#coelacanth post

[screaming-coelacanth]

Hmmm... Anyone else with ADHD feel like their emotions are impermanent? Like, I'm horribly depressed one second, and then 20 minutes later I'm laughing and singing along to a song. Like, no consistency, or very little consistency when you're having Big Emotions.

[screaming-coelacanth]

ADHDers can be really really good at hiding their inattention, and I mean that specifically when in conversations. We can look completely engaged and attentive but our minds are splitting off into different ideas or thought processes.

I remember talking to a friend who has ADHD and I stopped talking and they were like “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening, I was distracted by your earrings”. The entire time though they had been looking at me and seemed to be very focused on what I was saying.

So I guess if I’m making a point it’s that... inattention doesn’t always look the same, and it doesn’t always look like someone glancing around and never being able to look at you.

I think to an extent a lot of us have learned that if you look at the person, at least it seems like you’re listening, or it feels less rude than if you’re looking around, but it doesn’t stop your mind from wandering.

[screaming-coelacanth]

It's kind of funny reading how people plan their days, especially ADHDers, because I also feel like if something's happening in a day, that's it, that's what I'm doing that day.

But the way I plan for it is, mostly sacrificing things. Like, I'll give myself an hour to get ready and get there which usually isn't enough time actually and I'll end up sacrificing something, like eating or showering, so I can get there on time.

I think part of it is I value my sleep so much and that when it's just this one thing I kind of need a panic scenario (you need to leave Soon!) to get there or else I keep thinking I have time.

Or at least that's how it is sometimes. Other times, especially when I'm catching a bus, I try and get to the bus stop at least ten minutes early so I can't possibly miss it.

[screaming-coelacanth]

I keep forgetting having difficulty sorting your words is an ADHD thing like,,, right, that's why I looked at a fish biologist and did approximately the following: "oh, you study fish? Oh I'm, well, so, birds are, and I, you, well" [big pause] "I like fish too"

Like, sometimes you have something to say that's more refined but you can't get it out so you just,,, say what's the most simple thing to say

[screaming-coelacanth]

ADHD is just me, sitting in front of my computer, for several hours, thinking “ah yeah, I should go brush my teeth now” and not... getting... up

[screaming-coelacanth]

Also just, building off my last post, it’s wild how much more relaxing it is to talk to other ADHDers or other people with memory/inattention issues or who are neurodivergent just because, the fear of judgement goes down. 

When I realize I don’t remember the last thing I said, I don’t panic with an ADHDer the same way I do with other people (especially older adults). I don’t feel bad telling neurodivergent pals that I lost focus, or “I’m so sorry, I was thinking about birds” because they get it! And they’re not going to be angry at me! And they know I won’t be angry with them if they lost focus! Or if they interrupt me, it’s okay. 

[screaming-coelacanth]

Even if it can be a bit much sometimes and I can be a bit much to other people, I do really love getting excited more easily and falling in love with topics so quickly.

I love being able to share interest in other people's passions and loving to learn and just, falling in love with subjects.

It's not always so fun losing that love, especially because it makes it very hard to finish projects I've started while "in love" but, I'm still glad to have had those passions. I'll always have affection for them.

[screaming-coelacanth]

ADHD is cool because my inability to choose between two cereals made me almost cry in a grocery store