” Johnny howls in laughter. He’s the only one.
At least it wasn’t a parachute.
“Love,” Simon calls out to you, panic clearly in his voice. You remain still, eyes still glued on your family’s terrified faces as Johnny’s words repeat in your head. It wasn’t a parachute.
A parachute.
A parachute had taken you out of commission. A parachute left you no choice but to take that admin job. A parachute had forced you and Simon, who kept you never connected to in the beginning, to get closer. A parachute was what led you to this moment.
“Sweetheart,” Simon cries out. You finally face him and nearly pass out as guilt swirled in those beautiful brown eyes. “When I realized what I had done…”
You get up. You can’t bear to hear this. However, before you can leave, Simon grabs your wrist and begs you to stay. “Please, I love you now.”
You pull your hand away and cradle it as if it was burned. You stare Simon down and with the last ounce of strength you have, you whisper, “and I never hated you.”
John Price
“You don’t have to,” John assures the clearly stressed out lieutenant. However, Simon is adamant on speaking. After going back and forth for a bit, John surrenders.
With a slight tremble in his hand, Simon raises the mic to his mouth and speaks, “Hi, I’m Simon and I’ve known John for a really long time.” You look at John who stares at his right-hand man with pride. “And in all those years, I’ve never seen John look so happy then I do now.” People cheer for you and John. Overwhelmed by everyone’s love, you lean over and kiss John on the cheek which only gets the people to cheer louder. John looks at you and cradles your face in his hands.
Infected by the good vibes in the room, Simon continues, “and I’ll be honest, I never thought I’d see John happy again after Emma left.” The energy in the room shifts as everyone tries to figure out who ‘Emma’ is. You, unfortunately, know who.
Emma. Your former intelligence supervisor. She was a strong woman that had little patience for incompetence. You remember following her around like a lost puppy on the 141 base, just hoping that by being near her, you’ll catch just an ounce of her aura. Her and John had a great relationship, filled with quips and mutual respect. But after some late night intelligence briefing between her and John, she left, citing professional differences. You were caught off guard by her departure but didn’t stress too much about it as you were promoted to head intelligence officer which allowed you to get closer to your John. Heck, you even stayed in contact with your mentor and invited her to your wedding.
You look out at the crowd and see Emma’s burning red face staring right at you. You look over at John for reassurance but gasp as you see his eyes locked on her. She’s not looking at you, but at John.
Oh.
You get up from the table which breaks John from his impromptu staring contest. He tries to follow you out but you wave him away with a trembling hand.
“Don’t.”
John “Soap” MacTavish
“Let’s go Kyle!” Johnny cheers. Your fiance pulls you in for a kiss as Kyle grabs a mic. A couple more guys, specifically your fiance’s co-workers, cheer as the sergeant clears his throat.
“Let’s give it to the beautiful couple!” The crowd cheers you to which only eggs Johnny to pull you in for another kiss. You can’t help but laugh against his lips. You couldn’t believe he was yours.
After reeling the crowd back in, Kyle chuckles in the mic before continuing. “Truly what a beautiful couple. We have our beautiful, radiant girl who’s smile could make any soldier fight harder just to come home to her and Johnny.” The room laughs. “I mean really, why Johnny?” Kyle turns to you. Everyone laughs at Kyle’s faux confusion.
Kyle, enamored by the attention, keeps going. “Honestly I’m surprised you two worked out cause if I’m honest here, you’re nothing like Johnny’s type.” Johnny stills and signals Kyle to stop. He doesn’t.
Now failing the crowd, Kyle describes Johnny’s type, which is the complete opposite of you. “I mean the minute anything remotely close to that walked in the room, Johnny followed it like a dog with a streak. So imagine our surprise when Soap brought her along for drinks one night.”
The room goes quiet. You try to laugh to break the awkwardness but it’s way too tense in the room. You look over at Johnny for back up but his head is down and his shoulders are hunched over.
Why isn’t he looking at you? You can’t help but assume the worst. Is he getting cold feet? Did he just realize how incredibly average you are compared to his exes? Sure, you might not win a beauty contest but you didn’t think you were that bad?
“Johnny?” You reach for his arm but he immediately jerks it away the moment you touch it. He freezes as he realizes what he’s done
“Wait, mo ghàidh.” You don’t bother to hear him out. You shake your head and leave the table, leaving both the dinner and relationship behind.
Word Count: 1877
Thanks for reading! — Folded’s Page Guide + Masterlist
Author's Note: My bad. Don't know where this came from.
141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - Adiós Amor, Te Vas (LONG Drabble)
Author's Note: If you want some music in the background while you read this, click the link above. Y'all just can't blame me for any tears
Warnings: MDNI, Angst
The 141 have always prided themselves in their ability to work as one. No matter the task or obstacles, the 141 always got the job done together. Maybe it was because of John's leadership or Ghost's adaptability or Kyle's decisiveness or maybe Johnny's efficiency. Whatever it was didn't matter because at the end of the day, they were a team.
A team that shared every high
and every low…
Like the one today as today you are leaving the 141 for good.
John, Simon, Kyle, and Johnny stand on the tarmac and watch their recent ally's equipment get loaded up in your getaway plane. Each one stands in silence as the blazing sun burns the back of their necks. Its heat mild in comparison to the burning shame in their chests.
For John, he's ashamed that he prioritized himself and his ego before you. Too keen on controlling the others that he lost sight of what mattered most, you. Now he has to watch you wait for your new captain with your new team and pray that you don't forget him,
For Simon, he's ashamed that he let his mask take over. He followed Price's orders with a cruel precision that he normally leaves to his enemies. Why? He isn't entirely sure. What he is confident on is that he hurt you and pushed you in the arms of others. Others, that he hopes, will take better care of you.
For Johnny, he's ashamed that he did nothing. For a man of action, he can't believe that he stood idly and left you to fend for yourself. He ignored you and made you feel worthless all because he didn't want the others to have you. Now look at him , he nor anyone else on the team has you.
For Kyle, he's ashamed that he chose this team before you. Despite the ache in his chest, he followed Price's order. He ignored your pain under the guise of duty but what did that get him? Sure, he still has his team but it doesn't have you anymore, and without you, what's the point anymore?
And despite their last minute (embarrassing) attempt, it doesn't change the fact that you're walking across the tarmac with your new teammates, getting ready to leave the 141 behind.
However, what they don't know is that you're far than ready to leave the 141 behind.
After their confession, you found yourself angry and hurt. How dare they tell you the truth once it was too late? Did they really think so little of you? For days, you found yourself writhing with bitterness. However, as you made the final arrangements for your transfer, you came to a harrowing conclusion; no matter what they did and didn't do, you will always have a soft spot for the 141. And knowing that you'll never know what could have been kills you on the inside.
So as an attempt to ease your soul, you decide to pretend like everything is fine for one last time.
"Kyle, my favorite sergeant," you ignore Kyle's shocked face and continue, "it truly was an honor working with you. Just do me a favor."
"Anything."
"Take up space, and if there isn't any, make it." Without giving him a chance to react, you pull Kyle in for a hug. He stills before regaining his composure. He wraps his arms around you and returns the embrace. With your face near his ear, you whisper, "I know you'll make a great captain someday." He squeezes you tightly before letting you go.
With tears brimming in his eyes, he thanks you and ushers you to Johnny who has his head down in shame.
"Now Garrick might be my favorite sergeant but that doesn't change the fact that you're my favorite John, Johnny." The Scotsman lets out a small chuckle and perks up. Catching the tears brimming in his eyes, you coo at him and pull him in for a hug. Johnny doesn't hesitate and holds you tightly. You bask in his arms for a bit before pulling away. With both of his hands in yours, you beg him to never change.
"Stay gold, Johnny-boy." Knowing that if you stay a second longer, you'll cry, you step to the side towards Simon.
Simon stares at you with cold and distant eyes. You extend a hand out, unsure whether the Lieutenant would accept a hug. He slowly takes it without ever taking his eyes off yours.
"You know, Simon, you're still the kindest guy I know. Please don't forget that under that mask is a good man." As soon as you said those words, you found your face buried in his chest. Realizing what he's done, you wrap your arms around the big guy and squeeze tightly.
After a few seconds, you poke at Simon to let you go which he does begrudgingly. You can't help but smile when you catch the way Simon's eyes crinkle.
And with that, you move on to the one and only, John Price. However, before you have a chance to open your mouth, John says your name.
"It's been an honor working alongside you and although this union didn't end the way we all had hoped for, I just want you to know that you will always have a place here on the 141, as a teammate and friend," John admits. His voice is curt and professional.
You inhale sharply. That's all you ever wanted to hear. You just wanted to be a part of them and all it took was for you to leave to earn that spot. Oh, the irony!
You nod slowly in attempt to keep the tears at bay but its futile. As tears threaten to spill over your eyes, John Price, the man that would have been your captain and maybe more, drops his captain persona and wraps you in his arms.
"I am so sorry," he gasps, "we're so sorry." You bite your tongue. Your instinct was to say 'it's okay,' but it wasn't. What they did wasn't okay.
So instead, you say, "you were just trying to protect your team, John, because that's what a leader, a good leader, does." John's throat tightens as your admission. (Don't you know that you were part of that team as well?)
"If one day you want to come back, come back to us… please," John whispers. You simply nod, clearly to choked up to say anything.
As you burrow yourself in John's arms, the 141 all stare at you with wonder.
Is this really it?
"Captain is on his way. We should get moving," Nikto interrupts.
Of course it is.
You pull away from John and throw the 141 one last smile before walking towards the loaded plane. John, Simon, Johnny, and Kyle all fight the urge to pull you back. As much as they wanted you to stay, they know that you deserve better. You deserve a team that isn't so…
"Pathetic" Keegan taunts. He walks past the 141 and laughs. "Play with fire but act surprise when you get burnt." The American doesn't even try to hide his glee. He hastens his pace to catch up to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder to show off his claim.
While the other three are caught off guard at the blatant act of aggression, Johnny moves forward, ready to bite back when Nikto firmly grips the sergeant's soldier. "I told him to behave," the Russian complains. Despite the flatness in his voice, it's clear that Nitko shares the same glee as his comrade as his eyes show a level of emotion that none of the 141 thought possible for the giant.
He extends a hand out to Ghost and thanks him. "If it wasn't for your foolishness, they wouldn't be coming back home with us so, thank you. We will take good care of them now." Ghost takes Nitko's hand and growls at the man's haughtiness. Nikto chuckles and walks away, leaving the four to fester in their failure.
Which doesn't last long as the final member of the trio nears to gloat bid his farewell.
Horangi places a hand over Kyle's shoulder and congrats the four on such a successful mission. To the 141's surprise, it seems like the Korean sergeant is earnestly saying goodbye to them as he wishes each one of them good luck on their next missions.
Willing to extend an olive branch, Kyle speaks for the team and offers the same respect back to Horangi and his teammates which Kyle quickly wishes he didn't when Horangi responds…
"And don't worry about your little spy. We'll make sure we fuck them hard enough so they forget about your sorry asses." And with that, the Korean sergeant leave the four with their jaws and pride to the floor.
As you near the open cargo plane, you can't help but feel nervous. What if this is a mistake? What if Kor-tac ends up regretting this decision? What if—
A steady arm wraps itself over your shoulder. "Don't think so hard. Just enjoy the butterflies," Keegan reassures you. He gently knocks his head against yours which eases your nerves. Not long afterwards, you feel the familiar presence of Nikto and Horangi appear behind you and Keegan. You turn around and immediately get some reassurance from the duo: a wink from Nikto and a cheer from Horangi. You can't help but laugh. Maybe everything will be fine.
It's not long until the Kor-tac captain appears. You're not sure what to expect as you heard varying descriptions of the man. According to Nikto, he's an asshole with an occasional soft side. To Keegan, he's frigid but watchful and to Horangi, he's just a weirdo.
So now as you stand face to face with the elusive Kor-tac captain, you find yourself completely in the dark. But hey, you've managed a lot worse with a lot less information.
"Nice to meet you, sir," you state with an extended hand . To your surprise, the Kor-tac captain just stares at you without saying a word.
Great, just like Nikto said, an asshole. You drop your hand and stare back. You're done letting some random European step all over you. The staring contest goes for a bit before he cuts the silence with a full belly laugh.
"I can see why my men like you," he remarks. With eyes full of mirth, he continues, "I look forward to working with you, sonnenschein (sunshine)."
"Like wise, captain."
"Captain?," he bellows. He glares at the other three who just laughs at their offended captain. "How many times have I told you? I am a colonel!"
141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - In Another Life (LONG Drabble)
Author's Note: If you saw me say this was supposed to be 4k... shhh, no you didn't. Also warning to all, I do block ageless and minor blogs
Warnings: MDNI, Angst (I may or may not have teared up)
“Are you really leaving us?”
One minute you’re packing your life up to start anew and the next, you’re being bombarded by the very same life you’re trying to leave.
You usher the 141 into your quaint apartment. You were hoping to have this conversation next week, but you guess now is fine.
Johnny and Kyle walk in the room, eyes sad but still curious as they take in your place. You can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed as belongings and boxes litter your living room. If your mom was here, she’d probably smack you on the back side of your head for having guests over without clearing first. John and Simon follow behind, head up but their eyes down. You glance quickly behind them, making sure no one else is coming, before closing the door. The four men take a seat on your couch while you plop yourself on the ottoman. A few eternal seconds go by before anyone speaks.
“Is it true?” Kyle asks. His voice is soft.
Tired of everything, you answer diplomatically, “Yes. I was offered a position in Kor-tac that better aligns with my go—“
“Don’t.” Kyle shakes his head. “Be honest with us… please.”
You’re taken aback. Why do they all look so down? Why do they look like you just stomped their heart to a pulp? Isn’t this what they wanted?
“What do you want me to say?”
Johnny speaks next. “The truth.” You’ve never seen Johnny look so sad. You avoid the slight twinge in your heart.
“I’m leaving. I’m joining Kor-tac because….” Why is this so hard to say? It’s not like you’re lying. You just want better. You deserve better. And so do they. “Because they want me.”
Price reaches for you but stops himself before touching you. He instead scoots to the edge of the couch and admits that they, the 141, the team that you’ve longed for an ounce of recognition, wants you. “Stay and be our intelligence officer.” You look at the other three and are met with gentle eyes, soft smiles, and hopeful stares.
Despite this being something that you had craved for for months, their soft demeanor made you sick. None of this made sense. They treat you like shit for months, a clear indication that they didn’t want you on the team, a sentiment that they’ve even voiced, but now they’re on your couch, begging you to stay.
“What?” You get up. “What the fuck?” You’re at the brink of yelling. You avoid their shocked faces. “I don’t… what?”
You’re not sure when he got there, but Simon is suddenly at your side. He tries to get you to take a seat but that only sets you off more.
You swipe his hands away and yell, “don’t fucking touch me!” You take a step back, away from Simon and the rest of the 141. Tear well in your eyes, either out of anger or disbelief, you’re not sure.
“Sweetheart,” Simon starts up again but you hold a hand up, begging him to stop. Why are they doing this? After months of holding it in, you do something that you vowed to never do. You cry in front of them.
“Is this some prank? Some sick way of getting the last laugh?” you manage to ask through your tears. You ignore their worried stares as it only makes you feel worse.
John gets up and with his hands out, he slowly makes his way towards you. “We’re not lying. We want you. We want you to stay here… with us.” He’s about to wrap his hands around you when you push him away.
“Then what the hell is this?” You flail your arms. “You treated me like shit for months and now you want me to stay? For what? So you can all keep playing this fuck ass game of hot and cold with me?” The tears only fell harder, the longer you spoke. “Do you guys really hate me that much?”
John couldn’t take it anymore. Against your protests, the 141 captain wraps you in his arms and coos at you as you sob into his chest. His own eyes welled with tears. They broke you. They broke strong, beautiful you.
“Sh, sh, sh. You’re okay. Let it out. We’re right here,” he whispers against your head.
With a single nod, John commands the rest of the men in motion. Kyle goes to your kitchen and warms up the kettle. Johnny looks through your boxes and pulls out a small blanket. Ghost joins Price and together, they gently usher you to your couch. Without ever letting go of you, John sets you on the couch and keeps you on his chest. Ghost sits to your other side and rubs your back endearingly while Johnny drapes your blanket over you. With no more space on the couch, Johnny takes a seat on your ottoman. Soon afterwards, Kyle joins the three. He sets a mug with your favorite tea on the coffee table before joining Johnny on the ottoman.
Your sobs eventually die out. You pull away from John’s hold, chest heaving, face wet. You try to get up but John grabs your arm, not as a demand, but just as a plea. John’s breath hitches as you slowly raise your gaze from his grip to his face.
“Why do you hate me so much? What did I do?”
“Nothing,” Johnny drops to his knees before you. “You did nothing wrong.” Right now, the only thing Johnny wants to do is hold you and help you forget the pain they’ve caused you. But he can’t. Instead, he has to try to make things right.
“You’ve been perfect, better than any of us ever deserved.” Johnny licks his lips as he gathers his words. He grasps one of your hands and practically prays to you. You had to know how special you made Johnny and the rest of the 141 feel. How you made each guy feel like they were more than congs in a machine. For Johnny especially, you made him feel like he wasn’t the babbling brute that everyone saw him for. He even admits how these past few months have been a living hell for all of them.
“You don’t know how badly we wanted all of this to end, but we couldn’t. We had to stay strong.” Johnny pauses to kiss your hand. “But now it doesn’t matter. We talked it out. We’ll make it work. So please… stay,” he whispers the last part in your hand. He fights back the whine in his throat when you pull your hand away. He doesn’t hide the sharp gasp he makes when you lift his face upwards.
“Johnny,” he nuzzles his face into your hands, “what do you mean you guys ‘talked it out’? Talked what out?” Johnny straightens his back and finds himself gaping for an answer.
Fuck.
Simon feels his stomach twist as your eyes dart around the four, looking for an answer. They were so close… or at least closer than they had been before coming here, but Johnny had to open that fucking mouth of his. Fuck.
You pull your hands away from Johnny as the room remains silent. Simon refuses to lose you. He can’t. They can’t. So Simon does what should have been done months ago.
“We love you.” You snap your head towards Simon, eyes wide with shock. Simon takes in a deep breath and confesses, “after that night at the bar,” your eyes flicker with recognition, “we realized that we wanted you for our own. Fuck, I wanted to marry you… I still do, but…” Simon licks his lips for strength, “But none of us wanted to share so Price ordered us to keep our distance to ensure the team’s survival.”
You stare at him, eyes empty, which doesn’t comfort Simon, but also doesn’t deter him. “But like Johnny mentioned, we talked it out and… and we’re willing to share.” Simon grabs your hands and continues, “so stay and let us worship you. I promise we’ll take care of you.”
You continue to stare at Simon for what feels like an eternity. Then, slowly, you turn to each member of the 141 in seach of answers. They all nod as there isn’t a point to hide it anymore. You slowly turn back to Simon, pull your hands away, and… laugh.
You don’t think you ever heard a funnier joke than the one Simon just said. Because this has to be a joke, right? The 141 being so enamoured with you that instead of talking it out with you, they decide to ignore you for the betterment of the team. That’s hilarious. Because these are grown men. They would never do something so immature and painful to someone who they supposedly love… right?
Through your laughter, you manage to ask if he’s kidding, if they’re all kidding. “So what? Am I supposed to let you guys fuck me now and pretend that none of this happened?” You continue to laugh at the absurdity. There’s no what that’s what they thought?
However, as you find yourself staring at their dumbfounded faces, you realize that’s exactly what they thought.
Which only makes you laugh harder…
Because if they had told you the truth, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have been ignored, disrespected, or even ridiculed by not only these four men, but by an entire base that saw you as an unwanted token.
Because if they had told you the truth, you would have willingly and happily been theirs. Instead of boxes, it would have been extra caps, cigars, masks, and sketches littering your living room right now. Maybe you would have been cuddled up between Simon and John instead of being caged by them right now. Maybe Kyle and Johnny would have a content smile on their faces instead of the grimaces they’re both wearing right now.
Maybe you all would have been happy.
And that makes you laugh.
And the longer that your laugh went, the more sick Kyle felt. He knows exactly what you’re thinking because the same things run through his mind. How naive they were thinking that everything would turn out fine in the end?
“I know we messed up,” Kyle immediately says as soon as your laugh dies. “But you have to understand that--”
“You know the worst part about this, Kyle,” you wipe the tears forming at the corner of your eyes, “is that you guys put a target on my back.” With your voice soft now, you continue, “Everyone questioned my work, my ability… my worth for months because you guys wouldn’t look me in the eye. Instead of being respected, I was ridiculed and labeled as a diversity hire… the 141’s token all because you guys saw me as a thing than a person who worked hard… harder than most of you to be here.”
You cock your head up to look at Kyle straight on. He recognizes that look. Betrayal.
Kyle whispers your name but you’re not having none of it. You stand up, fury in your eyes. “I trusted each and every single one of you guys, because for once, I thought I met people who saw me for my worth, who respected me. But now I see that you guys,” you motion towards John, Simon, and Johnny, “are just like every other white bastard I’ve met before… selfish. But you, Kyle,” you point at the sergeant, “should’ve been better but in reality, you’re just like them.”
Tears prick at Kyle’s eyes but he keeps them at bay. He knows he has no right to cry right now. Johnny opens his mouth to speak but Kyle puts a hand on his shoulder. It’s over.
You walk towards your door and open it while furiously wiping your tears away. “Please leave. I’m done,” you ask. John speaks up and asks you to hold on but Kyle tells him to shut up. Kyle is done being a follower. He takes the lead and herds the team towards the door. John and Johnny put up a slight fight but Kyle quickly squashes it. Simon thankfully follows.
You stand strong at your door, waiting for the 141 to leave. John whispers out “I’m sorry” before walking out the door. Johnny follows next and goes in for one last hug but pauses before he touches you. Simon is next to leave, but before he does, he stares at you for a few seconds (almost like he’s taking you in).
Kyle is the last one. He knows he shouldn’t but, he lingers for a bit, waiting for the rest of the team to move out a bit. You stay quiet as he hovers before you. So does he. You stare at him, eyes filled with sorrow. Kyle would like to think it’s because you’re sad that you’re leaving them because that would hurt less than the truth; there’s sorrow in your eyes because you mourn what could have been.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
“I know,” you quietly agree.
“I wish I was better.”
“So do I.”
Kyle starts to walk out the door. However, before he does, one final question climbs up his throat. A question that only needs three words because any more would just be redundant for you. You’ll know what he’s referring to because that’s always been the nature of your relationship. You knew him, and he knew you. You saw him, and he saw you.
If I Can't, No One Can - 141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative Reader Drabble List
Warnings: MDNI and mostly Angst
Author's Note: Made a list because I am a fiend for organization! I'm not gonna lie, I'm low-key a masochist (and not even the fun kind really) so you will all suffer with me!
