#memory issues

[eptck]

you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.

you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.

you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.

you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.

you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.

you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.

you have to be kind. you have to be kind.

[swarmofravens]

Memory loss doesn't look like what I thought it would. I spent several years convinced I could have a dissociative disorder primarily because I "didn't experience memory loss". I wasn't waking up in a strange place unaware of how I got there. I wasn't having people I'd never met come up to me and call me by a different name. I wasn't finding things I'd bought unintentionally or projects I'd done with no recollection of doing them. But I was, not remembering why I was upset in the middle of crying. Finding journal entries I didn't write. Suddenly not liking music I saved on a playlist named 'my favorite songs ever'. Randomly wanting to make drastic changes to my appearance and then forgetting why I wanted to look like that. Not knowing what day of the week it was, or how many days it had been since I did something (was that this morning or 3 days ago). Having friends tell me I was acting differently when I thought that was how I always acted.

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

[existennialmemes]

I hate when I'm having a thought, like fully having it. It is in my brain, and then suddenly it's just. Gone. Completely. Like I dropped it off a fucking cliff and I'm just staring over the ravine where it fell, like "ugh, I'll never find that again."

My brain handles my thoughts with the same grace and efficiency as an arcade claw machine handles the stuffed animals you'll never win.

[whump-bunny]

Whumpees with memory issues being overly flippant about their traumatic event.

Whumpee: "Yeah, I was way into cooking before, but now I can't really look at knives without having a dissociative panic attack like a loser."

Caretaker: "Whumpee, don't call yourself a loser! You went through hell."

Whumpee: "Bruh, I don't even remember like 90% of it. Like I don't even know what Whumper did with the knives, I just know I can't look at em."

Caretaker: :(

[disabled-dyke]

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

[justbreakonme]

Whumpee running as fast as they can, following familiar roads, not daring to look back, till they had run right through Caretakers front door and into their arms, pleading god he’s right behind me, please, please, don’t let him take me again-

Caretaker holds them close, promises that they were safe here, he was never going to lay a finger on them again.

They don’t mention that whumper had been dead for years. That reality sometimes slipped away from whumpee for hours at a time, that they would disappear, but they always came back.

They don’t mention the tracker tag they’d hidden in whumpees shoe, sewn into jackets, hidden in pockets, it was just for safety, in case Whumpee did ever get really lost. Well, lost in the more literal sense.

They’d tried to explain, when it first started happening, but Whumpee never believed them, and it would only make them more distressed. So they stopped, and played along, till Whumpee came back out from those memories.

Until then, they’d lock the doors, close the curtains, and hold whumpee on the couch, reassuring them that whumper would never, ever get them again.

Because what mattered was that Whumpee felt safe, and they could do that.

[chroniccoolness]

this post is for the people with memory issues

people who's memories are getting worse every day, who's memories are stable but poor, people who can't remember what they did today or yesterday or this week, people who's childhoods are a faded blur. people who have slow greying-out amnesia that seems to just fade in and out of existence, and people who have complete blackouts, and people who have both. people who mourn the happy memories they know they've lost, who fear the bad memories they've lost that still affect them.

people who have "emotional amnesia" that makes it feel like none of their memories are their own, because there's few or no feelings attached. people who can ONLY remember the feelings from certain or even most memories, not actual events. people who's memory issues scare them or make them angry or make them miserable. people who's memory issues get them called childish or difficult or rude. who can't remember the names or faces of those they love. who are constantly forgetting the things that "you'd remember if you really cared". who misplace everything. who remember so little of their lives that they barely know who they are. people who's memory issues come from trauma/dissociation, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, brain fog/chronic fatigue, drug use, alcoholism. people who have no idea what causes their memory issues. people who's memory issues come from something else entirely.

i love you, you're strong, and you deserve support and care for what you're going through. memory issues can be frustrating and upsetting and disabling, and your suffering deserves to be recognized. whether you're soaring through recovery or are only ever going to get worse, you deserve good things in life and to live the fullest you can, regardless of how much you remember.